Book Description
Anger Busting 101 is the first book to use the acclaimed Recovery approach to solve anger problems. It gives you dozens of quick tips you can use every day to diffuse anger early on. Author Newton Hightower expertly combines personal stories with scientific research and solid clinical data to give angry men and their families the hope and the help they need.
Customer Reviews:
I'm sure this is helpful, but..............2007-03-16
It focuses on men who hit women, not on men who need to deal with anger constructively. Just not what I was looking for.
Anger Busting.......2007-01-19
If you men with patience problems, contemptuous communications, etc. that equate to ANGER want simple advice and checklist type steps to help you gain control of 'flaw' in your personality, look no further.
If you ladies that care about/love a man with ANGER problems want simple advice and checklist type steps to help you help your man control the 'flaw' in his personality, look no further.
Simple to read and valuable for both genders.
I highly recommend it.
Excellent.......2007-01-04
Very informative and easy to read for both sides of an angry relationship. There are many scientific facts in this book that you wouldn't realize without it. Like the effect cursing has on the chemical reations in your body and how aggresive driving effects the rest of your daily interactions. It also tells the different types of angry men and which ones can be reformed and the ones to walk away from.
Sometimes anger is proper.......2006-07-18
Something that is missed is, sometimes you blow your stack when fully pushed to the wall with no recourse. Even a rabbit will bite in that situation. If this response is occasional, rather than a routine lifestyle, and results from the other person's dogmatic refusal to compromise while attacking your core values, it may indeed be the "other person's fault", or more accurately, you made a bad choice in mates.
Anger busting 101.......2006-01-30
This book changed my life and is helping to change my husbands
Book Description
Your project went off without a hitch--but somebody else got the credit...You averted a crisis brilliantly--but no one noticed...You came to the meeting with a sensational idea--but it was ignored until someone else said the same thing...
HOW CAN YOU GET CREDIT & GET AHEAD?
In her extraordinary international bestseller, You Just Don't Understand, Deborah Tannen transformed forever the way we look at intimate relationships between women and men. Now she turns her keen ear and observant eye toward the workplace--where the ways in which men and women communicate can determine who gets heard, who gets ahead, and what gets done.
An instant classic, Talking From 9 to 5 brilliantly explains women's and men's conversational rituals--and the language barriers we unintentionally erect in the business world. It is a unique and invaluable guide to recognizing the verbal power games and miscommunications that cause good work to be underappreciated or go unnoticed--an essential tool for promoting more positive and productive professional relationships among men and women.
Customer Reviews:
Learn how to get along........2007-02-28
This book provides a great information on how to get a long with others in the work places men or women, this book will give you skills needed for teamwork and a better working place enviornment.
A Must Read for Every Working Woman.......2007-01-02
I wish I would have read this book 20 years ago. It was an eye-opening experience. As a female executive working in a male-dominated profession, this book shed new light on interactions I've had with male colleages, bosses and employees where I felt something had been "lost in translation" but couldn't put my finger on why. Put another way, this book teaches you the other gender's "secret language."
In a dream world, this would be mandatory reading for all men in the workplace. Males who are not aware of these communication differences are likely not hiring or promoting talented female employees because they misconstrue their politeness for passiveness, or their humble remarks (or even self-degrading remarks) for lack of confidence, etc.
As a working woman, reading this book gave me an advantage. After reading it, I find myself using a different communication style now with males at work than I do with females at work. At least now I am aware of how the "female" communication style I naturally use is probably being heard by my male superiors. Likewise, as a boss I've put this book, along with "Who Moved My Cheese?", on the reading list for new hires.
Substantively, I felt the book could have used some major editing starting about half-way through where it became a bit tedious. But it's worth the read for the important lessons learned.
Lastly, others have criticized this book for not offering solutions to the problem. The solution is awareness. If both genders are aware of these communication differences, the problem is virtually eliminated.
interesting, however not useful.......2005-03-01
I listened to the audio book version of this book. At first, it seemed quite refreshing to know men and women were so different that you could explain in your work environment why people behaved like that. However, it just didn't give any solution and keep saying it over and over again in this book can bore anyone.
This book is more like a psychology paper rather than a practical handbook. The person who performed the book makes it more disturbing.
In one word, from this book, you will understand that people are so different that you can't expect others will think like you. Men are more hierachical and women are nice and think all men are equal. My understanding is that even if it is like this, you can only be yourself.
Interesting, but does not reflect all realities.......2004-11-21
The science of psycholinguistics is one of the hardest to write in, from what I see. For one, it's necessary to keep in mind that what may be the norm in a certain place for a certain time is not, de facto, what may apply to other places and periods. Also, the cultural influences on language happen to change fast, and the books that were relevant and up-to-date just a few years ago seem disappointingly irrelevant today.
Writing for a journal, where your research is given a proper time and place frame, is very different from writing popular versions made for the public at large. I recommend reading articles (Dr. Tannen has several that are excellent reads, among them _Gender in research on language - Researching gender-related patterns in classroom discourse_ Tesol Quarterly 30 (2): 341-344, from 1996) rather than books if you are truly interested in this topic.
As it is, and in spite of the good writing style, the book has far too many generalizations that do not apply to all places, nor do they apply to current times. I recommend "I Only Say This Because I Love You" instead, or even better, her articles.
A disappointment but still relevant book.......2004-06-08
I have read Deborah Tannen's first 2 books and I found them groudbreaking and very informative. This book however seems to be too much of a rehash of her first 2 books with a little bit of business communication stuck in the middle. I was disappointed by the book and believe there are better books out there than this one.
Book Description
"I'm delighted to see the updated version of
Women and Men in Management. This comprehensive volume is an outstanding resource for students, scholars, and professionals. Powell and Graves have done a great job updating the research literature and making it relevant with contemporary stories and examples. I particularly value the fact that the arguments are grounded in rigorous empirical research, while at the same time the writing is accessible to a wide audience. What a difference from the many sensation-seekers who inflame issues or exaggerate the differences between women and men in their quests for fame!"
--Alison M. Konrad, Fox School of Business and Management, Temple University
Around the world, women comprise a greater proportion of both workers and managers than ever before. However, women continue to be excluded from top management positions, segregated into low-paying occupations, and paid less for the same work as men.
Why does biological sex continue to have such a powerful effect in the workplace? Is it only a matter of time before individuals' work experiences are unaffected by their sex?
Women and Men in Management, Third Edition answers these questions and more. It provides a comprehensive review of the literature on gender and organizations. To reflect the explosion of research during the 10 years since the second edition, the book includes references to over 900 sources, of which over 80% are new to this edition. The book covers a unique and wide range of topics, including employment decisions, work teams, leadership, sexual harassment, workplace romance, career development, the glass ceiling, work and family, and strategies for promoting an organizational culture of nondiscrimination, diversity, and inclusion. It offers concrete recommendations that individuals and organizations may implement to ensure that all people have fulfilling and productive careers, regardless of their biological sex.
New to This Edition:
* Focus on "where we are now"
* Expanded coverage of topics that have received increased attention in recent years, including entrepreneurship, the glass ceiling, work and family, work teams, global leaders, career development, and employment decisions
* Strategies for promoting a culture of nondiscrimination, diversity, and inclusion
* An analysis of gender incorporates theories and research on the intersection of gender and other identities (race, ethnicity, age, nationality, and sexual orientation)
* An international focus through references to research studies and statistics from around the world
* Changes in the writing style and greater use of corporate examples have made this edition more accessible to a wider audience
Customer Reviews:
Women in Management.......2005-09-27
I am using this as a textbook for a class and it is very easy to read. It is filled with a great deal of helpful information regarding women climbing the coporate ladder.
Book Description
Bestselling author John T. Molloy delivers a groundbreaking book based on scientific research that shows women how they can improve their chances of getting married. John T. Molloy's research has helped women get ahead in the corporate world for years. In fact, his methods have worked so well that many women began asking how to apply these same techniques to get ahead in their personal lives-specifically to find and marry Mr.Right. This book is the result of over 2000 interviews with married couples and over 1,800 unmarried men and women. Molloy's remarkable study reveals:- exactly what women need to do to make their boyfriends pop the question - the top signs a relationship is bound for the altar-or bound for disaster - how to identify which men are the 'marrying kind' and which definitely are not - and much more. WHY MEN MARRY SOME WOMEN AND NOT OTHERS will turn frustrated bachelorettes everywhere into blushing brides!
Customer Reviews:
This book is RIGHT. I'm sure it works. .......2007-01-03
I bought this book, determined to follow the advice and get my own husband. As I read it though, I realized that I didn't want a husband bad enough to do the simple, normal things required to get one. I follow the recipe for staying single, almost to the letter. That's why I have been single from the time I was 18 until now and I am 53, almost 54. You get that book and then after you read it, either do what it says to do and get married, or keep on doing what you're doing now and quit griping cause you're single - just like I had to.
An old ex friend of mine followed the advice without fail. She was married within one year. Two years later, they're still sparkling with pleasure in their relationship. :))
I am AMAZED at the negative feedback. They're shooting the messenger because they don't like the message. Their feedback tells a lot more about them, than it does about the book.
Good Book.......2006-11-30
I thought this book was really good. It puts a lot into perspective for single women in their late 20's and early 30's who truly want to get married. I do NOT think this book is for the ones who want to RE-marry. I'm sure finding "another" husband is a little different the second time around because you're divorced, not "never married." The book helped me identify a string of men who I have dated in the past and helped me to understand the stringers, etc. I think the stages of a relationship is very important as well. It provides a blue print for relationships. I do believe that women who have a nice appearance and are attractive do have better luck because they have a wider pool of potentials. I also believe that you have to be committed to the idea and really put yourself in a place to meet eligible men. I also think this book provides reasons that most men do not reveal. As in "why didn't they call?" Most women wonder why and begin calling the guy and making fools of themselves as opposed to chalking it up as "you didn't live up to his expectations." And there's nothing wrong with that because women do it all of the time. It's about reaching mutual expectations.
I'm 31, successful, highly educated, beautiful (or so I'm constantly told) and have finally decided and committed to the idea that I want to get married. Based on the books advice, I have identified some potentials and discarded the rest (the ones I would have normally kept) and I will let you know how it goes.
Statistically Speaking.......2006-09-25
John Malloy teaches women how to find the right man using valid stats and information. A very good tool, not that much fun to read, however.
Catering to the Man?.......2006-07-28
I found this book a bit old-fashioned. I just turned 40, was married once, and have been in the dating scene for 5 yrs now-- still single with no long-term (more than a year) dating companion. However I'm discouraged that if one of the only ways a single over 40 woman has a chance of finding a mate is being THIN, then I probably dont want to get married ANYWAY. (I'm still attractive, but on the plumper side- 5'10, 219) I want to find a book, instead that focuses on how to help "older" women find love by loving themselves and focusing on their INNER beauty. Look at all those gorgeous BBW's and BBW dating sites out there. The movement is growing because so many more Americans are having problems. There are men who will love you for who you are-- if not, then someone needs to work on re-socializing them in the early stages to assure better partnerships for everyone in the future. Sorry, but after 40, we women start to fade a bit...its GREAT to stay as healthy as possible, but this book is unrealstic.
Read it, understand it and then judge it.......2006-06-08
It seems nobody has reviewed this book for a couple of years with a basic understanding of what it's about.
It's a guide to help get a man to marry you. It's based on research of the "market research" variety, which is good enough for selling Coke and Ford and should work for selling relationships (which most people want more than they want a car - most people seem to want cars to get a relationship). It's written in an informative but light-hearted way.
A lot of people in these reviews don't like the book (some who've only read a few pages). My contributions to the war:
Firstly, the book is for women who want to get married - if you don't want to get married (or at least not any time in the next 5 years) don't read it.
Second - it's qualitative research. That means you don't need big numbers you just need the right people - and he has both the right people and the numbers.
Third - weight takes up less than 1 of the 200 pages. Another is dedicated to why 20% of never-married women in their 40s would do it the same all over again. There's actually more space spent on how to maximise your chances with good-looking men than there is on weight. And that doesn't include looking good yourself.
Is the advice obvious? Well, a lot of it is straightforward. But some isn't. The reviewer who said they needed to be 26 before getting married missed the point - the majority of men need to be that age (or older if they've been to college) before they seriously think about marriage. Do their spouses? No - so if you're a 20-year-old-woman planning on finding a spouse not a boyfriend, check out the 25+ crew.
And to those good-looking women who thought the book had nothing to say to them - please read the other 199 pages. To the plump, sassy crowd - please read the other 199 pages. The biggest drawcard isn't looks.
In summary - it's good advice with sound research behind it. It's not for everyone 'cause not everyone wants to get married in the near future. But if that's you, you probably couldn't do better than this as a guide to hooking him.
Average customer rating:
- A must-read for women entering the workfield!
- How Men Think
- True and Helpful Today
- Generally useful but slightly out of date
- Become Fluent in "Guy"
|
How Men Think
Adrienne Mendell
Manufacturer: Ballantine Books
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Hardball for Women: Rev. Ed.
ASIN: 0449909786
Release Date: 1996-04-16 |
Book Description
"An interesting tool for working with gender differences."
--John Gray
Author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
Men at work do it all the time: They brag, cover up their mistakes, pretend to know what they don't, start fights. And they still get ahead! Why? As psychologist Adrienne Mendell learned when she interviewed one-hundred male executives, the traits that women spend their entire lives erasing from their personalities are actually the qualities that men value in the world of work. And since men are still in the power positions, if you don't play it their way, you don't play at all.
Based on Mendell's interviews and her experience of counseling hundreds of frustrated career women, How Men Think identifies the seven rules that men learned by playing sports as children--games that excluded girls. These rules may seem simple on the surface, but understanding them as men do is anything but easy. You may have fallen into many of these traps yourself:
* You're mad because you want your male boss to let you control your projects. But you've got to take control--that's the only way you'll get it.
* You're steamed because a male colleague consistently takes credit for your work. Do you make a point of touting your accomplishments?
* When you make a mistake you apologize. But the man you apologize to doesn't think you're polite--he thinks you're admitting incompetence.
* A fight with a male colleague leaves you shaken. But the men in your office shout at each other for an hour and then go out for a beer.
These are the times that try women's souls! The strategies, insights, and eye-opening advice in How Men Think will help you get along better with the boys and propel you to the top where you belong.
"The more women have opportunities to play sports the more proficient they will become in competing in this men's world of 'unwritten rules.' To bridge the gap, Mendell's book, How Men Think, is a necessary guide for women working with men."
--Diane Everett, Ph.D.
Executive Director
National Association for Girls and Women in Sport
Customer Reviews:
A must-read for women entering the workfield!.......2007-10-19
I wish this book had been around when I joined the workforce in the late 80's, because I work in a mostly-male field and for years I was "the only one" everywhere I worked. Having been a tomboy when I was a child made some of the aspects of working in my field(civil engineering/construction)easier for me, but I still struggled with some of the other aspects, like fear of making mistakes and conflict. Through the school of "on the job training" I figured out a lot of the information presented in the book, but it was sometimes a very painful process. When I read the book, it verified for me that a lot of what I had figured out on my own over a period of 10 years was on the mark. If I had had this book when I started working, I believe I would have handled certain issues in the workplace differently. Although some of the information in the book is now somewhat dated, it is still a good book to read before you start your first job, because you will always be competing with someone in the workforce and the book offers strategies for successful habits.
How Men Think.......2007-01-10
Perfect insight for women in the business world. This book helps level the playing field. A must read for any woman trying to climb the corporate ladder.
True and Helpful Today.......2005-05-27
We could debate about the degree to which Ms. Mendell writes about is relevant today, 10 years after the book's publication. I found everything she said was true. Nothing she wrote was ridiculous or exaggerated. She gives plenty of real examples to make her points, plus the examples of situations and suggested responses are from both Men and Women. My own life experience in the Technology field confirms the reality of what she has to say. I can give examples from my own life that parallel the samples in the book. And I'm still in the 1st half of my work career.
I liked that the suggested behavior changes for Women don't include turning themselves into some weird version of men. Instead Ms. Mendell suggests using humor as much as possible to keep your poise. The point is more to put the person on notice that you are on to their attempts to "put you in your place" and you will act accordingly. To dismiss the book as being "out of date" or "true 20-25 years ago" is to your disadvantage.
Generally useful but slightly out of date.......2003-11-02
Psychologist Mendell does a credible job in emphasizing the differences between how men interact with each other and how women interact. Her basic premise is that men view everything as a game, with set rules, with winners and losers, but do not take things personally. Women, on the other hand, are more interested in relationship building and concerned about other people's feelings rather than the scorecard. Since business is usually run by men, in order to succeed you must play by men's rules. Based on my observations over 25 years, I'd say that her theory was definitely true 20-25 years ago, when men were mostly in charge in the workplace, and the women were mostly secretaries and clerks. Back then, men did not even fill out their own timecards, but had their secretaries do it. Secretaries answered phone calls from the men's wives, and filled out grocery lists for them. The workplace was definitely more military like, with a lot of retired military men up the ranks. Women were definitely outside the norm, and a smart woman engineer was looked on with much suspicion and ridicule. However as technology advanced, voice mail and word processing systems took over the roles of secretaries, and men had to actually learn to type (gasp), and women became more confident and moved up the ranks, the business culture has changed to be more collaborative, emphasizing teamwork, interpersonal relationships, 360 degree assessments, and cross-functional horizontal teaming relationships. Suddenly, relationships mattered, whether between supplier and customer, employee and manager, engineering and marketing. Even the executives want to seem approachable, friendly and caring. So I don't see as much the harrassment of women, putdowns, feminizing, scare tactics and hostility as I did 20 years ago. Are the rules still tilted towards men's style? Yes, but not as much as Mendell suggests. Today, a lot of the collaborative behavior attributed to women is valued in the organization. While it is true that men still hold most of the top positions, and take most of the credit, the types of men that excel are not the old-line militaristic linebacker types, but ones that have figured out how to be diplomatic, concerned, and effective without resorting to caveman techniques.
Become Fluent in "Guy".......2000-11-05
Unless you already are more successful than you ever wanted or dreamed of being, this is a MUST book for any woman, whether rookie or veteran, whose business life involves regular interaction with men. As a woman who believes herself to be relatively fluent in "guy", I found this book to be extremely helpful in confirming many of my hunches about the "appropriate" behavior in particular work situations and explaining other reactions and actions of my male colleagues and opponents that I sometimes found puzzling before. Once you understand the WHY behind what men do, responding to it and mirroring it become much easier which in turn uncomplicates my life. After reading this book and implementing what I learned in the next relevant work decision (which meant acting somewhat different than I would have previously), I was able to finally take control rather quietly over a relationship with a male colleague that had been a source of friction and general unpleasantness for some time and direct it into a more productive path for both of us.
Book Description
Women in positions of leadership in our society are often forced to choose between professional and personal relationships. Some men are intimidated or affronted by these women's power and accomplishments, while leading women can themselves show poor discernment, choosing male partners who insist on dominating and controlling their relationships. Author Barbara Wright Abernathy says that a new understanding of gender is the answer. Stepping away from patriarchal Old World Conventions, she draws on Native American traditions for her exciting premise: four out of five women are Earth Mothers--nurturing and others-oriented--while the remaining fifth is a Star Woman whose nature is to lead and inspire. Both types of women are valid, but neither will have happy romances or relationships if they do not find the right kind of men to compliment their distinctly different personalities and needs. "Venus On Top" will help each woman discover her own inner Earth Mother or Star Woman, teaching her how to discern, attract and keep the man who is right for her.
Customer Reviews:
New Age Dominance?.......2007-01-11
This book is interesting. The author's personal tale of her life journey is much more fascinanting than the description of the different types of women and how this affects their abilities to lead those around them. I did find some useful ideas; however there is a chapter in the book about the men's perspective that does not give the first person account but rather a generalization. I would have preferred to read what drew a man to the powerful woman (or women) in his life. Maybe the author, Barbara Wright Abernathy, will one day write a follow-up......
For those of us who march to the beat of a different drummer.........2006-06-06
This book was given to me as a gift. A male friend had heard Barbara Wright Abernathy at a speaking engagement and told me "She says the same things you've been thinking". With the book in hand I also took the time to visit the authors website.
Have you ever heard someone say "She wears the pants in that family", or "She's one bossy/powerful/in control woman"? Well, that is the type of woman this book was written for. Barbara had failed relationships and didn't know why. This book details her experience and what she and her husband, Stephen, learned together. Relationships like this aren't for everyone, but there are a lot of us who needed someone to put the idea into writing.
No one talks about power levels between partners. Some partners argue all the time about finances, even though one is clearly more adept at managing money than the other. With help from this book, I can see where it's possible to have a relationship with clearly defined roles. Perhaps I get an extra vote when we're tied on a decision. Or he agrees to always check the 'Honey-Do-List' first thing on a Saturday morning. If you're a strong woman, it helps you figure out how you and your partner can simply clearly define your roles in the relationship.
It's been my experience that men love to please their women. This book just brings certain aspects to light and helps women to see and acknowledge the power we DO have..and how to use it in a healthy way for creating happiness in our relationship.
This book isn't about living with a Female Dominatrix or involving heavy 'kink' into your home life. If that's your choice, fine. But this book is more for the average folks - of which I am one - who would simply like to have their relationship be closer and more loving.
There are more of us powerful women out here than you would think! This book gives me food for thought .. and action. Thanks Barbara and Stephen!
Philosophical Ramblings of a Rodent-brained Moron .......2005-12-20
[...]
So let's get this straight. Either a man dominantes a woman and basically has her serving him at home or he then essentially runs a buisness and is the work horse while his "working" wife "runs" the buisness but proves more a show horse than anything else and then the man suddenly swtiches over from being "cooperative" (i.e. submissive) to running off with what Mitchell calls a submissive wife.
Yeah this makes lots of sense. A woman is either a bossy twit that doesn't see it coming or a guy is a boorish brute or a milquetoast.
Please this book is not a serious academic or analytical take on a supposed natural inclination of leadership--regardless of gender. Rather it is clearly a fantasia catering to the female domination fetish. Any author or idiotic reviewer with such a black and white view of human interaction is fundamentally jaded, narrow-minded, and nearsighted.
Mitchell, for example, sounds like a man with much want to have the opportunity to run off with any woman and most likely has had little interaction with the opposite sex to know anything of value to pass along to a reader.
The bottom line is that leaders are more made than born. There are an endless supply of people with raw talent. The world is overflowing with them. What it lacks is those with the discipline and not just the "drive," which is so often chimed as a great attribute. The dedication to grooming oneself and staying focus on long-term goals that can literally take many years to attain is a requirement few with all the talent in the world are ready to undertake.
In our me-me, show-me-the-results-right-now demanding, impatient, immediacy, few men--or women--have what it takes to be a leader. Men have suffered from this for decades, namely believing that they can do anything simply because they think it. It takes work though more than anything to make it. Women today, however, have caught up with male ego and vanity in that now women genuinely beleive this is "their time" and they have an inherent right to claim the future without actually doing what is required to truly make it and have earned that right. Birth and gender and all that glorious talent alone do not make it in the world.
This book only caters to the the insecure and delussional.
Serious Advice for Dominant Women Seeking Cooperative Men.......2005-04-18
In the franchising business, franchisors have long known to look for husband-and-wife teams where the wife runs the marriage and the business . . . and keeps the books while the man follows her orders ungrudgingly until he drops from fatigue. If you recruit dominant males instead, the wife stays at home . . . and you get only one person working on the business rather than two. The only downside to these hard-working couples is that when the men hit their 50s, they often run off with a submissive female employee and stop working on the business. Smart franchisors help these couples sell their franchise businesses at that point to pay for the divorce settlement.
What's that story got to do with Venus on Top? More than you would expect. Many women are born to lead in their work, their businesses and in their marriages. Pair those women with men who want to lead in the same ways . . . and you have one leader too many. Pair them with a man who wants to follow and please them, and you can have a recipe for more successful marriages.
I decided to read this book to gain more perspective on my great grandparents and parents . . . where in both generations the women led. The men followed silently in their wake . . . but not always happily. This book echoed one phrase the males all learned early in our family, "When the women are happy, the men are happy."
Ms. Abernathy describes her experiences with three failed marriages and her conclusions about how women who want to lead at work and at home can find compatible males who will enjoy that kind of relationship. She also provides advice for those who are willing to be a woman who follows her husband's lead . . . but the primary value of this book comes for those who want to know how to get what they want . . . and know what that is.
Much of the book is based on Jung, studies of ancient goddess-based religions, positive thinking and self-help methods. If you are familiar with those subjects, you won't find anything new in those sections. If you would like to learn a little in those areas, the material is accessible.
Most women I know would call this a five-star book just for chapter 10, Training Your Man or Why Real Women Don't Do Housework. That section provides the best explanation I've ever seen of how to help men take on household chores in ways that will be pleasing to women. The essence of the advice is to provide hands-on demonstrations, answer questions, observe, correct and provide encouragement. Now, was that so hard? Men can learn. Every household chore that I do now was learned through that process.
The book veers off in a few places that can be misunderstood by being too literal about what she says. Ms. Abernathy, like a large percentage of women, has a thing about men leaving the toilet seat up. She does go on in addressing that problem which really bugs her. This is a litmus test of a man's devotion to her. She also makes it sound like giving or withholding sexual favors in some random fashion is great for a marriage. On closer reading, I think her message is a little different from her words. The real message, I think, is to create a positive relationship through personal warmth and mutual sexual gratification that relies as much on flirting and surprise as it does on accommodating men's desire for sex.
Overall, I found the tone of the book to be refreshing coming from a woman in her 50s. If something's important to a woman in a relationship . . . why shouldn't she be on top (which Ms. Abernathy means both literally and psychologically) in the relationship?
I suspect that many younger women will wonder what all the fuss is about.
Ms. Abernathy describes her philosophy with enthusiasm. I suspect she would be an entertaining speaker on this subject.
A Kinder, Gentler, Saner Approach to Wife-led Marriages.......2005-04-03
Review:
Venus On Top is an easy and provocative read offering lots of insight and good advice from an author whom adversity has clearly taught some of life's most important lessons. A quick trip through history shows us that Goddesses ruled until male dominated empires and organizations usurped their power and stole their crowns. While men eventually gave up their swords for a seat in the Senate, men continued to dictate policy and procedure with little consideration for the "weaker sex" - father knows best, after all. Organized religion seems to appear as a major culprit in any historical account of the suppression of women's rights and the author builds a case to substantiate that point of view. While this historical section appears to have been carefully researched and might be of interest to those scholarly types who appreciate a sense of the past, I had a tendency to scan this material eager to get back up to date.
Typically, Web sites promoting relationships where the female is the dominant mate or partner rely more heavily on graphic examples of how a man's constant craving for sex can be used to a woman's advantage. When you consider that men seeking fulfillment of their submissive desires generally read these books and sites, the style and content is most appropriate for the audience. However, Venus On Top takes a kinder, gentler, saner approach, which not only reflects the author's point of view, but also seems more in keeping for a book designed to reach a female audience. This book represents a more palatable way to introduce a reluctant mate or partner to the concept of a "Wife-led" marriage or Female-led romantic relationship. However, while I found the author's account of this lifestyle to be both fascinating and informative, what I personally found most insightful was her account of the personal events that led her to where she is today.
After forty-seven years, which included three divorces and two bankruptcies, she found something that many of us (male and female) continue to seek - a way to break a cycle of self-destruction by following a path of positive enlightenment. To me, that insight is worth the price of admission. The clarity provided left me feeling much more optimistic and hopeful that there is a reward at the end of the rainbow, if we're willing take the time and make the effort to accept responsibility for our own happiness; by so doing, we control our destiny.
I highly recommend this book. It contains a lot of good advice and information. Whether you are dominant or submissive, male or female, straight or a little bit Rock `n' Roll, Venus On Top appeals to a wide audience on many different levels.
Amazon.com
The fact that there are few women occupying top-level positions in corporate America has, for a long time, been blamed on a ubiquitous "glass ceiling." But according to Gail Evans, this is a tired myth implying a woman is a "person-who's-done-to instead of a person-who's-doing." In Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman, CNN's ebullient--and successful--executive vice president puts forth a new thesis: women are not in star positions because they haven't yet learned how to play the game.
The game of business is played on a field where males have been comfortable since they were very young, says Evans. It's a game where winning is the obvious (and only) objective and where aggression, self-promotion, a tough skin, and an effective display of power are the signs of a winner. Women, on the other hand, enter the game disadvantaged, having been taught to be cooperative rather than competitive, to enjoy the process rather than simply the result, and to seek approval rather than assume success. In her entertaining, informative, and practical book, Evans sets out to level the playing field by providing instructions on how men play and by teaching women to play smarter and win on their own terms. In one section, where she offers such advice as "Toot Your Own Horn," "Accept Uncertainty," and "Be an Imposter," Evans presents a common business scenario. She shows the typical male and female responses to it, analyzes the problem with the woman's reaction, and offers advice on what to do differently. Writing in light, accessible prose, Evans supports her observations with both personal and professional anecdotes and covers the gamut of women's experiences on the corporate path. Evans's message is inspiring: women can learn to play the game as well as any man and bring with them a unique set of skills and experiences.
It's impossible to ignore a woman who has reached the top of her profession in a tough business and is still prepared to claim that "everything I ever needed to know about business I learned driving the car pool." --S. Ketchum
Book Description
Women make up almost half of today's labor force, but in corporate America they don't share half of the power. Only four of the Fortune 500 company CEOs are women, and it's only been in the last few years that even half of the Fortune 500 companies have more than one female officer.
A major reason for this? Most women were never taught how to play the game of business.
Throughout her career in the supercompetitive, male-dominated media industry, Gail Evans, one of the country's most powerful executives, has met innumerable women who tell her that they feel lost in the workplace, almost as if they were playing a game without knowing the directions.
She tells them that's exactly the case: Business is indeed a game, and like any game, there are rules to playing well. For the most part, Gail has discovered, women don't know them.
Men know these rules because they wrote them, but women often feel shut out of the process because they don't know when to speak up, when to ask for responsibility, what to say at an interview, and a lot of other key moves that can make or break a career.
Now, in her book
Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman, Gail Evans reveals the secrets to the playbook of success and teaches women at all levels of the organization--from assistant to vice president--how to play the game of business to their advantage.
Sharing with humor and candor her years of lessons from corporate life, Gail Evans gives readers practical tools for making the right decisions at work. Among the rules you will learn are:
• How to Keep Score at Work
• When to Take a Risk
• How to Deal with the Imposter Syndrome
• Ten Vocabulary Words That Mean Different Things to Men and Women
• Why Men Can be Ugly, and You Can't
• When to Quit Your Job
Evans is not saying that every woman has to play exactly by men's rules--not at all. Women bring many inherent traits to the workplace that can provide them with a potential advantage over men, such as a woman's ability to form relationships, or her intuition. But women do need to know the basic rules so that they can understand the full consequences of their every action and how it makes an impact on their career.
An honest and practical handbook that reveals important insights into relationships between men and women and work,
Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman, is a must-read for every woman who wants to leverage her power in the workplace.
Customer Reviews:
THE BEST book on Success in the business arena for Women!.......2007-04-21
I love this book! Easy to read. Easy to understand. Uses real examples of situations and shows you your choice for action. Basic Premise is *Here is the situation* & here are your choices as to how to handle it* ~Make your own decision as to how you want to do it, just be aware of your choices and their implications. I will read this one again!!
Gail Evans is my new hero!.......2007-03-19
The knowledge that men and women function differently isn't new and there are plenty of books on the topic already. Most of the books I've read on the subject do a great job of identifying our differences and how men and women communicate or socialise but aren't so good at discussing anything real about how we behave in the workplace. Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman is all about how we work, how we are perceived and motivating factors for success.
Gail Evans is my new hero on the topic of career success for women. She writes from her own experience with real life anecdotes from other men and women in management roles. Her style is very easy to read, pleasantly candid, and often humourous which really is refreshing for this type of book. I find a lot of books on gender relations to be overly serious and a bit too textbook for my taste. Evans also counsels women to be themselves and not try to be men but to retain uniquely female qualities such as intuition and emotional intelligence, something that can be lacking from women working at executive level these days.
This book is an excellent resource for women in business at any level but particularly useful for new grads or women working in entry level roles who don't have a great deal of experience with the politics and strategy of dealing with men in management roles. This would also be an extremely valuable read for any men working in a classic male dominated heirarchic management structure with a predominantly female workforce (i.e. health, education).
My wife loved it........2007-02-15
I bought this for my wife who works in a male dominated field. She loved this book and she talks about it all the time. I'm shocked she read it! Now I'm looking for my chance to sneak a read of it when she wont notice it missing from her book shelf. Trust me, if MY wife read it and liked it, it must be one damn good book. Maybe I'll buy my own copy and read it - I think I will. Second review to follow...
Also applies to women who own a business or are self-employed.......2006-12-31
Gail Evans provides very practical advice in a very matter of fact way. As a consultant and trainer for Woman Owned Businesses I always look at women's business books from the woman-owned angle. Although the book is written primarily for women that are employees, almost everything in it is applicable to women who own businesses or are self-employed. One of the best parts of the book is the guidance on "getting picked for the Team." The "rules" in this section definantly apply to women business owners in negotiation and especially in marketing their products and services. There are several places in the book where Ms Evans points out that women don't ask, often waiting to be asked. This approach will not work if a woman business owner is seeking financing or selling her products/services. The advice in this section could help make a huge difference for women business owners. The very best advice in the book is about how women can use their relationship orientation and skills wisely and to advantage; women business owners can apply this to running and marketing their business. One other very good section is the explanation about "Yes is Yes." Unfortunately, we women don't always accept a Yes immediately, but continue explaining, seeking reassurance or justifying. I would recommend this book to any of my Woman Owned Business clients and workshop attendees.
Common Sense Reminders.......2006-10-23
Frankly, reading the comments here was almost as much fun as reading the book. A couple of really negative reviews from guys who sound terribly bitter, one bad review from someone who thought she didn't know what she was talking about because he/she disagreed with a particular television report that she had a hand in producting, one negative comment because ... she had gotten too many positive comments before and just needed to be knocked down a notch? Not entirely sure if I got the gist of that one. A couple of middling to negative reviews from people who thought she was dead wrong. And then the majority of positive reviews who seem to think she brought some of these rules down after a chat with a burning bush.
Here's the thing - there are some tidbits of insight in here, but most of it is just common sense. Unfortunately, it's common sense that is easy to forget when you're caught up in the politics of an office. Sometimes the best lessons are the short reminders to get back to basics, and this book certainly does that.
There's nothing BAD in this book - all she says is that if you want to get ahead in a man's world, you at least have to know the rules. You aren't obligated to play by them, but don't get all testy when you don't get what you want. In fact, you don't even have to play at all. But why not use your knowledge of the game to get ahead? Why not take the path of least resistance?
Amazon.com
In The New Pioneers, Thomas Petzinger brings alive the people who are leading a revolution in American business. Petzinger contends that fundamental changes in the U.S. economy are being spurred by technology that obliterates old boundaries as well as new freedoms in the workplace and the efforts of entrepreneurs with a zeal for innovation and customer service. "We can't yet see it everywhere, but a great awakening is now under way in business," he writes.
A columnist for The Wall Street Journal, Petzinger spent three years traveling across America to interview management gurus and businesspeople at the forefront of this economic seachange. He discovered that large and small businesses alike are succeeding by abandoning the old command-and-control ethos. In today's best-run companies, he notes, employees are getting the leeway to manage themselves. Petzinger profiles people as diverse as Pete and Laura Wakeman of Dillon, Montana, who built the Great Harvest Bakery chain by making their company more of a community than a corporation; Nick Gleason, a Harvard Business School graduate who eschewed a big salary to launch an Internet design company in a Boston ghetto; and Richard Knowles, who turned around a struggling West Virginia chemical plant for the Dupont Corporation. Provocative and well written, The New Pioneers is for top managers, regular working people, and anyone who loves a good business yarn. --Dan Ring
Book Description
The New Pioneers introduces the entrepreneurs who are revolutionizing the way America does business -- from bankers to bakers, weavers to Web designers, manufacturers to medical researchers. In dozens of entertaining case histories and personal profiles, Thomas Petzinger shows that old-fashioned corporations are losing out to innovators engaged in creating collaborative workplaces, a value-added marketplace, and an economy overflowing with opportunity. Through compelling storytelling and incisive analysis, he illuminates how and why:
- Technology is replacing economies of scale with economies of scope and locality
- Today's entrepreneurs are redefining the meaning of "niche"
- Radical compensation and motivation strategies are establishing a new kind of workforce
- The family firm can serve as a model for all business
- The new business ethos signals a return to fundamental values
Customer Reviews:
Thought Provoking - Insightful - But does not stick. .......2007-07-22
The late 1990's were hit by a surge of entrepreneurialism in the United States. This was entrepreneurial drive was fueled by technology, the internet, a booming economy and "can do" attitude that emerged among US citizens. The US are still benefiting from this entrepreneurial boom, in spite of the stock market crash in 2000, over 20 million jobs have been created in entrepreneurial organisations in the US in the past 15 years.
In the late 1990's Tomas Petzinger, a Wall Street Journal columnist, set out to uncover the motivation and drivers of the individuals that were establishing exciting new businesses. He uncovers a series of engaging stories about courageous and pioneering entrepreneurs who transformed their personal situations by creating intriguing new jobs and enterprises to meet the needs of the new economy.
These are real stories of real people overcoming real challenges to create real opportunities. These stories generate a ray of hope & inspiration for South Africans wishing to establish an entrepreneurial venture to benefit from the economic boom that this country is experiencing. The stories in the book do not provide a text book model for exactly how things should be done but they are a source of insightful ideas and engaging metaphors to inspire and guide would be entrepreneurs. The stories in this book are also not the common stories that we have heard time and time again. Petzinger has purposefully ignored the Starbucks, Google, Amazon.com and eBay stories so that he could uncover tales of individuals who have done extraordinary things outside of the limelight.
Petzinger illustrates how technology creates new opportunities for start-up niche players to establish profitable businesses. He explores what motivates and drives generation X entrepreneurs and he examines how a new venture with social meaning brings purpose and profit. Although the book was written seven years ago, it can still serve as a guiding light and foundation for inspiration, especially for South Africans wishing to pioneer new ways of doing things to make a meaningful impact in this country and abroad.
internet economy crud. Some non-internet stuff.......2001-12-27
Mediocre at best. Mostly "New economy" crud. Good stuff about real entrepreneurs who are not at all in high-tech or internet spaces, but that stuff is just not news.
"The Arrow of Evolution....".......2000-05-23
In Chapter 10 of Leading Change, James O'Toole discusses Robert Owen (1771-1858) whom he characterizes as "the Thomas Edison of social invention. He was the first to devise or advocate numerous practices in industrial relations, education, and social policy that are still considered progressive today, more than 130 years after his death." In The New Pioneers, Petzinger focuses on the contemporary world in which a "revolution" is now underway in business, "for the most part invisible in the headlines and the boardrooms, but dizzying in its effect on the front lines." Much of what he discusses is directly relevant to Owen's initiatives. He agrees with Abraham Maslow that "the most valuable one hundred people to a deteriorating society" would be entrepreneurs because "the arrow of evolution flies toward the pioneering."
Over the years, I have learned a great deal from reading Petzinger's column in the Wall Street Journal, "The Front Lines." He is constantly alert to subtle but potentially significant developments within and beyond the ever-changing workplace. The material he shares in this brilliant book is drawn from "the front lines" of companies based in more than 40 cities in 30 states as well as several companies in foreign countries.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who seeks answers to questions such as these:
1. Which "new frontiers" offer the greatest opportunities for institutional growth and human development?
2. Which economies of scale are most relevant to such growth?
3. To optimize development of "human capital" in small-to-midsize organizations, which strategies (eg incentives and rewards) work best?
4. Which of these strategies will also be effective in larger organizations?
5. Amidst turbulent change caused by new technologies, which traditional values will enable any organization to nourish its "human systems"?
To succeed in what he calls "The Age of Adaptation" (the subject of his Introduction), Petzinger asserts that organizations (regardless of size or nature) must cope effectively with certain "new realities" which serve as the subtitles of the book's ten chapters. For example: "Trade and technology are fundamentally human", "Why the new rules favor the small and connected", "The customer is the common denominator", and "Knowledge and self-organization flourish at the edge of chaos." It is important to reiterate that Petzinger's observations and assertions are based on a wealth of real-world experience. He is firmly convinced that "We, our tools, and the businesses by which we accomplish nearly everything are all products of the natural world." Although granting that "Wrong turns and backsliding will occur from time to time", Petzinger is convinced that each new age will produce another generation of "pioneers" who will continue to transform a global marketplace which is rapidly becoming the same workplace for nearly everyone.
Morality Play for Businesses -- Great Small Company Examples.......2000-04-16
Reading The New Pioneers is a pleasant occupation. On theother hand, reviewing this book for people who have not yet read it isa challenging task. This is primarily because the book is written to be read and understood at many different levels.
The simplest and most obvious level is as a series of charming stories in the best humanistic tradition that demonstrate that there is good business in being a good human.
At a deeper level, Mr. Petzinger is also telling us that the economy is changing in a fundamental way because of the experiences of small and middle sized business leaders, such as those cited in the book.
Beyond that, he is suggesting something fundamental about human civilization and its potential to create astonishingly positive results.
At whatever level you consider the book, you will be well rewarded for reading it.
I must admit that it is tempting to ignore the book's shortcomings, but that would shortchange the principles that Mr. Petzinger is exploring...
As heart-warming as this book is, it is a scrapbook rather than a vision for individual entrepreneurs. Its value for entrepreneurs is, nonetheless, quite substantial. The benefit comes from stimulating ideas among readers by showing new business examples that have not been widely published and discussed before. I hope all entrepreneurs will read this book for that important benefit.
A fine effort from a talented journalist! END
Home Run.......2000-02-12
Tom has done a fabulous job with his latest book. It clearly shows how top people get there and make their organizations top performers. The book is chock full of examples that are relevant. The style of writing is, of course, meant for us by being easy-to-read and descriptive. Buy it!
Also recommend a well-receoved book that addresses how managers can be top performers by focusing on bettering themselves, their co-workers, and their organizations. It's called ""The Leader's Guide: 15 Essential Skills."
Book Description
Are your words working for you?
You say something at a meeting and it is ignored; then when someone else says the same thing, everyone embraces it as a marvelous idea. You devote yourself to a project, but don't get credit for the results. You give what you think are clear instructions, but the job is not done, or done wrong. Sometimes it seems you are not being heard, not getting credit for your efforts, not getting ahead as fast as you should.
Now, Deborah Tannen brings to the workplace the same voice, eye, and insight that made That's Not What I Meant! and You Just Don't Understand bestselling classics. In Talking From 9 to 5, she explores the special world of work -- where we spend countless hours with people we may not understand or even like, and where the way we talk determines not only how we get the job done, but how we are evaluated for our efforts. Offering powerful new ways of understanding what happens in the workplace, from the simplest exchanges to the complex contemporary issues of the glass ceiling, Tannen explains a variety of conversational styles and reveals how each of us can develop the flexibility and understanding we need.
Since the publication of You Just Don't Understand, Tannen has been told over and over, "Your book saved my marriage." Talking From 9 to 5 will have the same dramatic impact on those who are struggling with co-workers, jobs, and companies, and will help entire companies as well as individual women and men thrive in a working world made up of increasingly diverse workforces and ever-more competitive markets.
Customer Reviews:
Analyzing the Communication Skills of the Opposite Sex.......2002-02-12
I feel that this book was very informational and useful with many instances in my life. It really gave me an insight to the reasons why people act how they do, and it made me comprehend my boyfriend and friends more. I have misunderstood them many times, and after reading parts of this book, I have realized what went wrong.
Deborah Tannen has effectively shown the differences between the communication styles of men and women. Although it doesn't tell either sex how to better their communication styles to close the gap, the book uses many examples of situations that people have encountered and can relate to which will help them better understand things that have happened in their life. It answers a lot of questions for a lot of people. This book is fairly easy reading, but you have to be mature to understand what is being said. If anyone is having problems with the opposite sex, then I strongly recommend this book.
Yakk..........2000-08-08
First, it would be nice to explain, that this book is targeted to (a) women, (b) women suffering from the lack fo self-confidence, (c) women suffering from the lack of self-confidence and comfortable with blaming men for sexism on a working place. It's just too much time spent on sexes relations instead of real communications problems. Of course, difference of male and female styles of communication is a problem, you have to keep in mind, but this is not the ONLY problem. Reading the review on a boook I expected advice on improving my communication skills, not to hear a bunch of regular feministic stream of accusations of the business world. It's just misleading, useless and very unpleasant. So if you want feminist propaganda, this book is for you, if you really want improve your skills, go somewhere else.
Good explanation of male/female communication differences........1999-10-15
This is a useful, interesting, provocative description of differences between men's and women's speech behaviors. Tannen takes an essentially socio-cultural stance in explaining the reasons for these differences. Not only does she present coherently her ideas, her speech is crisp and animated; thus, it is a delight to listen to her. This audio is an excellent introduction to Tannen's work on this subject. I ask students enrolled in my Gender and Communication course to listen to this edited tape in lieu of purchasing the book, as this proves to be an efficient alternative to reading the entire book. For instructors similarly inclined, I recommend purchasing two or three copies to be placed on reserve in the university library.
The book by Deborah Tannen is enlightening!.......1998-11-19
Not only I did I personally enjoy the content of this book, but I sincerely wanted my boyfriend, co-workers, and family to read it as well. Her insight is easily applied to everyday life and I appreciate her many references demonstrating her research instead of "pop psychology."
Deborah Tannen is not only highly respected by her colleagues in linguistics and communications around the world, but respected by readers everywhere!
Books:
- As the Future Catches You: How Genomics & Other Forces Are Changing Your Life, Work, Health & Wealth
- Becoming a Master Manager: A Competing Values Approach
- Beyond the Numbers: A Reader on Population, Consumption and the Environment
- Budgeting á la Carte: Essential Tools for Harried Business Managers (Finance Fundamentals for Nonfinancial Managers Series)
- Build Your Own Garage: Blueprints and Tools to Unleash Your Company's Hidden Creativity
- Business and Its Environment (5th Edition)
- Carved in Sand: When Attention Fails and Memory Fades in Midlife
- Competitive Advantage of Nations
- Consumed: How Markets Corrupt Children, Infantilize Adults, and Swallow Citizens Whole
- Corporate Warriors (Cornell Studies in Security Affairs)
Books Index
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