Amazon.com
This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to "the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people." He teaches these skills through underlying principles of dealing with people so that they feel important and appreciated. He also emphasizes fundamental techniques for handling people without making them feel manipulated. Carnegie says you can make someone want to do what you want them to by seeing the situation from the other person's point of view and "arousing in the other person an eager want." You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offense or arousing resentment. For instance, "let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers," and "talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person." Carnegie illustrates his points with anecdotes of historical figures, leaders of the business world, and everyday folks. --Joan Price
Book Description
YOU CAN GO AFTER THE JOB YOU WANT...AND GET IT! YOU CAN TAKE THE JOB YOU HAVE...AND IMPROVE IT! YOU CAN TAKE ANY SITUATION YOU'RE IN...AND MAKE IT WORK FOR YOU!
For more than sixty years the rock-solid, time-tested advice in this book has carried thousands of now famous people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives.
Now this previously revised and updated bestseller is available in trade paperback for the first time to help you achieve your maximum potential throughout the next century! Learn:
* THREE FUNDAMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE
* THE SIX WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU
* THE TWELVE WAYS TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING
* THE NINE WAYS TO CHANGE PEOPLE WITHOUT AROUSING RESENTMENT
Customer Reviews:
wonderful.......2007-10-22
I recommend this book, it changes your way of thinking and it has also helped me in my marriage in many ways
Common sense isn't so common.......2007-10-22
This book could be summed up by using the tired cliche; "you catch more bees with honey than vinegar".
Apparently, that train of thought isn't common with some people, thus, even the need for books of this nature. As a refresher on basic people skills which candidly should have been learned as a child this book is outstanding.
However, one must remain cognizant that how one dealt with people 70 years ago is vastly different from today. People are a product of their environment which has changed tremendously over the years, hence people change and how you deal with them should as well.
Nevertheless, most basic people skills still apply, however, they are only equally as affective if all parties involved are playing by the same set of rules laid out in this book.
For example, if you spend the majority of your time seeing things from the other person's point of view and in return they do not take the time to see it from yours, how is that helping you? I see how it helps them, but not so much you.
That is the overall, problem with this book. All parties have to follow this brilliant plan in people skills for it to be "equally" affective which unfortunately, wont happen in most cases.
In conclusion, this book advocates being nice (letting the other person talk, seeing things from their point of view, never telling someone their wrong, etc.) However, to end my review with another cliche:
"nice guys finish last"
A great resource.......2007-10-18
this is a must for anyone interested in social behavior. Or have just ever wander what makes certain people tick.
Still works after 70 Years.......2007-10-17
This has been a standard for 70 years for good reason. It teaches basic interpersonal skills and good manners. It works especially well with introverts that need help with one-on-one relationships.
Its age would seem to be a negative, but it actually works as a positive. It reminds us that good people skills are not a fad; they are timeless and often neglected in today's educational system.
If you interact with people at all, this book is an essential part of your success in your interactions.
Wanna build your network - listen to Carnegie !.......2007-10-14
Winning friends and influencing people is not an easy thing. Are you gregarious? Do you want to be a networking juggernaut? You should listen to what Dale Carnegie says.
"Do you want to get the attention of others? Watch out what actors do in advertisements and movies". This is such a simple technique that we all fail to recognize in our day-to-day life. "Do more listening than talking" - hmm, another simple technique. Carnegie explains how you can win friends and influence people, with a lot of stories.
This book is a must-read for those who want to build their network.
Book Description
The nation's premier communications expert shares his wisdom on how the words we choose can change the course of business, of politics, and of life in this countryIn Words That Work, Luntz offers a behind-the-scenes look at how the tactical use of words and phrases affects what we buy, who we vote for, and even what we believe in. With chapters like "The Ten Rules of Successful Communication" and "The 21 Words and Phrases for the 21st Century," he examines how choosing the right words is essential.Nobody is in a better position to explain than Frank Luntz: He has used his knowledge of words to help more than two dozen Fortune 500 companies grow. He'll tell us why Rupert Murdoch's six-billion-dollar decision to buy DirectTV was smart because satellite was more cutting edge than "digital cable," and why pharmaceutical companies transitioned their message from "treatment" to "prevention" and "wellness."If you ever wanted to learn how to talk your way out of a traffic ticket or talk your way into a raise, this book's for you.
Customer Reviews:
Books That Waste Time.......2007-10-23
Having heard Luntz interviewed on Talk Radio several times, I thought this might be just the book to give me insight into the word smithing that goes on behind the scenes in politics.
Unfortunately, Luntz' writing style is bland, droll, and boring. So much so, that the reader's mind wanders almost immediately.
Perhaps there was an unimaginable recovery after the first forty or so pages, but I find it highly unlikely.
In summation, when I finish a book I deliberately leave it where someone else can find and hopefully enjoy it. With Luntz' book, I threw it in the garbage.
Great Book.......2007-10-07
Frank Luntz does a great job of driving across that it's not what you say, it's what people hear. Although the book had a lot of political references, the lessons to effective language can be applied to any walk of life.
Luntz's "1984".......2007-09-30
If you want to know how you are being manipulated, Frank Luntz will tell you how he does it in his candid book.
Clear. Concise. Comprehensive........2007-09-28
Dr. Luntz illustrates his 10 Rules of Effective Language in the subtitle of his book Words that Work: It's Not What You Say, It's What People Hear. His 10-rule, 10-word system proves the power of language.
Disturbingly accurate examples show the impact and importance of language. What gets wired in us and why? What moves us emotionally? What makes us spend? What connects us? Words are ripples.
Lutz reveals how we get so caught up in words that we fail to communicate. Consider leaders who speak in alphabet soup and spoil our language and understanding.
Like fine embroidery, words follow design; and design is seen differently by everyone with eyes.
Using case studies as examples, Luntz makes points about how passage of time affects words, how disordered words can cause dissension and how new words shade new meanings.
Most of all, he states, what we say is who we are. He's right. Think about it.
Rebecca Jacoby, copywriter
www.afewchosenwords.com
www.beckyjacoby.com
Brevity as an Effective Communication Skill (would that it were!).......2007-09-10
Mr. Luntz sites brevity as an effective communication skill, yet he goes on and on and on with his examples and repeats himself throughout the book.
He uses the book as a vehicle to promote his Republican platforms, which is boring and annoying.
He is a little impressed with himself and is not afraid to share that with the reader. An especially distasteful example of this is his self-serving introduction about performing for Democrats and celebrities at Ariana Huffington's home.
He tries to imitate Steven Levitt's style of writing but he's just not that interesting or cool.
Amazon.com
According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication, communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-lauded Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. There's much more to a solid, "emotionally intelligent" marriage than sharing every feeling and thought, he points out--though most couples therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts.
Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn't know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at work.)
Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve every problem. "Take Allan and Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship." While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that "they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply."
Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. --Erica Jorgensen
Book Description
John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises,
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
Download Description
John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.
Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
"An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent -- and long-lasting -- marriage."
DANIEL GOLEMAN, AUTHOR OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
"Gottman stays refreshingly down to earth, rather than on Mars and Venus."
BILL MARVEL AND GEOFFREY NORMAN, AMERICAN WAY
"Gottman comes to this endeavor with the best of qualifications: he's got the spirit of a scientist and the soul of a romantic."
NEWSWEEK
"Twenty-five years of landmark marital research."
USA TODAY
"Offers something every relationship can benefit from."
SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER
"Astonishing new research!"
WOMAN'S WORLD
Customer Reviews:
A Fantastic Book..........2007-10-19
If I ever get married again I will keep this fantastic book closeby. For the last year I have been traveling to Seattle to train for certification with Jon and Julie Gottman and their staff at The Gottman Institute, and this book is a great introduction to their work and the invaluable research they have done with couples for more than thirty years now. I wish this book and their work were required reading for life. I wish I had known of their work earlier in my life both personally and professionally. This is a book to come back to time and time again. To me it is not only useful for married couples but has such wise tools to learn about for all our relationships. I've read most of his other books and highly recommend them as well, including those on children.
Your marriage doesn't have to be rocky to get value from this book........2007-10-18
This is NOT a self help book. I can tell you that honestly because I don't read self help books. Self help books are generalist pseudo-science made up by so-called motivational gurus like Tony Robbins, Rhonda Byrne (The Secret) and Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup guy). The aforementioned books are mental pablum written by corrupt individuals whose goal is to separate you from your money. They are not experts. Their only accomplishment is to come up with a manipulative technique to sell a new version of snake oil.
If you want to learn more on this subject, read SHAM by Steve Salerno. It isn't a perfect book because he falls down a bit in the proof area, and some of his conclusions are outlandish, but he does give you a lot to think about regarding the self help movement.
John Gottman's book is an educational reference. If you want to be a physicist, you read books by experts in the field of physics. If you want to be a good spouse, you read books on marriage by experts in the field of marriage. It's not self help; it's education.
Make sure you pick your "experts" carefully. John Gray (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus) is NOT an expert. He got is "PhD" from a diploma mill. The man has no accredited higher education at all. His book is pure, made up, stereotypical garbage. He came up with a catchy title, went on Oprah, and made millions because there are a lot of gullible people out there. Don't be one of them.
Gottman, however, really is an expert. He is one of the best in his field and is recognized as such by his peers. His credentials are legitimate and he wrote a very good book. My marriage was good before I read it. My wife brought it home because, as a family doctor, she often talks to her patients about their relationships and this was part of her overall education. I like improving myself, so I read it too and it helped. My marriage wasn't in need of saving, but fine tuning is always a good idea, so I used the techniques and they work. It helped evolve my marriage from good to great.
I can see how it would help save marriages that were really on the rocks, although I don't have the first hand experience in this regard. What Gottman has to say really resonates about things that you should and should not do in a marriage. On that note, I think people give up on relationships too easily. They become too self absorbed, worry about their own needs and forget the joy to be had in being dedicated to making someone they love happy. Not all marriages can be fixed, but most can.
It doesn't take much to motivate me to stay married, but the one thing that terrifies me more than anything about getting divorced is the thought of some other guy being a stepfather to my children. I am very protective of my kids, and no man will EVER take my place as their father as long as I'm alive. Think about that before you sleep with your secretary.
I have one criticism of Gottman. He's an expert, and he knows it. His book comes across as arrogant, and sometimes the material is dry. Forgive me, but I like to be entertained a little. I accept that you are an expert or I wouldn't be reading your book, so you don't have to keep reminding me. The information is great, but it isn't exactly a page turner. Perhaps he should have done different male and female versions with the same content, but written in different styles. A few metaphorical car chases and explosions couldn't have hurt.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Gu.......2007-10-15
This is a great book! I have read many relationship books and this is clearly the best. It is so easy to read and offers a lot of practical guidance. There are step by step exercises for you and your partner to work on together. Rebuilding and re-aquainting with each other. I found it to be hopeful and reassuring. It has helped me immensely in my relationship. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is looking for help in your relationship.
A must for couples considering marriage/long-term partnership.......2007-09-30
My fiancee and I decided to be proactive and visit a psychologist before we had any relationship issues and before we got married. He recommended Gottman to us, and what a fabulous recommendation it was! Reading "Seven Principles" really illustrated with lucidity what it was about my parents' marriage that has always bothered me (contempt from my mother in their arguments) and gave clear steps on how to avoid this and other relationship killers. It was very reaffirming in that it doesn't tell couples not to fight (because how realistic is that?), but teaches them how to fight and how to agree to disagree. My fiancee is in the process of reading it now, and I'm excited for him to finish so we can talk it over. The last principle, in particular, is really great for people who already have solid relationships...it made me excited to get married!
A really excellent book overall, Gottman's writing style is clear and concise!
A must have in protecting one's marriage!.......2007-09-26
This book is absolutely essential in the treatment of marriage or couple counseling, as well as can be used by anyone interested in strengthening their own marriage/relationships. It is helpful because it is basic, layed out in a very simplistic manner, and is an easy reader. The book offers concrete instructions for couples on how to improve their closeness, connection, and communication. It is also based on scientific studies thereby offering value and effectiveness of the techniques illustrated in the book. I would highly recommend it for struggling couples, those considering divorce, as well as couples with a good relationship seeking a closer bond.
Book Description
You've read John Maxwell's best-selling
Winning with People, and now you're ready for some specific action steps to build on the knowledge you gained.
25 Ways to Win With People has just what you need! This complementary companion to the full-sized book is ideal for a quick refresher course on interpersonal relationships.
A small sampling of the twenty-five specific actions readers can take to build positive, healthy relationships includes:
- Complimenting People in Front of Others
- Creating a Memory and Visiting It Often
- Encouraging the Dreams of Others
Customer Reviews:
25 Ways To Win With People.......2007-10-11
The book is fanastic! It has great ideas to put into practice in your daily living that make you feel better as well as the people that you come in contact with everyday. It is a must read book for EVERYONE!
Not his best work!.......2007-09-25
This is co-authored by John and Les. Les does not write well and does not add much value to Johns ideas. So essentially only 1/2 of this book is worth reading.
Awesome little book on winning with people.......2007-06-26
While a lot of the "tips" this book gives are really common sense, it's something that not everyone thinks about. What this little book manages to do is present 25 ways to win people in an easy to read and follow format which you can instantly start applying to your everyday life. One of the ways to win people over is to write them a personal note and the first thing I did after reading that chapter was to put the book down and write my wife a note letting her know how much I appreciate and love her. If you're like me you will not be able to put this book down for long until you completely finish reading it.
Practical Application, Short Chapters, Solid Principles.......2006-12-10
Many reviewers said that this book is "fluffy" or that Perrott gives too much "Maxwell-worship" throughout the book. This may be true, but I actually enjoyed reading about all of the ways that Maxwell has practically shown these concepts in action. I enjoyed the short chapters that tackle simple concepts one-at-a-time. I read this book with my wife and we were able to discuss each chapter together due to the thought-provoking applications suggested at the end of each chapter.
Applying the 25 concepts in this book requires more than reading this book, they are an art (but then again, so are all social skills). This book is a great introduction to some principles that should be common-sense, but in today's self-gratifying culture, it is refreshing to read about the art of focusing on others.
I recommend this book to anyone who works with people, lives with people, or converses with people.
25 Ways to Win with People.......2006-06-27
Excellent book. Have other books by the same author. Easy to read.
Average customer rating:
- Great book....
- Great for Personal & Professional Communication Skills
- People Skills:How to AsertYourself. Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicks
- Wonderful Book
- Useful insights, practical exercises.
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People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts
Robert Bolton
Manufacturer: Touchstone
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ASIN: 067162248X |
Book Description
A wall of silent resentment shuts you off from someone you love....You listen to an argument in which neither party seems to hear the other....Your mind drifts to other matters when people talk to you....
People Skills is a communication-skills handbook that can help you eliminate these and other communication problems. Author Robert Bolton describes the twelve most common communication barriers, showing how these "roadblocks" damage relationships by increasing defensiveness, aggressiveness, or dependency. He explains how to acquire the ability to listen, assert yourself, resolve conflicts, and work out problems with others. These are skills that will help you communicate calmly, even in stressful emotionally charged situations.
People Skills will show you
* How to get your needs met using simple assertion techniques
* How body language often speaks louder than words
* How to use silence as a valuable communication tool
* How to de-escalate family disputes, lovers' quarrels, and other heated arguments
Both thought-provoking and practical, People Skills is filled with workable ideas that you can use to improve your communication in meaningful ways, every day.
Customer Reviews:
Great book...........2007-07-29
This is a great book with useful techniques that you can learn to become a better communicator. I read this a couple of years ago, and started implementing the tips, and I swear people responded to me better.
However, I only gave this book 4 stars because, due to the many subjects it covers, it doesn't cover all the subjects as thoroughly. But it is a very useful book on communication, and a great book to jumpstart your way to becoming a better communicator.
Other books I recommend: Everyday Negotiations (great book!), The Assertiveness Workbook, Fight Your Fear and Win, etc.
Great for Personal & Professional Communication Skills.......2007-05-18
This communication skills handbook is a good one to add to your library. Sometimes people need to be refreshed on old skills, especially if one does not attend any type of annual conferences or seminars to rejuvenate and motivate one's performance. Noted content topics include: (1)Skills for Bridging the Interpersonal Gap (2)Barriers to Communication (3)Listening Skills (4)Reflective Listening (5)Reflective Responses (6)Reading Body Language (7)Assertive Skills (8)Conflict Management Skills and (9)Collaborative Problem Solving.
People skills are necessary for all areas of life (familial, workplace, social, and religious). This is a great book for Managers to invest in and provide copies to Administrative Professionals, etc. in the organization. Teachers this is a great book to have on your shelf of books to share with the eager and hungry readers. Also a great gift for teens or college bound students.
People Skills:How to AsertYourself. Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicks.......2007-02-08
This is an very detailed people skills guide on how to be sucessful in today's complex world. I found it a very high caliber read about communication.
Wonderful Book.......2007-01-02
This is a wonderful book by Robert Bolton on people skills focusing on effective communication particularly listening skills, assertion techniques, effective conflict resolution and collaborative problem solving techniques.
The book is very useful and practical. A good manager achieves results through people hence it is critical for managers to acquire interpersonal skills and effective communication is an important vehicle for achieving this. Some people, due to their cultural and religious backgrounds, fail to be effective managers due to lack of assertiveness. This book provides the techniques to help readers achieve this.
Conflict is inevitable in organisations due to various reasons. Team leaders need to learn the techniques of effectively handling conflict so that the effectiveness of an organisation is optimal. The author explains how collaborative problem solving results in optimal outcomes.
The author also discusses the various barriers to effective communication and suggests practical ways to overcome the barriers.
One common problem that I have observed in my organisation and in myself is that we are often not good listeners. We often fail to get to understand what the other party is really saying and thus lose opportunities for resolving problems. The author methodically explains effective ways to enhance our listening skills and thus help build good interpersonal relationships and hence more productive and motivated people.
The book is valuable and practical and readers should benefit immensely from studying it.
Useful insights, practical exercises........2006-08-06
Written in 1979, People Skills is a classic in the field of communication skills. Like many people, I decided to read this book after it turned up on a must-read list for consultants and business people. The book offers a useful and practical guide to someone looking to improve their effectiveness in interpersonal situations. It is broken down into Listening Skills, Assertion Skills, and Conflict Management Skills.
The problem that this book has is shared by many books of its kind. There are several really good points and ideas which need to be padded out into a longer form. People Skills was quite a bit longer than it needed to be, and this detracted from its overall strength.
I found it an interesting compliment to Getting To Yes (Fisher & Ury), which is still my favorite book on conflict resolution and negotiation. Many of the same points are covered, but from a different point of view.
Book Description
Marriage works only when each spouse takes the time to consider the other's needs and strives to meet them. In His Needs, Her Needs, Willard Harley identifies the ten most vital needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to satisfy those needs in their spouses. He provides guidance for becoming irresistible to your spouse and for loving more creatively and sensitively, thereby eliminating the problems that often lead to extramarital affairs. The revised anniversary edition of His Needs, Her Needs is a celebration of how the book has helped thousands of couples revitalize their marriages during the last fifteen years. This best-seller identifies the causes of marital difficulties and instructs couples on how to prevent them, guiding them to build a relationship that sustains romance and increases intimacy. With today's soaring divorce rate and prevalence of affairs, Harley's insights are needed more than ever before. An unabridged recording of His Needs, Her Needs, the 15th anniversary edition, is now available as an audio book.
Customer Reviews:
Outstanding Marriage Advice.......2007-10-18
I am a minister. Over the last six years I have presented "His Needs, Her Needs" to over 15 couples, prior to marriage. Some were young, first time marriage couples, many were divorced and embarking on their second marriages. Every couple has commented on the value of the information & advice contained in this book. Several of the couples found the counsel to be so important to the success of their current marriages that they have referred others to me. This book should be read and the chapter exercises completed, by every couple intent on marriage, as well as every married couple (no matter how long) who wish to develop a deeper, true loving, caring partnership.
One of the most helpful books I have ever read.......2007-09-14
I read this book after my sister recommended it to me. I only wish I could have read it before my divorce. It is a great book and even after the divorce it was very helpful.
could be better.......2007-08-29
Our marriage counselor gave us this book after I found out about an affair. While the book has many good points, I found it to be heavy on putting blame on the spouse who doesn't meet needs. The reason people have affairs is that they are selfish and covenant breakers. There are other ways to address needs not being met. We are now working out our differences, but at first my husband used the book to justify his actions. It could be a great book, used with care.
Review: His Needs, her Needs.......2007-08-23
This book was given as a gift to a couple who are experiencing difficulties in their young marriage. It was recommended to me by a wife who had used it successfully herself.
His Needs, Her Needs.......2007-08-13
What an eye opener. This has helped our marriage from 50-60% to 100-120%.
So many things we did not know about the differences in how we think.
God Bless.
Amazon.com
The average person's attention span lasts about 30 seconds. That means first and immediate impressions count, and big. In this modern-day update of Dale Carnegie's classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, former fashion photographer Nicholas Boothman instructs you in how to mold those 30 seconds to your greatest advantage and connect with others at business and social functions.
Boothman, now a lecturer and licensed master practitioner of neurolinguistic programming (the art and science of how the brain affects human connections), says that the key to making others like you quickly lies in establishing a rapport: you have to find out what you have in common or, if you seemingly have nothing in common, purposely try to become like the other person for a short time. He then goes on to offer simple techniques for getting a rapport going: adopt a positive attitude; make sure your words, tone, and gestures are all saying the same thing; synchronize your attitude and body movements to those of another person's (which makes the person feel comfortable with you--although he or she may not know why); and ask lots of open-ended questions. Boothman also describes how to figure out a stranger's favored sense for receiving information about the world--some rely on visual cues, others on auditory or kinesthetic (touch) input--and use it to your best advantage.
If discovering how to connect with others is the secret to business and life success, as Boothman contends, then employing the strategies in this book will make you instantly likeable and give you a leg up on the competition. --Nancy Monson
Book Description
Whether selling, managing, negotiating, planning, collaborating, pitching, instructing-or on your knees with a marriage proposal-the secret of success is based on connecting with other people. Now that connection is infinitely easier to make through Nicholas Boothman's program of rapport by design.
HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU IN 90 SECONDS OR LESS is the work of a master of Neuro-Linguistic Programming whose career is teaching corporations and groups the secrets of successful face-to-face communication. Aimed at establishing rapport-that stage between meeting and communicating-HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU focuses on the concept of synchrony. It shows how to synchronize attitude, synchronize body language, and synchronize voice tone so that you instantly and imperceptibly become someone the other person likes. Reinforcing these easy-to-learn skills is knowing how to read the other person's sensory preferences-most of us are visual, some are kinesthetic, and a minority are auditory. So when you say "I see what you mean" to a visual person, you're really speaking his language. Along the way the book covers attitude, nervousness, words that open a conversation and words that shut it down, compliments, eye cues, the magic of opposites attracting, and more. It's how to make the best of the most important 90 seconds in any relationship, business or personal.
Customer Reviews:
Easy read..........2007-10-19
This was an easy read. I've read alot of these books this month and they all seem to have the same message.
Outstanding Read!.......2007-08-26
If you want a book to deliver on what it's title says, BUY THIS BOOK. Learn how to communicate effectively without being overly concerned about words. I have investigated many Neuro-Linguistic Programming systems now, and Mr. Boothman stands out head and shoulders above the rest. His ethics base is strong; there is an absence of selfish manipulation taught throughout his system.
A true "How to" very practically writen!.......2007-08-18
Another fantastic book for weomen which I highly recommend is - How to be a Super Hot Woman: 339 Tips to Make Every Man Fall in Love with You and Every Woman Envy You
Awsome books!
Easy to read, but light on substance .......2007-07-26
It's a decent pamphlet for those who need the most basic of primers. It's a quick and easy read and has some good tips, but if you're serious about learning how to improve your people skills, your money and time will be better spent on Leil Lowndes' "How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships" instead. It's an updated take on Dale Carnegie classic "How to Win Friends and Influence People", which give you clear steps for improving your rapport with others.
This is NOT Based on Science.......2007-01-17
I thought this book was based on scientific research, but it is part of a body of knowledge termed Neurolinguistic Programming. It comes from New Age beliefs and has been hailed by some as "junk" science. Many people have marketed these teachings, such as this book, to come up with a pop-psychology that sells.
The upside of this book is that it is very entertaining. It is very upbeat and fun, and it sure seems like the magic bullet to cure all of your social awkwardness! But beware, you might just end up looking like a goober. One recent character on the Office used the a technique in the book called "mirroring" to make people like him better. It made for good prime-time comedy.
If you want to be a better friend, then read the book of Proverbs in the Bible. There you will find a more lasting and proven way of building your character.
You can read more about Neuro Linguistic Programming at Wikipedia.
Book Description
Ask the successful CEOs of major corporations, entrepreneurs, top salespeople, and pastors what characteristic is most needed for success in leadership positions, and they'll tell you-it's the ability to work with people.
Some people are born with great relationship skills, but those who are not can learn to improve them. In
Winning with People Maxwell has translated decades of experience into 25 People Principles that anyone can learn.
Maxwell has divided the People Principles in this book according to the questions we must ask ourselves if we want to win with people:
- Readiness: Are we prepared for relationships?
- Connection: Are we willing to focus on others?
- Trust: Can we build mutual trust?
- Investment: Are we willing to invest in others?
- Synergy: Can we create a win-win relationship?
Each section contains guiding People Principles. Some are intuitive, such as
The Lens Principle: Who We Are Determines How We See Others. Others may go against your instincts, such as
The Confrontation Principle: Caring for People Should Precede Confronting People. All of them are 100 percent practical!
Customer Reviews:
This book makes so much sense!.......2007-08-24
I always thought the "Golden Rule" was to treat others how you want to be treated, but Maxwell's interesting take was that we should treat others how "they" want to be treated. It makes sense! Awesome read and practical application.
If Bob is being ganged up on the problem is with Bob? No. Not nice........2007-08-08
There were some wonderful passages in this book. I took special note of his passage on how to forgive. But the first chapter - that says that if Bob has a problem with everyone Bob has the problem - has been soundly disproved by research in criminology and abuse.
Immature people gang up on people, for no good reason except for that they can get away with it, studies have proved. If everyone has a problem with Bob, we don't blame Bob. That's heartless and experts have a name for it: victim victimization.
Immature people try to reduce others for no other reason than to raise themselves. The good ones - the skilled abusers - will talk behind the back of the person they are trying to power over to garner support when their own actions don't work.
Moreover, immature people will hurt others in order to say, "Look at me! I get along with people better than you." It is a well known characteristic of immaturity that has made its way into all the literature on emotional abuse.
Mature people don't join in the hurt. So if everyone is against Bob something is wrong with everyone, not Bob.
Immature people - teachers, managers, parents - will take the easy way out of a conflict and confront the easiest one to confront. If everyone is ganging up on Bob it's a lot easier to confront Bob and say that he has the problem.
But it is really very cruel... isn't it?
Despite this there were some nice things to be learned. Just beware.
Not-So-Common Common Sense.......2007-03-21
Like all John Maxwell books, this book is full of some not-so-common common sense that will improve your relationships and leadership skills if you take the author's advice to heart. This book is simple and straightforward, making it easy to read and understand. The principles described in this book focus specifically on communicating, working with, learning from, and investing in others. What may be the most helpful aspect of the book is the series of questions Maxwell poses to at the end of each chapter to help the reader ponder and reflect where they stand on a particular attribute or skill. The ideas are not necessarily new, but they are wise. Stories and quotes from other people's lives are sprinkled throughout Maxwell's own thoughts and experiences, creating a well-rounded narrative as to how to improve yourself. The bottom line is this: No matter what we do or why we do it, life is about people, and this book will help you do whatever you do better.
Should have owned this book a couple of years ago!.......2007-03-13
I just finished reading this book and I can't be thankful enough to JCM for inspiring me to change my approach on people and to myself. Even if most of them are plain common sense, JCM makes it inspiring and absorbing to the reader like me. He aims to keep reminding people to be always nice to others without expecting anything much in return. If only I read this book 2 or 3 years ago, who knows how much I've improved socially today! But just like what he said here, don't dig the past and regret them. We just need to focus on the present and start changing! Kudos to John Maxwell!
Simple, Practical Advice About Relationships.......2006-12-22
This is one of those simple, yet practical books about how to succeed in life by simply taking care of your relationships. The author proposes, and I agree, that when it comes down to it, relationships are what really matter. If your relationships suffer, you suffer. If your relationships are great, you won't despair life.
The book is broken down into five major sections; 1) preparing for relationships, 2) obtaining the correct focus, 3) building trust, 4) maintaining the relationship, and 5) growing together with those you have solid relationships with.
This book is very easy to read and understand (about 6 hours). Of course, as any book of this genre, the application is the tough part, but this author makes each of the lessons simple enough that it doesn't take an extraordinary amount of effort to actually apply. Even if you just follow half, or a third, you'll be much better off than where you are today.
This book is applicable for a spouse (male or female), a budding young business person, or an old codgy badger. The content here will help you more than intelligence ever will.
Customer Reviews:
Clear and Concise Information You Can Use.......2006-10-10
I took a webinar based on this book and found the information presented intriguing enough to buy the book. It's a short read but filled with good, practical information. If there are certain people in your lives who rub you the wrong way, understanding how their style differs from yours could help to improve communication and make the relationship more effective and pleasant for both. This book was definitely worth reading and I've experienced benefits from it at work in a very short time.
Must read for every one..........2005-07-09
Of the several books I have studied on similar topics, this was one of the easiest to read through and apply. Although the title says People Styles at Work, it is equally applicable in personal life as well. The focus on studying behavior and inferring "style" from the same is much easier accomplished than trying to figure out the "temprament style" based on Myers Briggs.
The two dimensions of Assertiveness and Responsiveness, and the concept of above / below the middle for each of these dimensions gives 4 quadrants; one for each of the styles. This makes it convenient to understand the 4 styles, and also the shades within the styles.
I have benefited tremendously - if you are new to this topic it will serve you well to take notes as you read; create a cheat sheet of the characteristics for each style. Then for some time carry the cheat sheet with you, and refer to it often as you observe people's behaviors. Over a period of time, you will pickup the nuances of how to recognize the styles, and succeed in your interactions with others - despite them, and despite yourself... Enjoy!
you have to read it !.......2005-04-26
the book is simple and the ideas are easy to applicate in the every day life , i've tried the method and have good results - Read it if you have problem to communicate with some of your colleagues and you need to work with them
Could save your sanity, and maybe your job!.......2003-11-13
Highly recommended. Several years ago, I had a clash of personal styles between my boss and me. I thought she talked like a kindergarten teacher, and she felt that I came on like a steamroller. She was familiar with the methods discussed in this book, although she learned them during a seminar at a former employer. This book helped turn a bad working relationship into an excellent working relationship, and may have saved my job. I learned to "flex" to my boss's style (and to her credit, she flexed somewhat to mine). I reread the book from time to time and try to practice what I've learned. I highly recommend the book to anyone who is running into "people problems" on the job or elsewhere.
A method that really makes a difference in the workplace!.......2003-01-15
One the best book and method on the subject I have read so far, and I have read quite a few. There are 4 main Communication Styles, and the best thing is that only observable behaviors are used to categorize people in one style or another. No messing around with people's phsyche, and finally a very simple method to effectively relate to other people in the workplace.
I am using Communication Styles with all my direct reports, during meetings, etc. It allows me to convey clearly my messages, and at the same time overcome communication styles differences. This simple method does makes a difference in my daily work not only as a manager but also in communicating with my peers.
This book is a must have in your management library at home.
Book Description
The international bestseller--more than 500,000 copies sold!
With their 1994 international bestseller, Dealing with People You Can't Stand, Drs. Rick Brinkman and Rick Kirschner armed a civility-starved world with no-nonsense strategies for dealing with difficult people with tact and skill. Since then, cell phones, the Internet, voice mail, and other technological wonders designed to bring people closer together have only made it that much harder to avoid "people you can't stand;" even worse, they've also created exciting new ways for annoying people to realize their talent for being pains in the butt.
Updated and revised for the digital age, this new edition of Brinkman and Kirschner's bestselling guide shows readers how to successfully combat the whiners, grenades, tanks, snipers, close-talkers, pedants, and other rude, crude, and inconsiderate people who can ruin your day at work, in stores, on the street, in restaurants, at the movies, in waiting rooms, by fax, phone, and E-mail, and in cyberspace.
Customer Reviews:
Very short & general.......2007-10-02
This is like a small handbook/manual to refer to after you've read a more in depth book on the subject. I wouldn't even call it a book, it's not very long at all.
It's not a bad read but if you have never read anything about "difficult people" before you'll find a LOT lacking. I think maybe it'll be good to refer to if you need reminders of the things you've learned.
A more comprehensive book on the subject which i have read and like a lot is called Coping with difficult people by Robert M. Bramson.
Should be called Dealing with Difficult Behaviours.......2007-09-12
I really enjoyed this book. The crux of it is that you are dealing with bad or difficult behaviour, not necessarily bad people. If you understand what drives the behaviour you can be more successful in dealing with it. It is also a good guide on what NOT to do. AND the book is not a weighty tome that drones on and on to prove a simple point ... it is nice and to the point. I was a IT consultant for 10 years working with many different global coporate companiess, and now run my own business employing 15 people. I can recognise each and every behaviour type. I have tries lots of these strategies for dealing with these behaviours (successful and unsuccessful) and a lot of this advice rings so very true.
the difficlties of self-knowledge.......2007-05-15
I found this book is quite helpful in identifying differing communication styles and in giving suggestions for how to deal with them. One of the major, salutary, insights is that each of us probably has a communication styles that irritate somebody, somewhere. Ouch! But recognizing that aspect of "the problem with OTHER people" gives us a better chance to improve matters. I liked the humor, too.
Don't be put off by the extreme sounding title.......2007-04-13
This is one of the best books about effective communication I have come across.
As a manager of a large teaching staff, and working for local government, I have found this book to be one of the best resources I own.
The book clearly breaks down difficult personality characteristics, identifies the motivation behind the behaviours, and gives clear strategies to deal with the situation. From the bulldozing boss, to the meek mouse, this book helps to bring out the best from the people you work with.
It's also effective with difficult friends and family. It is also very readable.
Dealing With People You Can't Stand........2007-03-15
Excellent Book. It gives practical tips in how to deal with difficult people. I am requiring my staff to read the book.
Books:
- How To Write A Proposal That's Accepted Every Time
- How to Write It: A Complete Guide to Everything You'll Ever Write
- How to Write It: A Complete Guide to Everything You'll Ever Write
- Human Side of Organizations, The (9th Edition)
- Introduction to Communication Research
- Islamic Finance: The Regulatory Challenge (Wiley Finance)
- Legacies: Fiction, Poetry, Drama, Nonfiction
- Linking Emotional Intelligence And Performance At Work: Current Research Evidence With Individuals and Groups
- Listening: The Forgotten Skill: A Self-Teaching Guide (Wiley Self-Teaching Guides)
- Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die
Books Index
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