Book Description
This self-directed program teaches readers to speak up and say what they mean at work and at home. Written supportively, it uses proven cognitive behavioral techniques to help individuals build self-confidence, set boundaries, and determine appropriate responses.
Customer Reviews:
BUY IT NOW!.......2007-06-17
If you're reading this review, you probably suspect that you have a problem with assertiveness, so take the first step towards improving your life by purchasing this book. If you have a problem saying no to unreasonable requests, if your legitimate and reasonable requests for what you need are repeatedly denied, ignored, or trivialized, if you feel surrounded by manipulative, controlling people, if you have been in a long-term verbally abusive relationship, if you are easily intimidated by aggressive people, or even if you're just mildly curious, this book will be invaluable to you. It's not just a quick read, though. It has thought-provoking exercises to help you determine why you have difficulty asserting yourself as well as practice exercises to prepare you to be assertive when the need arises. Even if you don't think you need improvement, this book is a great resource on communication.
Clearly to the point.......2007-05-12
Excellent resource for how to deal with PA's and others-the book's no nonsense approach (yes, it's hard to change and yes your significants others will resist you), exercises, and examples give you inspiration without alot of nonsense and over the top 'you can do it' every paragraph.
Accessible and easily readable, this practical guide will help you get what you need or establish your personal boundaries without all the new age style rhetoric.
Excellent!.......2007-02-18
This book is by far the most helpful book I've ever read. It is very informative, but in plain words that almost anyone can understand. The exercises it suggests really do help. I'm only half-way through it, but I've already made significant changes in my behavior. It really helped me understand the different communication styles and how to tweak my style to make me more satisfied with my communication with others. It's so simple to do! I've always been lazy about change or given up too early, but this truly couldn't be any easier.
Good enough to write a review.......2006-11-22
I had reached a point where I needed to learn how to assert myself and stop being miserable in certain situations. This book helped me take action and understand how to react when confronted. If you feel that you are in need of some "tools" this is a great book.
A portable behavior coach .......2005-03-14
Being a passive personality, I went looking for some kind of guidance after a recent confrontation. It goes through many basic terms and concepts of human relationships and behavior. The author wants us to understand assertiveness before trying to put new ways of thinking into practice. The important part of the author's lesson is reminding us that assertiveness is part of a person's behavior but is not the person. It builds up to the ten steps of preparing for a confrontation. The written exercises are useful, the diagrams and check boxes not so much. Some terms were basic but many times when things are not working right, we have to be reminded of the basics. Personally, I would not choose to use the assertiveness scorecards in my regular day-to-day routine. It goes over what a DESO script, Describe, Express, Script, Outcome; could mean to anybody's personal and work relationships. How one can change a few steps in giving criticism to create positive feedback. The Assertiveness workbook makes you take a breath, and think before speaking. Clear, easy-to-read, straight-to-the-point chapters are there to help when needed.
Customer Reviews:
A Must for Working Women.......2006-12-03
This book is great. It focuses on what women do in the workplace that underminds thier career. It also talks about how you should act. It's a great book for women working in a corperate jungle. It's a little hard to read at times, and she focuses on her life experiences in the magazine industry. Therefore, some of the things she talks about don't relate well to my field. I'm sure reading this book will help me in my career.
Highly valuable book, even if you're not a self-help type.......2006-10-05
I was just out of college when my friend's mother gave me this book. My friend and I rolled our eyes - we were *definitely* not self-help-book readers. I still am not. But many times over the past ten years I have referenced this book in conversations with friends. I have found myself applying many of the tips that Ms. White provides. You don't have to be a hyper-ambitious, ladder-climbing corporate professional to get something out of this book. Among the tenets that have stood out to me over the years are:
-Don't always need to be liked
-Don't smile too easily
-Don't apologize too quickly
-Don't clean up after other colleagues (especially men)
-Don't be a perfectionist at the expense of innovative thinking or getting things done
Simply the notion that men and women (in broad strokes, at least) behave differently and are treated differently in the workplace was a novel idea to me, coming out of a liberal arts college during the mid-1990s. Reading this book gave me an awareness that everyone needs. Obviously, no one book will apply perfectly to each of us, so you can't go looking for that. But do look to this book for many useful ways of seeing the professional world and your own role in it.
Enjoyed, learned but read it all with a grain of salt!.......2006-06-10
I have never believed, or wanted to believe, in the feminist views of the world. I like to believe that if we focus on results, deliverables, and excellent performance and good merit, we will indeed get ahead - man or woman - in corporate america. Reading this book however did have certain advice in handling some situations that only arise for women in the workplace. Not every bit of advice or circumstance applies to all of us, but overall, this was a very good read, I took bits and pieces of advice from Kate and really did enjoy her stories and her candid sharing of the experience she had been through. I really do recommend it to everyone - not just women. It's good to be aware of our ingrained beliefs and learn to let go of them and face life with a much more open mind.
People Pleasing is not the way to go.......2006-06-01
This is the golden advice: people pleasing is distinct from delivering credible results. In the world of world it is being respected that wins the day. Being liked is a matter of fickleness and not based on results. Results that are measured are all that matters.
Not for "Every Working Woman".......2006-05-24
This book applies to women who are in leadership positions, which I am not, so I despise the title "Nine Secrets Every Working Woman Must Know". It's misleading. I'm currently reading this book and have only found a small paragraph that applies to "every working woman." Given the title, I thought the book would give helpful tips on getting ahead for the average working woman, but it doesn't. Needless to say, it didn't do me much good for where I am currently in my career.
Book Description
Make positive assertiveness a productive force in your life. This course will help you examine your posture, language, and attitude while learning to deal openly with others. Find your natural style of communication. Use assertive words appropriately. Take charge of your life.
Book Description
On the heels of the national bestseller Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office, Lois P. Frankel turns her attention to the financial mistakes women make, offering advice to help them acquire the wealth they deserve. After her terrific success revealing the mistakes women make that sabotage their careers, Dr. Lois P. Frankel is back to reveal the 75 mistakes women make that prevent them from achieving financial success. From executive to entry level, single to married, every woman needs to know the subconscious behavior that prevents her from developing a healthy and successful relationship with money-from depending on men for financial advice or support to a reluctance for negotiating. Frankel offers help in recognizing these self-defeating behaviors-as well as financial and investment advice and tips to help women claim wealth and riches.
Customer Reviews:
A great book that can be a help to all.......2007-09-04
Although I knew most of the information in this book and I have been actively involved in my family's finances, I still enjoyed this book very much. My favorite section was "Spending Your Money Wisely". I have always been a shopper and this helped me to understand why I go crazy when I'm in a bad mood. The presentation is easy to understand and each section is short so it is great for people who don't have time to sit around reading for hours at a time.
It's not where you are, it's how to get where you want to be.......2007-07-12
I was given the book by a friend, and started reading it just because I like reading. As I read, it was a good eye opener for great aspirations. It is not so much about where you are, but if you want to go far, you have to learn to manage what you have currently. It coaches on how to manage your money currently, work at getting better, and hopefully, some day be rich moneywise. There is an activity that analyzes how well you are on your way to getting rich, and I highly agree with that. There are areas that I do not agree with (Money has to be among the top 3 priorities in life) among others, but overall, great book. Her approach is very applicable in life too.
I would recommend it to "the nice girls" out there. Those who find it hard to say 'No" and especially to friends, those who think they have to match up a gift,... among others. I have recommended it to some of my friends, and bought it for some.
Written for the business woman.......2007-05-15
I think the value of this book to describe the mistakes that Lois has seen women make in the context of a business organization. Women who are not in that world may find it less relevant as the reviews have shown. I found it useful just as a description of her own observations..and I do think that it is true that many high-earning women do little or nothing to understand their own finances and just want not to bother with it. I also think it is a good idea to try to look at the big picture when choosing a career..but I also remember being young and in my 20's with my advisor trying to persuade me to go to medical school and I of course refusing all the advice of anyone over 30.
Looking for concrete money advice? Look elsewhere..........2007-01-11
If you need help in how you think about and perceive money, then sure, this may be the book for you. But if you're a young, up-and-comer or someone looking to correct past mistakes with money--this book borders on worthless.
A better investment is in Suze Orman's book, "Young, Fabulous, and Broke" which comes with access to online features which are really useful.
Great tips and a lot to learn........2006-11-06
I really enjoyed this book. It is greatly motivational and I have already implemented a number of steps to ensure I am financially secure. Recommended to all women and men.
Book Description
A proven program for increasing your management skills
Managing Assertively has helped tens of thousands of businesspeople become more effective managers by sharpening their people skills. Leading management trainer Madelyn Burley-Allen shows you how you, too, can learn to resolve conflicts and defuse interpersonal problems that invariably arise at work. Her step-by-step techniques, clear examples, and competence-building exercises will immediately improve your supervisory skills, sharpen your self-awareness, and make you a more confident, assertive manager. You'll learn how to:
- Use eight building blocks to become a more effective manager
- Overcome self-defeating behavior
- Handle criticism to maintain and enhance self-esteem
- State limits and expectations to clarify assignments
- Become a more effective listener
- Receive and give positive feedback to enhance team building
- Handle conflict, stress, personal problems, and a wide range of other difficult on-the-job situations
- By following the user-friendly, interactive, self-teaching format, you can work at your own pace as you master management essentials.
Customer Reviews:
Useful, lots of practices.......2006-08-18
A very useful book for changing your attitude towards others and towards yourself. It has a lot of exercises. Some of the examples can be skipped, since some of them tell the same things.
So-So.......2005-12-30
I was disappointed in this book. Way too much time was spent on telling you how to build your own self-esteem. Some of the review exercises are overly simplistic. I emailed a work situation and question to the author; she replied that she charges $85 for a one hour telephone consultation fee. Hmmm, $85 plus the $20 I already spent on the book. Sorry, not worth it, even at only the book cost.
"Managing Assertively" by Madelyn Burley-Allen.......2000-11-28
Managing Assertively is an excellent teaching quide for improving your people skills. It gives defination to the different types of supervisory styles that exist. The book uses exercises to teach an eight step building block plan for managing assertively. This plan can be used daily to improve your supervisory skills. A great book to build confidence and self awareness.
Getting To Know All About You.......2000-03-29
A super self-teaching guide for managers (and others) who want to develop assertiveness skills! This isn't just a book of theories. There are practical exercises and lots of self-assessment tools. It's worth adding to your reference shelf and sharing with others.
Wondering why you're having trouble getting through to someone? Need to turn a personality clash into a more productive relationship? While this book doesn't promise to cure all your woe's, it offers techniques that are simple to apply and they work! It helped me identify the events, thought processes and attitudes that influence the results I get when interacting with others. You'll be surprised at what you learn about yourself. These easy to adopt behaviors can improve your relationships with others. Try it and see.
Book Description
Volume II of the classic book on assertiveness training. Reprise of the famous UCLA Business and Management Extension course given by the master assertive trainer, Dr. Manuel Smith. With the original training scripts and exercises for coping with manipulative coworkers, colleagues, bosses, external reps and customers as well as technical experts. A nuts and bolts approach to an essential of good management with no "cure" time or personal "insight" required. The manager trainee uses the skills learned the next day on the job, at home, and in private business dealings. The sequel to the world wide bestseller published in thirteen languages with over four million copies sold.
Customer Reviews:
Don't 'Say No' To This Book.......2007-06-21
I read the original "When I Say No I Feel Guilty" years ago in an "encounter group" college class in group dynamics and it was easily one of the most useful books I've read in my life. This book is a worthy alternative to the original. It isn't really a sequel, despite the Volume II tag. Dr. Smith has essentially published his UCLA assertiveness training seminar activities (all of which revolve around the same techniques he taught im the first book). If you haven't read the first book, don't worry - Dr. Smith will get you up to speed very quickly.
I consider this an alternative to the original book because its core strategies are nearly the same. The focus, however, is different. This time around, Dr. Smith provides ample examples for how to apply assertiveness training techniques to business settings. It's also a more contemporary book and Dr. Smith's examples are often good-humored and amusing, which encourages you to keep reading.
I really like the way Dr. Smith helps the reader to learn to listen better to others, to build upon what they are saying in conversation, to build upon free information to develop a more mutually satisfying exchange, and how to simply and politely avoid caving into manipulative techniques. These are all skills most of us can improve, and rather than devolve into a touchy-feely approach, Dr. Smith gives us techniques and strategies firmly rooted in applied behavior modification.
Unlike other books, Dr. Smith does not imply that he will turn you into a super-assertive Terminator who always gets his own way. In fact, he encourages you to carefully explore your own motivations and avoid coming on like gangbuster unless the situation absolutely calls for it. Nor is this book intended to be entirely self-contained. You should really get out there and explore some of the foundations of behavior modification and communication to continue learning.
There's only one caveat - and I don't feel guilty for mentioning it. This book could have used another round of proofreading. If you are a proofer or editor yourself, you'll notice typos and other oddities that really ought to have been corrected. It doesn't detract from the informational value of the book at all, and so I didn't dock any stars for it.
Useful and practical.......2004-08-10
Dr. Manuel J. Smith takes the assertive principles laid down in his national best-seller WHEN I SAY NO I FEEL GUILTY and applies them to the work and business world. He shows conflicts from the viewpoint of both the employer and employee, from worker to manager alike. It's not about bullying people to get our own way but rather about making your needs known and working through the problems that are bound to come up in any shop or office.
I particularly like his definition of "manipulation:" it is when people try to reduce our ability to be our own judge, especially by trying to make us feel guilty, anxious or ignorant. He then gives some verbal techniques to help us handle ourselves while making our needs known.
The value of this book goes far beyond the office or factory. I read a lot of inspirational and self-help books, and this is one that I read over a lot of times to reinforce the principles. Contrary to a popular misunderstanding of assertiveness, it does not have to make us meaner or more aggressive -- at times it can even make us nicer, since we don't have to resort to aggression and meanness to get what we want.
Even if you haven't read WHEN I SAY NO I FEEL GUILTY, you will still finish this book knowing exactly what Dr. Smith is talking about. As mentioned in another review on this page, a lot of the material in this book is covered in his (unfortunately) out of print book YES, I CAN SAY NO which aims at teaching assertive principles to children. So if you have that one, some of what is in this one would be a bit (but not completely) repititious. However, this book is a valuable resource for how to act on the job, and I can't recommend it highly enough for us "grown kids."
YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE AN EXECUTIVE to gain from this book.......2000-10-25
I read "When I say no, I feel guilty" (Vol 1) and it changed my life. I found Smith's second Assertiveness book, "Yes, I can so no" and I loved that too. But that book is out of print and hard to find. Most of the information from "Yes, I can say no", however, may be found in Vol II. That is why NON-executives, who want to be assertive, SHOULD NOT BE PUT OFF FROM BUYING THIS BOOK.
Information not inc. in "When I say no, I feel guilty" (Vol 1), but inc. in THIS vol. (and "Yes, I can say no"):
*The structure of manipulation
*Smith's method for finding out WHAT REALLY UPSETS YOU ABOUT AN ISSUE.
*A better talk about your assertive rights and why it is in your interest to be assertive.
Since MUCH of the information in this book was reproduced in "Yes, I can say no", if you have the rare out of print book, the ONLY new information would be what Smith has to say about the world of work.
Thus, some might not find this book useful.
For my money, I am glad that I have all three of his books.
Book Description
According to the Shyness Institute in Palo Alto, Calif., half of all American adults consider themselves shy! If you're one of them, don't worry! There are skills and techniques you can learn which will allow you to grow out of your shell and become a friendly, assertive person. Learn these simple strategies and you will get along better with colleagues, be seen as a strong, team player, get the promotions you deserve or the clients you want and, ultimately—and naturally—succeed in business.
You can conquer your shyness and learn to present yourself confidently in a wide variety of business situations, from speaking up at a meeting, to taking credit for a project, to asking a busy boss for a deserved raise.
Customer Reviews:
Great guide for the shy and for the not-so-shy.......2007-07-17
Are you shy, or are you outgoing? Either way, I think you will want to read Ilise Benun's book, Stop Pushing Me Around!: A Workplace Guide for the Timid, Shy, And Less Assertive (Career Press, 2006, 220 pages). I am far from shy. (In fact I can sometimes be a bit too much for some people.) And yet I found huge value in this book. Each of us has shy moments, and those moments are what this book is for.
Benun devotes a chapter to the power of curiosity in overcoming shyness. Among other things, she suggests the following exercise, one that I find particularly powerful (quoted from pages 45-46).
"First, prepare yourself for slight discomfort. Then begin a conversation with someone who thinks differently than you do. Instead of listening for what you have in common, your task is to listen for anything different, anything that surprises you. Stop the voice of judgment or opinion. Just listen. Notice when words are used that you don't understand. If a question comes to mind, ask it. If not, just keep listening. At the end of the conversation, notice whether the discomfort stayed the same throughout or whether it subsided at any point. Notice whether you learned anything new."
Could you do that? I bet you could. And imagine how special the other person will feel when you try this.
The meat of the book is in the seven chapters covering specific situations:
Networking: How to do it even if you are terribly shy, goals for networking, what to bring to an event.
One-on-one conversations: Talking about what you do (see below), starting conversations, telling stories, following-up.
Phone calls: When to call (versus sending email),
preparing to call, making the call.
Body language: Awareness and control of your own body language.
On-line tools: When and how to use e-mail, including great suggestions for writing so that the message will actually be read, how to use instant-messaging, and a brief bit about social networking. [The only gap I found in the book was on blogs. Although Benun mentions them in a subheading (p. 136) she doesn't tell us anything about how blogs can help the shy communicate with the world.]
Selling techniques: Selling strategy, cold calls, overcoming objections, asking for the sale.
Managing shy people: Helping them contribute, giving feedback, interviewing them.
Highlights for me
*Many, if not most of you understand the need to craft a short "elevator speech" to explain to folks what it is that you do. Ilise takes that concept and turbo-charges it, helping us craft ten different versions, each with its own use. She shows us how to write a version Mom would understand, for example, and one for a stranger you see in the doctor's office. Very cool ideas here (and some homework for me).
*Benun gives us templates to help us tell compelling stories about ourselves. For example, she shows us how to construct the story of one of our top achievements.
*Her selling techniques for shy salespeople look like techniques almost all of us could use to improve our approach. We all need to answer objections ("you're too expensive," "we don't have the budget"), shy or not. Ilise gives us tools to do that.
Benun's book is a fast read and a useful read. I've got it on the bookshelf next to my desk, as I expect to turn to it often. My bet is that you will too.
Book Description
To succeed in business today, an individual must be smart, competitive, resilient, tenacious, and fearless. In short, he or she needs a good, old-fashioned backbone. In How to Grow a Backbone, Susan Marshall, a top business consultant and former executive, outlines skills that readers can develop and perfect to become stronger, more confident, and more influential on the job. Using straight talk laced with wry humor, the author draws upon actual business situations from a variety of companies and industries to show how a strong backbone can change not only the outcome of the situation, but also how one is perceived.
Customer Reviews:
Pretty effective book with a very nuts and bolts approach.......2005-09-22
Encountered it first as an audio book and then decided to buy it as a print book. The book is small in size but has an impactful message. How to be assertive and cooperative at the same time. Very useful tips on how to achieve both in the workplace. Highly recommend it for people like me who cave in on pursuing their agenda in our current corporate culture.
Wow! This author doesn't kid around..........2005-01-16
After finishing Disc 1 of 7 it's a thorough pleasure to hear a practical approach to career development. While attitude is great, sooner or later the rubber hits the road. Ms Marshall provides excellent guidance for what to do in real, modern, business situations.
Put it on your list.......2001-05-17
I found this book to be different than the typical management book. Rather than filled with the usual platitudes, it contains some real world advice on how to deal with and capitalize on situations that occur in a corporate environment. The book starts a bit slow, but it gets moving once it gets into the 10 strategies. The author has a nice conversational, straight-talking style of writing. The exercises and advice at the end of each chapter are excellent. I would recommend this book for new graduates starting in management and for seasoned veterans.
How to Grow a Backbone.......2000-10-04
This is a must read for anyone that wants to move further faster in the business world -- especially those who are fledglings in Corporate America! Marshall writes with clarity and good humor spiced with pithy observations and examples. This is more than a pie-in-the-sky, ethereal how-to book. She backs up her advice with practical, easy to implement ACTIONS to integrate the strategies into all areas of interactions with others. And her "excercises" are more than informative and effective: they're fun to boot!
Everything you can be.......2000-09-26
Marshall has written an exceptional book, a smart and practical book that reflects a very intelligent and perceptive grasp of business action and the people who are the action-eers. People run businesses and businesses are only as good as the people that run them. "How To Grow A Backbone" is at once very revealing and very familiar. We will all find ourselves somewhere in this book...for better or worse. We may smile or grimace at the unerring precision with which Marshall cuts straight to the bone, through all the usual fat, and shows us how much backbone we really have, I really have, you really have. Most important, she shows us how to grow what we're missing. Every CEO should read this book and then issue it to his staff, to everyone on the staff including the mail boy and the sweeper. If that CEO is big enough, smart enough (and secure enough) to encourage, to allow, to require, to inspire, his people to grow backbone, that boss will have one hell of a spinning business. Action, forward motion, innovation and fun the way business should be fun, going a mile a minute, breaking through. Everyone who dreams of being more than they are, or of being a CEO, should quit dreaming and dig into "Backbone". This is no "guru magic" that pumps you up for a week, this is the straight answer for anyone who has the courage to try to be what he or she can be. Miss Marshall will show you the way. "How To Grow A Backbone" is a lean, no nonsense bible for the feint of heart who want to grow the lion inside them. It's more than a business book. It's for anyone who hears their Jiminy Cricket whispering, you could have, you should have, why didn't you? Anyone who wants to know how to grow the seeds of character we all possess, who wants to be somebody, must read "How To Grow A Backbone". WARNING: Read only if you want to be better than you are.
Book Description
More often than not, youth turn to their friends for help, rather than to adults. Through a comprehensive, 15-session curriculum, this resource prepares teachers, youth workers, and other adults to train young people to make the positive interactions needed in peer helping.
Book Description
It is the first book to treat people pleasing as a serious psychological syndrome.
Customer Reviews:
Extremely well done, very helpful.......2007-10-05
As opposed to many self help books, Braiker has written a book that has substance instead of "rah-rah" fluff, and is very well written so you can actually apply the concepts into your daily life.
She does not assume that everyone has the same challenges. Reflecting that premise, at the beginning of most all sections she provides a list of questions for the reader to answer so they can tell how much they may or may not need the concepts that follow. You don't have to read it from start to finish. Instead, take the first test and jump right to sections that will provide you the most help.
Her ideas are very well thought out and clearly written. The "light turns on" as you read a paragraph and ponder how it applies to you.
If you want everyone to like you and it bothers you when they do not, or if you are addicted to pleasing your employer and work excessively, this is one of the first books I would read.
How to Grow Wiser and More Carefree.......2007-08-24
The title says it all. The late Harriet Braiker deserves accolades for delving into this mysterious self-destructive illness, the disease to please. By showing lots of examples, along with physical symptoms of heart disease, we learn the horrible toll that is exacted on its victims. Not only does she write well, she writes with a sense of urgency and caring which surpasses your average psyche book. There is modeling of "How to Say No", along with hints on spotting manipulators and stopping the disease before it spreads.
If Abused This Shoud Be Used.......2007-07-09
I have often thought that I might be some sort of habitual 'people pleaser' and have had that sentiment conveyed to me both in professional counseling sessions as well as casual conversations. Thus when I heard about this book and read some reviews of it I determined to take my first formal look at a thorough dissertaion on the subject of so-called 'people pleasing' and dove right in.
Before long it became clear to me that, though I may 'suffer' from a propensity to 'please' people, I did not fall into the syndrome as it was being portrayed in this work. The missing component for me was the lack of an abusive relationship or emasculating work environment.
Each chapter, though well documented and orderly in its presentation, made clear that the basic underlying assumption in the need to break out of the people pleasing mode was some assumed need to break free of a bad relationship or work situation.
Braiker details in each chapter how 'people pleasing' is both 1) self-defeating in that, in her view, it never results in having people be 'pleased' with you enough to justify your selfless actions as well as 2) such behavior serves only to embolden those who would take advantange of another person willing to give a little extra or do something without an expected quid pro quo agreed to in advance.
True, abusers thrive on the weaknesses of others but a willingness to treat people with unreciprocated kindness or to simply be generous and share whatever measure of good fortune one happens to enjoy is hardly psychopathic or self-destructive behavior.
I guess I'm just not that controlled by a 'need to please' so much as I am simply a generous person who believes it alright to defer to others and to share without prompting whatever material good fortunre I may have on a given day in my life.
If you think you are obessessed with the need to be well thought of and direct your daily life as well as your life plan to the goal of eing highly regarded by other people, this might be the book for you.
If you feel you do more than your share in a relationship or on the job but are not sufficiently rewarded with praise, this might be the book for you.
On the other hand, if you simply feel that not everyone appreciates you enough - including perfect strangers on the bus - then skip it. We live in a less than perfect world but that doesn't mean we should stop being nice to people or stop trying to do our best each and every time we step up to the plate at work or in an situation where our actions may be subjectively judged.
In short, it's alright to want people to like you and to do good deeds in hopes of garnering a measure of approval from others. Just don't get nailed to the cross or start muttering 'It's a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done...' before you trade places with someone on the way to guillotine.
self help therapy.......2007-01-11
excellent for understanding pleasing behaviors and dancing on stage to perform for others
Audio Version Only.......2006-12-22
This review is for the Audio Version only.
We've probably all had the experience of reading a letter with a tone not intended by the author, which resulted in a huge misunderstanding of the writer's intent. Well, the content of this book may actually be fine, but you may very well not gain any value from it should you purchase the audio version. Although the reader has clear, defined diction and well-measureed flow to her speech, she utilizes a snooty, condescending, and utterly acerbic tone throughout her reading of the book, making it almost impossible to listen to. It's like being scolded for 3 1/2 hours, and so relentlessly that you miss the message and hear only contempt.
Whilst going through this program I repeatedly had to stop the CD for the purpose of trying to picture the words in print. I would then realize that had I been reading the same text, I would not have intonated so nastily, and would then not find the content so utterly offensive.
I cannot say with any certainty to what degree the reader reflected the actual attitudes of the author. The author does express considerable disdain for people with easy-going dispositions, as well as those in middle management and other less lofty positions in the business world. It could be that the tone of her reading was exactly what was asked for.
On the other hand, people pleasers need to learn that they do not need to be liked by everyone. Therefore, having to endure the beration of the reader may well be good practice in not running away from uncomfortable feelings -- or in searching for a way to appease the displeased.
Whatever the case, those who have a problem with being pathologically nice may well have a problem with the audio version. That is way too bad, because audiobooks are so convenient for this sort of material. In this particular case, I warn against the audio edition. Read it instead.
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- The Euro, 2nd Edition
- The Euro, 2nd Edition
- The Feng Shui Kit: The Chinese Way to Health, Wealth, and Happiness at Home and at Work/Book and Kit
- The Inner Game of Work: Focus, Learning, Pleasure, and Mobility in the Workplace
Books Index
Books Home
Recommended Books
- Global Networks, Linked Cities
- The Tournament of Blood
- It's Still the Economy, Stupid : George W. Bush, The GOP's CEO
- Risk Management: Approaches for Fixed Income Markets
- Team of Rivals
- The Secret
- The Handbook of Exotic Options: Instruments, Analysis, and Application
- CONTABILIDAD TEORIA Y PRACTICA TOMO 1 PRINCIPIOS DE CONTABILIDAD SOLUCIONES DE LOS EJERCICIOS PRACTI
- Political Crises, Social Conflict And Economic Development: The Political Economy of the Andean Regi
- Palms of the south-west Pacific: Their origin, distribution, and description
Communications
| Skills
| Business & Investing
| Subjects
| Books
Too Nice for Your Own Good : How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes
The Power of Positive Confrontation: The Skills You Need to Know to Handle Conflicts at Work, at Home and in Life
Civilized Assertiveness for Women: Communication with Backbone...not Bite
Your Perfect Right: Assertiveness and Equality in Your Life and Relationships
When I Say No, I Feel Guilty
