Harvard Business Essentials Guide to Negotiation

Harvard Business Essentials Guide to Negotiation
Average customer rating:

good not great

Solid coverage of the basics of negotiation

Negotiating Fundamentals

Negotiation

Alternatives drive Fairness

Harvard Business Essentials Guide to Negotiation

Manufacturer: Harvard Business School Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books
Management | Harvard Business School Press | By Publisher | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books
Management | Management & Leadership | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books
Negotiating | Management & Leadership | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books
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Getting Past No

ASIN: 1591391113

Book Description

Negotiation-whether hammering out a great job offer, settling a dispute with a client, drafting a contract, or making trade-offs between business units-is both a necessary and challenging aspect of business life. In the business world, confident negotiators are always in high demand. Bringing a difficult negotiation to a successful conclusion can be one of the most exhilarating-and valuable-aspects of business today. Packed with practical advice and handy tools, Negotiation will help any manager sharpen skills and yield a sizable payoff. Contents include:

Preparing the necessary information before a negotiation

Managing multiparty negotiations

Assessing the position of the opposing side

Determining your sources of power and authority in a negotiation

Recognizing the barriers to agreement and how to overcome them

Plus, readers can access free interactive tools on the Harvard Business Essentials companion web site.

Series Adviser: Michael Watkins

Associate Professor Michael Watkins does research on negotiation and leadership. He is the coauthor of Right From the Start: Taking Charge in a New Leadership Role (HBS Press, 1999) and the author of Taking Charge in Your New Leadership Role: A Workbook (HBS Publishing, 2001), both of which examine how new leaders coming into senior management positions should spend their first six months on the job.

Harvard Business Essentials
The Reliable Source for Busy Managers
The Harvard Business Essentials series is designed to provide comprehensive advice, personal coaching, background information, and guidance on the most relevant topics in business. Drawing on rich content from Harvard Business School Publishing and other sources, these concise guides are carefully crafted to provide a highly practical resource for readers with all levels of experience. To assure quality and accuracy, each volume is closely reviewed by a specialized content adviser from a world class business school. Whether you are a new manager interested in expanding your skills or an experienced executive looking for a personal resource, these solution-oriented books offer reliable answers at your fingertips.

Customer Reviews:

good not great.......2007-05-09

fairly decent ideas on negotiation, nothing new here, but would be helpful for people new to negotiation.

Solid coverage of the basics of negotiation.......2007-01-18

As part of the 17-title Harvard Business Essentials series, launched in 2002, this book solidly covers the basics of negotiation. The clarity of the explanations, range of examples and methodical exposition make it a very useful reference for the beginner or mid-level negotiator. Don't let the very rationality of the book's approach make you think that negotiation is easy. It's just that these instructions make it understandable and accessible. Harvard's expert doesn't dwell on the pressures negotiators face and the resultant anxieties, or give a lot of space to the emotional complexity of dealing with money issues with family or friends. Instead, this is a solid, no-detours, nuts-and-bolts manual. We recommend this book as a primer for up-and-coming or partially experienced negotiators. Start here; when you master this solid base, you can polish your skills with something more advanced.

Negotiating Fundamentals.......2006-12-21

The "Harvard Business Essentials Guide to Negotiation" is an excellent introductory book for laying out the essential basic elements of successful negotiations. Step-by-step, the book explains the necessary skills that one requires to carry out effective negotiations.

The book explains the distinction between distributive and integrative negotiation. Distributive bargaining seeks to divide up a fixed amount of resources resulting in a win-lose situation whereas integrative bargaining seeks one or more settlements that can result in win-win outcomes. Integrative bargaining is preferable to distributive bargaining because integrative process builds long-term relationships and facilitates being future partners. It bonds negotiators and enables them to leave the negotiating process feeling that they have all won. The reason why distributive bargaining is prevalent in organizations is that parties are often not open with information and neither are they candid about their concerns. There is often lack of trust and empathy.

The book also describes the concept of BATNA, that is, the best alternative to a negotiated agreement or the lowest acceptable value to an individual for a negotiated agreement. Any offer that you receive that is higher than your BATNA is good and by the same token, you cannot expect the other party to accept an offer that is lower than their BATNA.

The book also highlights other essential elements to a successful negotiation including the need to prepare and plan, being clear about the ground rules, justifying issues on the negotiating table, bargaining and resolving conflicts as well as closure and implementation

The book is well written and is easy to understand and follow. Recommended reading for beginners to negotiation.

Negotiation.......2006-11-10

I think these types of books work better when they diagram and use modeling as a method to teach. Like many books I read, there was a sense of repetitiveness. I think overall it is a good introductory book for negotiation skills, but not what I was looking for.

Alternatives drive Fairness.......2006-11-05

An excellent primer on negotiation. This text defines negotiation and then becomes an 'essential' 'how to' text with a wealth of information. From preparation to 'table tactics' through 'tips and traps', this book helps unfold the fundamental truth of negotiation - alternatives drive fairness.

Average customer rating:

enjoyable textbook
Hits all the high points, doesn't dumb things down.
Best general overview of negotiation

Essentials of Negotiation
Roy J Lewicki , Bruce Barry , and David M Saunders
Manufacturer: McGraw-Hill/Irwin
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Communications | Skills | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books

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ASIN: 0073102768

Book Description

ESSENTIALS OF NEGOTIATION, 4e is a short paperback derivative from the main text, NEGOTIATION, 5e. It explores the major concepts and theories of the psychology of bargaining and negotiation, and the dynamics of interpersonal and inter-group conflict and its resolution. Fourteen of the 20 chapters from the main text have been included (about half have been shortened by about 1/3) for this volume. Chapters are shortened by removing more 'academic' material and some of the boxes. This effectively leaves the message and theories of negotiation intact.

Customer Reviews:

enjoyable textbook.......2007-02-02

Do you ever check a course syllabus and think, "I have to read three chapters of the text for next class!?!" No worries here. This textbook is not only worth reading, you'll actually look forward to each chapter. btw, if "Getting to Yes" isn't required, read it before your negotiations class starts. Many texts and articles published since GTY was written tip their hats before proceeding.

Hits all the high points, doesn't dumb things down........2005-09-27

"Essentials of Negotiation" is the popular market version of "Negotiation," which is a texbook. This one is more of a handbook for actual negotiators. The advantages of "Essentials" is that it is streamlined (making it a better intro for beginners or refresher for experienced negotiators) and less expensive. It still includes all the major topics you want to see: distributive bargaining, integrative bargaining, psychology of negotiations (including some communications tactics), ethics, and some int'l stuff. It also has a good index, making it a nice reference tool.

While it has lots of stories and examples to help readers remember concepts, my favorite feature of this book is that the author doesn't talk down to his audience. Lewicki uses technical jargon when it is appropriate (he also explains it). That precision has value, in my opinion. People who are completely new to a study of negotiation might prefer "Getting Past No" by Ury, which is also very good but perhaps more accessible. Those with some, even minimal, experience would be well-served by this book.

Good luck!

Best general overview of negotiation.......1999-12-01

I have done my doctoral dissertation in negotiation and have read hundred of books and articles in this subject. "Essential of Negotiation" is the best general book dealing with negotiation. Great coverage of the subject. No doubt it is a great investment for practitioners and academics. You will not regret!

Average customer rating:

Arbitration: Essential Concepts
Steven C. Bennett
Manufacturer: ALM Publishing/ALM Inc.
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books

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Basic Skills for the New Arbitrator, Second Edition
Alternative Dispute Resolution In A Nutshell, 2nd Ed. (NUTSHELL SERIES)
The Arbitrator's Handbook
Mediator's Handbook
JUST CAUSE: THE SEVEN TESTS, 3RD EDITION

ASIN: 0970597088

Book Description

Though common in today's economy, arbitration remains relatively remote from the daily practices of most lawyers. This comprehensive handbook offers a thorough introduction to the fundamental concepts and materials for both lawyers and businesspeople. Suitable both as a primer for students and a refresher text for those involved with arbitration-related issues, this guide discusses the law, its history, and relevant case law. Also included is practical advice on how to construct an arbitration clause and decipher related statutes and regulations, as well as a discussion of labor and employment, securities, and international arbitration.

Architect's Essentials of Contract Negotiation (The Architect's Essentials of Professional Practice)

Average customer rating:

A true contribution to the architectural profession
ESSENTIAL to say the least
Valuable Advice for Either Side of the Table.
a great book about negotiation and communication
Better than Getting To Yes

Architect's Essentials of Contract Negotiation (The Architect's Essentials of Professional Practice)
Ava J. Abramowitz
Manufacturer: Wiley
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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Architecture: The Story of a Practice

ASIN: 0471443654

Book Description

For architects, negotiation is explicit in every aspect of practice, just as it is implicit in every aspect of design. And now you can develop or refine the negotiation skills you need with the help of this concise, easy-to-follow guide. Written by an acknowledged expert in the field, this volume in the Professional Practice Series offers accessible, practical coverage of contract negotiation essentials related to growth, expansion, new management, internal transitions, mergers, acquisitions, liquidations, retirement, and more. Also, like all the books in this series, the information you'll find here is expressly tailored to the needs of the design professional.

Customer Reviews:

A true contribution to the architectural profession.......2006-12-21

Ava Abramovitz has distilled her years of experience as attorney, advisor and mediator into a wonderfully readable book. Her insights and suggestions will benefit every architect who has strugged with uncertainty during contract negotiations. A wonderful addition to our professional library.

ESSENTIAL to say the least.......2006-09-20

Did you know that negotiation can be taught? Most architects do not understand that the rest of the world NEGOTIATES. This book is absolutely ESSENTIAL to the business end of architecture, as well as to life. How do you handle a client who wants full ownership of documents? Do you know what liability that can open you and your firm up to?! Do your key employees know how to negotiate? What about negotiating design? Are all aspects of the design so important that you're willing to walk away from the job, the client and future work; or do you know how to negotiate a win-win situation? This book is for ANYONE in the firm who is in direct contact with the client or other representatives of the client. GET AND READ THIS BOOK! (It will even help with non-professional relationships.)

Valuable Advice for Either Side of the Table........2004-03-03

Contract negotiations are often tedious and frustrating. This book was refreshingly useful because it laid out strategies for achieving desired negotitated results. The book's advice and approach can be applied with profit to any contract negotiations, but it's examples are based on negotiating the complicated agreements between Owners and Architects. I've used it with success to explain the Architect's needs and concerns to Owners and, just as frequently, I've used it when representing Owners to explain why a certain compromise and position in negotiations with Architects makes sense. It is a book with balanced advice on how to negotiate in general and how to do so in particular in the Owner/Architect context. It's many specific examples and suggested solutions to typical negotiation issues have saved me hours of time attempting to articulate to opposing counsel or my clients what the author has already compiled in this book.

I've found its contents so useful that I've taught portions of seminars to Architects, Contractors and Owners using lessons and insights taken from the book. The attendees always have commented favorably on the concrete, practical advice they have learned from those portions of the seminar.

This is a valuable book. If you're involved in any negotiations, especially construction, it is worth purchasing.

a great book about negotiation and communication.......2003-08-12

I teach architecture students a course on professional practice and have made Architect's Essentials of Contract Negotiation required reading. Of all the sources I've read on this topic, Ava Abramowitz offers the most accessible and well-reasoned explanations of what every design professional must understand about negotiation (and communication).

Abramowitz's many years of experience as a counselor, teacher and mentor to architects has clearly given her insight into how architects think, and she uses this insight to great effect. My students enjoy reading this text (especially Chapters 3&4) because it connects to the way they see the world (and helps focus that vision) in language that rings true. Don't be fooled by the word "Contracts" in the title; this is a great book about architects and negotiation in general and one that I believe all architects should own.

Better than Getting To Yes.......2003-05-03

I am not an architect, but I loved this book. It clearly laid out steps real people can take to negotiate tough problems -- whether construction-related or not. The chapter on communication skills and the one on dispute resolution alone were worth the price of the book. In fact, I would say, as a senior manager of a growing business, that anyone who seeks to accomplish anything important in any business would benefit from the information this book contains. It should be required reading for all.

Essential Lawyering Skills: Interviewing, Counseling, Negotiation, and Persuasive Fact Analysis (Coursebook)

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Essential Lawyering Skills: Interviewing, Counseling, Negotiation, and Persuasive Fact Analysis (Coursebook)
Stefan H. Krieger , and Richard K. Neumann
Manufacturer: Aspen Publishers
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0735528063

The Book of Agreement: 10 Essential Elements for Getting the Results You Want

Average customer rating:

Comprehensible concepts from an expert in the field
Finally, a practical book for the real world
From the author of "Teamwork Is An Individual Skill"
It's all about the agreements
The Book of Agreement: An Inspiring Gift!

The Book of Agreement: 10 Essential Elements for Getting the Results You Want
Stewart Levine
Manufacturer: Berrett-Koehler Publishers
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 1576751791

Book Description

For many people, negotiating an agreement is an adversarial process. But in this book, conflict resolution expert Stewart Levine shows how to design agreements collaboratively to reflect a clear joint vision of the desired outcome and produce results.

The Book of Agreement provides ten powerful tools for creating successful agreements together. These tools help both parties clarify expectations, establish standards, and build partnership. Also included are more than 25 agreement templates that cover all areas of life. Professional templates include financial planners, realtors, therapists, consultants, and engineers; personal templates include spouses and domestic partners, children, and parents.

Customer Reviews:

Comprehensible concepts from an expert in the field.......2006-06-26

We all know of stories where businesses, families and communities went down the drain because the involved parties were locked into years of conflict. In this book, Stewart Levine provides an insightful framework and applications for resolutions that can be put to practice immediately; sort of a 15-Minute Gourmet Resolutions recipe book.

A must read for anyone trying to get the most out of relationships.

Finally, a practical book for the real world.......2003-04-17

The Book of Agreement is the first practical book on how to realize the potential of really working together in the world, at the office, or in the home. Stewart Levine outlines the amazingly simple, and yet so powerful, 10 elements that actually produce"agreements for results". Following this by example after example of people who actually made this work. I found this book to not only be worth my time, but such a time saver that I got copies for everyone in th office. I even sent copies out to my family.

From the author of "Teamwork Is An Individual Skill".......2003-04-12

Add this book to your shelf of most important references--like your dictionary and your "Windows for Idiots" guide--and consult it often. Your life, relationships, and career will improve immeasurably.

Stuart Levine's first book "Getting to Resolution" is the best I've read on resolving conflict. I think I know a thing or two about agreements. So I read the review copy of this new book, supplied by his publicist, with mixed emotion. I know and love Stewart, we have the same publisher, I'm thrilled his great second book is out, and he taught me good stuff about resolving conflict (we also shared an excellent glass of Merlot last year in Santa Fe, but that's a story for another day). But, just what can Levine teach this veteran partnering consultant about making and keeping agreements?

A thing or two, it turns out.

Let's start with what's critical to learn if you don't already know it.

Consider Levine's Principle #2, "We work and live in a 'sea' (context) of agreements." Do you realize all relationship behavior is governed by implicit or explicit agreements? Someone can't even push your hot-buttons unless you and they have established by implicit agreement that "those" buttons are indeed hot and that you will explode if they are tweaked in a certain way. And you know "Shhh, don't tell a soul"
implicitly means "keep this to yourself as well as I'm keeping it to myself." Even a chain of command is full of implicit agreements about norms like who can and can't tell whom what to do, who can and can't evaluate another's performance, who can and can't make decisions, etc. If you've worked in one hierarchy, you pretty much can move from organization to organization and quickly grasp the nuances of the culture. Why? Because you understand, experientially, the sea of implicit agreements.

You buy into, if not invent, these implicit agreements, and then live by them whether you like it or not. It's your own doing. So you might then consider Levine's Principle #3, "We never learned the essential elements of an effective agreement." I believe people clamor for control because they lack the learned power of agreement-making. It's much easier to just boss folks around. But it's far more powerful and rewarding to make what Levine calls "agreements for results." That's a lot of what TeamWisdom (a term from my work) is about.

So what do you do? You learn the essential elements of an effective agreement, then put them to use. Repeat. Improve. Repeat. Improve. Levine shows you how.

Just as he did in his first book, Levine gives us the foundation first and the practice second. He starts with the Basic Law of Agreement ("Collaboration is established in language by making implicit and explicit agreements"), then offers ten principles, and then ten elements of effective agreements. Elements include things like roles, time and value, measures of satisfaction, etc. Later in the book, he uses these ten elements to fashion templates and illustrate agreements for different situations (like employment agreements, sales agreements, performance appraisal agreements, feedback agreements, and many more).

The strength of this book is in combining his original concepts with his applications. For instance Levine identifies the difference between agreements for protecting your interests and agreements for results. The first is what you hire lawyers to do in writing contracts; he knows,
Levine practiced law for years. He shows you how to make agreements for results and protect your interests. Levine also provides application after application after application. More than half the book is devoted to templates for agreements for results in organizations, associations, communities, families, cultures, marriages, and more. Be sure to practice the new Levine U MBA -- managing by agreement. You'll also want to read his section on training your lawyer how to make agreements for results.

The Book of Agreement makes a terrific companion to "Teamwork Is An Individual Skill: Getting Your Work Done When Sharing Responsibility"

It's all about the agreements.......2003-03-31

As a conflict mediator, I have found The Book of Agreement by Stewart Levine to be extremely insightful for me personally and particularly helpful in working with my clients. His book will help us all create effective relationships in our lives. A must read.

The Book of Agreement: An Inspiring Gift!.......2003-03-26

The Book of Agreement is profoundly simple yet extremely useful in its application to many varieties of situations/relationships requiring dependable and reliable solutions toward fullfilling significant goals.
Stewart Levine's capacity to provide a means by which conflicts can be resolved, not only allows the reader the ability to do so for him/herself, but it also provides great insight into understanding (which is a wonderful gift).

Pitching to Venture Capitalists: Essential Strategies for Approaching VCs, Entering Into Negotiations and Securing Funding

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Pitching to Venture Capitalists: Essential Strategies for Approaching VCs, Entering Into Negotiations and Securing Funding
Patrick J. Ennis
Manufacturer: Aspatore Books
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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Angel Investing: Matching Startup Funds with Startup Companies -- A Guide for Entrepreneurs, Individual Investors, and Venture Capitalists

ASIN: 1596220023

Book Description

Any venture capitalist will tell you that there is, of course, a right way and a wrong way to approach VCs for funding. In "Pitching to Venture Capitalists" seasoned VC Patrick Ennis walks readers through the entire process, from initial research to troubleshooting failed attempts at securing financing - beginning to end. Topics covered include everything from the basics of VC funding to key methodology behind valuations, wrapping up with "simple advice for error-free approaches." Through a candid and engaging commentary, Ennis offers indispensable advice and takes the guesswork out of entering into the VC/entrepreneur relationship for those who need a briefing. Offering a wealth of insight on strategies for success, building a winning presentation and understanding the processes VC undergo when evaluating deals, this book is indispensable reading for any entrepreneur. Complete with a sample outline of a term sheet, this book covers the essential elements in conceptualizing a lucid and effective way to present your business to those who can make it happen…have your first conversation with a VC before you even enter the negotiating process and gain a critical advantage against competitors.

The book features information on:
The Basics of VC Funding
Approaching a Venture Capital Firm
Presenting a Business Plan
General Valuation Methods
Maintaining the Partnership after the Deal Closes
Investments in the Post-Boom Era
Troubleshooting - Getting Turned Down
Simple Advice for Error-Free Approaches

Download Description

Any venture capitalist will tell you that there is, of course, a right way and a wrong way to approach VCs for funding. In Pitching to Venture Capitalists [please italicize "pitching to venture capitalists"] seasoned VC Patrick Ennis walks readers through the entire process, from initial research to troubleshooting failed attempts at securing financing - beginning to end. Topics covered include everything from the basics of VC funding to key methodology behind valuations, wrapping up with "simple advice for error-free approaches." Through a candid and engaging commentary, Ennis offers indispensable advice and takes the guesswork out of entering into the VC/entrepreneur relationship for those who need a briefing. Offering a wealth of insight on strategies for success, building a winning presentation and understanding the processes VC undergo when evaluating deals, this book is indispensable reading for any entrepreneur. Complete with a sample outline of a term sheet, this book covers the essential elements in conceptualizing a lucid and effective way to present your business to those who can make it happen.have your first conversation with a VC before you even enter the negotiating process and gain a critical advantage over competitors.

The Essentials Of Negotiation (Business Literacy for Hr Professionals)

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The Essentials Of Negotiation (Business Literacy for Hr Professionals)
The Society for Human Resource Management
Manufacturer: Harvard Business School Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books

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ASIN: 1591395747

Book Description

This hands-on book explains the basics of how to prepare for and conduct a negotiation, and offers specific strategies for negotiating effectively with employees, bosses, customers, vendors, and other key groups HR professionals consistently work with.

Today's HR professionals work side by side with senior executives to devise a strategy for their organizations and to marshal the talent and resources to implement it. That means going beyond the traditional HR domain and mastering the fundamentals of all aspects of business and management. The Business Literacy for HR Professionals series, developed in conjunction with the Society for Human Resource Management, is designed to help HR professionals do exactly that. Covering essential areas such as negotiation, decision making, change management, finance, and more, these highly practical books will help HR professionals in their goal to be true strategic partners who bring additional bottom line value to their organizations.

How to Negotiate with Kids . . . Even if You Think You Shouldn't: 7 Essential Skills to End Conflict and Bring More Joy into Your Family

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Great - Simply Put
Most useful parenting book on my shelf
For me, a life-changing book
Quick Help
required reading

How to Negotiate with Kids . . . Even if You Think You Shouldn't: 7 Essential Skills to End Conflict and Bring More Joy into Your Family
Scott Brown
Manufacturer: Viking Adult
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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Judge Judy Sheindlin's Win or Lose by How You Choose!

Accessories:

Braun IRT 4020 ThermoScan Ear Thermometer

ASIN: 0670031828
Release Date: 2003-02-24

Book Description

A vast readership awaits How to Negotiate with Kids. It addresses some of today's top parenting concerns: how to deal with a child who disagrees, how to avoid being either an ogre or a pushover, and-most of all-how to handle conflicts in ways that build lasting relationships with children.

Scott Brown, a founding member of the world-famous Harvard Negotiation Project, coauthor of Getting Together, and a father of four, has found that parents face the same dilemmas as negotiators everywhere. Now he has adapted his highly acclaimed techniques to teach parents how to:

€ manage their own emotions and reactions during conflict
€ manage their children's emotions and strengthen their emotional control
€ listen in ways that will build understanding
€ negotiate solutions to common problems
€ teach their children to be problem solvers
€ learn when not to negotiate
€ discipline wisely

Personal anecdotes, stories from Brown's workshop families, and sample dialogues of "right" and "wrong" approaches make How to Negotiate with Kids an essential tool for parents who want to reduce conflict and strengthen their families in ways that will protect their children's emotional health and happiness.

Customer Reviews:

Great - Simply Put.......2003-09-22

I'm a young mother of a 4-year daughter going through the hard times of divorce. At this difficult time of her life, it becomes even more important to develop strong structure in our home and build a stronger relationship that can withstand the dividedness of divorce. This book helps us deal with difficult situations that arise that seemed like such small issues when married - and also has great stories any parent can relate to and laugh at. Thanks Mr. Scott Brown!!

Most useful parenting book on my shelf.......2003-05-14

I have to admit to being somewhat skeptical about this book's premise. After all, most of the parenting books I've read lately tend to dwell on the importance of strict rules, discipline, and the pitfalls of being a pushover parent. Given that, what's to negotiate?

Actually, a lot of things. After a certain age, I found it physically impossible to "make" my child do anything. On the few occasions I tried, usually because of perceived lack of time or energy, the net effect was a much greater cost of time and energy for both of us. Of greatest concern to me, however, was the potential for damage to our long-term relationship. Eventually I came to realize that the negotiation approach is the only way to realize a happy, peaceful domestic life, and had been (perhaps subconsciously) using it to help my child behave more responsibly. Mr. Brown's book helped me view these interactions as part of a well-understood process, and provided me with some valuable new tools to employ. I would highly recommend it to any parent.

By the way, the techniques covered in the book are equally effective with other family members (such as one's spouse!)

For me, a life-changing book.......2003-05-10

Scott Brown has given my life with my children more perspective than any other book. This book is amazing, and yet, nothing in there is all that earth-shattering.

I took away from the book a few key points:

1. Keep your emotions in check.
2. Don't respond emotionally to your child, but do show your emotions (read the book to find out how!)
3. Name yours and your child's emotions
4. Truly try to understand what is going on in your child's head -- and don't guess why, ASK!
5. Involve your child in decision-making -- and this includes when you decide the consequences!
6. Persuade, don't coerce, your child to see your point.
7. Be willing to be flexible and allow your child to change your mind.

I had a revelation as I read the book that the way he talks about handling your children is how I handle conflict at work. At work, and even in my personal life (other than the kids) -- I am pretty universally known as a consensus-builder. I never force people to do what I want them to do, but I work really hard at persuading people to work with me to come up with a win-win solution for all of us. Yet with my kids, I yell at them to do what I want, when I want, how I want. I don't treat them, and their opinions, with the respect I give my co-workers and friends! How sad is that?

The best thing about the book is in the description of conflicts that we all have with our kids, and the way the same situation could have been solved using his methods. All the arguments are so accurately written that I actually laughed out loud (and was sometimes a little sad). When Brown re-wrote the scenario, using a negotiation method, it all made perfect sense. Does it take longer to negotiate? Yes. Is it really hard to keep your emotions in check? Unbelievably! But it really seems to work.

In short, buy this book. I intend to buy copies for everyone I know.

Quick Help.......2003-03-05

An easy read that can change the way you interact with children immediately. The sample negotiations are realistic, practical and engaging. So many books of this ilk are too preachy or verbose; not only is the book helpful, but it is enjoyable to read.

required reading.......2003-03-04

Scott Brown's book should be required reading for every parent out there. As a parent of 3 young children I found his advice practical and very helpful. His examples made me laugh out loud as I could relate to all of them. "How to Negoitate with Kids" is a wonderful book.

Australian Essential Dispute Resolution 2/e (Australian Essentials)

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Australian Essential Dispute Resolution 2/e (Australian Essentials)
David Spencer
Manufacturer: Routledge Cavendish
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 1876905301

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