Amazon.com
Recipe for a perfect village murder mystery: Start with one pristine British hamlet, stir in the murder of the local police chief, add a shrewd local member of the clergy and a detective from Scotland Yard; season with a dash of clandestine romance. In her latest, Deborah Crombie cooks up the perfect example of the genre. In this offering the hamlet is called Holmbury St. Mary, the murder victim was a widely-hated bully and the vicar is a woman. A delicious concoction.
Customer Reviews:
No One Mourns a Division Commander........2007-05-29
Deborah Crombie's "Mourn Not Your Dead," is the fourth entry in the fascinating English police procedural. Old love, new love, young loves, forbidden loves, and twisted loves bounce against each other as Sergent Glenna James and Supt. Duncan Kincaid struggle to find their way through a quagmire of reluctant suspects and witnesses.
Their search uncovers threads reaching into higher ranks of Scotland Yard but who killed Divisional Commander Alastair Gilbert and why remains out of reach until the last pages of the well plotted story. Each new addition to this series is a fresh presentation, alive with vivid details and complex characters.
Nash Black, author of "Qualifying Laps" and "Taxes, Stumbling Blocks & Pitfalls for Authors 2007."
An Exercise in Slow Motion and Many Detours.......2004-08-27
I chanced upon this book not knowing that Ms Crombie has built a following in the three preceding police novels featuring the Kinkaid/Gemma (un)relationship. With an untrained eye I followed this psychological drama which reflects the faults and virtues of the investigators in inverse order. If Gemma is right, Kincaid will grudgingly admit it and Kinkaid can seldom be right in Gemma's temperamental judgment. Their difficulties seem to be resolved, for the time being at least by successful mountain climbing.
Quite apart from this thread, the investigation of the murder of a former colleague proceeds very slowly and has to pass many a false clue and eventually leads to a complicated solution. Much as I admire the description of Metro police procedures, I find fault with the plausibility of the motives of the killer. Psychology, so ably applied to the Kinkaid/Gemma relationship and in respect of some of many suspects, fails Ms Crombie in this regard. But read for yourself, perhaps you can sympathise more with her dilemma.
Good Story.......2004-08-11
The stories about Kincaid and Jones are getting better. This one brings a believable resolution to the relationship problems between the detective and his sargeant. The pacing is irregular but overall a good book.
I higly recommend this to any fan of the Scotland Yard genre.
An Excellent Book in this series........2003-12-09
At first I wasn't enjoying Gemma and Duncan Kincaid, but the series has been getting better with each entry, and this book is the best so far. My biggest complaint in the previous entries was that Duncan Kincaid seemed to be a "lame duck". In this book we find a stronger, more rounded Kincaid, and it certainly makes the book better. This is a stylish mystery done in the British procedural style. We have Duncan and Gemma investigating the brutal murder of a high-ranking police officer. The murder places them in the middle of a small English Village (Surrey). Village politics are apparent here, but there is also danger and psychological undercurrents, and before Duncan and Jemma can solve the case they are placed right in the middle of this, and at imminent danger to themselves. This is a solid police procedural.
excellent mystery in excellent series.......2003-06-19
If you like well-plotted, well-written police procedurals served up with a healthy dollop of character-driven writing, pick up this and all the other books is this engaging series. You'll find yourself equally interested in the solving the crime and in the personal relationship between crime-fighting partners Gemma James and Duncan Kinkaid.
Average customer rating:
- Wonderful compendium! Why out of print????
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Complete Films of William S. Hart
Diane Kaiser Koszarski
Manufacturer: Dover Publications Inc.
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
 Performing Arts
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ASIN: 0486238636 |
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Wonderful compendium! Why out of print????.......2006-07-16
I live near Newhall, CA, William S. Hart's old stomping grounds, and there are lots of Hart fans out this way. What a treat when I discovered this wonderful compendium of ALL of Hart's movies! Each movie has a plot information, production notes, and best of all, great photos! How Ms. Koszarski managed to track down information and photos from these films, when, as far as I know, most are unavailable, is a testament to her archeological abilities.
I am surprised that this 1980 book is no longer in print, because there's none other like it. For fans of Bill Hart, this is a must-have. I would love to see this republished, for when my used copy becomes too dog-eared.
Book Description
Overly emotional, hysterical, dependent, frivolous, fickle... Why have women been so consistently defined as deficient in maturity, self-mastery, and independence according to the models of human development inspired by male culture? The authors of WOMEN'S GROWTH IN CONNECTION, a sampling of the influential working papers from the Stone Center, Wellesley College, have sought to answer this question by studying developmental theory and reformulating it to reflect women's experience more accurately. These papers, about women's ways of being in the world, frame an innovative relational perspective on women's psychological development. The authors--clinicians, clinical supervisors, and teachers--have been searching for therapeutic models that take into account women's meaning systems, values, and organization of experiences, all of which often revolves around relationships rather than the self. By offering a new perspective on women's development, WOMEN'S GROWTH IN CONNECTION stands at the forefront of the ongoing feminist movement to examine and reshape psychological theory and practice. The authors offer this volume as an invitation to the reader to join in the building of new models of women's development.
Book Description
First in a trilogy, Merry Hall is the account of the restoration of a house and garden in post-war England. Though Mr. Nichols's horticultural undertaking is serious, his writing is high-spirited, riotously funny, and, at times, deliciously malicious.
Customer Reviews:
It was okay.......2007-05-19
I want to give my honest opinion of this book. I have never read anything else by this author. While it was entertaining, I found it to get just a little more drawn out than I would have liked. I also did not like his viewpoints on some of the different plants. I guess you just need to take it in stride, but when he characterizes some of your favorite plants as nuisances (or more), etc. it is a little irritating. I did enjoy it, but I don't think I'll read him again. I wanted to give this review, since everyone seems to have LOVED this book but me.
Charming, Engaging Read.......2006-08-23
The first volume of a trilogy about the author's time at Merry Hall, this book is more humorous garden writing than strict autobiography. We know (primarily from the dust jacket) that Beverley Nichols was a widely-travelled journalist and prolific author, but aside from the occasional mention that he needs to keep working (hard) to pay the (very high) bills, Nichols doesn't mention his life outside of Merry Hall or, more specifically, its garden.
The book begins after WWII, when Mr. Nichols returns from "a job" in India to a ravaged London and develops an overwhelming urge to move to the country and get back to nature in the form of a hopefully large and preferably derelict garden that he can "rescue". After a daunting (and amusingly described) search he miraculously finds what he considers to be a dream property - a Georgian manor house on 5 acres of truly hideous landscaping.
With wry wit Nichols tells the story of acquiring the property against the better judgement of friends, and of what is involved in making a run-down manor house habitable, and in dismantling, re-ordering and re-planting 5 acres of gardens. Along the way we meet Oldfield, the very talented but taciturn and somewhat difficult gardener; Gaskin, the long-standing and nearly superhuman manservant; Miss Emily and Our Rose, nosy and perpetually disapproving neighbors; and the beloved cats One and Four.
Although avid gardeners will no doubt love this book as they mentally compare notes with the author, one need not have ever dirtied one's hands with compost to enjoy reading it. The narrative meanders like a leisurely stroll in the garden, and Mr. Nichols' faith in the therapeutic powers of gardening is reminiscent of that in The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett). The author's fond and poetic descriptions of the various aspects of his garden, intermingled with his sharp social observations and dry British humor make this a thoroughly enjoyable read. I have already ordered the other two books in the trilogy.
An additional note: this is a facsimile of the original 1951 edition; it contains lovely line drawings throughout, and is printed on the nicest paper I have encountered in a long time.
passing the torch.......2003-04-26
Just as Trollope passed the literary torch to Angela Thirkell, so did E. F. Benson pass his to this good fellow! Mr. Nichols' trilogy about Merry Hall is so entertaining, even though at times he comes across as a bit "twee". As you get to know him and his neighbors through the books, you come to realize that yes, some things are more important in your own blinkered surroundings than in the big wide world. I would recommend these books to anyone who loves gardening (on a grand scale), gossip, and the minutiae of life.
A book that stays with you.......2002-04-17
I first read Merry Hall over 30 years ago, and having recently re-read it I was impressed by how much an impression it had made on me. Many a time I have unknowingly quoted from the work, thinking the quote apocryphal!
You must read for yourself how to deal with an overgrown holly hedge, and how to plant hundreds of trees without buying them, and what berberis can do for you, and why you should cultivate periwinkle...
I'm sure you'll be delighted with the finely drawn sketches of the real people populating the story: the characters of gardeners, society ladies, and men who work for the government in a clearly covert and somewhat sinister capacity. You'll enjoy the cats, the lilies, and how to create an English country garden from a neglected and ill directed site.
The gentle humor reflects the gentler times before the horrors of World War 2 brought violence, destruction, and death into the hearts and homes of most of Britain.
This book is a keeper!
Practical prose...........2001-01-07
Beverly Nichols, author of MERRY HALL says the love of gardening involves the love of art, the love of love, and the love of death. Following his experiences in WWII, Nichols retired to the English countryside to restore himself mentally, physically, and spiritually. He doesn't inform the reader directly of his background (I know this from having read some biographical material from other sources), but he had another life before he bought the house and grounds describes in his trilogy beginning with MERRY HALL. He was a journalist and writer, and during WWII he spent some time abroad in His Majesty's Service.
To the unknowing, Nichols narrative may seem a bit too cheerful, frivolous, or shallow, but his book is intended to entertain the reader--this is gardening mind you not the aftermath of war. To the extent he able to do so, Nichols kept the events in the DAILY MAIL out of his gardening books. As a result, some readers today can mistakenly think him an English prig who had no concern for life outside his own back yard.
MERRY HALL begins one afternoon when Nichols and his 'man' Gaskin stumble across a derelict Georgian manor house and it's grounds. Nichols is overcome with a desire to restore the house and rebuild the grounds. He has been living in London and until that fateful day was more or less settled, but now he wants to "move beyond the Tudor world" and into the world of the Georgian Manor House. He buys Merry Hall and thus begins his adventure.
MERRY HALL was written about six years into the project. By that time Nichols had undertaken the restoration of the foul smelling pond just off the music room and won the support of the able Oldfield, the gardener who came with the house and grounds. The book is an interesting mixture of personal anectdote, observations about the various neighbors who have their own opinions of what Nichols ought to restore the house and grounds, insights into elements of garden design, practical advice about various bulbs, shrubs, garden ornaments such as urns and benches, and observations about greenhouses and cats.
Average customer rating:
- We Have to Talk: Healing Dialogues Between Men & Women
- Another Pearl
- Some useful tips, but not a book for everybody
- Wish I had read it 10 years ago!
- It Worked For Me...
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We Have to Talk : Healing Dialogues Between Men and Women
Samuel Shem , and
Janet L. Surrey
Manufacturer: Basic Books
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An Update on Adult Development Theory: New Ways of Thinking About the Life Course: New Directions for Adult and Continuing Education (J-B ACE Single Issue ... Adult & Continuing Education)
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The Complexity of Connection: Writings from the Stone Center's Jean Baker Miller Training Institute
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ASIN: 0465091148 |
Amazon.com
Most popular books about relationships stress gender differences: We're from different planets, we don't understand each other, our words have different meanings, and so forth. This book asserts that we can understand our differences and get past them, replacing isolation with connection in a healthy, growth-fostering relationship. The authors call this "getting to 'we.'"
Shem and Surrey have worked with more than 20,000 men, women, boys, and girls. We hear workshop participants using "gender dialogue": asking questions to aid in understanding and reconnecting, such as "Name three strengths the other gender group brings to relationships," "What do you most want to understand about the other gender group?", and "What do you most want the other gender group to understand about you?"
"Disconnections between men and women are inevitable--no one ever gets it right the first time, or all the time," say the authors. "It's not only what you do that matters, it's what you do next." This book gives insights into our differences--such as men's "relational dread" and women's "relational yearning," and how to move past conflict to collaboration. The chapter "How Couples Grow" is invaluable, describing a detailed process to work through impasses and rediscover the "we" in your relationship. --Joan Price
Book Description
Samuel Shem and Janet Surrey, a remarkable husband-and-wife team, challenge the popular wisdom that men and women must resign themselves to inherent differences. They outline a program of dialogues that help couples move beyond superficial harmony to genuine connection.
"We have to talk." For many men, these are the four worst words in the English language. But it doesn't have to be that way, argue Samuel Shem and Janet Surrey in their path-breaking and practical new book.
Shem and Surrey use their popular workshops where couples speak intimately about anger, guilt, resentment, shame, and sex to explore the impasses that confront men and women due to the vastly different developmental paths that they travel. And we see couples bridge those gaps to emerge from isolation into mutuality.
Filled with moving stories and practical information, We Have to Talk shatters the Rules and proves that men and women aren't from different planets, after all.
Customer Reviews:
We Have to Talk: Healing Dialogues Between Men & Women.......2006-05-20
This book challenges the prevailing theories about how men and women are different suggesting that these differences are socialized rather than intrinsic. In this book the authors show what is possible between men and women in terms of having mutual and deep connections by nurturing the "We" rather than the I & you. The concept of seeing ourselves as part of a "We" that needs to be cultivated is revolutionary and filled with promise.
Another Pearl.......2002-03-11
"We Have to Talk" is a good read, almost too good, and I was left wondering how much was fiction and how much was non-fiction. Is Samuel Shem deliberately teasing us in using identical passages in his work of fiction "Mount Misery" and his later release ( with Janet Surrey) "We Have to Talk"?
"We Have to Talk" (pg. 83)
Kate: Where shall we go to dinner?
Mitch: Let's go to Miguel's.
Kate: How `bout Pintemento
Mitch: Okay, let's go to Pintemento.
Kate: (after a pause) But it sounded like you wanted to go to Miguel's.
Mitch: No, no, it's okay-let's go where you want to go.
Kate: But I want to go where you want to go too.
Mitch: (silence)
Kate: Why don't you want to go to Pintemento?
Mitch: I just want to decide.
Kate: But we are deciding.
Mitch: We're not getting anywhere. (tensely) Let's just make a decision.
Kate: (screaming) Why are you yelling at me? (starts to cry)
Mitch: (screaming) I'm not yelling!
"Mount Misery" (pg. 175-176)
. . . "Let's go out to dinner."
"Fine. Where shall we go?"
"Let's go to Miguel's."
"How about Pentimento?"
"Okay," I said, not really caring, "let's go to Pentimento."
She paused, studying me. "But it sounded like you wanted to go to Miguel's."
"No, no, it's okay-let's go where you want to go."
"But I want to go where you want to go too." She considered this, and asked, "Why don't you want to go to Pentimento?"
Feeling more tense, I said, "I just want to decide."
The phone began ringing.
"Why are you yelling at me?"
"I'm not yelling."
Also compare pages 201-202 of "Mount Misery" with page 44 of "We Have to Talk".
The point to be made is not that Shem, the master of extreme hyperbole, is a sham, but that, while his fiction is eerily like real life, his non-fiction smacks of anecdote and fantasy. Even if Tom and Ann are real, a couple detailed in "We Have To Talk" who but the most affluent with limitless recourses, could afford the luxuries they take for granted, in and out of therapy. What about a boot-strapping theory for the rest of us?
Also, why the pervasive Freud bashing in both books? I am certainly not a Freud fan, but why is "holding the We" any less contrived then "the shadow of the object falls across the ego"? Doesn't Shem do exactly as Freud, concocting fanciful theories to fit his anecdotal experiences from a small cross section of the American population in order to serve his own notoriety?
I still recommend "We Have to Talk" but ask the reader to sift through the self help dross for the occasional enlightening pearls.
Some useful tips, but not a book for everybody.......2001-09-05
This book is oriented to people from the USA society. Some ideas discussed in the book might not work for people with other cultural backgrounds, like Asian or Latin American. However, even if you are not from the USA, you could get some good tips, but don't think the whole book will be useful.
Wish I had read it 10 years ago!.......2000-04-17
This is a great book - the kind of book that you wish you had read 10 years ago. It would have saved me a lot of pain and grief in my relationships. I'm a 35 year old male - and I could recognize both the male responses in the book - and the reaction of the women. I recommend it to all my male friends - this is the book all men should read if they want to make their relationships with women work - and if they really want to learn what it means to truly connect, not just with women, but with each other as well. A truly insighful - and inspirational - book.
It Worked For Me..........2000-01-18
A very thought-provoking and enlightening work on gender differences and how they conspire to prevent/hobble quality relationship between men & women. I found myself continually clapping my forehead and saying "Duh!" and I've always fancied myself an evolved, hip and sensitive new-age guy!
With that said, I'm eager to "reality check" this book with some of my women friends to get their perspective. My instinct tells me "We Have to Talk" can be an incredibly valuable tool in understanding the deep, social underpinnings of both interpersonal communication and relational behavior. In fact, this may have been the single best interpersonal or "relationship" book I've ever read...and I've read a few. I now feel much better-equipped now to build stronger, healthier and more mutually-rewarding relationships in the future.
I also got the sense the authors really know their stuff and commend them for presenting the issue and information in a clear,very readable style.
Average customer rating:
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100 Walks in Surrey (100 Walks)
Crowood Press UK
Manufacturer: Crowood Press
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Binding: Paperback
Walking
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ASIN: 1852238062 |
Book Description
Each book in this series features 100 circular walks ranging from 2-12 miles. The walks have a map, points of interest, and places to eat and drink en route, plus suggestions for easy car parking. Places covered in this volume include Croydon, Haslemere, Farnham, and Redhill.
Customer Reviews:
WOOHOO!.......2001-09-03
This book is about England, what more do you need to know?? It talks about the small towns and villages, not the big cities. And it talks about the best town in England, which is Redhill! It's a very good book and very informative.
Book Description
In this, the second volume of the Merry Hall trilogy, Nichols is less concerned with his garden and more with his house, but the story does include the memorable characters Our Rose, the ditzy floral designer, and the cantankerous gardener Oldfield.
Customer Reviews:
Laughter on the Stairs.......2006-11-04
A great read. Part of a trilogy; I have just purchased the other two books as this book was so much fun to read. This book will interest people who have a love of old houses, English villages, and gardening.
Another delightful read!.......2006-09-02
This is the second volume in the Merry Hall trilogy, a set of books that focuses on Beverley Nichols' home life while he resides at Merry Hall, not his work life (which is presumably covered in his multi-volume autobiography). Where the first volume focused almost exclusively on the rehabilitation of the garden portion of his newly-purchased property, Laughter on the Stairs focuses on the re-doing of the house, interspersed with stories of local goings-on.
With a deft hand Mr. Nichols describes the horrible but inevitable way in which home improvement projects tend to snowball into something much bigger and more expensive than one had intended. At the same time he takes great delight in un-doing the monstrosities that the previous owner has inflicted upon the house.
Meanwhile, we are introduced to a couple of new "characters", specifically Marius' old governess Miss Mint, a very sweet and extremely timid woman who is welcomed into the local community; Erica Wyman, a famous gypsy novelist of dubious experience who is not; and Five, who arrives as a kitten and quickly settles into the Nichols' household.
Among the amusing stories that the author recounts are one that involves the sale of Miss Mint's fake Tudor cottage with a dried-up well to the odious Ms. Wyman, and the flower show, which goes horribly awry in a most satisfying manner.
Mr. Nichols is the sort of person that you'd want as a friend - he's a gentle soul who is enraptured by beauty in every form and can scarcely bear to harm a bug, but he also has a marvelously dry sense of humor and a delicious way of describing the personalities and interactions of those around him.
As a reviewer, I despair of coming up with a sufficient list of adjectives for Mr. Nichols' writings, as I intend to search out and read them all. Although that intention itself is perhaps review enough.
Wonderful Reading.......2006-02-25
Magical writing and so descriptive, from another era, gossipy, funny and at times thoughful. Great insight into Beverley Nichols life. Recommend this to anyone who enjoys gardening and life in general.
Life in the big house...........2001-01-07
In LAUGHTER ON THE STAIRS, Nichols continues his tale of the restoration of Merry Hall and it's grounds. Just after WWII, Nichols purchased a derelict Georgian House and it's tattered grounds, and with the help of his 'man' Gaskins, and the able Oldfield, who had worked the grounds for most of his life, he began a restoration project.
MERRY HALL was written about six years into the project, and focused on the grounds. LAUGHTER ON THE STAIRS takes place a few years, when later Nichols has turned his attention to the interior of the old Georgian House. The former owner, a Mr. Stebbing had very Victorian tastes, which Nichols dislikes, and has tried to erase. At last, he plans to address the staircase, where a stained-glass window that was "unquestionably..most alarming" overhang the landing.
Nichols nosey-parker neighbor Rose doesn't want to see the house altered. She remembers the days when Mr. Stebbing was the owner, and she does not approve of the new owner's changes. She was particularly outraged by the savage destruction of the old boxwood hedge. Now, Nichols proposes to destroy the lovely stainglass window Mr. Stebbing had installed over the staircase. Of course Merry Hall is Nichol's house and he can do what he likes, but he is concerned about the neighbors reactions to his plans. The story takes an interesting twist when burglers break in one night and in a strange way help him solve the dilemma.
This is a light and amusing book, and one I found very intertaining reading before bedtime.
UPROARIOUS FUN!.......2000-06-07
A delightful read! Mr. Nichols (in a very "proper" British fashion) describes his hilarious adventures in home decorating and remodeling. His run-ins with his snobby neighbors can not be missed! If you love gardens, cats, home decorating, or if you just love to laugh; GET THIS BOOK! In fact, get all three books in this trilogy (ie: "Merry Hall", "Sunlight on the Lawn", and "Laughter on the Stairs").
Book Description
We all know what a "good mother" looks like on television and in the popular imagination: typically she is white, heterosexual, and married, and devotes herself full-time to child care. But increasing numbers of women who mother today do not fit this narrow traditional image,and their different experiences of mothering are often maligned, misunderstood, or ignored.This compelling book presents the stories of diverse mothers whose life circumstances place
them outside the mainstream. Filled with the voices of the women themselves, chapters explore the lives of mothers of exceptional children and biracial children; mothers who seek closeness and connection with their adolescentchildren; mothers with HIV/AIDS; immigrant,
homeless, single, lesbian, adoptive, and teen mothers; African American mothers living in poverty; and mothers in prison. Their vivid, heartfelt accounts demonstrate the unique strengths of women struggling to overcome personal and societal barriers and take us beyond labeling entire groups of mothers as normal or deviant, "good" or "bad."
Customer Reviews:
AN EXCEPTIONAL LOOK AT MOTHERING.......1999-09-26
This is a stunning volume of maternal voices that are usually ignored. We hear from poor mothers, mothers of color, homeless and incarcerated mothers, single, lesbian, adoptive and teen mothers. These mothers, taken together are the true face of American motherhood. I really love this book.
Truth telling and conversation empower all mothers........1999-08-03
I am a big fan of Mothering Against The Odds, and anyone undaunted by the stellar line up of scholars, academicians and therapists - mothers all - will be richly rewarded. I was worried that this would be an academic workout of a read, but was drawn from page to page, spellbound by the stories of mothers, each searching for her truth and resisting further marginalization in doing so. The book feels like a conversation among friends in a way that includes the reader as a mother resistor, empowering her with the light of truth telling and consoling each of us not only with the sameness and horror of our collective shadows, but the power to resist more marginalization. This is a perfect Mother's Day or any day present for every mother in all of our lives. It was a real gift to me, both elevating the conversations with mother friends held out of the coach's or teacher's or doctor's auditory range and validating them, as well as welcoming me into a thoughtful group of mothers, adding a new layer of oomph to my own resistance. There were many chapters I approached with the expectation that I would be a reader experiencing an "other," and instead I was moved by a deep seeded commonality. Knowing what I know about real dialogue with pediatricians, (all of my children's, but especially my son's) coaches, school administrators, teachers, (especially the teachers of my adolescent children) - even as a privileged mother in a conventional heterosexual family, I feel more sameness than difference with the "special" categories of mothers in each chapter of your volume. All mothers do experience marginalization, a relegation to the sidelines of our growing children's lives with the concomitant shame undermining our pride when loving involvement persists. A careful reading of this volume also invokes shame that comes with significant enlightenment for any way that I may have contributed to shoving "other" mothers into the shadows. With the wisdom of this volume, I can see myself as a confident mother resistor and truth teller and not simply the persistent nuisance I fear some of my children's teachers and many of their friends' parents perceive me to be. Each chapter carries a strong message for each of us, not for "others." I am empowered by the bravery of teen mothers resisting the mold with which their welfare workers try to choke them. As a consummate letter writer, many of them unsent, I am empowered by Dr. Cynthia Garcia Coll and her colleagues' account of an incarcerated letter writing mother who stayed connected with her child and her own truth in writing letters that likely never reached him. I am emboldened by Miriam Greenspan's conviction born of many mothers' experience: "ours is...an emotion phobic culture," as I recall the pathologizing of my emotionally attuned children by well intentioned teachers when my children's' fears and sensibilities did not mesh with convention. I am liberated by Dr. Janet Surrey and her colleagues' careful unfolding of the adoptive experience and the enlivening picture of adoption "as much a recovery from loss as it is loss itself." I love the conviction presented as part of Dr. Laura Benkov's description of families headed by lesbians and gay men, but also as a truth woven throughout the volume, that "it is the quality of our relationships rather than the structure of our families that matters most in human development." And the most chilling truth of all, from Dr. Phoebe Kazdin Schnitzer, apropos single mothers, but easily applied to the actual story of any mother, and in fact, the shadow side of this volume: "This is marginalization up close - moving from stereotypes to inhibited interactions." And when each of us settles down and recalls the ways in which our mothering life has been constricted by cultural norms, or when each of us joins in our own rich conversations with other mothers or the rich conversational markers throughout the volume, it is a dark reality that confronts us, both more and less frightening because it is a shared one.
Stimulating,eye-opening views of women's lives as motherss.......1999-07-10
I was pleased when I encountered Mothering Against the Odds as I was selecting course books for my undergraduate class. And, my pleasure increased when I realized how stimulated my students were with reading and discussing it. They could see in a new way the full meaning of marginalization and resistance through the development of the "liberatory voice." The authors' lucid definition of marginalization and the sociopolitical act of resistance served as a guiding analytical principle for the reading and discussion about women's lives as mothers. The diversity presented was eye-opening. The new ways in which the students could encounter their own mothers was quite moving. The opportunity this reading gave these women to voice their recognition of margenalization in their own lives and their desire to engage in the social task of re-valuing motherhood and acts of mothering was unique. After this successful academic experience, I featured Mothering Against the Odds as a Book of the Month on the Wise Woman Productions website. In response several of our members requested a discussion group to consider the many provocative issues raised by the book.
Engrossing, thought-provoking account of mothering today........1999-06-17
The lives of the women we meet in Mothering Against the Odds provide the reader with a new awareness of the complexities of child-rearing in the United States today. The editors of this volume, clinicians, researchers, educators, theoreticians and writers, were initially drawn together by their common interest in establishing a community where they could share their experiences in parenting. Their own sense of personal and intellectual isolation as mothers spurred them to examine the multiplicity of mother-roles faced by all women; the resulting volume is the work of eighteen writers and scholars. Garcia Coll, et al frame their discussion of mothering in a format of personal narratives which reveal the individual challenges faced by those who mother at the so-called margins of society. The editors' choice of these narratives of women mothering came from their awareness that the diverse experiences shaping mothers' experiences are untreated in contemporary discussion of society's problems. The chapters illustrate a variety of mothering experiences: stories of women with biracial and exceptional children, mothers with HIV/AIDS; immigrant, homeless, single, adoptive, incarcerated, and teen mothers. Three conversations with the editors are interspersed within the text which highlight themes emerging from the individual stories of mothering. Each chapter stands alone as moving account of a mother's struggles and triumphs in a particular instance; all the chapters are tied together by the common thread of the voice of the mother's experience in each instance. The reader is left with a sense of the formidable tasks faced by those who are so often invisible in our society and yet who are coping and contributing successfully in many ways that leave one humbled. The voices of these mothers are the voices and lives that sociologists, psychologists, and of course educational policy makers, need to consider as they pursue ways to improve the lives of our children and of our families. While this is an academic book it also is a highly accessible and readable book for all those who have an interest in children, women and families. Above all, the stories told here represent lives of triumph, lives of women quietly confronting many problems usually hidden from the public view. And the editors state their intent to continue their study of mothering and the varied contexts women live in; we certainly hope they will. While the reader is left with many troubling questions, we also hope that through a consideration of the dignity of the lives of these women we can bring about change. Mothering Against the Odds is a must read for all those concerned with issues related to families today.
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