Voices from the Heart: In Celebration of America's Volunteers

Book Description

An unprecedented pro bono effort by Jossey-Bass Publishers and Chronicle Books.

Americans young and old, rich and poor, in cities and in rural areas, from all faiths and races, come together to volunteer.

Voices from the Heart is a tribute to this spirit of giving and the ideal of community. Author Brian O'Connell and editor Rebecca Buffam Taylor present a moving portrait of compassion at work. We meet volunteers from across the country and hear their passionate voices speak about what they do and why. Compelling images by leading photojournalists add to the story of each volunteer's work and its rich rewards.

A nonprofit joint Andeavor by Chronicle Books, Jossey-Bass Publishers, and major national foundations, profits from the sale of Voices from the Heart will go to INDEPENDENT SECTOR, a nonprofit group dedicated to America's volunteer organizations.

Everyone who gives time and effort to help other people or important causes will appreciate this homage to the manifold benefits of volunteering.

Customer Reviews:

The interviews are descriptive and the pictures are intense........1998-11-17

Brian O'Connell's Voices From The Heart, profiles 25 active volunteers from around the United States. The volunteers range in age and all are working on a variety of projects that help make the world a better place. The new book is perfect for a coffee table or holiday gift. I read many profiles on my way back from San Francisco and I couldn't put the book down.

The Great Good Place: Cafes, Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Bars, Hair Salons, and Other Hangouts at the Heart of a Community

Average customer rating:

"The survival of the coffeehouse depends upon its ability to meet present day needs..."
Can Great Good Places exist in today's world? (4.2 *s)
Think, eat, drink, act, buy local....
Finding a Great Good Place
Rebuttal to Lance Mertz's Review

The Great Good Place: Cafes, Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Bars, Hair Salons, and Other Hangouts at the Heart of a Community
Ray Oldenburg
Manufacturer: Marlowe & Company
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 1569246815

Book Description

The Great Good Place argues that "third places" - where people can gather, put aside the concerns of work and home, and hang out simply for the pleasures of good company and lively conversation - are the heart of a community's social vitality and the grassroots of democracy.

Customer Reviews:

"The survival of the coffeehouse depends upon its ability to meet present day needs...".......2007-04-06

The project of The Great Good Place is to demonstrate why public spaces-- particularly gathering spaces-- are essential to the health of the community. It is an interesting and attractive thesis-- one that will speak clearly to most of his intended audience. Who does not harbor a nostalgia (even if an inherited nostalgia) for the town pub or the "place where everybody knows your name"?

Oldenburg does a good job building his case. He looks at characteristics and benefits of third places and then chooses examples from history and other cultures to illustrate the ideas.

A friend of mine remarked that The Great Good Place was one good idea repeated over and over again for 300 page. Not entirely fair, but there is some truth to it. The book also suffers from being oversold. For instance, the publisher's subtitle implies that hair salons are part of the topics that are covered. In fact, they are barely even mentioned. I suppose that the publicity that this relatively academic text made it nearly irrestistible for the publishing house to try to spice things up for the average reader.

Honestly, three stars might be the most fair rating for the book. In addition to what feels like some occasionally thin material, I feel that the author elides or ignores the potential negatives of his third places. All the same, I ended up rating it four stars because I generally agreed with his ideas. That agreement made me predisposed to enjoy it. So for me, the fourth star is because I found it pleasant to read.

Recommended for people with an interest in the social value of public spaces.

Can Great Good Places exist in today's world? (4.2 *s).......2006-08-09

This book is a heartfelt and nostalgic lament at the loss of vibrant local communities and the disappearance and exclusion of the various shops and places that facilitate the spontaneous, daily neighborhood interactions that are essential for viable communities. As the author notes, American society has undergone tremendous changes since WWII: sprawling suburbanization, an automobile culture, and reliance on home entertainment, mainly television. The isolating tendency of these developments is reinforced by planners and zoning commissions that do not permit neighborhood hangouts like taverns, cafes, and the like to be located near developments of "dream" homes with their sculpted lawns.

He calls community enhancing places "third" places because they fall just behind the home and workplaces in terms of time spent, though in his estimation are no less important. They are a necessary complement to domestic and work lives. He discusses the general nature of "third" places, as well as specific examples, including European pubs, sidewalk cafes, and coffee houses. Several characteristics are generally found in "third" places. The places are inclusive; titles and status are checked at the door. They are usually unpretentious buildings without a lot of distractions that detract from conversation and camaraderie. The same-sex nature of most such places eliminates self-conscious formalities of dress and behavior. According to the author, one could hardly exaggerate the benefits that both individuals and communities derive from gathering in "third" places. The enhancements to a viable democracy are especially noted.

Virtually all "third" places have disappeared from the American scene; they have not been a part of new development since WWII. The German beer gardens and vibrant small town streets long ago vanished. Now taverns, coffee shops, and the like, often located in strip malls, are populated with strangers having arrived via automobile, not to mention the prevalence of loud music and other diversions that further inhibit conversation. A larger social tendency is to simply remain encapsulated at home surrounded by technical gadgetry like HDTVs, DVD players, computers, iPods, CD players, etc. This circumscribed, isolated world must bring smiles of joy to the automotive, oil, real estate, finance, and construction industries as well as the huge consumer goods suppliers. It's difficult to see how broader democratic views necessary for our society will be developed in these restricted, lonely environments with only the simplistic, if not misinforming, patter of the corporate media available.

The notion of close communities is hardly an unequivocal good. The author scarcely acknowledges that communities can be highly coercive, requiring strict adherence to prevailing community practice, and exclusionary to those who differ in some manner. It is doubtful that the open-minded, gregarious men of the author's communities are as ubiquitous as he implies. However, there is no doubt of the severe ramifications to both individuals and the larger society in the near total absence of active communities. Furthermore, the author's forays into the psychology of the sexes and the desirability of separation in relation to his third places seem flawed.

There will be no return to main streets in small towns and urban neighborhoods associated with manufacturing where the residents worked and associated with each other on and off the job. Today's reality is the complete divorce of place of residence from workplace locales, not to mention the 24/7 nature of work with extended hours. Workplaces can and do take on some of the characteristics of the author's "third" places, though his caution concerning power differentials in workplaces is not to be taken lightly. Likewise, voluntary associations, including churches, and the vast array of activities associated with raising children afford opportunities for socialization, though generally falling well short of the open ideal that the author postulates.

The residents of the communities of the past were not wiser than we are today. They did not plan their communities. The communities were a result of population size, and the co-location of homes and work. They had no political power to define their communities, but it was not particularly needed. But that lack of or eschewing of political power is entirely inadequate in this era of vast trans-national corporations dominating nearly every facet of our lives, including those aspects that define communities or the lack thereof. It is a fallacious claim that we do not have a "planned" economy, as though that happens only under socialism - the fact is, we do. The suburbanization of America, the vast highway network, the rise of the gasoline-powered automobile, and dominance of vast media empires supported by gadget manufacturers are due to the private planning of huge corporations. But these private acts have profound public and social consequences, yet citizen input is never requested or in some cases is suppressed by various means. Community enhancing measures will never again just happen. The exercise of political power will be required. But of course that assumes that a sizeable percentage of the citizenry understands what community requires, actually wants community, understands the obstacles, and is willing to back candidates in sufficient numbers and locations to effect change. In today's propagandistic and free-market capitalistic world that is a very high hurdle indeed. More likely, pseudo-communities will continue to be built, drawing upon the language but not the substance of community.

The book is thought-provoking. The author captures well that we are encapsulated in our private worlds with only marginal means to connect with others, unlike the easy sociability that once existed in some places. However, his emphasis on looking longingly at communities of the past will help little without accompanying suggestions about how to turn around our social structure. The author really does little of this. In a democracy, it is through political power that social change driven by citizens can occur. We can all see how change occurs that is dictated by huge private entities; that is the principal reason that "great good places" have essentially disappeared. It is even possible, though again most unlikely, that empowered citizens could create better and broader communities than those described by the author.

Think, eat, drink, act, buy local...........2006-02-06

Drawn by the concept of a "third place" as described by this book and referenced elsewhere, I thought I'd read to find out what this was about. In the end, this was a fascinating and thought provoking book. Mr. Oldenburg posits that much of our societal ills today are resultant from a lack of free association. That is, the places where people congregate / hang-out are disappearing because of urbanization, industrialization, etc. One example, the German beer garden (and its descendant in the US with early German immigrants) as a family affair - as, economically, there didn't seem to be any reason for such an institution in an "American" community, this venue slowly disappeared or devolved into the bars we know today - focused on serving alcohol to the subservient and willing. In fact, Oldenburg points out, the beer served in the beer garden was weaker than what we know today because the point was not the beer - the point was the association and conversation within the community, among families.

As we move towards a "private property society" and focus on "property rights" as we seem to understand them, the ability to be social, without prior planning, is slowly eroding. Simultaneously, the places to "hang out" are disappearing as a consumer driven market seems desirous of generating the most profit for the fewest people (corporations). Because of a desire for inexpensive goods, a local business, owned and operated by nearby residents, is next to impossible - especially in the face of the mass market competition from large corporations.

I think Oldenburg hits the nail squarely on the head. As I drive around (in a car-based economy), it's increasingly difficult to find a place to "hang out" and/or become a regular. (1) Restaurants are driven towards specific time limit for customers in hopes of turning a larger profit by serving more customers; (2) American bars are not conducive because service deteriorates if you choose not to imbibe and those that also serve food follow (1); and (3) the notion of coffee shops not driven by 1 or 2 are few and far between. Even assuming that there are such places of the "third place" variety, it more often than not requires a car to get there (not to mention paying to simply park near a place).

Anyone interested in property rights, humans as a social animal, and the notion of a "community," should read this book.

Finding a Great Good Place.......2005-12-28

I discovered this book after reading Willaim Raspberry (Washington Post Writers Group) commenting on his retirement. He found the newsroom served as the Great Good Place for him and rued that Americans don't have "informal gathering spots where one finds not just escape but camaraderie, conversation, friendly argument and pleasant conversation with regulars."
The civic solidarity and building of community that such a place fosters is sorely needed in America. I think that is one of the reasons for the dedication Rotarians give to their service organization. The weekly lunch meetings are structured, rather than informal, but otherwise fill the need for a Great Good Place.
I'd also suggest to those seeking a such a place, to check out their public library. Particularly in a small town, it can be the place where regulars run into each other and fall into discussion. Finding a spot where one can sit and chat without bothering students and readers depends on each library's layout.

Rebuttal to Lance Mertz's Review.......2004-07-22

I'm fascinated by your review of Ray Oldenburg's book _The Great Good Place_ without have read it. That's rather like a child saying he doesn't like spinach without having tried it.

I first had the pleasure of meeting Ray when I was editor of _The World of Beer_ out of Milan, Italy, when Alan Eames ("The Beer King"), who damned well lived in a small town - 300 - in New Hampshire, recommend the book to me. After reading a copy I made a point to meet Ray upon my next trip back to the United States.

Ray is indeed from small town America. He began his teaching career in Round Rock, Texas, back when the population was about 2,500. Today he makes his home near Pensacola, Florida. And has lived in a succession of small towns.

Ray's premise is that CITIES in America have lost their third places and we're the worse off for it.

Fabulous book, interesting man.....

Joel Jacobs
Commerce, Texas
US Navy, retired

Applique Masterpiece: Affairs of the Heart (Applique Masterpiece)

Average customer rating:

Applique Masterpiece: Affairs of the Heart
Quilters Librarian
no needle-turn applique technique information
I like it!
Applique Masterpiece: Affairs of the Heart

Applique Masterpiece: Affairs of the Heart (Applique Masterpiece)
Aie Rossmann
Manufacturer: American Quilter's Society
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 157432859X

Book Description

'Affairs of the Heart' is a quilt with 36 appliqud blocks on a black background, each integrating a heart motif in some manner. The blocks are intricate in appearance, yet easy enough to be tackled by novices with basic appliqu skills. Even the experts will find themselves engaged in the delicacy of the exquisite design elements and the vividness of the florals, influenced by the author's Burmese background. Aie (pronounced a) adds scrolls and scallops to her borders. The blocks are a manageable size, so each one can be completed within a single sitting. While the author made the quilt by hand with the needle-turn method, the designs lend themselves to other appliqu methods and could easily be done by machine. Using a variety of fabrics and thread colors gives depth to the design and adds to the vibrancy of the quilt. The author used printed border fabric but includes directions for achieving the same effect with appliqu. AUTHORBIO: An architect by trade, Aie (pronounced like a long A) is also skilled at drawing quilt designs. She began quilting while taking a break from her professional career to raise a family. Originally from Myanmar, formerly called Burma, Aie brings Southeast Asian influence to many of her designs and color schemes. The most recognizable aspects about the quilts she makes are their stylized, scrolled designs appliqued in bright colors on a dark background. REVIEW: Aie Rossmann's Affairs of the Heart is also a winner for all skills levels. Aie Rossmann's applique, guide blends flowing designs with vivid color schemes and almost 40 blocks linked by a heart motif. Choose this for any loving gift for Valentine's Day presentation, accenting the result with the scrolls and scallops recommended within for border accents. -Midwest Book Review

Customer Reviews:

Applique Masterpiece: Affairs of the Heart .......2007-09-26

Good ideas for color and patterns. I'll find a lot to use in this book, but I would include instructions in a clear and simple manner.

Quilters Librarian.......2007-08-24

This book has every pattern well illustrated and can be used for every different kind of material. Well received from our club.

no needle-turn applique technique information.......2007-07-31

I was hoping for some helpful hints about needle-turn applique but there is absolutely nothing here about the applique process. Only instructions are about quilt construction. I was also surprised by how poorly the author does needle-turn applique. The photos clearly show poorly done, jagged curves and obvious large stitches. I can do better than this and I'm a mere novice. Interesting colors and patterns, but that's the easy part! I was disappointed in this book.

I like it!.......2006-03-18

Wonderful combination of applique and embroidery. Emboridery stiches are simple, and the applique patterns range from simple to a little more complex ( but managable ). No boredom here!

Applique Masterpiece: Affairs of the Heart.......2006-03-18

Ms Rossmann's exploration of many possibilities using a heart motif results in an array of very interesting designs, and her use of color is fascinating. However, these are unlikely patterns for a novice, since the instructions for transferring the designs and the methods she gives are archaic. A person skilled in applique can do much with the patterns. A good basic book on hand applique is recommended for others.

The Lovers' Tarot: For Affairs of the Heart

Average customer rating:

nice book
only a gift
The full deck
poorly done overall
Lovers' Tarot

The Lovers' Tarot: For Affairs of the Heart
Jane Lyle
Manufacturer: St. Martin's Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 0312082584

Book Description

Love is the center of all our emotions. It inspires romance and passion, but also can herald doubts and fears. Most of all, love is elusive and so we often feel the need for guidance and insight into our most urgent longings and desires.To answer all your questions on affairs of the heart, Jane Lyle has created The Lovers' Tarot which focuses on love, sex and relationships. With its help you can now reveal the path to your future happiness and fulfillment. Suitable for beginners, with instantly accessible interpretationsIncludes 22 beautiful Major Arcana cards160-page book shows each card in color

Customer Reviews:

nice book.......2007-07-23

I was surprised to get a book bc I'd known this as a Tarot deck. I was ok with the book since the illustrations were in color. The seller said if there were any problems to write and she'd take care of it. One problem was that the book smelled terribly of cigarette smoke. Had I known this, I would not have purchased the book as I am allergic to cigarette smoke. I never got a reply from the seller.

only a gift.......2007-03-09

the cards are to big, and the book doesn't give you much , in the way of lay outs.

The full deck.......2006-03-24

Some years ago I saw the only Major deck. When I found this complete deck I'd ordered straightaway. I still think that the Major are very beautiful and their composition are very lovely, but I'd like to find a similar process on the Minor that are too simple.

Blessings
:)
CofS

poorly done overall.......2006-01-27

Perhaps she didn't have an editor. This book, like her Illustrated Book of Tarot before it, is poorly organized and just not well thought-out. If you just beginning with Tarot, I'd look elsewhere.

Lovers' Tarot.......2001-08-29

This was the first Tarot I ever used; it was a gift, which is as i have been taught it should be. I enjoyed it a lot, and still use it, in certain ways. First of all, the use of only the major arcana is a very good way to learn the concept of the Tarot without getting lost under all the cards. That and it also simplifies the reading's complexity, leaving room for the reader to explain and detail instead of just being card after card after card. Secondly, the book is well-written and quite interesting; I remember all the meanings that I learned at the time, and still use them with other Tarot. Thirdly, the artwork is visually stunning- so much so that (don't laugh!) i actually framed the cards and hung them, replacing them with the Major Arcana of a Robin Wood, which were easier to shuffle and work with, as well as reasonably inexpensive. Then, when i had the cards laid, i would show my subject the card in question, then have them look at the one on the wall while i gave the explanation. This gives a nice point of reference, plus eases the irritation of such huge cards. Good Tarot, wonderful Artwork, good book... What else could i ask for?

Emotional Purity : An Affair of the Heart

Average customer rating:

One of a kind book on an extremely relevant topic!
poorly supported book with good ideas
Emotionally sealed-- but no one can hurt me!
Five Stars for the Message
One of relationship/friendship books for singles

Emotional Purity : An Affair of the Heart
Heather Arnel Paulsen
Manufacturer: Winepress Publishing
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 1579213405

Book Description

How often have your emotions tossed you back and forth, clouding your vision and preventing you from hearing God's will clearly? Have you ever been in an undefined emotional relationship with a woman or man and unable to break free, even though you know you should? "Emotional Purity: An Affair of the Heart" delves into the multi-layered issues of emotional intimacy. Through personal examples, modern day parables and Scripture, this book reveals the importance for Christian singles to strive towards emotional purity. Christian singles seem to lack a sense of awareness of how their "innocent" male/female friendships cause a delusion. With the emotional free-for-all we have in Christian single circles, many are left wondering why they are broken hearted over "friendships." The effects of accepting the attitude of intimacy without a commitment obviously devastate our culture. Scripture, however, teaches just the opposite. Practical solutions are given for this common, yet unspoken and largely undefined, problem that is running rampant. After taking an in-depth look into emotional purity and intimacy, the book conquers other related issues, such as envy, discontentment, feelings, expectations and God's purpose for marriage.

"Emotional Purity: An Affair of the Heart" takes a radical approach to sensitize the reader's heart to the deep meaning of "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

Customer Reviews:

One of a kind book on an extremely relevant topic!.......2007-08-11

This book stakes a claim for thinking as a Christian about emotional intimacy. The stakes are never higher than they are now. The increasingly early sexualization of our youths reveals a deep-set cry of confusion and sorrow that the church must answer with biblical wisdom. This book has taken the pioneer's first step forward toward composing the necessary response to a growing problem in the church: hazily defined intimate relationships without commitment.

All true Christians appreciate the value of sexual purity. But what do we know about emotional purity? What do today's Christian singles know about keeping our hearts free of emotional entanglements with believers of the opposite sex? How many stories do we have to hear about believers giving up their hearts to one another before marriage (even before dating) only to have them broken by assumptions, ungrounded hopes and dreams, and misguided expectations? If all young Christian singles, particularly women, were to read and absorb this book today, I believe there would be a small revolution in Titus 2 femininity across the evangelical landscape. The book's message is that crucial, especially in today's relationship milieu.

The book begins with a lengthy fictional scenario about Tracy and Mike, two Christian singles who have a platonic relationship that ends in emotional devastation for Tracy. The story depicts the all too familiar cycle of a pair hanging out, pouring out their hearts to one another, building up to what appears to be a romantic relationship, and then the falling out as one (in this case Mike) shatters the assumptions of the other. This story becomes the central reference point throughout the book--it's careful depiction of a relationship seriously mishandled by two people driven by self-centered desires.

The rest of the book consists of fourteen concise chapters that congregate around several major themes. The final two chapters make up the conclusion of the work, with chapter 16 serving as a real-life bridge from the author's singleness to marriage. Paulsen's openness and concreteness strongly connect the message to its audience. I left the work feeling like I had a long, clear look into the author's heart. Furthermore, enhancing the particular gravity of the book is the very fact that the author wrote it when she was single herself. She writes in the introduction, "I am not sharing theory but real-life challenges and concerns as I and many others experience them" (12).

The book's central premise is this: commitment before intimacy. It is a clarion call for followers of Jesus Christ to lay aside their selfish desires and protect one another (including themselves) from an emotional intimacy that "stirs feelings and senses that promote a bond, a union that God reserves for the marriage relationship" (33). Paulsen astutely places relational intimacy against the backdrop of our relationship with Christ (56, 60). This reminds us that everything in our lives must be patterned after God and set on giving Him the glory. This also places a greater emphasis on marriage and on the "giving" aspect in male-female relationships, which are so prone to being abused for the selfish, temporary gains of comfort and ego-boosting. Paulsen writes, "God does not play games. He does not tease with emotional highs and lows to draw you to Him. He does not befriend you only to leave you at an emotional low while He goes on to the next emotional high with another friend. He asks for a solid commitment and does not take a halfhearted vow"(60).

This is the kind of quote that stops the no-commitment, carefree relationship-monger dead in his or her tracks!

Many women will turn to this book only for help on dating or just guy-girl issues. These seekers will not be disappointed. Much of the middle section of the book thoughtfully deals with issues of men and women (especially their differences), and interactions with the opposite sex. This section can be summarized by a quote on p. 113: "There is a freedom in saving your emotions for your spouse and spending time in your single years in God's private classroom. With God's way, you protect emotions that are to be freely given to the mate of His choice for you." The author's practical advice brims with everyday wisdom gained from life experience and from opening her heart to those older than her (esp. her parents). Such humility is much appreciated, especially on a subject that Scripture does not delineate in black-and-white terms.

The key points of practical insight from the meat of the book are--understanding the emotional nature of women, not defrauding a fellow believer by taking something from him/her (as in their emotions) that doesn't belong to you, creating boundaries in opposite sex relationships, and controlling your thoughts so that you don't indulge in fantasies nor presume upon the other person's unvoiced intentions. Each theme is vividly explained, with each one reappearing multiple times in different contexts. This "theme and variations" approach to the content reinforces the themes and demonstrates how the same theme can be illuminated with spiritual benefit from multiple angles.

Appropriately, Paulsen also focuses her spotlight on our desires. She tackles common fears and misapprehensions of single believers. She writes, "Can you understand that being envious and not trusting God can create a wall between you and the Father? Does it excite you to be at a place of peace about your singleness? Our God is very giving,and we have no business seeking to please our wills (our flesh). Only He can satisfy the deepest longings of our souls" (74).

She calls us to reorient our hearts and their all too often straying desires around God alone. To this end the sins of envy, jealousy, discontentment, and false thoughts ("unrealistic and make-believe thoughts," she calls them on p. 93) are targeted with a view to abhorring them and bringing every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. She knows firsthand how singles are all too prone to these wearisome sins. And she also knows firsthand how rejoicing in undistracted fellowship with the Lord is the key to being satisfied with singleness as a believer (100). She writes, "Since marriage requires laying aside our will and serving another, why not learn this in our single years?" (100). Well-stated and well worth applying immediately in order to demolish those self-serving strongholds that singles can so easily erect when marriage eludes them.

There is much of God and of savoring Him in this book--a quality that is sorely lacking in Christian books on practical issues. Perhaps this is most memorable trait. I was drawn to the book purely on the basis of its topic. But I was greatly pleased that the topic was filtered through the Lordship of Christ. As one who has ministered to singles, I've dealt with the issues of the book on a regular basis. And I've come to notice just how easily these issues can be diagnosed and dealt with at the total exclusion of God's word. The flesh is very strong when it comes to relational matters and it's first casualty is the acknowledgement of God in our minds to shed pure, divine light on what becomes obscured by personal cravings. Paulsen continually brings us back to the heart of emotional purity, which is our relationship to Christ and how that manifests itself in our sufficiency during singleness, our setting Him apart as the only Savior for all of our emotional needs (even in marriage), and our submitting to His glory in our desire for and our pursuit of marriage. Her emphasis on God's sovereignty over singleness and marriage acts as a charge to all believers, a charge "to take a leap of faith by giving up our full control in finding a mate" (127).

In a book on relationships and guarding one's heart, it is short on lists of do's and don'ts. For that I am thankful to the author because by placing the emphasis on broader themes and general wisdom (couched in the particulars of her and other people's actual experiences), she gets more mileage out of the message. We aren't strapped to a set of relational rules. Rather we are freed up, equipped with Paulsen's practical insight with Scriptural support in hand, to apply, by the Spirit, what we've learned to our own lives. If you want a relevant, personal, wise, and God-centered book on what it means to keep your heart free from relationship idols, turn to this encouraging resource.

poorly supported book with good ideas.......2007-07-11

This book starts in an appealing way, telling the story of a fictitious couple & their "just friends" relationship. The concept of the need to guard one's heart when it comes to male/female relationships is a good one, but if a reader is looking for a solid, biblical basis for "emotional purity", they will not find it in this book. Also, an entire book was not needed to say, "Guard your heart around the opposite sex, until you meet the one you know you want to marry," and "Don't lead anyone on, if you have no intentions of marrying them." the book is kind of redundant

Emotionally sealed-- but no one can hurt me!.......2006-07-27

The main point of the book is that there should be emotional boundaries, and not just physical boundaries, in any dating type relationship (she extends this into male-female relationships in general, too). This is all well and good. I like to think about it this way (loosely based on something said in "Boy Meets Girl", by Harris): One should not become attached (to one's significant other) at a level not warranted by the amount of commitment expressed in the relationship.

However, the framework in which she presents her thoughts is based on what is in my mind a faulty premise: The male must always take the initiative in any relationship. The impression I got is that she believes it would be sinful for the female to take any sort of initiative.

For example, she starts off the book with a fictional story. Tracy meets Luke and they become friends. Tracy is unsure as to whether they are just friends or are dating. Twice, she talks to her friend Emma about it. Emma says (paraphrase) "Of course he likes you. You just need to wait for him to bring it up, that's all." Of course, at the end of the story, Luke shows up with his new girlfriend. He hadn't been thinking of their relationship in those terms at all.

Miss Paulsen takes this as a starting point to say, "See? It is important to clearly define boundaries in all your relationships." I, on the other hand, would take this example and say, "Look at what horrible advice Emma was giving. Even if Tracy couldn't manage to bring it up herself, that's what a friend of a friend of a friend is for..."

She supports this idea throughout the book with this line of reasoning:

1. A husband-wife relationship is modeled after the relationship between Christ and the church.
2. Christ was the initiator in his relationship with the church.
3. Therefore, the man should be the initiator in any male-female relationship.

The problem with the above syllogism is what is understood by #1. It is certainly the case that marriage is compared to the relationship between Christ and the church (see Eph. 5). But initiation is never mentioned in any comparison in the Bible. For example, never do we hear, "Husbands (and future husbands) you must be the initiator in any prospective relationship, just like Christ took the initiative in His relationship with the church." To say this is to go beyond what God actually told us; it is using the analogy in ways that it may or may not apply.

I think that she allows this idea to cloud her interpretation of the Bible in more obvious ways, too. On page 154, she quotes half of Proverbs 18:22 ("He who finds a wife finds a good thing") and states that because it says the man does the finding, that means the wife is found, and that it is the man who must do the looking, and not the woman (I suppose that in her view in would be wrong for the woman to do any looking). But read the verse again, in its entirety; it doesn't say anything about looking for anything- it says that if you get married, it's a blessing from God:

"He who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord." -- Proverbs 18:22, ESV

It is fine to say "I think that the man should be the initiator"; it is very wrong to say that the Bible says this. It does not.

Not to beat a dead horse, but if her point were true, then how do we explain the book of Ruth? (Hint: Boaz did not take the initiative.)

There is a second line of thinking in the book that I think is almost as bad. I don't quite know what to term it; perhaps you could call it an extreme understanding of the idea of headship. (For example, we are told that as Christ is the head of the Church, so the man is the head of the wife. I'm not sure what exactly that means- I've never heard a good explanation of it. I am, however, quite sure it does not mean this:)

On page 144, she quotes I Cor. 11:3 "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." She says this is evidence that every woman is (or should be) under the authority of a man. So wives are under their husband's authority and daughters are under their father's authority.

I don't know Greek, but Strongs tells me that the Greek word for woman here is "gune" (goo-nay'), and that it means "a woman; specially, a wife:-wife, woman." I take that to mean that it could be wife or woman, depending on the context. Then I looked up the verse in the ESV and found that I'm right- in the ESV the verse is rendered: "But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife [1] is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. [1]: Greek gune. This term may refer to a woman or a wife, according to the context." So even if "head" really does mean "has authority over" (very debatable, I think- does it make any sense to say that God has authority over Christ???), this is certainly not proof that all women should be under the authority of a man.

As further proof of this, on page 152, she enlists "my son, give me your heart" (Prov. 23:26) to mean that her father should "have" her heart- I suppose she means something along the lines of she should be, as she says she is elsewhere in the book, "emotionally unavailable" to any potential suitor. There is one big problem with that: he is talking to his son, not his daughter. But even if we pretend it is "daughter" (or "son and daughter") let's look at the entire verse and see what it says:

"My son, give me your heart,
and let your eyes observe [or: delight in] my ways." -- Proverbs 23:26, ESV

I understand this to say, "pay attention to what I'm telling you!" As with many verses in proverbs, the second half of the verse repeats the thought in the first half. This verse has nothing to do with giving your father the "key to your heart" or anything like it.

The logical conclusion of these two ideas is that girls should be living at home, waiting for some guy to find them, at which point they should not act the least bit interested until he has worked things out with her father (in fact, it's best if she doesn't even know that there is an interested party and that he's talking with her father). I'm sure God can do things that way, but still I feel sorry for females that take that route.

Let me repeat that I think her main point of maintaining boundaries in relationships is good (actually it seems like common sense to me). But in my view, relationships are inherently risky- I would even go so far as to say that if you have set your boundaries in a relationship so emotionally distant that you cannot be hurt, then you do not have a meaningful relationship. In trying to avoid the pain of being hurt, I think the author has gone too far. It is trying to sanitize something that will never be entirely sanitary, and trying to define something that will always be mysterious.

"There be three things which are too wonderful for me,
yea, four which I know not:
The way of an eagle in the air;
the way of a serpent upon a rock;
the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and
the way of a man with a maid." -- Proverbs 30:18-19

So I think this book is harmful to the undiscerning reader, and I do not recommend reading it unless you are good at reading things critically.

I apologize for the length of this review, but this book is responsible for a lot of personal anguish. It's been long enough now that I think I am able to review it fairly.

(This review was originally posted on my blog, which, should you wish to read in its unedited form, you can probably find if you are good with Google.)

Five Stars for the Message.......2006-06-24

It has been said that whenever possible Christians should learn by discernment rather than through experience. The application of the wise advice given in Emotional Purity (Heather Arnel Paulsen, Winepress Publishing) has potential to save young people many painful experiences.

I have no qualifications or accomplishments to write a book on the subject of dating relationships, but if I did, this would be the book I would write. I have never written or posted on the subject before, and I probably will not again, but this book is worth noting.

Heather's main argument is that the Christian culture has often emphasized the value of physical purity to such an extent that the pitfalls of emotional intimacy often go unnoticed. "Above all guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." Heather paints familiar pictures of close friendships between young men and women that have involved incredible amounts of time and emotional energy only to end in disappointment and painful separation. "The way I see it," Heather writes, "when we have emotionally intimate male-female relationships without commitment what we end up with is emotional fornication."

Although the phrase emotional abstinence may sound stifling, the picture that Heather paints is in fact quite freeing. Commiting to emotional abstinence offers the freedom of protection. Emotional abstinence prior to marriage provides room for treasured emotional intimacy within marriage.

Her advice? Heather encourages her reader to build relationships of trust within the family. She especially emphasizes the importance of the relationship between a father and a daughter. She encourages young women to be under authority and to allow the total involvement of the family in the process toward marriage. Heather advocates that women avoid emotional intimacy with a man until the man has been questioned and approved by the girl's father. The vulnerability on the part of the man to initiate his relationship with a girl by going to her father is a sign of the sacrificial leadership needed within marriage.

The rewards of obedience are experienced only by those who obey. This book is countercultural, to say the least. Wisdom is known by her children.

(As another reviewer of this book has said, "Paulsen`s style is not always polished [or well-edited] and her examples are not perfectly written, but her love for God and His Word is obvious, and that love clearly comes forth in her first book.")

One of relationship/friendship books for singles .......2005-08-22

I have heard of this book before buy one. This is one of best books I have read. It has many good advices and gives examples how to make right choice for your life and your spouse. For me, I never have a real Christian boyfriend. I know God has a husband for me. Soon we'll meet someday.

Rebel Hearts : Journeys Within the IRA's Soul

Average customer rating:

Very Personal account of Oglaigh na hEireann
Review of Rebel Hearts
Both Profound & Better than Expected
go beyond the title
informative

Rebel Hearts : Journeys Within the IRA's Soul
Kevin Toolis
Manufacturer: St Martins Pr
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

General | World | History | Subjects | Books

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ASIN: 0312144784

Book Description

For ten years Kevin Toolis investigated the lives of the IRA soldiers who wage a secret battle against the British State. His journeys took him from the back kitchens of Belfast, where men joked while making two-thousand-pound bombs, to prisons for interviews with men serving life sentences, and to the graveyards where mourners weep. Each chapter explores a world where history, faith, and human savagery determine life and death. At once moving and harrowing, Rebel Hearts is the most authoritative and insightful book ever written on the IRA.

Customer Reviews:

Very Personal account of Oglaigh na hEireann.......2005-09-26

This is a great book about Oglaigh na hEireann. The journalist who wrote the book got to meet with some IRA leaders. He got first and second hand acounts of specific missions. It gives you a very close and personal view of the troubles. I would recomend this to any Irish man or woman, especially if you are of a republican backround

Review of Rebel Hearts.......2003-12-14

I have read many books on the struggles in Northern Ireland but this book stands apart from them all. Toolis has the unique ability to remain both objective and passionate about this topic. As the subtitle suggests he truly gets into the soul of the IRA. His book is based on research, interviews and perosnal experiences that could have placed Toolis himself in harms way. Some may see this as a weakness, but Toolis's conclusions are clear. Prior to reading this book I knew a lot of facts about the struggles of the IRA. After reading Toolis's book I suddenly understood some of what created and continues to fuel these struggles. I recommend this book to anyone who is interested in Irish History, the history of the IRA or interested in the violent struggles that mark the 20th century.

Both Profound & Better than Expected.......2003-06-19

I read _Rebel Hearts_ as part of my research for my senior thesis on the Northern Question and found it better than I ever imagined. While it does indeed profile the lives of particular IRA members (as already mentioned by other reviewers), it does so much more: it delves into the psychology of how and why the IRA exists and operates. To me, this is a much bigger issue than individual biographies, as good as they are. From the book's preface, Toolis is clear about his position: he foresees peace in Ireland only through "a transfer of power away from the British Crown." He explores Irish martyrdom, politics, history, and methodology, though I would caution that this book is no crash-course on Irish history. If you are looking to know more about that subject, _Rebel Hearts_ already presumes a fair amount of knowledge. (But Toolis does include a list of abbreviations at the beginning.) Toolis delves into the link between politics and religion without browbeating the reader and he thoroughly explains the deep-seated spiritual issues that accompany the political conflicts in Northern Ireland. His compelling conclusion at the book's close gave me goosebumps as I read it: "There will be peace in Ireland and it will be a republican peace." Here, here.

go beyond the title.......2002-03-28

After you get beyond the title of Toolis' book, and beyond the sappy first chapter of family history, he offers a highly interesting account of the people behind the militant Republican movement. Toolis has sought out people who don't usually make the front page--family members and informers--as well as prominent Republicans and Martin McGuinness, who "is the IRA," according to Toolis' sources. By documenting the every day workings of the people involved in the conflict, he establishes the complexity of their motivations and actions. The reader is not left with a black and white view of the struggle.

I give the book four stars because his sources are very good and original, enabling him to give a very thorough view of his subject. The book deserves to be read. The silly involvement of his personal stories adds nothing to the book and almost caused me to put it down. Also he gets caught up in the argument he is making with his sources so that the prologue and afterward seem out of place.

informative.......2002-03-27

I am not at all Irish but have been reading about Ireland's history since high school. After reading alot about the Rising and past history, I was looking for something that tells of more recent accounts in the land. Rebel Hearts was it. The stories are excellent and left the way they happened. Toolis was not afraid to leave commentary run on. If that is how long an interview lasted then that is how it was written. I did not find this book bias either wich is always a plus for me. My only problem was getting lost in a few places. Seemed like a story would jump around from beginning to end back to beginning. Maybe this was just my error though.

Eyes of the Heart: Seeking a Path for the Poor in the Age of Globalization

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Short but sweet
Please...
not gullible
Thinking Outside the Box
Impressive

Eyes of the Heart: Seeking a Path for the Poor in the Age of Globalization
Jean-Bertrand Aristide
Manufacturer: Common Courage Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 1567511872

Book Description

In this startling and passionate book, Aristide demonstrates why those on the bottom will never lie down. A graphic revelation of what happens when "free" trade overruns local markets, eradicates local economies, and creates dependence on foreign charity.

Customer Reviews:

Short but sweet.......2002-12-09

This book is a short collection of articles or speeches by President Jean Bertrand Aristide. Reading it is a window into the world of a torn country: the poorest in the western hemisphere. But rather than being depressing, it leaves you with hope as you celebrate the triumphs of the Haitian people as they struggle for democracy and peace.

Please..........2002-11-18

Take a trip to Haiti. And you may still notice the mountains of garbage at every street corner, drug and crime lords on the loose, the prison system a mess, the economy...what economy? electricity...only when it's for the "Wold Cup", the absence of Police Officers...the condition of the roads! the airport! the beggers, the robbers and the fast and growing numbers of Haitians leaving either by plane or boat! now, instead of publishing a book and trying to convince those who's never lived in Haiti of the President's good heart, he should have taken that money and spent it on the country instead! Nothing has changed from when the Duvalieriste's were in power! Actually, the new President bares an eery resemblance to Papa Doc lately! oh! did I forget to mention the President's mansion in "Tabarre" and the perfect condition of the road in front of his house...we wouldn't want his Excellency to feel a bump now, would we?

not gullible.......2001-10-15

hmm. interesting point our President Jean-Bertrand Aristide has. but guess what,it's not enough. in essence,he represents the dream-like state that a lot of my people have:we dream of what we were,of what we could be,yet do nothing about it. he is an intellectual without action. i have lived too long in haiti to hear all of the 'ansanm,ansanm,nou se lavalas'speeches of our DEARLY BELOVED president while continually seeing the misery of my people. good book,"titid". but i don't expect to see anything realistic come of it. (:

Thinking Outside the Box.......2001-01-05

By all accounts, life for Haiti's desperately poor majority is difficult. By most accounts, that life is hopeless- newspaper reports see only squalor, development strategies see only economic enslavement as the lesser of evils, even supporters of Haiti cannot see the country escaping the rut of its history.

President Aristide, as he has always done, finds hope. He finds hope in his people's almost unfathomable strength in opposing repression over three centuries. He finds hope in economic activities discarded by the "builders". He finds hope, despite the horror inflicted on Haiti from the outside from slavery to the present, in us, the citizenry of the world's powerful countries.

This hope, and practical strategies based on it, has always been Aristide's gift to Haiti. That is why he, and candidates perceived to be loyal to him, have received overwhelming support in just about every electoral contest since 1990. That is why Aristide should receive the support of the international community, and anyone who cares about social and economic justice. That is why you should read this book.

Impressive.......2000-12-27

I never gave Aristide much credit, but after reading this book I'm beginning to think that there might be hope for Haiti after all. This is a compelling and well written book that goes at the core of Haiti's problem. In the era of globalization, a nation with a past such as Haiti should think twice before jumping the bandwagon of the free market economy and look for a third way. While the capitalist system generates wealth, it also broadens the economic and social gaps among class constellations. Yet, at the same time, we have Cuba as a model of social justice and equity, if judged by the criteria of universal acces to education and health care. I think that Haiti should aim at striking a balance between those opposing ideologies and Aristide made it clear in Eyes of the Heart that there is a third way. Rather he follows through with this idea during his second term as president it is yet to be seen. Overall it is an insightfull book.

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Affair of the Heart
Joan Wolf
Manufacturer: Signet
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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A Change of Heart (Rapture Romance, No 19)

ASIN: 0451129113

Capturing the Heart of Leadership: Spirituality and Community in the New American Workplace

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Can "spirituality" and "steward" replace "profit "and boss.

Capturing the Heart of Leadership: Spirituality and Community in the New American Workplace
Gilbert W. Fairholm
Manufacturer: Praeger Paperback
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0275970965

Book Description

This book seeks to promote a new spiritual approach to organizational leadership that goes beyond visionary management to a new focus on the spiritual for both leader and led. Reflecting on the current crisis of meaning in America, this book takes up the search for significance in peoples' worklives--in the products they produce and in the services they offer. Recognizing that the new corporation has become the dominant community for many-- commanding most of our waking hours by providing a focus for life, a measure of personal success, and a network of personal relationships--Fairholm calls on business leaders to focus their attention on the processes of community among their stakeholders: wholeness, integrity, stewardship, and morality. Spiritual leadership is seen here as a dynamic, interactive process. Successful leadership in the new American workplace, therefore, is dependent on a recognition that leadership is a relationship, not a skill or a personal attribute. Leaders are leaders only as far as they develop relationships with their followers, relationships that help all concerned to achieve their spiritual, as well as economic and social, fulfillment.

Customer Reviews:

Can "spirituality" and "steward" replace "profit "and boss........2000-06-23

Gilbert Fairholm's book is less a path than a tight rope into a potential new world where spiritual and material values are allies. Fairholm's book clearly indicates how the meaning of work for many American managers and workers extends beyond bringing bread to the table. His target audience is therefore the managers, owners, students and heads (perhaps even stockholders) of the businesses and corporations for which they work. The thin line he walks is between the prevailing mentality of the world of business today and the world of higher values that he wishes to introduce more directly into its everyday practices and understanding.

The task is not an easy one. Fairholm's book does a fine job of laying out a vast varitey of issues and approaches a "spiritually" inclined leadership could develop into practice as well as fundemental spirtual understanding, such as business a stewardship, that would represent the conceptual foundation for building such new corporate behavior.

Fairholm's greatest problem is one of translating spiritual concerns and approaches to the language of business as spoken today. The problem is that popular "business book speak" has taken some critical concepts such as "leadership" and "vision" and so watered them down that one wonders if the words are capable any longer to convey the deeper meanings to which Fairholm is striving to related. Some words, like "profit" are noticeable avoided as almost too incompatable to deal with.

In the end this book deserves a good reading as a serious attempt to begin discussion of a major reorientation of work as we understanbd it today. To carry this cause futher, Fairholm, or others, may have to delve much deeper into the nature of not only "would be" spiritual organizations but the idea a spiritually friendly economic system as well.

It would be easy to superficailly dismiss Fairholm's book as a noble but unrealistic attempt to recast an anvil with an angel. To resist such quick dismissal it might be useful to reflect on the extent to which the United States was in fact established by execuitve personailites and men of commerce with deep spiritual commitments both personal and social. In this regards the revolution lurching behind Fairholm's facade of business talk may be less a future revolution than a call for a re-expression of an enduring if often obscured aspect of America. Fairholm book deserves reading as a first step out of the shadows of our present excessively ego based economic and managerial systems. Take the chance and walk the tight-rope with him

Average customer rating:

Amazing.

So "Right On" It's Kind of Freaky!

Smart Signs, Foolish Choices: An Astrological Guide to Getting Smart in Affairs of the Heart
Robin MacNaughton
Manufacturer: Citadel
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Marriage | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
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Robin MacNaughton's Sun Sign Personality Guide: A Complete Love and Compatibility Guide for Every Sign in the Zodiac

Astrologically Incorrect for Lovers: Slightly Wicked Advice for Seducing Any Sign of the Zodiac

Love Lives: Using Astrology to Build the Perfect Relationship with Any Star Sign

Sexscopes: How to Seduce, Stimulate, and Satisfy Any Sign

Love and War Between the Signs: Astrological Secrets to Emotional Compatibility

ASIN: 0806525045

Customer Reviews:

Amazing........2007-06-28

I can't believe more people haven't commented on this book. A friend and I happened upon this book in the bookstore, & I'm not necessarily even INTO astrology, but "Smart Signs..." was right on the dot with us both! I highly recommend.

So "Right On" It's Kind of Freaky!.......2006-07-06

Loved it, loved it, loved it. If you're at all interested in your compatibility with other signs and in fact, look at your own faults in romantic relationships, this could open your eyes a little.

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