Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them : When Loving Hurts and You Don't Know Why
Average customer rating: 5 out of 5 stars
  • Not only applies to heterosexual couples....
  • Helped me.
  • Good book but there is one better
  • HELPED ME UNDERSTAND
  • This book helped me realize that I wasn't crazy!
 Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them : When Loving Hurts and You Don't Know Why
Susan Forward , and Joan Torres
Manufacturer: Bantam
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Interpersonal RelationsInterpersonal Relations | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
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  1. Women Who Love Too Much Women Who Love Too Much
  2. Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
  3. Smart Women/Foolish Choices: Finding the Right Men Avoiding the Wrong Ones Smart Women/Foolish Choices: Finding the Right Men Avoiding the Wrong Ones
  4. Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You
  5. Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go

ASIN: 0553381415
Release Date: 2002-01-02

Book Description

Is this the way love is supposed to feel?

• Does the man you love assume the right to control how you live and behave?
• Have you given up important activities or people to keep him happy?
• Is he extremely jealous and possessive?
• Does he switch from charm to anger without warning?
• Does he belittle your opinions, your feelings, or your accomplishments?
• Does he withdraw love, money, approval, or sex to punish you?
• Does he blame you for everything that goes wrong in the relationship?
• Do you find yourself “walking on eggs” and apologizing all the time?

If the questions here reveal a familiar pattern, you may be in love with a misogynist — a man who loves you, yet causes you tremendous pain because he acts as if he hates you.

In this superb self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the voices of men and women trapped in these negative relationships to help you understand your man’s destructive pattern and the part you play in it.

She shows how to break the pattern, heal the hurt, regain your self-respect, and either rebuild your relationship or find the courage to love a truly loving man.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars Not only applies to heterosexual couples...........2007-09-11

This book was especially fascinating for me because it describes the same dynamics that can occur in gay relationships. Unfortunately, abuse and humiliation goes beyond heterosexual men.

5 out of 5 stars Helped me........2007-09-10

Fantastic book, helped me to understand what I am currently going through in my life. Would recommend to anyone in a relationship who feels they just can't seem to get thier point across to thier significatn other.

4 out of 5 stars Good book but there is one better.......2007-03-31

This is a good book about men who hurt women. I found it very useful, but I did find one better (on Amazon, in fact) called "Why Does he do That?" The subtitle is "Inside the minds of angry and controlling men." I think, for the experience the author (of "Men Who Hate Women...") has had, she does quite well and it makes a good pre-read for the other one.Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

5 out of 5 stars HELPED ME UNDERSTAND.......2007-01-10

This book is excellent, giving women (who have or are being abused emotionally) an understanding of the thoughts and motives that direct this type of abuse.

5 out of 5 stars This book helped me realize that I wasn't crazy!.......2006-08-11

My relationship with my ex-husband was abusive, to say the least, but did not seem to manifest the typical patterns of domestic violence. At the time, I was a graduate student with strong ambitions, and an even stronger will...but I couldn't understand why my ex-husband seemed to take pleasure in humiliating me, undermining my accomplishments, and trying to convince me that I was crazy (traits that he only began to exhibit after we were married)! Forward's book gave me the strength to heal, and the courage to pursue a divorce from my abusive ex-husband. This book provided me with, not only theorietical explanations for my ex-husband's mood swings and bizarre behavior, but also a foundation for me to attain some clarity about my toxic relationship patterns. The symptoms and case studies of the "misogynist" eerily described my ex-husband, as well as, every man that I have had a romantic relationship with! Thus, some of the material can be difficult to accept about yourself and your relationships, but this book is essential if you are ready to put an end to the abuse
Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go
Average customer rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • obssesive relationships
  • Get over that "one magic person"
  • An encouragement, but not a one-size-fits-all cure
  • Why good relationships end.
  • This book is for everybody. Get it.
 Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go
Susan Forward , and Craig Buck
Manufacturer: Bantam
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Interpersonal RelationsInterpersonal Relations | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
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  3. DON'T CALL THAT MAN!: A SURVIVAL GUIDE TO LETTING GO DON'T CALL THAT MAN!: A SURVIVAL GUIDE TO LETTING GO
  4. How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Days: A Day-by-Day Guide to Saying Good-bye and Getting On With Your Life How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Days: A Day-by-Day Guide to Saying Good-bye and Getting On With Your Life
  5. Women Who Love Too Much Women Who Love Too Much

ASIN: 0553381423
Release Date: 2002-01-02

Book Description

Is it impossible to let go — despite the pain?

• Do you yearn for someone who is not physically or emotionally available to you?
• Do you believe that if you love him enough he will have to love you?
• When you feel insecure, does it drive you only to want her more?
• Do you find yourself phoning repeatedly or waiting long hours for the phone to ring?

Do you wish someone would let go of you?

• Does an ex-lover or ex-spouse refuse to believe that it’s over?
• Do you receive unwanted phone calls, letters, presents, or visits?
• Is this pursuit of you creating so much anxiety that it affects your physical or emotional well-being?

In this invaluable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward presents vivid case histories as well as the real-life voices of men and women caught in the grip of obsessive passion.

Whether you’re an obsessive lover or the target of such an obsession, here is a proven, step-by-step program that shows you how to recognize the “connection compulsion,” what causes it, and how to break its hold on your life so that you can go on to build healthy, lasting, and pain-free relationships.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars obssesive relationships.......2007-08-17



This is the best book that truly spoke to obsessive lovers. I had a hard time putting the book down becuase I related to so many of the people inside. Finally, someone has written a book for both women and men about obsessive, addictive relationships. I feel like I have new insight into problem and can start making positive changes in my life. Excellent book for anyone caught up in another person.



5 out of 5 stars Get over that "one magic person".......2007-07-14

I hate those reviewers who write, "this book changed my life," but this book saved my life. I was able to quit a very toxic relationship after 3 years while reading this book. The exercises really help because it's so eye opening to finally see on paper our unhealthy patterns and behaviors. Her section that explains the difference between feelings and thoughts is very enlightening since most of us seem to confuse the two in our communications (saying, "I felt like the movie was kind of slow," when we really mean, "I think this movie is slow, and I feel bored, restless.") This book can really help you get your life back in balance when you think you just can't live without that one magic person.

4 out of 5 stars An encouragement, but not a one-size-fits-all cure.......2007-01-29

I have struggled three times with "obsessive love," and am now struggling a fourth time. When I first saw this book, I was encouraged to know that I'm not alone, and that I have a documented psychological condition with documented remedies. Unfortunately, however, I was expecting too much, and was disappointed. There is no easy one-size-fits-all solution, and I was left with more questions than answers at the end of the book.

Based on the cover, you would imagine that most of this book would be devoted to practical advice for obsessive lovers. Not so. The first section (pages 1-106) is just a symptomatic description of the problem, illustrated with numerous stories from Dr Forward's clients. She starts with an outline of the emotional process in an obsessive lover's mind - the constant fear of rejection, and ultimate denial of rejection, leading to a totally unrealistic view of the relationship. The chapter is padded with more examples than it needs, but it gets the point across: if you're an obsessive lover, you will now be in no doubt about it. In the following chapters, she goes on to talk about progressive levels of obsessive behavior: frequent phone calls, unwanted gifts, stalking, anger, revenge and ultimately murder (!). I lost the thread right at the beginning of this list. Obsessive behavior for me means pacing around my apartment, sleeping all day, bad eating habits, distraction from work, but never any obvious personal harrassment.

I plowed on, skipping through some of the bizarre and irrelevant stories, mildly encouraged that things could be a lot worse. The second section (pages 107-168) deals with obsessive love from the target's point of view: how to free yourself from an obsessive lover. That's probably useful information if you're in that situation, but not if you're the obsessor, as is probably the case for most readers.

Next we have a chapter about the possible root causes of obsessive love, namely bad experiences during childhood (pages 169-193). Dr Forward suggests that most obsessive lovers have suffered rejection by parents, peers or early lovers, and that our adult lovers are an emotional substitute. Interesting theory, but does it help? Not really.

Finally, in pages 194-278, we reach the meat of the book. A practical guide to overcoming obsessive love. Dr Forward leads you through a step-by-step process of identifying destructive triggers and behaviors in our lives, and systematically making more constructive choices. Part of the therapy involves a two-week "emotional vacation" away from your lover, with absolutely no contact permitted. The system sounds sensible, if you have the discipline to go through with it - though some aspects are embarrassingly silly (sticking little STOP signs all over your house!). I think it would be difficult to apply without human accountablility.

My biggest complaint, speaking personally, is that this book makes too many assumptions about your situation. In most of the cases where I've become obsessed, I have not been outright rejected. My "targets" wanted to remain as close platonic friends after the casual romance ended, since we had already been friends before dating. They didn't understand, or even realize, that I was going through agony with the friendship. In two cases, the situation was left open-ended, i.e. "I can't handle a serious relationship right now; let's just be friends, and see where we end up when our lives are less chaotic," etc. All of Dr Forward's examples deal with more explosive break-ups or cheating partners, and not with nice friends who just don't want a serious relationship. How do you separate yourself from a friend who doesn't even know you're obsessed, when THEY are the ones initiating all the contact? I have other friends who have suffered in similar ways, but Dr Forward has nothing to say on this scenario. She also doesn't deal adequately with "passive obsessors" - people who act out their obsession by withdrawing themselves from the world, instead of phoning, stalking, etc. Forcing yourself NOT to do something is a tangible objective - but when your obsession drains away all your energy, and all you can do is sleep or stare at the wall, this surely requires a different sort of therapy. Some of her ideas may help in this case (eradicating sensual triggers, increasing physical exercise, etc), but depression itself will still be a hard thing to overcome without professional help.

5 out of 5 stars Why good relationships end........2006-05-04

After I had 3 long term relationships end. I decided to look for help. A counselor recommended I read Susan's book. Wow what an eye opening experience. Many of the situations she outlines in the book parallel my relationships. It helped me take a fresh look at the way I think about love and relationships. It doesn't take too long to read and has totally changed my life. If you think your obsessing you should read this book. And start enjoying fun and healthy relationships instead of poisoning your life.

5 out of 5 stars This book is for everybody. Get it........2006-04-15

This book is for everybody. Everybody has had the experience of not wanting to let go, or letting go and finding it extremely painful. Hardly anybody does the strange things Forward describes her clients doing, but the insights she offers on how to deal with one's feelings speak to the universal human experience. I decided to write off "relationships" years ago, but reading this book was just the thing to find closure and put an end to that part of my life permanently. Whether you are writing off one "relationship" or writing off all "relationships" the way I did, Forward can help you and how.

The book could benefit from a good editor. I was not at all interested in reading about her weird clients, which took up at least half the book, and some of them are really major league weird. But after a few pages you learn to "zap" that part the same way you "zap" commercials on your VCR. Her comments on why people find "relationships" so painful and ultimately not worth bothering with and where those feelings originate and how to get rid of them are pure gold and well worth reading. I cannot recommend a better resource.

Also, readers who have heard Forward on the radio should know that the book is not at all obnoxious, despite the way she comes across in her show. Whoever wrote this book (Forward or an uncredited ghost) strikes you as someone you would feel very comfortable turning to for advice.

Get it. You will be glad you did.

When Anger Hurts Your Relationship: 10 Simple Solutions for Couples Who Fight
Average customer rating: 5 out of 5 stars
  • Every couple needs this book.
  • When Anger Hurts your Relationship
 When Anger Hurts Your Relationship: 10 Simple Solutions for Couples Who Fight
Paleg
Manufacturer: New Harbinger
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

Interpersonal RelationsInterpersonal Relations | Relationships | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
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ASIN: 1572242604

Book Description

Psychologists Kim Paleg and Matthew McKay offer couples a variety of tools and strategies to reduce conflict, diffuse rage, and move beyond repeated confrontations to regain a loving relationship. Each chapter presents proven techniques to help couples experience respectful anger, reconcile differences, and begin to heal.

Customer Reviews:

5 out of 5 stars Every couple needs this book........2007-02-19

I found the situations to be almost as if she wrote this book about me. Everyone in a relationship needs to read it. May help cut down on divorces.

5 out of 5 stars When Anger Hurts your Relationship.......2007-01-09

I have read many books on anger and for couples who have distorted anger, this one is the winner. I also recommend the book "Getting Over getting Mad", by Judy Ford. It explained the importance of anger in our lives and how it "is an indispensable emotion, which when used productively allows us to develop ourselves and our relationships. Its only "when anger covers up pain and fear", that it "clogs our energy, dilutes our joy, and keeps us off track, going in circles, making no headway. Instead of helping us, anger becomes self-defeating." The book has ideas for managing anger in a positive way.
The Enabler: When Helping Hurts the Ones You Love
Average customer rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • OK read to help open doors
  • A book that could change lives
  • Must read for anyone with family problems
  • Every one should read.
  • what a life changer
 The Enabler: When Helping Hurts the Ones You Love
Angelyn Miller
Manufacturer: Hats Off Books
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 1587360675

Book Description

DO YOU CONFUSE BEING NEEDED WITH BEING LOVED? DO YOU RELATE TO OTHERS BY TAKING CARE OF THEM? ARE THOSE CLOSEST TO YOU UNABLE TO STAND ON THEIR OWN TWO FEET? Co-dependency--of which enabling is a major dynamic--can and does exist in families where there is no active chemical dependency. Author Angelyn Miller's own experience is a dramatic example: the ultimate "super-mom", neither Miller nor her husband drank. Yet in spite of her best efforts, she found her family disintegrating. The more she tried to help, the worse things got, until she discovered that "helping" was the problem. Using her own family as an example, Miller tells how she came to the painful realization that she was an enabler. The enabler protects others from the consequences of their actions. By always taking responsibility for those around them, enablers hurt the very people they love the most. Gradually, she learned to alter her behavior and broke the cycle of co-dependence. In this book she offers insights, techniques, and hope, showing how enabling relationships can be transformed into healthy ones.

Customer Reviews:

3 out of 5 stars OK read to help open doors.......2007-07-08

This book is a good read to start to unlock those hidden doors in our lives.

5 out of 5 stars A book that could change lives.......2007-06-27

I bought this book, The Enabler, for my mother-in-law because the title and description seem to fit her perfectly. However, as I read the book from cover-to-cover I quickly realized that there were some enabling "issues" that were in my life as well. This book is written in friendly, easy terms; it doesn't use language that is over the average person's head. Since the author, Angelyn Miller, wrote about her personal life, I felt that I could connect with her on a personal level, and I am hoping that my mother-in-law can do the same. If a person who is an enabler would truly take this book to heart, it could literally change that person's life - for the better. The book is very straight-forward, and it even has "worksheets" and exercises to help the reader become the person that he/she would like to be.

5 out of 5 stars Must read for anyone with family problems.......2007-01-09

Although this book is very short, it is very helpful. I bought this book to understand other family members, and learned quite a bit. I've also passed the book on to others in the family.
I highly recommend anyone read this who is interested in understanding why family members, or even friends do the things they do.

4 out of 5 stars Every one should read........2006-12-19

My son has a drug addiction and problems with commitment. This book helped me to understand our roles and the directions we should take.

5 out of 5 stars what a life changer.......2003-09-09

Well, I was in a reahb center when my thearapist offered for me to read this book. I put it off for a few weeks when finally I picked it up to be amazed. It is a book that will help all of those who know they are enablers, think they are enablers, or sometimes likes to help a friend out in need. It is an eye opener. I recomend this book to just about anyone, even those who use enablers for their advantage. I hope you enjoy it just as much as I did!
Courage to Love...When Your Marriage Hurts
Average customer rating: Not rated
    		Courage to Love...When Your Marriage Hurts
    Gerald Foley
    Manufacturer: Ave Maria Press
    ProductGroup: Book
    Binding: Paperback

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    When Love Hurts: 10 Principles to Transform Difficult Relationships
    Average customer rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    • Choices that heal!
    		When Love Hurts: 10 Principles to Transform Difficult Relationships
    Karla Downing
    Manufacturer: Beacon Hill Press of Kansas City
    ProductGroup: Book
    Binding: Paperback

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    ASIN: 0834121360

    Book Description

    A dysfunctional relationship is any relationship in which you find yourself struggling to force change, give advice, control, or fix problems. The difficulty can be due to an addiction, mental illness, abuse, a trying personality, irresponsibility, or anything else that interferes with a healthy relationship. The relationship may be breaking or already broken under the strain of the problems. When Love Hurts provides practical and scriptural tools to help you transform your dysfunctional relationship. The 10 principles in this book will help you to experience freedom--to let go and love your loved one, and to experience peace, trust, and joy in the midst of the storm. It will even provide you with tools that increase the chance that your loved one will change--the very thing that you have been trying to make him or her do and have failed. One day at a time, you will begin to change and heal.

    Customer Reviews:

    5 out of 5 stars Choices that heal! .......2005-06-10

    There is so much I learned from this book! A lot of tools, understanding and truth is packed into an easy to read format. My husband and I poured through it and put as many of the principles we could to work right away. For me, two of the biggest principles I received, with God's help, is to detach from the difficult relationship and to look at my part and what I can change. I didn't think it was possible to feel God's peace and live my life normally during such a trying time for my family. I was able to not take everything so personally and even treat the person who was difficult with more respect and caring. I found, and it was definently a process, that I could infact feels God's peace and rest and not be so caught up in everything that I couldn't change. This book is extremely practical and truly can help anyone who's willing to change themselves. I have already referred back to it many times and know I will continue to do so. Anyone dealing with a difficult relationship and knows what it feels like to have love hurt needs to read this!
    How to Love When It Hurts so Bad 12 Steps to Healing Workbook
    Average customer rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    • A life saving book
    		 How to Love When It Hurts so Bad 12 Steps to Healing Workbook

    Manufacturer: Discovery Press
    ProductGroup: Book
    Binding: Paperback
    ASIN: 1881292509

    Customer Reviews:

    5 out of 5 stars A life saving book.......2007-03-07

    This book is so pro woman/pro man. Doug takes you through steps that heal each part of your heart that has been broken. He tells you you have value and how to go on living a Good happy life. How to really understand those around you and how to forgive love and go on in life after the trust has been broken. You will not be disappointed in this book. Also check out his other books. My fav is the "100 days to intimacy" book.
    Blessings on your journey!
    When Love Hurts
    Average customer rating: Not rated
      		When Love Hurts
      Michael Gifford
      Manufacturer: Authorhouse
      ProductGroup: Book
      Binding: Hardcover

      Religion & SpiritualityReligion & Spirituality | Subjects | Books | Audiobooks | Authors, A-Z | Bible & Other Sacred Texts | Buddhism | Christianity | Earth-Based Religions | Fiction | General | Hinduism | Islam | Judaism | Large Print | New Age | Occult | Other Eastern Religions | Other Practices | Religious Art | Religious Studies | Spirituality
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      ASIN: 1403318123
      When Love Hurts
      Average customer rating: Not rated
        		When Love Hurts
        Kenneth Piazza , and Francine Malder
        Manufacturer: Acropolis Books Inc
        ProductGroup: Book
        Binding: Hardcover

        GeneralGeneral | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
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        ASIN: 0874917395
        When Love Hurts: A Woman's Guide to Understanding Abuse in Relationships
        Average customer rating: Not rated
          		When Love Hurts: A Woman's Guide to Understanding Abuse in Relationships
          Jill Cory , Karen McAndless-Davis , and Karen R. McAndless-Davis
          Manufacturer: Womankind Press
          ProductGroup: Book
          Binding: Paperback

          GeneralGeneral | Self-Help | Health, Mind & Body | Subjects | Books
          ASIN: 096860160X

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