Open Secret: Gay Hollywood 1928-1998

Amazon.com

If David Ehrenstein's Open Secret says that somebody is gay, you can safely assume that he or she is (which is why the chapter on Tom Cruise reveals nothing more than reasons why people believe--or want to believe--he might be gay). Interviews with contemporary "out" stars, writers, and studio execs are balanced against the reminiscences of those who spent Tinseltown's golden age in the closet. This reveals how open Hollywood's tolerance of its gay and lesbian members has become, but it also shows the lack of similar progress in how the press deals with potential celebrity queerness. There isn't much difference, for example, between the scandal sheet Confidential's 1955 exposé of Tab Hunter's bust at a "pajama party ... for the boys" and the 1997 "Kevin Spacey Has a Secret" cover story in the ostensibly more respectable Esquire.

Open Secret flits from a visit to the set of the Ian McKellen-Brendan Fraser film Father of Frankenstein (based on the novel by Christopher Bram) to an analysis of Ellen DeGeneres's protracted coming-out process, from an overview of the impact of AIDS on the entertainment industry to the story of how Gus Van Sant almost made a movie of Randy Shilts's The Mayor of Castro Street. But the intersection of queer sexuality and Hollywood admittedly covers a lot of territory, and Ehrenstein does an admirable job of providing an overview. One bit of advice: skip over the very brief prologue, which tries a bit too hard to convince readers of the book's seriousness, and allow the informative and entertaining stories here to speak for themselves. --Ron Hogan

Book Description

Hollywood isn't just a place or an industry -- it's a fantasy that unfolds in the minds of moviegoers the world over. And talking about "who's gay in Hollywood" has always been the most socially acceptable way of talking about homosexuality period.But times have changed for gays and lesbians inside Hollywood and in the culture at large. Ellen DeGeneres "came out" to a world quite different from the one that allowed Marlene Dietrich to "stay in." And while Rupert Everett may be called "the gay Cary Grant," the real Cary Grant would never have described himself as gay -- even though he was.So what has it meant to be gay in Hollywood, not just as a star but behind the scenes as well? How homosexual actors and actresses came to define straight America's sexual self-image is only one of the paradoxical and provocative questions explored in Open Secret, a revealing cultural chronicle of gay Hollywood. From the silent era to the age of the multiplex and beyond, homosexuality has been a fact of life in the film industry, and scores of important personalities -- stars, writers, directors, producers -- have enjoyed long and spectacular careers on both sides of the camera, despite mainstream America's professed bias against gays.

Part social history and part Tinseltown expose, this entertaining book spans seventy years, painting knowing and vivid portraits of many of Hollywood's foremost gays and lesbians, often in the words of eyewitnesses or the principals themselves. Veteran entertainment journalist David Ehrenstein traces the gradual transformation from an era when gays and lesbians had no public profile in "polite" society to the modern era when many top entertainment figures are not merely comfortable with their sexuality but actually celebrate it -- and are in turn celebrated for it. In the process, he presents a unique reflection of American society as a whole and its ever-changing attitudes and values.

Customer Reviews:

Dull, Dull and Dreadful.......2005-11-12

This book has no life to it---I mean the writing--it is redundant, heavy, lackluster. Reads like a boring college research textbook. The author repeats and repeats and is consumed and obsessed with Ellen Degeneres over and over again. It is not like a book, but an overblown article. There is nothing new in the book--it is a historical account of gay and lesbians in Hollywood and boring as can be. Sorry I bought it but am thankful I got a used copy and did not pay much. I could hardly wait to finish it to throw it out as I did not even want to keep it. Forget this dull and dreadful book!

Much Ado about Nothing.......2003-03-05

It seems odd that this book, with its good intentions, would just be so unsatisfying as a read. You almost get the feeling that the author is on the outside of Hollywood looking in. He seems to be obsessed with Ellen. The book has a certain bitterness to it that doesn't play well.

I couldn't in all honesty recommend purchasing this book. Though if you find it at a public library, might be worth flipping through- but not checking out.

By no means a serious study of GayHollywood, but a good read.......2000-03-25

...nonetheless. This book is not a distasteful one unlike a vast majority of books about gays in Hollywood. It is also quite entertaining and should be regarded only as such: an entertaining book on a summer's day... In this case it does not really matter, whether the material is credible or not. If you do not take what you read TOO SERIOUSLY, then you will enjoy this book. If you want some serious study about gay actors, then look some place else for it.

Beef Jerky for the Brain.......1999-07-13

As one reader comments, this book is "a must for any serious Hollywood History library." Yes--in the same sense that the complete works of Ed Wood belong in every comprehensive home video collection.

Deeper analysis of being gay in Hollywood.......1999-06-18

If you want gossip, get a tabloid. If you'd rather read a thoughtful analysis of "gay Hollywood" in a social/historical context, get this book. This is not a list of who's gay and who isn't; Ehrenstein has chosen to write about what happened (and happens) to gays who are part of the Hollywood machine. He demonstrates, through first-person interviews and anecdotal accounts, in what ways Hollywood--the studios, the executives, the media, the audience--is and is not accepting of homosexuals. Not everyone in his book is famous, or a big time movie star, but they all have something to say or show about the difference between the gay Hollywood of the Cary Grant and Rock Hudson era and the gay Hollywood of the Ellen Degeneres and Tom Cruise era.

Amazon.com

More than 20 years have passed since Ellen DeGeneres came out to her mother on a beach in Mississippi. Stunned, Betty DeGeneres could only think of her own disappointed expectations. As she put her arms around her daughter, she was struck by the realization that she would never see Ellen's picture on the engagements page of the Times-Picayune, her local paper. That Ellen would eventually appear on the front page of the Picayune and countless newspapers and magazines around the world is an irony not lost on her mother: "If I had known she was going to grow up to be Ellen DeGeneres," Betty quips, "I would have taken more pictures."

Now the spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's National Coming Out Project, Betty DeGeneres travels the country explaining how she came to terms with her daughter's sexuality, and how love and acceptance can transform a family. Love, Ellen is an extension of her warm and much-admired public speaking, providing insight into her own life as well as Ellen's and arguing for further education, compassion, and the passage of antidiscrimination laws. --Regina Marler

Book Description

"Mom, I'm gay." With three little words, gay sons and daughters can change their parents' lives forever. Twenty years ago, during a walk on a Mississippi beach, Ellen DeGeneres spoke those simple, powerful words to her mother. That emotional moment eventually brought mother and daughter closer than ever, but it was not without a struggle. In Love, Ellen, Betty DeGeneres tells her story: the complicated path to acceptance and the deepening of her friendship with her daughter, the media's scrutiny of their family life, and the painful and often inspiring stories she's heard on the road as the first nongay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's National Coming Out Project.

Insightful, universally touching, and uncommonly wise, Love, Ellen is a story of friendship between mother and daughter and a lesson in understanding for all parents and their children.

"Mom, I'm gay." With three little words, gay children can change their parents' lives forever. Yet at the same times it's a chance for those parents to realize nothing, really, has changed at all; same kid, same life, same bond of enduring love.

Twenty years ago, during a walk on a Mississippi beach, Ellen DeGeneres spoke those simple, powerful words to her mother. That emotional moment eventually brought mother and daughter closer than ever, but not without a struggle. Coming from a republican family with conservative values, Betty needed time and education to understand her daughter's homosexuality -- but her ultimate acceptance would set the stage for a far more public coming out, one that would change history.

In Love, Ellen, Betty DeGeneres tells her story; the complicated path to acceptance and the deepening of her friendship with her daughter; the media's scrutiny of their family life; the painful and often inspiring stories she's heard on the road as the first non-gay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaigns National Coming Out Project.

With a mother's love, clear minded common sense, and hard won wisdom, Betty DeGeneres offers up her own very personal memoir to help parents understand their gay children, and to help sons and daughters who have been rejected by their families feel less alone."Mom, I'm gay." With three little words, gay children can change their parents' lives forever. Yet at the same times it's a chance for those parents to realize nothing, really, has changed at all; same kid, same life, same bond of enduring love.

Customer Reviews:

good read.......2007-08-22

gave me insight into the feelings a mom would have learning of a childs homosexuality. An easy read.

Love it!.......2007-08-07

A great book for Ellen lovers, and parents of gay and lesbian people, and for really anyone. Book came fast and it is a great read!

An Ordinary Family.......2007-06-01

Love Ellen is a beautiful story about the unbreakable bond between mother and daughter. No matter how difficult the challenges faced by either Betty or Ellen their love has always remained strong proven in this eye opening book. So many times we read about celebrities lives and are only shown a small portion of their emotions as though they need to hide their most sensitive side from public view. Love Ellen is an exception to that as we see a side of both women as they truly are: sensitive, emotional and very human. Read for yourself the laughter, sadness and tears as you explore their journey together. You will come away with the realization that no matter how difficult your own struggles there is help for you if only you can open your heart and trust. As you get to know the DeGeneres family you will realize they are just as ordinary as the rest of us. I highly recommend this book for those who need help coming out, loved ones needing a better understanding of homosexuality and that it is not a choice, but rather just another side of many individuals and also to fans of Ellen's who just want to explore who she is and how she made some of the most difficult decisions of her life. This book is a very real account of the understanding we, as human beings who all share so much in this world, need to accept.

Unconditional love.......2006-09-06

What is it like to have a child who is gay? In this book, Betty DeGeneres describes the moment that her daughter Ellen came out to her and admitted the secret which she kept from her mother for 20 years. After learning that her daughter was gay, Betty herself was forced to keep this secret for 20 more years, before Ellen came out to the world. This is a book about a mother's unconditional love for her daughter and about how her daughter's sexual orientation caused a complete change in her life. It is also about Ellen's family and how she went from being a sweet, funny little girl from New Orleans to being one of the top actess/comediennes of our times. It is also about how mother and daughter went from keeping Ellen's homosexuality a secret to how they became activists in the gay/lesbian movement. Throughout the book, the loving and positive spirit of both Ellen and Betty become very evident.

Love, Betty! .......2005-11-28

It's simply one great book!

Betty is an outstanding author and mother.

Alone in the Trenches: My Life As a Gay Man in the NFL

Average customer rating:

Alone No More
This is a really thoughtful book...
interesting for many reasons
Esera Finds Peace & Happiness
read for all

Alone in the Trenches: My Life As a Gay Man in the NFL
Esera Tuaolo , and John Rosengren
Manufacturer: Sourcebooks, Inc
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 1402205058

Book Description

This is Esera Tuaolo's own searing story of terror and hope. A Samoan raised on a Hawaiian banana plantation, he had a natural talent, football. He went on to play for five NFL teams: the Green Bay Packers, the Minnesota Vikings, the Jacksonville Jaguars, the Carolina Panthers, and the Atlanta Falcons in the 1999 Super Bowl. But for the nine years he played professional football he lived in terror that when his face flashed upon the TV screen, someone would divulge his darkest secret. Esera Tuaolo is gay.

Alone in the Trenches takes you inside the homophobic world of professional football and describes fears that almost drove him to suicide. He evokes heartbreak--how his older brother, Tua, died of AIDS--and hope when, Esera, a deeply devout Christian fell in love and started a family.

"Tuaolo emerges in these pages as a complex, intellectually curious and fascinating individual defined neither by his choice of career nor by his sexual orientation." --Booklist

"Tough, tender and brutally honest." --Robert Lipsyte, former New York Times sports columnist

"Even I was not prepared for his amazing life story." --Billy Bean, author of Going the Other Way

Customer Reviews:

Alone No More.......2007-06-25

Esera has been through a long struggle and come out on top. Now he is "Big Daddy" and Mitchell, his life partner, is "Little Daddy," to a pair of Samoan-American twins, Mitchell Junior and Michelle, and the two of them live quite, contented lives and travel frequently on Rosie O'Donnell's family cruises with their brood. Having twins has opened Esera's willingness to talk about his sexual preference, and he insists that he is doing it for them, so they will know how painful his life has been, in all its aspects.

He had it pretty bleak growing up, sort of like a Hawaiian version of Betty Smith's popular novel A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN, with a hardworking, sometimes impatient mother, and a charming, weak father who took away all of the fun with him when he died unexpectedly and far too young. And he had a gay older brother who died of AIDS, and a wicked uncle who began molesting little Esera when he was six, and who, in a melodramatic finish, got himself killed in a terrible accident and they had to identify his little pieces by his tattoos and dental work! It made me wonder, is the monster really dead? Or might he have faked his own death to avoid paying the consequences of messing with Esera--molestors, after all, know how to play the game and how to fool the rest of us who aren't sociopaths, and I thought, he's probably living the Gary Glitter lifestyle in Thailand or somewhere by now.

However, Esera seems quite certain he is dead. He has nothing good to say about Garrison Hearst either, which amused me! Don't invite those two to the same dinner party--Hearst would bolt like a scared jackrabbit!

Like other reviewers, I could have used a bit more detail about what sex is like when you're a closeted NFL star, for Esera is one of the view who has been through the neon inside and escaped to tell the story. And although he seems frank about his addictions to alcohol and grass (or whatever), I wonder if there isn't anything he's not telling us. In the meantime, I look forward to Esera's forthcoming CD of modern pop music, for the descriptions he gives of his haunting, majestic voice make him seem like a modern day Perry Como, only with more "ufis" (balls).

This is a really thoughtful book..........2006-12-19

Esera's book reads very well. I really appreciate that he shares his life with us, he did not have to. I have met the man at Univ. of Hawaii, he does have a beautiful voice.. and a year later finally read the book. I read this book and Reichen Lehmkuhl's "Here's What We'll Say" at the same time. Each book has it's positive and negatives but this book is much better flowing, seems more genuine, and Esera has such a big heart. It really pains me to see all that he went through to make some money in the game of football. I related much to his story and it really helped me. I live here in Hawaii and I know how disjointed the community is here due to culture and social stigmas. I wish he would have talked more about his relationship, living with a stylist has it's own stories to tell! Hmmm, maybe I will write a book Esera?

interesting for many reasons.......2006-08-15

The whole book is great. As a gay parent myself, I love to see more gay people telling their stories. But aside from that, the most interesting part of the book was the influence of religious conservatives on NFL players. As a sports fan, I found those sections alarming. Not because I think players should not express their faith, but because of the strong-arm tactics that may be in use to influence people's careers.
Read the book, it's a quick read.

Esera Finds Peace & Happiness.......2006-07-19

I give this a 5 because he deserves it. This poor guy was so paranoid and afraid of being caught or outed before he chose to do so himself. It is the predominant theme in the book and gets tiresome at times-but I suppose he had a lot to lose being a football player. He's gentlemanly enough to leave out all the juicy stories he could probably tell, but it's always interesting to read how one evolves from a closet case. I e-mailed Esera but never heard back from him and was VERY disappointed over that!!! What's up Esera, you don't appreciate fans??

read for all.......2006-03-02

what i got from esera tuaolo's book was so much more than i ever expected. tuaolo's story tore at my heart, the pain of his self identity that drove him to the edge...that in the end became a source of his strength was very powerful. i feel that those, who are in a place where there orientation has to be kept hidden, will now find comfort in knowing that others have been there and that life can, and often is, a wonderful place outside the closet. i see this as a tool to help educate, and make those who feel gays don't have a place in our society, to rethink just how much pain and destruction that they have helped fuel by creating the environment where so many feel the need to hide in the shadows of fear. maybe this man's story will help to bring more people together. the book was a very quick read, the story pulled me in and i felt like esera was reading it to me. his amazing positive energy came through as i read. however, it did not make the darkest parts of the book easy to read.
i hoped this has helped someone considering this book to give it a read.

Confessions of the Other Mother: Non-Biological Lesbian Moms Tell All

Average customer rating:

Great for "other mothers" out there...
The other mother needs to read these!
Not Just For The Other Mother!
All is told... and it makes the world a better place!
Much Need Voice

Confessions of the Other Mother: Non-Biological Lesbian Moms Tell All

Manufacturer: Beacon Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0807079634

Book Description

A lively collection of true tales that illuminate and celebrate lesbian parenting from the nonbiological mother's perspective

Customer Reviews:

Great for "other mothers" out there..........2007-10-03

Very easy to read. Nice glimpses of a variety of moms (and babas) and how they fit in their roles and how families come together to make it work. As a future "other mom," I found this really helpful and validating.

The other mother needs to read these!.......2007-07-08

We have read them together and it was helpful to start discussions about some of our fears for our family!

Not Just For The Other Mother!.......2007-07-05

As the biological lesbian mom, reading this book; as our little boy still squirms around in my belly, has helped prepare me/us for some of the other issues or concerns we may face as a lesbian couple preparing to raise a child. It has been a wonderful tool for my partner and me to discuss topics and concerns that we hadn't yet thought of. It has also given me a new perspective and sensitivity to the issues she may be faced with as the other mother.

I especially enjoyed the variety in authors. Each chapter takes on a whole new personality, making it very diverse and quite entertaining. Each story is so well written and articulate, not to mention funny, heartbreaking, and touching.

A great read for anyone who is looking to be entertained and enlightened.

All is told... and it makes the world a better place!.......2007-04-03

The book is funny and touching, honest and real. It is a reflection of a part of our society, that is often ignored from within.

This is not just a "lesbian mom" book. It is a "everyone" book. There is something for everyone and will touch you at some point in the book on many levels.

I could not put it down!

Much Need Voice.......2006-11-05

This book provides a much needed voice to the world of parenting essays and writing. The essays range from serious to hysterical, covering a wide range of experiences. I highly recommend the book for all parents, gay, straight, biological or non-biological. It's about being parents.

Average customer rating:

For those of you who keep a diary...
Great in Parts, Weak as a Whole
An Amazing Life
A Personal History
For as much as I like Gore Vidal works, I found this book a disapointing reading

Palimpsest: A Memoir
Gore Vidal
Manufacturer: Penguin (Non-Classics)
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0140260897

Amazon.com

A candid memoir of Vidal's first 40 years of life. His famous skills as a raconteur, his forthrightness, and his wicked wit are brilliantly at work in these recollections of a difficult family, talented friends, and interesting enemies.

Book Description

This explosively entertaining memoir abounds in gossip, satire, historical apercus, and trenchant observations. Vidal's compelling narrative weaves back and forth in time, providing a whole view of the author's celebrated life, from his birth in 1925 to today, and features a cast of memorable characters--including the Kennedy family, Marlon Brando, Anais Nin, and Eleanor Roosevelt. of photos.

Customer Reviews:

For those of you who keep a diary..........2007-10-19

...have you ever had the experience of looking back at what you wrote and practically cringing at your own attempts to dissemble? This book reads that way. You feel held at arms length; the narrator is cool and distant, yet you feel so close to him it's almost uncomfortable.

There's an interesting tension between shielding your soul from people while at the same time longing for them to know every single thing about you -- what do you mean, your "fax machine has become a time machine." What are you talking about?? You don't need to make excuses to talk about your high school sweetheart; we were *hoping* you would.

Anyway, the events of this book were not very exciting to me, but Vidal's explanation of himself is really something. He does things most memoirists can't. It's very good.

Great in Parts, Weak as a Whole.......2007-08-28

The juicy bits are marvelous, like Tennesee Williams happily commenting on JFK's figure and Gore confronting Bobby K. The early years, in particular the stories about Gore's grandfather the blind senator, are deeply touching. But then this memoir flits from one big name to another, one celebrity to the next, without offering much understanding or coherence. It becomes repetitious. It does not measure up to Gore's essays, let alone his wonderful historical novels. But it's a good enough read if you're curious about the cast characters, including literary figures from the mid-20th century as well as various members of the Kennedy clan. There is even a bit about Hilary Clinton visiting Gore's house on a cliff in Italy--one of the duller sections of the book. If you're new to Gore, better go to Burr or Lincoln and then follow the series through 1876, Empire and Hollywood. Or start with Julian, a fictional take on the last great Roman pagan, and a unique reading experience.

An Amazing Life.......2007-05-21

Jackie Kennedy's step-brother shares the story of his extraordinary life, from his first love at age 18, through the age of 39.

A Personal History.......2007-05-04

Vidal, Gore. "Palimpsest", Penguin, 1996.

A Personal History

Amos Lassen and Literary Pride

To write a good and interesting memoir, one has to have led as life of excitement and Gore Vidal has. He gives an inside view of his life until he reached the age of 39. During those years he was part of American history and stepped fully into the culture of those years. He is step-brother to the late first lady, Jacqueline Kennedy and he seems to have known everyone of any importance from playwright Tennessee Williams to another first lady, Eleanor Roosevelt. He has become an icon of culture and good taste, totally suave and sophisticated. As a [...] male he has been labeled but he has managed to rise above that. From Vida, we all get to read about the society in which he lives and is a part of and which is so lucky to have him. More than just a memoir, it is a witness to history.
Vidal's life reads like a roller coaster ride. At 18 he fell in love with a boy who was killed in World War II and he decided that love was not his cup of tea and swore to never love again. He decided to never fall in love again and to settle for just sex with no emotional involvement. His honest and revealing life story entertains through out. I find myself looking back into every once in a while for sheer pleasure. His family is fascinating from his relationship to his step sister, his mother with her attitudes toward him, his grandfather, a blind Senator named Gore that gave him family ties to former vice president Al Gore. He writes of these people in the stream of consciousness and goes from past to present at will and everything is commented upon. He has been a mainstay in the literary world since he entered in 1945 and one of the highlights of the book is when he goes back to find former friends like poet Allen Ginsberg and the mother of his lover who was killed. He attempts to recover what he lost and when he writes of his boy who was killed at Iwo Jima, he is bigger than life and extremely human. That death has haunted his life and by putting in on the page, he is relieved of some of his personal pain.
As an author Vidal has turned out 24 novels, two memoirs, five plays, 13 essay collections and a book of short story. He is indeed prolific and no stranger to best-seller lists. His wit and personal wisdom are his trademarks and his calling cards. He both loves and hates the United States. He exaggerates to make a point and makes what might not seem to be interesting to be of major importance. His opinions are wonderful even if not to your liking. His disdain is aristocratic and snobbish and wonderful. As he winds and turns through his personal history he evokes a bittersweet life.

For as much as I like Gore Vidal works, I found this book a disapointing reading.......2007-03-29

As you would expect, this book is very well written, as anything else that Vidal writes. But if you are looking for an insightful book, this is not a book for you. His has been, doubtless, an extraordinary life from sitting at the opera as a child next to Mussolini to being connected through a stepfather to Jackie Kennedy-Onasis.

At the end of the day, I found this to be an anecdotical as oposed as insightful autobiography, and it seems to me, the reason for this is his lack of emotional insight in his every day life. Nothing wrong with this, but is not something I like to read.

Waiting for the Call: From Preacher's Daughter to Lesbian Mom

Average customer rating:

Bravo!
Fabulous Autobiography

Waiting for the Call: From Preacher's Daughter to Lesbian Mom
Jacqueline Taylor
Manufacturer: University of Michigan Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0472032380

Customer Reviews:

Bravo!.......2007-07-05

Ms. Taylor has written a beautiful, touching story about her life. As the daughter of a Baptist minister, I could relate to growing up in a southern town, faced with the struggles she experienced. As a social worker, I found her issues surrounding her mother's mental illness, international adoption, and facing her children's challenges in having two mommies and being adopted fascinating. As a human being, I found her story to be touching, beautiful, and a must read for everyone. I applaud your efforts, Jackie. I couldn't put the book down! Thanks for giving us such a beautiful story.

Fabulous Autobiography.......2007-06-17

This book is excellent. It has depth and insight on many common human issues; family relationships, international adoption, parenting, therapy, spirituality and religion, and it is all shared with humor and love. It's a page turner!

Average customer rating:

Love in the time of AIDS
How painfully, yet wonderfully, enlightening this book is...
Devastating, beautiful and true
One of the best books ever.
If you want to know what love is

Borrowed Time: An AIDS Memoir
Paul Monette
Manufacturer: Harvest Books
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ASIN: 0156005816

Book Description

This "tender and lyrical" memoir (New York Times Book Review) remains one of the most compelling documents of the AIDS era-"searing, shattering, ultimately hope inspiring account of a great love story" (San Francisco Examiner). A National Book Critics Circle Award finalist and the winner of the PEN Center West literary award.

Customer Reviews:

Love in the time of AIDS.......2007-02-05

"I don't know if I will live to finish this," begins this memoir by Paul Monette, who would ultimately live only seven years after he did complete it (and, auspiciously, several other works). Monette's account is a chronicle of the last days of his lover Roger Horwitz in 1985 and 1986: a mere nineteen months between diagnosis and death. It's an emotionally devastating portrait; yet, far from wallowing in his grief (although grieve he does), Monette instead describes this period as a battle to extend Roger's life and a determination to seize every remaining day and make the most of it.

An AIDS diagnosis in 1985, in Los Angeles, doomed the couple to an unwanted pioneer status; it was a "death sentence" mitigated only by hope and delusion. For the first half of the decade, Paul and Roger comforted themselves with the notion that the disease, whatever it was, confined itself to a certain group of fast-living libertines ("not us") in San Francisco and Los Angeles. When the reality hit home, the initial method of coping, shared to different degrees by themselves and by their friends (and particularly by Roger's brother), was a mixture of mortification and denial.

Once Roger became ill, however, the couple fought tooth and nail to pursue every potential pharmaceutical elixir or therapeutic panacea; they were on the vanguard of trials for suramin (with devastating side effects) and for the more successful "Compound S" (AZT), which Monette credits for extending Roger's life. Throughout, they struggled to present a united front of normalcy and optimism, with Roger attempting to practice law from his hospital bed and Paul flying to New York for meetings in the Russian Tea Room with the newly famous Whoopi Goldberg about an ultimately doomed screenplay ("it must've dismayed her considerably to think that this humorless man sipping broth and Coca-Cola was meant to be her breakthrough into feature comedy").

Still, if it's possible to say that one can be "fortunate" in such circumstances, Roger and Paul had the only advantages available at the time: money, connections, and (mostly) supportive family and friends. In spite of the sequence of crises and disappointments, they somehow managed to find time to laugh and to love amidst the anger and the betrayals; Monette's wit and fair-mindedness saves this work from overwhelming the reader with morbid pity and depression. Paul and Roger were often too busy chasing hope to pause and wallow; those moments were often saved for the morning. ("Waking teaches you pain.") What's most remarkable about this book is not the riveting and livid account from the front of the epidemic--such memoirs are plentiful--but the lyrical and even humorous appreciation of the "borrowed time" remaining to these two admirable profiles in courage.

How painfully, yet wonderfully, enlightening this book is..........2007-01-20

Although I am a conservative Christian who has never been "homophobic", I have been 100 percent guilty of "indifference" to what it really means to be gay and and the AIDS issue. Not any more. I began to research the issues and I have been telling everyone about this book. The genuine love story and respectful relationship that Paul and Roger shared is something everyone could learn from. I don't believe I have ever read a book that portrays such courage. The pain that both of these men endured would make the average person collapse under the weight. I know what the Bible says about homosexuality, but I believe that Jesus himself would just wants us stop judging and comdemning and to simply love one another as he loves us. All of us.

Devastating, beautiful and true.......2005-06-06

'Borrowed Time' is the most unpretentious, cliche free account of love I've read. So much of it's power lies in what Paul does not say about his lover: describing him most often as his most precious 'friend' he asks the reader to understand, to implicitly know the strength of his passion. The simple assumption that readers across cities, countries, cultures will understand his emotions is what gives the story so much beauty. I fell in love with both Paul and Roger, or more specifically, the strength of what they had together.
The battle against AIDS and discrimination faced by both men made me bawl, and I hope this book is read by people working through their prejudices and moral judgements about the both the illness and its prevalence in the gay community at the time the events occurred. Surely Paul and Roger's love can only be seen as something beautiful that graced the earth, even briefly.

One of the best books ever........2005-05-28

I don't know how this book didn't win every award the publishing world has to offer. Quite simply, this one volume is the most emotionally devastating work I've ever read. I've read about hate crimes, political assassination and Nazi persecution, but none touch this. Several times I had to set the book down because I was no longer able to read through great, racking sobs and eyes nearly swollen shut. I grieved.

Paul Monette, author of the the award winning memoir "Becoming a Man: Half a Life Story," died of AIDS not too long after losing his beloved companion Roger to the disease. That he was able to focus so much energy on chronicling the events of Roger's death in this memoir, was a mircle - and indeed this book is a miraclous gift. "Borrowed Time" is a story of pain, suffering, hope, strength and courage. However, and more importantly, it is a love story - the greatest I've ever read.

If you want to know what love is.......2004-10-01

I listened to Paul Monette read from his memoir on a recorded book; and the experience was unforgettable, profound, wholly human, and perhaps the best meditation on love I've ever read. Without going into the details of the 1980's AIDS "scene," which this book also authentically and accurately portrays, this "love story" depicts and explored and revealed so tenderly and so poetically that it should be placed on all the bookstores in the relatinship section of the major chains--and recommended for straight and gay couples. And while the booksellers are at it, they should remainder all the John Gray, Dr. Phil and every other "author" who address relationships in a vapid, moronic, demeaning way. This book may be the best argument for "gay marriage," although I hesitate in recommending this in fear that such a beautiful relationship as portrayed in this work could be subsumed under such a shaky institution. It would also be a d_mn good book for heterosexual, especially "conservative Christian" couples, men and women to read together: Not necessarily to change minds about the law, but at least to change misconceived perceptions about their fellow humans. And a note to women, if you would like your guy to be a better "listener" and a better "lover," read this book--not those goofball "women's magazines." This book might also make some right-wing ideologues re-think some of their kneeejerk definitions of "values" and realize that perhaps it is THEIR values that need some looking into. N.B. I am not gay. I am a straight male.

Exile in Guyville: How a Punk-Rock Redneck Faggot Texan Moved to West Hollywood And Refused to Be Shiny And Happy

Average customer rating:

Very Funny take on Moving to LA!!
Please sir, can I have some more?
Brilliant
Funniest Book I've Read Recently
Hilarious!

Exile in Guyville: How a Punk-Rock Redneck Faggot Texan Moved to West Hollywood And Refused to Be Shiny And Happy
Dave White
Manufacturer: Alyson Books
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 1555839320

Book Description

Here's the diary of a man who in mid-life found himself uprooted and dumped into West Hollywood, an unfamiliar place not exactly known for stability. White explores his neighborhood ? "queens: 6 percent; cranky 70-year-old Russians who give you the evil eye when you walk past: 2 percent; blonde girls with big, round, hard fakeys who think Jennifer Anniston just got lucky: 10 percent; miscellaneous cool kids, hustlers, and actual crazy people: 5 percent."

White gets gigs as a freelance writer, goes to the grocery store where his Russian neighbors ask him questions because they think he's from the old country; and encounters Sara Gilbert at the Laundromat, Leonard Maltin at the movies, and Ben Affleck driving a Rolls-Royce so ridiculously conspicuous he might as well be driving Chitty-Chitty, Bang-Bang.

What began as weekly diaries emailed to out-of-state family and friends evolved into a blog called "Dave White Knows" and in 2003 became a monthly column in Instinct called "Exile in Guyville." Alyson Books now presents White's blogs in expanded form with loads of new material that will be even more irritating to the Instinct readers who didn't like his column. "They requested more fashion and skin-care features in its place, which makes me kind of proud."

Dave White is a freelance journalist specializing in music. His reviews and features have been seen in E! Online, IFILM, LA Weekly, Dallas Observer, Instinct, The Advocate, Glue, Cybersocket, Total Movie, Unzipped, and Frontiers. White lives in West Hollywood with his boyfriend, the Morocco Mole, and is locally esteemed as the "King of Pancakes."

Customer Reviews:

Very Funny take on Moving to LA!!.......2007-06-21

As a native Angeleno, I was ready to take offense at Dave's experience of Los Angeles, but I was laughing too hard. He's had some pretty interesting experiences of LA. A very light, fun read.

Please sir, can I have some more?.......2007-06-12

I loved this book, I loved Dave's unapologetic ranting and whining about LA and its inhabitants (a**holes!!). I loved his special brand of 'gayness' and his queeny categorisations of the OTHER brands of gayness he is forced to interact with in rainbow flagged West Hollywood. For all the other non-shinyhappy people who inhabit (yes they do!!!) anywhere out of the LA geographical area, this book is a refreshing take on the whole stereotypical celeb seething wannabe clusterf*** that is 'reality' for anyone LIVING in LA and earning less than mega squillions a year. If you enjoy reading books like "Chorewhore", or relate to the hispanic domestics everpresent in the background in any LA-based flick, you'll also enjoy Exile in Guyville.

It'd be great to see a follow up, or even a collection of Dave's columns. His observations of his grudgingly adopted home town resonate at the same frequency as Henry Rollins occasionally do: they both live there because they have to but they aren't going down without a fight goddarnit! These are witnesses to the flabbergasting proliferation of acceptable a**holeness which is flourishing in places like LA: road rage, blithe and rampant consumerism, self-centredness, rudeness and downright unfriendliness. Dave observes the LA reactions to his natural Texan inclination to greet a stranger or passer-by with a wave or a smile and he comments also that the people of LA regard themselves, and not the sun, as the centre of the universe.

I like that people like Dave and Henry are documenting and commenting. And congratulations Dave, you did it stylishly and with humour. It'd be good to see some more.

Brilliant.......2007-03-28

White's brilliance lies in the fact that the review by "Aniston Obsessed" is a compliment to "Exile."

Funniest Book I've Read Recently.......2007-03-08

Homophobes stay away - as one should gather from the title. That being said - this book had me laughing out loud. It's a must buy. I've already bought a copy for one of my friends.

Hilarious! .......2007-01-06

I discovered Dave White because he writes an American Idol blog which I look forward to each and every week.

Exile in Guyville did not disappoint. Dave chronicles his first year in the hell that is LA. Despite that fact that he has serious trouble adjusting, he never loses his keen sense of humor. There are many many laugh out loud moments.

I loved it!

Obviously, this book isn't for everybody. So if the title offends you, move along. But if you consider whining a hobby, and other people's crabbiness makes you laugh, you will love Exile in Guyville!

Nicole Del Sesto, author of All Encompassing Trip

Janet, My Mother, and Me: A Memoir of Growing Up with Janet Flanner and Natalia Danesi Murray

Average customer rating:

This book only tells part of the story!
Fascinating Memoir
Phenomenal book
Very interesting book on several levels
A fascinating memoir

Janet, My Mother, and Me: A Memoir of Growing Up with Janet Flanner and Natalia Danesi Murray
William Murray
Manufacturer: Simon & Schuster
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 0684809664

Amazon.com

William Murray, a staff writer at The New Yorker for more than 30 years and author of more than 20 books, had the good fortune to be raised by a couple who loved one another intensely and doted on him completely. That the couple was composed of two remarkable and remarkably independent women who happened to be lovers didn't faze Murray in the least, despite the prevailing social winds of the '40s and '50s. That those two women were Natalia Danesi Murray (his mother) and Janet Flanner, The New Yorker's celebrated author of the "Letter from Paris" column, added indescribable richness to his life and helped inspire him towards his own career as a writer.

In this winning memoir, Murray narrates the life story of his mother (born in Rome, she would develop a diverse career that included freelance writer, radio broadcaster, actress, and publishing big wheel--a woman he describes as "an explosive force of nature"); his maternal grandmother, Mammina Ester (who lived with them and had herself been a journalistic and literary firebrand in Italy, and during WWI was the first Italian female war correspondent to ever visit a front); and Janet Flanner, who wrote under the pseudonym Genêt and was lauded in Mary McCarthy's elegy as a "first citizen and patron of the arts, with some mythic quality in her like a splendid sacred bird."

Murray tells his life story as well, growing up in New York and Italy, his life imbued with the fine arts of two cultures and the three women who raised him and molded him. His memoir is at once a movingly personal story, a revelation into the persona of three historic women, and an insight into how lesbians navigated their professional worlds and a disapproving society while maintaining a family life and a passion for one another. It's also a pleasant, gentle read, a story told in a genial tone about an earlier time. The individuals Murray describes are luminous personalities, and the reader feels privileged to share in their glow through the pages of this touching memoir. --Stephanie Gold

Book Description

Janet, My Mother, and Me is a charming, captivating memoir about a boy growing up in a household of two extraordinary women. William Murray was devoted to his mother, Natalia Danesi Murray, and to his mother's longtime lover, writer Janet Flanner. Even as a teenager, he accepted their unconventional relationship. His portrait of the two most important people in his life is unforgettable.

Janet Flanner was already celebrated as the author of a new style of personal journalism for her "Letter from Paris" in The New Yorker when she met the Italian-born Natalia Murray on Fire Island, New York, in 1940. Their encounter, writes William Murray, was a "coup de foudre, a thunderbolt that instantly sent them rushing into each other's arms and forever altered their lives, as well as mine."

Murray was already growing up in two cultures on different continents, in New York and Rome, when his mother's life changed so dramatically. He quickly accepted Flanner and the unusual household in which he found himself. (Natalia's mother, Mammina Ester, also lived with them in New York.) His memories of the women and of his own boyhood and adolescence are touching and often hilarious.

Janet, My Mother, and Me offers a look at the world in which gay professional women moved in the decades before such relationships became more open and accepted. Murray's mother was a publishing executive and a broadcaster, and Murray, who originally hoped to become an opera singer and trained for that profession, eventually moved into the professions of both his mother and Flanner, becoming a novelist and then for many years an editor and writer at The New Yorker.

This is an exuberant, warm, and often poignant memoir with a memorable cast of characters. Beguiling and unusual, it will remain vivid in readers' minds for years to come.

Customer Reviews:

This book only tells part of the story!.......2005-05-29

I first got this book because I was curious about it from the obituary. I read it today in it's entirety. I think the author does deserve a superb job in allowing us to understand each of the real people with flaws and talents. I was led to believe that Natalia and Janet were always together but as I read. They were separated and torn apart for other reasons. Natalia never really comes out to acknowledge her sexual orientation. Bill never doubts his own. He reveals a lot about himself like losing his virginity to a prostitute. Bill's childhood was not entirely spent at home but at boarding schools in New England. I think Janet served as a father figure. When she was 83 years old, she had to retire to New York and live the last 3 years with Natalia. Why she kept coming and going to and from is puzzling to me? Janet was a complicated woman and these two women truly loved each other. Maybe the separations allowed them to love each other more apart. Will never really know? We weren't truly there ourselves. Bill allows us to see his childhood was normal. I was surprised that his mother would worry about his sexual orientation. I wondered what would have happened if he turned out gay himself. Would she blame herself? Who knows? I read about Alice, his second wife. I don't think Natalia understood their relationship. Now that all 3 members of that unique family is gone, I think Alice deserves some mention. Bill wasn't the best husband or father. They did live together for 5 years before their marriage. I say give Alice a break. They were together for 30 years. At the end of Natalia's life, she was unbearable probably because she was ill physically and medication often can contribute to a person's mental state. Bill and Alice stayed together for 30 years. I admire Alice and his first wife Doris who managed to deal with an overbearing mother-in-law. I also think Natalia had trouble letting go of Bill all his life and that's why there is so much trouble. Since Bill is gone, my condolences to Alice, Doris, Natalia, Julia, and Bill III over your more recent loss.
After reading this book, I became fascinated with Janet Flanner. I bought other books which educated me more about this situation. Sadly, this book is only a part of an amazing woman's story. I won't say that Janet didn't love Natalia but she had two other lovers, Solita Solano and Noel Haskins Murphy in France. Janet did not belong to anybody much less Natalia. Janet belonged to the world. She was larger than life. In fact, Noel and Solita did share a negative reception of Natalia's part of Janet's relationships. The reason that Natalia did not move to Paris was because Janet's partner Solita and Noel did not care too much for Natalia. They found her possessive and overbearing. Janet was not always happy in New York City with Natalia. She was happiest in Paris where she belonged. I won't say that they didn't love each other but it was not an ideal relationship. Natalia wanted Janet all to herself and Janet was torn between Noel, Solita, and Natalia. Janet was an amazing woman. This book only tells part of the story from Bill Murray's point of view. The book asks more questions than provides answers. I don't think Bill wanted to know about the true nature of Janet's relationships. She was not monogamous and she didn't belong to NAtalia but she did love her to spend time with her. Regardless, they're all in heaven having a ball.

Fascinating Memoir.......2002-08-01

I admit that my knowledge of Janet Flanner was hazy when I bought this book, my exposure to the "New Yorker" limited to a few issues per year only in the last ten years. That wasn't the selling point for me -- I had read good reviews that this was the memoir of a boy raised in a non-traditional home in the 1940s and that detail fascinated me.

This is a crisply written, completely fascinating account of William Murray's gypsy childhood in the literary circles of New York, Fire Island and Rome. It is a story of becoming a man, of weathering stormy relations with parents, and about his own struggles to make a life for himself as a writer.

There are two generations of literary lives detailed: I was fascinated to learn how much professional writers struggle even after achieving success. Janet Flanner lived in hotels across the world, constantly missing her deadlines; the author himself resorted throughout his 20s and 30s to gambling and part time jobs to scrape by. Even his first two years working as a writer for the New Yorker came and went without him getting an article published. This is the dark side of the artist's life, and one we hear too little of.

My only disappointment with this book -- and it's minor-- is that it is really the story of an artist's life, not the story of being the child of a lesbian. Janet Flanner's role in the author life could just as well be that of a step-father; the fact that she is a lesbian is superfluous. But, maybe that in and of itself makes a point.

A fascinating and well written memoir -- worth reading.

Phenomenal book.......2001-07-10

When I look back on the many books I've read over the past year (easily 50 or more), I can say emphatically that this was one of the best and most memorable. I can remember where I sat (by a fountain) when I began the book, and where I was (at a garden) when I closed its cover for the final time. Murray captured the essence of a very complex, yet loving relationship between two sophisticated, intelligent women. After I finished his book, I yearned to learn more about them, and read a biography of Flanner, Murray's mother's book of correspondence between herself and Flanner, and several of Flanner's New Yorker compilations. A heartfelt thanks, William Murray.

Very interesting book on several levels.......2001-01-24

I just finished this book and enjoyed it tremendously. This book appealed to me on several levels. As an American ex-patriate living outside Paris, I could relate to many of the comments Janet made. Although I love France, I will always be an outsider. This book is not so much an homosexual story as it is a love story among these people. It is a testament to how love can endure long distances, different cultures and social constraints. I recommend this book highly to anyone who enjoys reading historically based biographies with a love story intertwined. Besides, I can't resist buying a good book with good photographs.

A fascinating memoir.......2000-08-19

As a New Englander of mixed Italian and English ancestry, I feel I can relate easily to William Murray's experience, even though the Italian ladies in my background were houswives and factory workers, and not the brilliant and accomplished sort of person his mother was. Natalia's relationship with Janet Flanner is interesting and shows her (Natalia's) deep sense of humanity and commitment as well as her strong nurturing capacities. Italian mothers always think they are right, and my own opinion is that they always are right. Murray emphasizes Flanner's virtues and other good points, but I wonder about why she was so incapable of sacrificing a little of her time, her career, her work for the woman who loved her and whom she said she loved.

Amazon.com

Housecleaner extraordinaire Louise Rafkin reads her own work as efficiently as she cleans bathtubs and snoops through the letter pile. Rafkin's voice is pleasantly modulated and well suited to her dry humor in Other People's Dirt, a parallel tale of her cleaning habits and socio-spiritual explorations. Vacuum-cleaner sound effects demarcate chapters in this nearly unabridged version, whose brief chapters are punchy and well suited to audio. (Running time: three hours, two cassettes) --Barrie Trinkle

Book Description

"Alone in a house, I piece together strands of life stories as if I were an archaeologist, the home a midden... I don't read diaries, I read clues." After earning an M.A. in Comparative Literature, Louise Rafkin, facing a career choice, took the road less traveled. She became a housecleaner. The money was better than teaching, the lifestyle intriguing for someone with an insatiable curiosity about her fellow human beings. And while she quickly became an expert on the best vacuum cleaner in the world--and the most efficient paper towels--she also saw the unseen parts of people's lives.

In this fresh, funny, strikingly original memoir, she talks about her invisible status as a domestic worker in a world of illicit sex and secret livees, of closet alcoholics and binge eaters, unlikely spiritualists and revealing celebrities.

In Other People's Dirt, Louise Rafkin reveals something about our values, our society, and ourselves. And, from the detritus of our lives, she gives us something at once delightfully entertaining and profound.

"Rafkin is a wonderful storyteller." --The Wall Street Journal

"Rafkin delivers the dirt on cleaning with investigative zeal and remarkable depth. A!" --Entertainment Weekly

"A wonderfully odd-ball memoir...Rafkin delights in the absurdities of her profession and has a keen eye for the peculiarities of human behavior." --The San Francisco Chronicle

Customer Reviews:

No Dirt Here.......2006-12-01

I'm not sure what this book is supposed to be -- a tell-all? An exploration of the history of cleaning and its place in western culture? A treatise about the underclass? I think part of the problem is that the author herself is not sure where she is, in the metaphysical sense. I couldn't tell why she was a cleaner. If she liked it. Even where she lived! And as far as "other people's dirt," there was precious little here. Not at all what I expected. I was more than a little annoyed at the curious tone the book took towards the idea that those who hire cleaners are somehow exploiting them... Very confusing. I was looking for an author who was going to dish some dirt and instead got an earful about Marxist theory.

Waste of time.......2006-05-17

I should have cleaned my house instead of reading this haphazardly written mess.

good clean fun.......2005-07-16

Entertaining, and easily read in one sitting. It isn't particularly deep or meaningful, but certainly jaunty and fun. Ms. Rafkin has an eye for the absurd. She briefly mentions a book about the history of maids, and more information about that would have made the book more interesting. I liked the tips on what to do if you hire a housecleaner; that's worth the price of the book.

The Real Dirt.......2005-04-20

This book should be required reading for not only every person in the business of cleaning houses, but also for those who have their houses cleaned. "Other People's Dirt" portrays a truthful, funny, occasionally aggrieved, but always intelligent story of occupation--an occupation often overlooked and stereotyped.

As the owner of a vacation resort, a mom and pop operation where I'm not only the "glamorous" hostess but (on Saturdays) the very unglamorous cleaning woman, I could relate to the tales exposing sometimes surprising (sometimes revolting) lifestyles. While the author seemed to dive into lives of her clients far more than I would ever consider, it's clear she did so with the purpose of studying human nature. To call her "grumpy" or even resentful by exposing these stories in the book, critics fail to see the pure entertainment value of this quick, little read.

On the other hand, I've had weekly cleaning ladies enter my personal home(s) for many, many years. Through Louise Rafkin's book, I have learned how to keep anything truly personal, personal. For example, you bet I strip my own bed lest anyone attempt to get an inside look at my sex life!!!

Particularly because of the controversy and strong reader reactions it has caused, I think this book is a gem and I highly recommend.

From the author of "I'm Living Your Dream Life," and "The Things I Wish I'd Said," McKenna Publishing Group.

Do I want to have a maid?.......2004-04-27

I thought it was very interesting how the author's described what she witnessed, and what evidence she saw of people's lives. The insight she gave into her own life and the lives of other house cleaners was also interesting and insightful. I thought the book ended a little strangely but I have learned that these types of books and their authors often end strangely.

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