Book Description
People who are single are changing the face of America. Did you know that:
* More than 40 percent of the nation’s adults---over 87 million people---are divorced, widowed, or have always been single.
* There are more households comprised of single people living alone than of married parents and their children.
* Americans now spend more of their adult years single than married.
Many of today’s single people have engaging jobs, homes that they own, and a network of friends. This is not the 1950s---singles can have sex without marrying, and they can raise smart, successful, and happy children. It should be a great time to be single. Yet too often single people are still asked to defend their single status by an onslaught of judgmental peers and fretful relatives.
Prominent people in politics, the popular press, and the intelligentsia have all taken turns peddling myths about marriage and singlehood. Marry, they promise, and you will live a long, happy, and healthy life, and you will never be lonely again.
Drawing from decades of scientific research and stacks of stories from the front lines of singlehood, Bella DePaulo debunks the myths of singledom---and shows that just about everything you’ve heard about the benefits of getting married and the perils of staying single are grossly exaggerated or just plain wrong. Although singles are singled out for unfair treatment by the workplace, the marketplace, and the federal tax structure, they are not simply victims of this singlism. Single people really are living happily ever after.
Filled with bracing bursts of truth and dazzling dashes of humor, Singled Out is a spirited and provocative read for the single, the married, and everyone in between.
You will never think about singlehood or marriage the same way again.
Singled Out debunks the Ten Myths of Singlehood, including:
Myth #1: The Wonder of Couples: Marrieds know best.
Myth #3: The Dark Aura of Singlehood: You are miserable and lonely and your life is tragic.
Myth #5: Attention, Single Women: Your work won’t love you back and your eggs will dry up. Also, you don’t get any and you’re promiscuous.
Myth #6: Attention, Single Men: You are horny, slovenly, and irresponsible, and you are the scary criminals. Or you are sexy, fastidious, frivolous, and gay.
Myth #7: Attention, Single Parents: Your kids are doomed.
Myth #9: Poor Soul: You will grow old alone and you will die in a room by yourself where no one will find you for weeks.
Myth #10: Family Values: Let’s give all of the perks, benefits, gifts, and cash to couples and call it family values.
“With elegant analysis, wonderfully detailed examples, and clear and witty prose, DePaulo lays out the many, often subtle denigrations and discriminations faced by single adults in the U.S. She addresses, too, the resilience of single women and men in the face of such singlism. A must-read for all single adults, their friends and families, as well as social scientists and policy advocates.”
---E. Kay Trimberger, author of The New Single Woman
Customer Reviews:
ALLBOOKS REVIEWS.......2007-10-13
The hook lies on the front cover of the book jacket: "How singles are stereotyped, stigmatized, and ignored, and still live Happily Ever After". In Singled Out, Dr. DePaulo debunks the American "Matrimania" myths in a logical, scientific manner that's (thankfully) peppered with plenty of anecdotal humor and written in a loose, non-academic style that makes for an easy, enjoyable read.
DePaulo starts out by showing us how prejudice against singles has played out in history and then goes on to debunk the claims of Waite & Galligher, scientifically demonstrating how their erroneous claims that married folks are happier, healthier, live longer, and even have more frequent and more enjoyable sex were founded on biases studies and statistics. She discusses the fact that society equates marriage with validation. And how about the perks and benefits of most government entitlements, such as Social Security? Or running for political office? Up for a promotion? . . . Well, your chances are certainly better if you're married. DePaulo humorously shows how TV shows, magazines, and even talk shows tout the Holy Grail of Marriage--with the wedding ceremony as the ultimate climax in life. She uses the acronym BLAME to describe society's view of singles: Bitter, Loveless, Alone, Miserable, and Envious. Whoa! Does that spark a vision of the ol' "Lonely Hearts Club" or what? Seems the gist of the media message is that single equals lonely. Singles are portrayed as immature and self-centered. Self-centered, asks DePaulo? How about the debauchery of weddings? How self-centered is that?
In her bio, Dr. DePaulo, a social psychologist who did her graduate work at Harvard, is single and Living Happily Ever After in California--certainly qualified to write Single Out. She invites you to visit her website at www.belladepaulo.com In the final analysis, I'd say this book is a "must read" if you're single and you've been made to feel bad about it by society. And even if you're not, it's a terrific, informative, and even entertaining book. I'll give you one word to prove that Dr. DePaulo is right on? . . . Oprah.
Recommended by reviewer: Jan Evan Whitford, Allbooks Reviews
A great consciousness-raiser.......2007-10-05
I just finished this book (which I had checked out from the library) and plan to purchase a copy for re-reading. Recently and very unexpectedly divorced after nearly 30 years of marriage, this book came into my life at the perfect time. I (embarrassingly) recognized myself within the pages as one of those who had unknowingly had the cultural advantages and self-satisfied attitudes of couplehood/marriage.
This book has taken me to a new level of awareness and understanding of society's subtle (and not so subtle) messages about people who are single by choice or by circumstance. Ms. DePaulo's writing is clear, insightful, and humorous. (I found her humor in turns wry, sly, and playful, not at all sarcastic or bitter.) She is right-on in her analysis of cultural views of both singlehood and coupledom.
Aided by the perspective of this book, I am no longer simply accepting life as a single, but looking forward to creating a future as rich, fulfilling, and compassionate as possible. I now view my unexpected singlehood as a blessing that allows me to direct my love and energies into new avenues, including deepening my friendships and providing community service. This book has dramatically redirected my outlook.
Somewhat disappointing.......2007-08-01
A friend sent me DePaulo's chapter headings and they are hilarious! I looked forward to reading her book as an interesting exploration of the devaluation of singlehood. The book's concept is thought provoking. The writing, however, is sarcastic (to the detriment of DePaulo's message), at times embittered, and sometimes tedious (e.g., she'll describe at length another writer's work and then pick it apart bit by bit; she could have instead made her point more clearly and persuasively if she wasn't just reacting to other material). All in all, I was disappointed.
"Don't worry, honey, your turn to divorce will come....".......2007-06-23
DePaulo's book is brilliant, but it made me so angry. Angry at how many couples (from here on, "marrieds") stereotype, stigmatize, and ignore singles, of course! I already knew that marrieds feel sorry for singles because they're "incomplete," "lonely," and "unfulfilled." But not everyone wants the same thing, not everyone wants the conventional, predictable married life. I enjoy solitute tremendously, and marriage has never been my life goal. I'd rather focus on my career, which is more fulfilling than any relationship I've had. I also enjoy traveling on the weekends whenever I want, spending my money how I want, hanging out with single friends (fortunately I still have several of them). Most marrieds don't plan a weekend to go visit a good college friend (well, maybe they will if it's a couple and not merely a single person) and spend money "selfishly" on food, entertainment, and going to take photographs of old nuclear power plants or other unique trips. Does this mean I'm not grown up? no! It means I know what I like to do, so I do it. It's that simple. I feel like I have to put so much energy into defending my contented state, while marrieds are assumed to be content (although I know that isn't always the case, especially since marriage ends in divorce half the time).
I am almost 26 so it's still "acceptable" for me to be single, but people still ask why I don't have a boyfriend. "Don't you want to get married one day?" "Are you dating anyone?" "Don't you want to have children?" "You're attractive, why aren't you with anyone?" (there must be something wrong with you!) I used to feel inferior when asked those kinds of questions, especially in college when people were frantically getting engaged, much like a Baskin Robbins gets raided on the day they sell ice cream for 31 cents per scoop. Better get some before it runs out, ya know. But gradually, I became confident in my singleness by my junior year. This book really reinforced my feelings and it was as if DePaulo was reading my mind for most of it. Especially the chapter about why anybody should CARE if we're single of not? Get a life, marrieds..perhaps you should worry about decreasing your divorce rate instead.
I also liked the part criticizing how society gives a hard time to singles who still live with their parents. I still live with mine but am not "mooching" off them. I pay rent, my car payments, my car insurance, my phone bill, my college loans, and other expenses. I am saving up for my own condo (not because it screams "Single person!" but because it's the only thing I can afford in my area). I have a good relationship with my parents and I give a lot back to the economy, much like the Japanese women. I know that I go out and have a social life more than a lot of marrieds I know. And I'm not going out just to look for a husband either, grrrrr!
I have a good male friend in his late 30s. Some people have asked me if he's ever been married. When I answer No, one of them remarked, "There must be something wrong with him." Actually, there isn't. He just doesn't believe that marriage would improve his life. It's overrated and not a "fix-all" solution. He likes being single! He's happy being single. Is that so difficult to understand? Apparently, it is.
Sure, sometimes I think it would be nice to be married, to have that one person who is supposed to be your best friend, lover, etc. But I'm not going to go around actively looking for it because it's not worth it. If it happens, it happens, but I know I wouldn't mind being single for the rest of my life. I don't need another person to make me feel complete. I'm not going to waste time obsessively searching for the right person (dating is much more of a waste than being contentedly single). Ooh, I must be bitter with this attitude! Sometimes I am, but usually I just think, why try to change my life when I love how it is right now? And marriage could also make my life much worse - you never know if it will work out or not, and you could end up devastated by infidelity, abuse, etc (also true in serious unmarried relationships, i know, but people generally have higher expectations of a fairytale perfect marriage, especially with all that commitment). I know a few married men at work who are cheating on their spouses. Obviously, not all marrieds even respect marriage. How then, can this type of person look down on singles as inferior?
I was especially disgusted with Chris Matthews' treatment of Nader. How dare he imply that because Nader did not consume as much as the marrieds (such as no house, no car), that he was less of a person, less responsible? He is really a thousand more times responsible than Newt Gingrich or Bill Clinton, who have made a mess of their marital relationships. Nader is responsible enough to never embarrass a wife (or any other woman, for that matter) on international television. HE never made a mockery of the all-important marriage as others have done. And he is environmentally responsible for not owning a car because, wow!, he doesn't need one, which makes perfect sense (although not to Matthews). Singles rarely get credit for their accomplishments. I admire him and politicians like Condi Rice all the more because of their singleness.
How are people more "grown up" just because they're married? Nineteen year olds get married and are no more grown up than 19 year old singles. In fact, I argue that 19 years old marrieds are much more stupid and insecure than singles their age.
Have to mention one more thing. Once I was invited on a weekend trip where I would be set up with some guy. But I immediately turned it down because I was buying my new car that weekend. An organizer of the trip then asked me, "Which would you rather have, a new boyfriend or a new car?"
"A new car." Of course. I needed a car, but I didn't need a boyfriend...and still don't.
Singe Edition.......2007-06-13
I had been anticipating the arrival of Bella DePaulo's book for months and read it within a day upon receiving it. Ms. Depaulo could not have said it better when she indicates that not all singles are desperately waiting to be rescued by a mate. In fact many are completely satisfied in their solo state while those who are married may not necessarily be fulfilled. Increasingly individuals are choosing to remain single and Ms. Depaulo helps shatter the stereotypical portrait that has been painted. Bookstores today are replete with kitschy chic lit tales, dating propaganda or stories that glorify mommies but Singled Out is a power piece that raises the individual to the positive and realistic rank they merit. I am thankful for the contribution Ms. Depaulo has made and applaud the sincere and courageous stance she has made in putting forth her writings.
Sherri Langburt
Customer Reviews:
More bang for the buck than "Left Behind".......2007-07-30
O'Brien's "Children of the Last Days" series shows what the apocalypse might be like through Catholic eyes. "Plague Journal" shows what an average man would go through when he sees the very land he loves slowly but surely choke off all joy and life in the name of an efficient government. The main character's actions and thoughts make you slow down and wonder what you'd do. Also, not all the characters automatically do the right thing. Each of their actions has a consequence, whether good or bad, and they have to put up with those consequences, which is more realistic. There's no flashy deux ex machina, but God works through the characters in a way that's somehow more majestic than simply suspending laws of nature to make sure the good guy wins. I highly recommend this book no matter what religion you follow. You will laugh, cry, and think.
Don't believe everything you hear.......2005-04-08
As I'm sure most reviewers have said, be sure you read Strangers and Sojourners first; PJ is the second in the series. Also, it is good to read Father Elijah too; it occurs about the same time as PJ.
I read PJ in a week. It is one of the most moving books I've read, but I was reluctant to heed its message in the beginning. In this world of half-truths and deceptions where everyone is a partially educated philosopher and politician, PJ really does show the need to not believe everything we heard or read.
Should we be constantly paranoid? Not really. But a healthy skepticism is necessary.
O'Brien's best.......2003-12-19
Michael O'Brien has a tendency to overwrite his books (one of his very few flaws as a writer). But in Plague Journal, he reined himself in (or finally got an editor who did) and the result is a book that is no less packed with plot tension, cultural criticism, and character development than his other tomes.
The middle book of a trilogy of books about the Delaney family (starting with Strangers and Sojourners and ending with Eclipse of the Sun), Plague Journal also fits within O'Brien's larger series, which he calls Children of the Last Days. The first of those is the explosive novel Father Elijah.
While Plague Journal is my personal favorite. I recommend reading it after Father Elijah and Strangers and Sojourners, since it needs the other two to provide its context in O'Brien's view of the Last Days.
And O'Brien's view is a bleak one. The government has become the tool of the antichrist, whether it knows it or not, and an honest journalist (even one who doesn't have a living faith in God) can't get an honest shake, but is hunted down.
Swift, sharp, and poigniant, O'Brien provides his readers with everything that Left Behind readers should have gotten but didn't and without all of the silly speculations. This is good literature that shapes the heart and the mind Christianly.
Plague Journal Review.......2002-02-06
The book was quite excellent. I was used to and enjoyed some of the mainstream thriller authors. I hope Michael O'Brien would continue on this excellent course. I wish more people would read this with a wide open mind.
A Diagnostic Story.......2001-10-11
I found it impossible to set Plague Journal down once I began reading it. The unease that I have felt for so many years began to take on a face as I followed this wonderfull story. I began to diagnose the illness that has plagued me, the discomfort that politically correct fascisim has thrust upon me. We in the west have been increasingly held hostage to the unreal and driven into a madness that numbs our souls. Obrien's story shows us the source of that madness and points to the antidote with a faith that shines bright in the face of the bureaucratic mundanity of evil.
I am a pretty rough guy. I have been to war and learned that you do not cry if you wish to survive. Reading this book caused me to weep once more, not for the sadness but for the message of joy, forgivness and the inevitable triumph of the light that sings through its pages
Book Description
The very best of Eleanor Roosevelt's historic newspaper column, for the first time in a single volume-a dazzling diary of her life and times. Recently named "Woman of the Century" in a survey conducted by the National Women's Hall of Fame, Eleanor Roosevelt wrote her hugely popular syndicated column "My Day" for over a quarter of that century, from 1936 to 1962. This collection brings together for the first time in a single volume the most memorable of those columns, written with singular wit, elegance, compassion, and insight-everything from her personal perspectives on the New Deal and World War II to the painstaking diplomacy required of her as chair of the United Nations Committee on Human Rights after the war to the joys of gardening at her beloved Hyde Park home. To quote Arthur Schlesinger, Jr., "What a remarkable woman she was! These sprightly and touching selections from Eleanor Roosevelt's famous column evoke an extraordinary personality."
Customer Reviews:
Historical, political, personal.......2001-09-22
My favorite way to learn about history is through the voice of a person who lived in that time. Often, however, the most readable first-person narratives leave something to be desired in breadth, since a single real person cannot be everywhere and have opinions on everything. Unless, it seems, that person is Eleanor Roosevelt. Her voice in her 'My Day' columns is authoritative, compassionate, wise, and insightful. Her opinions and philosophy on politics and diplomacy, both national and international, seem to me very pertinent to some of issues we face in our world today. Since I read this book, I have found myself hypothesizing about what she would have thought about some current happenings as I try to make sense of them. The editorial introductions to each year and each article excerpt in the book are well-written and provide the right amount of context to frame the excerpts without distracting from them.
A Great Lady.......2001-03-16
I grew up during World War II and remember seeing Eleanor Roosevelt on news reels traveling around the world. I had no idea until I read this book of what a full and interesting life she was living. She had much pain and sorrow in her life, but she carried on.
I like her down to earth writing. She has written about ordinary things and left some things unsaid which is fine. She came from a very reserved background so it's to be expected. Her childhood was during a very different time than today. That she did so much for others is evidence of that upbringing.
After reading this book, I visited Hyde Park. I went first to her house at Val-Kill before I went to the Big House and Library. I recommend a visit to everyone because I believe you get a real feel for her there. At Val-Kill it's like she has just stepped out for a moment, but will be back.
I recommend this book to everyone. Editors give background information before each selection for those who weren't alive during the time. Eleanor did not go into great detail in her columns as, of course, her readers at the time would know what she was talking about.
Book Description
In the second volume of his autobiography, Mencken recalls his early years as a reporter. On January 16, 1899, H.L. Mencken applied for a job with the Baltimore Morning Herald, much to the editor's amusement. But Mencken persisted, and came back to the offices night after night until finally, in February, the editor sent him out into a blizzard to see if anything worth printing was happening on the snow-covered streets. Soon, Mencken was assigned to the police beat, and then to city hall, where the really big crooks worked.
Mencken learned his craft so well that by 1901 he became the Herald 's Sunday editor, and by 1906 was hired as an editor of the Baltimore Sun, where he quickly attracted a national following. Sustained by a steady diet of crabs, cigars, whiskey, and beer, he haunted Baltimore's jails and courtrooms, its churches, theaters, and saloons, and chased fire wagons, interviewed cops and coroners, battled politicians and crusaders, and raced back to the newsroom to beat his deadline by a second or two.
Customer Reviews:
H.L. Mencken: The Sage of Baltimore.......2000-06-16
It's great to see that much of Mencken's work is still available to the common people. It shouldn't be isolated in Baltimore's Enoch Pratt Free Library, and/or Johns Hopkins' University.
The H.L.Mencken room at the Pratt, has been called "the cradle of 20th Century literature." Alistair Cooke, said it exists..."for the comfort of sinners and the astonishment of the virtuous."
As you can see, the author of "Newspaper Days: 1899-1906", was regarded as an iconoclast during his lifetime, and is still celebrated for fresh, refreshing views and commentary. H.L. Mencken was, above all else, a critic.
Mencken wrote his autobiography in three separate volumes cumulatively known, in the world of journalism and literature, as the "Days Books". In addition to the work under consideration here: "Newspaper Days", the other two are "Happy Days: 1880-1892", and "Heathen Days: 1890-1936." As the title suggest, this book looks at H.L. Mencken's life from 1899, when at 19 he began his half-century career in journalism - at the now defunct Baltimore Morning Herald - through his move to the local newspaper of record: The Baltimore Evening Sun. This relationship with the Sun Papers (there was also a Morning Sun) lasted until 1950, when H.L.M. retired from the board of parent A.S. Abell Company.
It was apparent, even this early in the career of "the irreverent Mr. Mencken", that his niche was writing opinion and criticism; some of it shocking to the establishment; all of it entertaining.
Don't let the early period under discussion in this book (1899-1906) lead anyone to believe that the material is dated or old fashioned. Au contraire, Mencken is indeed talking of events which occured a long time ago, but evey word is perfect for the job it is called upon to do. His diction and syntax are all-important.
After all, the reason for remembering and reading a critic of an earlier time, like Mencken, is not the issues he wrote about, but the manner in which he said what he said. It is the WAY he said it -- he was a stylist.
A great man. A great book. Enjoy!
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Newspaper Days: An Autobiography
Theodore Dreiser
Manufacturer: Black Sparrow Press
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ASIN: 1574231391 |
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Newspaper Days (Pennsylvania Edition of Theodore Dreiser)
Theodore Dreiser
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The Titan
ASIN: 0812230957 |
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A Day in the Life of a Newspaper Reporter (The Kids' Career Library)
Mary Bowman-Kruhm , and
Claudine G. Wirths
Manufacturer: PowerKids Press
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- A welcome and invaluable contribution
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Defending Zion: George Q. Cannon and the California Mormon Newspaper Wars of 1856-1857 (Kingdom in the West, V. 5)
Manufacturer: Arthur H. Clark Company
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ASIN: 0870623214 |
Customer Reviews:
A welcome and invaluable contribution.......2003-03-11
By the time he was 30 years of age, George Q. Cannon had been a printer's devil, a religious refugee, an 1847 Utah pioneer, a member of the great Mormon trek of 1849 across the southern Great Basin to California, a gold miner, a Mormon missionary to the Hawaiian Islands, and finally, the editor and publisher of the San Francisco "Western Standard". Compiled and edited by Roger Robin Ekins (Professor of English and Chair of the Honors Program at Butte College, Oroville, California), Defending Zion: George Q. Cannon And The California Mormon Newspaper Wars of 1856-1857 is the latest and fifth volume in The Arthur H. Clark Company's outstanding "Kingdom in the West: The Mormons and the American Frontier" series and which details the published journalistic defenses of Mormonism in the 19th Century by a capable and articulate defender in a time when the newspaper was the most potent and powerful means of mass communication and persuasion for social, political, and religious causes. Defending Zion is a welcome and invaluable contribution to Western American History Studies in general, and The Utah War episode which saw President James Buchanan launching a military expedition to Utah so costly that it almost bankrupted the United States federal government on the eve of the Civil War.
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The days of H.L. Mencken: Happy days, Newspaper days, Heathen days
H. L Mencken
Manufacturer: A.A. Knopf
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ASIN: B0007DVR5W |
Customer Reviews:
A must have book for all writers!!.......2004-01-07
This is a great little book filled with tips and tricks from an author who has done what he is teaching. Don Paul has successfully written and published around ten books that have continued to sell well for about twenty years. I have several of them and I picked up this one for my Dad, who is also a published author. While not the artistic guide to writing that Stephen King put out a few years back, this tells you how to get your work out there. I checked out the other reviewer to see what his deal was and come to find out he primarily reads books on drugs, which would explain his cracked opinion of this text.
Reads Like It Was Written In 53 Minutes.......2003-07-03
Typos, ideas that a high school kid would call dumb, marketing ploys, no appreciation for art or craft--- this book has it all!
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