Book Description
In April 1975, as Saigon fell to the North Vietnamese Army, John Bissell, a former Marine officer living in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, was glued to his television. Struggling to save his marriage, raise his sons, and live with his memories of the war in Vietnam, Bissell found himself racked with anguish and horror as his country abandoned a cause for which so many of his friends had died.
Opening with a gripping account of the chaotic and brutal last month of the war, The Father of All Things is Tom Bissell’s powerful reckoning with the Vietnam War and its impact on his father, his country, and Vietnam itself. Through him we learn what it was like to grow up with a gruff but oddly tender veteran father who would wake his children in the middle of the night when the memories got too painful. Bissell also explores the many debates about the war, from whether it was winnable to Ho Chi Minh’s motivations to why America’s leaders lied so often. Above all, he shows how the war has continued to influence American views on foreign policy more than thirty years later.
At the heart of this book is John and Tom Bissell’s unforgettable journey back to Vietnam. As they travel the country and talk to Vietnamese veterans, we relive the war as John Bissell experienced it, visit the site of his near-fatal wounding, and hear him explain how Vietnam shaped him and so many of his generation.
This is the first major book about the war by an author who grew up after the fall of Saigon. It is a fascinating, all-too-relevant work about the American character–and about war itself. It is also a wise and moving book about fathers, sons, and the universal desire to understand who our parents were before they became our parents.
Customer Reviews:
"Would you stop the car? I'd like your help beating my son." .......2007-09-22
This is a searing, honest, and yes, fair account of a young man's reconciliation with his father, against the backdrop of a return to Vietnam.
The dialog Tom records is almost too good to be true, but it's coming out of his tape recorder, so there it is. The elder Bissell comes across as an ordinary, memory-laden senior citizen who happens to once have been a soldier. His drunken implosion, which the author unspools against the fall of Saigon, is a topnotch piece of psychological fiction, but is nothing that the reader catches first-hand from the rest of the book. At times it seems that Tom projects the gook-plinking hophead of media stereotype into his father, but none of that comes out in the dialog. Indeed, at certain points it's the father who has to point out to the son what a bloody horror the war was.
Had Tom been around during the war, he doubtless would have been a protestor. But at this late date, the historical record is in the books. He stitches together quite good second-hand accounts of the fall of South Vietnam, and of the strange career of Ho Chih Minh (though the latter is perhaps somewhat over-basted with "nuance."). An honest fellow, he frequently admits that the North Vietnamese and the NLF were as bad as advertised, and worse than the more conventionally corrupt South. He still refuses to swallow the old wartime lies, though he proposes no way that things could have come out right.
The end of the return tour, with his father raising a toast with a former ARVN his own age, ends the book on a touching and unexpected up note. Mission accomplished.
A fair-use sample:
"A lot of guys I went to basic with died in this place [the Citadel in Hue city]," my father said. "A lot of guys. Guys who joined up again. Guys who kept volunteering. All died right around here." He shook his head.
"Like who?" I asked.
"You don't know them."
"Well, what were their names?"
He looked at me queerly. "What do you care?" This was said with a brusque sort of inquisitiveness, not anger.
I got to my feet. "I'm sorry. You're right. Just morbid curiosity."
My father--the abrupt smile on his face false to anyone who knew him--turned to Hien [the guide]. "What do *you* think?"
Hien regarded his shoes, which looked like small leather noses peeking out from beneath his blue slacks. "I think this is a special place for many people."
My father said nothing and stood there in the wind, amid the grass. When he closed his eyes, it almost looked as though he were listening to someone.
No new insights into fathers and son,vets, or the war.......2007-08-18
As I am unschooled in the detailed history of the Vietnam war, I focus my comments on the other material I expected based on professional reviews of the book.
Specifically, I expected some attempted growth in the father and son's relationship. Nothing huge, which would be unrealistic, but an attempt or a tiny movement. I also expected insight into the effect of a war that divides generations, dominating both the elder who lived it and the younger who were not directly touched by the war but by their wartime fathers.
The book delivered weakly on both counts. Unless, that is, the author's message is that both generations are so traumatized, albeit differently, that neither can soften their assumptions and defenses long enough to begin to understand the other. Instead, they play out their deep attitudinal and behavioral patterns passively and actively. When they do gain a little insight into the other they become angry. Oddly, father and son both seem slightly grateful to have taken their frozen relationship on a road trip to Vietnam. Finally, to find a point about the effect of war on an entire culture, you'd have to use the family as a metaphor for the U.S.
If these were the author's points, he could have expressed them far more effectively, and also more interestingly by exploring and elaborating them. For instance, why is it so difficult for the son to ask questions of his father that could possibly increased understanding? The problem isn't only that the dad's reticent and challenged to explain an inexplicable experience. No, the son also doesn't hear or effectively work with what his dad *does* tell him. Why is this? And, how interesting that it might be harder for those who weren't in the war to embrace the experience of those who were, instead of vice versa?
Another fruitful but unexplored vein was their mutual expectations and assessment of the trip. Why had they each gone, what had they hoped to get out of it, what happened internally for each of them?
Yet another lost opportunity occurred in the majority of the book which was was a discussion of the war organized according to major questions in the son's perspective. These topics, such as "Why were the South Vietnamese Corrupt" and "Could the U.S. Have Won the War", seem to accurately reflect the perspective of those born mid-1970s as the author was. Fair enough. But, how much more interesting it would have been to to compare, contrast, and connect the son's major questions about the war with his father's!
There are plenty of places where a hungry reader might think the author's about to do something interesting like this, but he never really does. If you've followed the war coverage in major newspapers or magazines during the last several years, you're not going to gain much additional insight here. Unless, of course, the historical interpretation is accurate, which I'm not in a position to judge, but other reviewers have cast doubt on.
A son on his father's Vietnam service.......2007-05-30
It has been a generation since the last American soldier left Vietnam, after almost 15 years of substantial involvement in the fight to defeat the army of North Vietnam and insurgent forces. Some 3 million Americans served, 800,000 of them in combat. The names of more than 58,000 of this country's dead are etched into the stark, granite walls of Washington's Vietnam War Memorial.
In his compelling new book, THE FATHER OF ALL THINGS, journalist Tom Bissell, born in 1974, brings that painful era to life in a rich and emotionally resonant narrative constructed around the trip he took to Vietnam in November 2003 with his father. John Bissell, a Marine combat veteran, arrived in Vietnam in April 1965 and served there until he was wounded in a booby trap explosion in late 1966. Acknowledging the humility that any writer must feel approaching a subject that has been covered in more than 30,000 books, Bissell sets for himself the task of recounting "an emotional experience interwoven with established historical facts of the Vietnam War." It is, he writes, "a book about war's endless legacy."
The book is loosely and somewhat idiosyncratically organized into three sections. The first interweaves an account of the last, desperate days before the fall of Saigon with Bissell's imaginative recreation of his father's dismay as he watches those events unfold in his home in Escanaba, in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. The second, and longest, section poses a handful of queries, such as "Could the United States have won the war in Vietnam?" and "What was the Soviet Union actually attempting to accomplish in Vietnam?" using them as the framework upon which the book's main narrative structure is constructed. The final section, entitled "The Children of the War Speak," contains brief snippets of interviews with Bissell's anonymous contemporaries on all sides of the conflict, reflecting on the ways in which the war's legacy affected them and their families.
Bissell is a gifted writer, whose prose is enriched by a talent for selecting arresting details that will fix the scenes he describes in the mind's eye. In one gripping section near the end of the book he describes the visit he and his father made to Cu Chi, an area that featured an elaborate network of tunnels from which guerrillas launched fiendishly ingenious attacks against American soldiers based there. Another emotionally powerful portion is Bissell's terse recounting of the My Lai massacre in March 1968, which most readers will find chilling in its harrowing detail.
Foregoing any attempt either to glamorize his father's service or to demonize the vast majority of the soldiers who fought there on all sides, Bissell nevertheless portrays his father as a fundamentally decent man, reporting that John Bissell's fellow Marines even nicknamed him "Nice Guy." Like most American soldiers, he was compelled to fight by a sense of duty to his comrades rather than to some at best vaguely understood mission to stop the spread of Communism throughout Southeast Asia. If anything, Bissell is much more judgmental about himself than he is of his father, subtly questioning whether he would have had the courage to do what his father did. One darkly comic scene describing Bissell's attempt to fire an AK-47 at a shooting gallery is likely to have readers wondering the same thing.
The book could have benefited from a map tracing the route of the Bissells' journey, as well as some photographs in addition to the few family snapshots sprinkled throughout the first section. These shortcomings are counterbalanced by a useful bibliography featuring annotations by Bissell on some of the secondary sources he relied upon in this work.
At a time when the United States is embroiled in another unpopular war, the temptation to draw facile parallels with the debacle in Vietnam is almost too great to resist. For the most part, Bissell doesn't succumb to that temptation, perhaps because most thoughtful readers already will find themselves struggling to suppress the echoes of incompetence and bravado from that era that haunt us to this day.
THE FATHER OF ALL THINGS is an intensely personal book that expands outward in concentric circles from the intimate relationship between father and son to the broadest concerns of historical and geopolitical thought. "War is appetitive," Bissell writes. "It devours goodwill, landscape, cultures, mothers, and fathers --- before finally forcing us, the orphans, to pick up the pieces." If this book finds the audience it deserves, it will remind those who lived through that era of the price war exacts, and may help educate those who did not to that grim and timeless reality.
--- Reviewed by Harvey Freedenberg
A writer of great talent - Tom Bissell.......2007-05-07
I've read everything I can find by Tom Bissell. His writing is mesmerizing: a medley of travel log, memoir, novel, and psychological study. I think he is inordinately talented.
With this memoir, his depiction of growing up in Escanaba, Michigan, resonated deeply with me, since I grew up there too and knew his family before he was born. I think he described it well, though his was a dark impression. His honest searching and critical mind were very moving to me.
My heart went out to his father, though a young man, saddled with supporting a wife and child, two siblings, his mother and mother-in-law in his early twenties. The Bissells were peceived as very wealthy and above the ordinary worries of most of our families. They were like the Magnificent Ambersons, and we didn't know the half of it.
I also admired his retrospective on the Vietnam War. It was very well researched and presented with lucidness and poignance. I'm not much of a history reader, but the author had my full attention and understanding.
Some day this writer is going to win lots of prizes. Thanks, Tom Bissell, for a wonderful book.
A Subject Greater Than the War Itself.......2007-05-05
"The Father of All Things" is the latest brilliant offering from one of America's great young writers.
Whereas Bissell's first book, "Chasing the Sea," alternated between his (sometimes humorous, sometimes painful) return to Uzbekistan after a failed stint in the Peace Corps and a deft history of Central Asia and the ability of its peoples to repel or outlast any and all outside powers' tries at conquest, "The Father of All Things" plumbs the depths of one family's experience in the Vietnam War, and the reverberation that war has had on the children of veterans on both sides.
To his credit, Bissell shares more of himself in the memoir sections of the book than he does in "Chasing the Sea." His relationship with his father is one of soft reconciliation after years of -- if not literal, then certainly emotional -- separation. There are courageous and heart-baring passages that would've been clumsy in the hands of a less-talented author, and you can see the warmth that Marine Captain John Bissell has for his son, even when he's teasing him about being a Communist when they go to Vietnam together, almost 40 years after John's last visit, when he was one of the first combat troops on the ground.
Yes, why another book about Vietnam? As Bissell himself states in his brief author's note: "More than thirty thousand books on Vietnam are currently in print. Why another? one might (and probably did) ask. . . . This is not really a book about the nation of Vietnam, or even the Vietnam War. It is, instead, a book about war's endless legacy. . . . When war begins, leaders inevitably frown as they promise courage and bravery, guarantee tragic sacrifice, yet vow, all the same, to see it through. What any war's igniters rarely admit are the small, terrible truths that have held firm for every war ever fought, no matter how necessary or avoidable: 'This will be horrible, and whatever happens will scar us for decades to come.' Indeed, even necessary wars can destroy the trust of a people in their leaders, just as war destroys human beings on both sides of the rifle."
To ask questions of one's government is not treason -- it is one of the highest form of citizenship. And if one's government cannot supply satisfactory answers to its citizens, it is their duty to endlessly question that government. To say this book -- or the author himself -- is anti-American couldn't be further from the truth, and proof is in the pages. Bissell has reported from both Afghanistan and Iraq, and there's a particularly harrowing passage in the book where, trapped in Mazar-i-Sharif in the early days of the 2002 American invasion, he uses a fellow journalist's satellite phone to call his father. He gets cut off in the middle of the conversation and his father, believing his youngest son has been kidnapped by the Taliban, is suddenly thrown back into his own war.
Not only does Bissell do a superb job of honoring his father and the generation of young men who fought and died in Vietnam, he also, with "The Father of All Things," salutes the 20- and 30-somethings of contemporary America, the brothers and sisters of Bicentennial Babies, who are currently fighting and dying in Afghanistan and Iraq because, as it did with their fathers in Vietnam, their country called them to their duty.
Bissell well understands the sacrifices a military man makes, as he lived with them in the form of his father. Yes, this book is about war, and specifically about the Vietnam War and its shadow, but to read it so narrowly misses the point: This is a book about a son trying to understand his father because he loves him.
Average customer rating:
- This book always stand out in my mind...
- Crazy Story
- Entertaining, Yes...Informative, No....
- If you like stereotypes...
- A Jewish Mother
|
The Color of Water: A Black Man's Tribute to His White Mother
James McBride
Manufacturer: Riverhead Trade
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
 African-American & Black
| Ethnic & National
| Biographies & Memoirs
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Ethnic & National
| Biographies & Memoirs
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Biographies & Memoirs
| Subjects
| Books
Memoirs
| Biographies & Memoirs
| Subjects
| Books
Discrimination & Racism
| Social Sciences
| Nonfiction
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Sociology
| Social Sciences
| Nonfiction
| Subjects
| Books
African-American Studies
| Special Groups
| Social Sciences
| Nonfiction
| Subjects
| Books
Look Inside History Books
| Trip
| Specialty Stores
| Books
Look Inside Nonfiction Books
| Trip
| Specialty Stores
| Books
Similar Items:
-
The Memory Keeper's Daughter
-
The Things They Carried
-
The Glass Castle: A Memoir
-
The Secret Life of Bees
-
The House on Mango Street
ASIN: 1573225789 |
Amazon.com
Order this book ... and please don't be put off by its pallid subtitle, A Black Man's Tribute to His White Mother, which doesn't begin to do justice to the utterly unique and moving story contained within. The Color of Water tells the remarkable story of Ruth McBride Jordan, the two good men she married, and the 12 good children she raised. Jordan, born Rachel Shilsky, a Polish Jew, immigrated to America soon after birth; as an adult she moved to New York City, leaving her family and faith behind in Virginia. Jordan met and married a black man, making her isolation even more profound. The book is a success story, a testament to one woman's true heart, solid values, and indomitable will. Ruth Jordan battled not only racism but also poverty to raise her children and, despite being sorely tested, never wavered. In telling her story--along with her son's--The Color of Water addresses racial identity with compassion, insight, and realism. It is, in a word, inspiring, and you will finish it with unalloyed admiration for a flawed but remarkable individual. And, perhaps, a little more faith in us all.
Book Description
This is a book that will "make you proud to be a member of the human race," says Mirabella, and countless readers have already discovered its power. Written in remembrance of his Polish-born, Southern-raised Jewish mother-who married a black man and raised twelve children, all of whom completed college-The Color of Water is a classic of the memoir genre, a testament to love, and a truly American story.
Customer Reviews:
This book always stand out in my mind..........2007-10-21
I actually read this book when it first came out, I believe that was about 10 years ago, which does seem correct as I believe I was about 14-15 when I read this book. Although it was a long time ago I don't remember all the finer points of this book but for some reason this book has always stood out in my memory. I really fell in love with book, I rememeber not wanting to put it down but at the same time dreading turning each page as it was getting closer to the end. I say give it a try, I don't think you will be disappointed. I hope it leaves as big an impression on you as it did with me. I might even read it again soon!
Crazy Story.......2007-10-21
I did not enjoy this book as much as some others have. I found the "mother" insufferably stupid and cruel. It is amazing that any of these children turned out well. The author has a writing style that's easy to read, and it's great that he can look back on his life as he does, but, as an outsider, I found myself wanting to wring this woman's neck every few pages! I just could not find any redeeming values for her. And, why have sooooooo many kids that you cannot afford to raise?? Still, an interesting read.
Entertaining, Yes...Informative, No...........2007-10-15
The Color of Water chronicles the childhood of James McBride, an inter-racial kid born of a Jewish mother and a Black father. The book describes James' mom's philosophy of raising her kids as "colorless," with undeniably good principles such as education, respect, and family unity. James is one of the youngest of many kids, and thus is relegated to menial chores and destined to ignorance in his early years, because his mother refuses to answer any of his questions.
At first, the book is actually quite interesting as you learn of the fiber of the Jordan/McBride family. The older kids are generally more rebellious and usually argue with each other about race and politics. The younger kids look up at the older kids but they reserve their ultimate respect and admiration for mommy. As the book progresses, however, the story gets extremely redundant and stereo-typical as other reviewers have mentioned. Apparently, mommy failed to instill the notion that skin color doesn't matter to their kids as they each begin to turn to racial groups and rebel against the "white man."
This book can be a page turner if you focus on only reading the book for the sake of it's story. If you attempt to read this book to gain knowledge on how to raise your kids or any other ultimate motive, I am sad to report that you will likely be dissapointed, as was I.
If you like stereotypes..........2007-09-27
If you like reinforcing stereotypes, then James McBride's book is for you. Jews have big noses, they only care about money, and of course, his converted mother only finds love through Jesus. But let's move past that. A great mother? Perhaps her children would not have had to eat sugar as a meal or wake up at 3 am (when she came home from work with free food from her employer) to eat-- else they went hungry if she had the number of children that she and her could support. Perhaps living in a house where the dog's feces is kicked under the radiator is not an indication of a strong mother. How about when she pays one fare for the subway and puts herself and the twelve children through on that one fare. These are not virtues. The writing was weak; the message was weaker.
A Jewish Mother.......2007-09-24
Legal History of the Color Line: The Rise And Triumph of the One-drop Rule
A better title for this book would be: A Dark Mulatto's Tribute to His Jewish Mother. The word "black" denies the European Jewish ancestry of the author and his siblings and the word "white" denies his mother's ethnic heritage. Mrs. McBride's Jewish ethnic values were far more important to her children's success than being "white."
Book Description
In the best-selling tradition of The Color of Water comes a beautifully written, evocative memoir of a relationship between a mother and son—and the Chinese-American experience
In The Eighth Promise, author William Poy Lee gives us a rare view of the Asian-American experience from a mother-son perspective. His moving and complex story of growing up in the housing projects of San Francisco’s Chinatown in the 1960s and ’70s unfolds in two voices—the author’s own and that of his mother—to provide a sense of tradition and culture. It is a stunning tale of murder, injustice, fortitude, and survival. Already, this exquisitely wrought memoir is garnering rave notices.
Customer Reviews:
An Amazing Story of Culture, History, and Grace.......2007-09-10
I was drawn to The Eighth Promise, as I automatically veer towards any books related to China. Then I realized that this wasn't just about China, but about America as well. The author grew up in San Franscisco's Chinatown during quite volatile times--the Vietnam war, Civil Rights protests, Chinatown wars. I was fascinated by this history which he so vividly brought to life. Then, a terrible thing happened to his family, a terribly unjust, unfair thing that you would hope doesn't happen in America. I was moved to tears by the grace with which they dealt with this horrible injustice.
The Eighth Promise is an insightful book about Chinese Culture, American history during the 60's, 70's, and most importantly, grace in the face of injustice.
The Real Chinatown.......2007-08-29
What a great book. I just finished reading it. There were so many layers to his story that I found so interesting: the American immigrant story of being uprooted into a strange land and customs, the attention to detail about Toisan food , the history of Chinese immigration to America and the racism they faced, and the racism faced by Asian Americans in contemporary America, the unveiling of the facade of Chinatown as a tourist postcard , the author's coming of age during the chaotic turmoil of the 60's and 70's, his relationship with his brother , and of course hearing his mother's story and the "Eighth Promise".
It's just a great story overall and he ties everything together well.
On a personal note, being a Korean American man , it's wonderful seeing more Asian American male voices that are being heard in literature today.
Resonating with another Chinatown Boy.......2007-08-18
William Poy Lee wrote a book that deeply moved me. My parents are Toisanese. My mother's roots are from Hoisin, the city that William visited on his explorations of family roots. My father's roots are deep in the Chung-lau village nearby. My father told me stories of tending the water buffalo, getting firewood, laying down manure, etc. A lot of tough farm chores. He left home at 14 and became a paper-son to come to New York in 1952. He was detained on Ellis Island for six months before entering the world of Chinatown, Seward Park High School, waiting tables, serving as a printer's apprentice, and other odd jobs, in the lower east side.
I grew up in Hong Kong and New York City's Chinatown. Because my mother was educated in Hong Kong, I was raised speaking Cantonese but I understand fully Toisanese as she spoke both. My mother's world for many years revolved around the garment factories -- the sweat shops. William Lee's stories of Chinatown San Francisco spoke to me. They are so much like how I saw things growing up in New York City, with its own variations. William's stories of Wah Ching youths, the associations, and political changes recalled for me events and people of New York's Chinatown. My friends and I lived through the times of some of the worst effects of these changes as well. But like others of that time, we also found much simple pleasures, even if we did not know it then, of playing basketball underneath the rising span of the Manhattan bridge, or just hanging out at the park on Forythe Street, or in the heart of Chinatown --Columbus Park.
Poy Jen's stories, her voice, her accents and how she phrased things, and of course her soups, are just remarkable as they are so vivid to me as I recall my own grandmother when she was alive, and as I talk to my grandfather now, who is 94. My father still speaks Toisanese and his mix of Cantonese to me. My mother and father continue to make those soups today, especially the precious ginseng soups when my wife and I visit.
The twin threads of the book intertwined beautifully -- the voices true, laced with everyday life's humor, and charged with the strong emotions of times of tragedy. The resolution of the stories is deeply personal and, at the same time, universally human. I look forward to seeing more stories from this fine writer.
Terrific Book.......2007-07-26
The book really sheds light into the Chinese American experience. As someone new in this journey, I valued the insight William Poy Lee shares from his mother's experience and his own experience. Highly Recommended!
A moving portrait of growing up between two worlds.......2007-06-27
Born in San Francisco in 1951 to Toisanese (Southern Chinese) immigrant parents, Lee visited his mother's ancestral village in 1983 and had an epiphany, which sparked "a slow reintegration of self. Until that day, I had always felt as if I had been dropped out of the sky....focused exclusively on an American future that was unconnected to my parents' past."
In Toisan he marvels at his relatives' "free and easy body language, as natural as that of any free people and so unlike the reserved, contracted bodies of many Chinese Americans."
San Francisco's Chinatown evolved out of generations of despised and abused Chinese immigrants. Lee comes to understand this and the role the closed Chinatown community played in the trials of his own family.
But another dozen years pass before Lee takes to heart his mother, Poy Jen's, lessons. On leaving China to marry a naturalized American-Toisanese Poy Jen made her mother eight promises, mostly to do with maintaining tradition and finding husbands for her sisters.
But the eighth promise - to live life "in complete compassion" strikes Lee "as the distillation of all the wisdom of my kin," simple people at the mercy of nature and each other, who maintained harmony through this philosophy. Looking back he sees how his mother painstakingly fulfilled each promise, especially the eighth. As his respect for her quiet perseverance grows, he decides to tell her story in tandem with his own.
The memoir takes shape in alternate chapters. Poy Jen describes the arranging of her marriage as her Nationalist family prepared to flee the communists, the traditions of Clan Sisterhood (which held even in San Francisco), the shock of her solitary life in America, her struggles to learn English (which she never did), become a citizen and bring her sisters over, marital tensions, bringing children up in a strange land and much more. Her tone grows bolder and more intense as the narrative proceeds, as if the hours of talking finally break through her self-effacing habits.
Lee's chapters reflect and contrast with his mother's. In the beginning he expands on the traditions she describes, and explains the politics of American immigration rules and their practical effects on real people.
Poor and insular, Lee doesn't speak a word of English until he goes to school, where he and his brothers embrace Americanization, even forming a Boy Scout troop (they could not afford to join a real one) in their tenement. They resist Chinese school, which Poy Jen insists on, flirt with gangs, discover politics and civil rights.
The memoir gathers strength as it goes, offering a personal history of Chinese immigrant life since the 1950s with all its personal, financial and cultural family tensions, generational differences, tragedy and violence.
Moving and thoughtful, leavened gently with humor, Lee provides a window onto the mystery of Chinatown.
Average customer rating:
- A very moving memoir
- It reads almost like a novel, a strange account of a search for his father
- good overall
- His Life Without Him.
- I couldn't put it down!
|
The Boy He Left Behind: A Man's Search for His Lost Father
Mark Matousek
Manufacturer: Riverhead Hardcover
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
Authors
| Arts & Literature
| Biographies & Memoirs
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Biographies & Memoirs
| Subjects
| Books
Memoirs
| Biographies & Memoirs
| Subjects
| Books
Men
| Gender Studies
| Social Sciences
| Nonfiction
| Subjects
| Books
Marriage & Family
| Sociology
| Social Sciences
| Nonfiction
| Subjects
| Books
Culture
| Sociology
| Social Sciences
| Nonfiction
| Subjects
| Books
Similar Items:
-
Sex Death Enlightenment: A True Story
ASIN: 1573221546
Release Date: 2000-03-20 |
Amazon.com
"I was conceived on a bathroom floor by a woman trying to forget herself and a man who materialized out of nowhere," Mark Matousek tells us. His father soon dematerialized, turning up for the last time in 1961 to make an unsuccessful attempt to kidnap 4-year-old Mark. Thirty-five years later, now HIV-positive, Matousek decides to hire a detective to look for the man he never knew. His compassionate, startlingly funny memoir mingles the tale of that quest with recollections of his troubled youth, a reconstruction of his parents' early lives and his mother's 14-year affair with a married man, tender portraits of his three sisters, and a loving depiction of his new boyfriend, Louis, whose support helps Matousek grapple with his past. Hilarious character sketches of everyone from the oddball private eye to a slick Manhattan magazine editor lighten the dark shadows cast by many of Matousek's memories, including one sister's suicide and his mother's admission that "I should never have had you kids." In Matousek's complex rendering of the world, there are no easy epiphanies or shortcuts to wisdom--which will come as no surprise to readers of his previous book, Sex Death Enlightenment. But there are sturdy friendships, hard-won courage, and the hope of lasting love. --Wendy Smith
Book Description
In this extraordinary real-life detective story, the author takes us on a search for his father. The result of the search brings about the revelation of family secrets and a change his life.
Customer Reviews:
A very moving memoir.......2007-08-29
The cover drew me to this book--and the author has a comfortable writing style..even when what he writes about isn't that comfortable of a topic.
It reads almost like a novel, a strange account of a search for his father.......2006-01-10
At first I thought this must be a novel, the book opens with the account of when the author was about 4 years old. Sitting with his half sister's watching tv when his father comes back to kidnap him. He tries to kick in the door and grabs Mark, however on the way back to the car the mother runs out and wrestles with the father, at one point they are both tugging at him and all Mark wants to do is go with his father. But Mark does not remember it now, it is only what he is told by his sisters.
It certainly sets the tone of the book. Mark struggles all his life to find his identity and understand it. His father left for the last time that night and was never seen again. Mark hires a Private detective to find him and this book follows the search and also Mark's attempt to understand what was going on with his family. One of his half-sisters committed suicide and all had problems with their relationships. It seems it is also possible his half-sisters were molested by his father. Nothing however is ever really found out.
You could almost compare this to Dave Pelzer's books in his series (Child called it etc). There never seems to be an end of Mark's search, just as Pelzer is constantly trying to find out why his mother treated him the way she did, constantly seeks approval from her. Mark constantly struggles with why the family is as they are, and why his father left him, but it is more than that, he also wants to know that he, himself, is a good person.
good overall.......2005-09-13
i enjoyed this book, but found it a bit scattered at times. there are many threads woven throughout which i enjoyed, i just wish they were woven more concisely. life of course is not woven this concisely, nor do friends always tell things in such concise ways, but as a follow up to sex, death, enlightenment i was somewhat disappointed, although ultimately glad i read the book. i wish mark had sorted out his themes a bit better prior to the writing of each book, and woven them a bit more cleanly.
i certainly would recommend it, and give it four stars out of five. sex, death, enlightenment i would give 5 out of 5. the content of that also i think went a bit deeper in areas, and i think he could have gone deeper internally in this book as well, or at least shared it. he was certainly vulnerable, i just think he could have gone a bit deeper.
i loved his discussion of his relationship with louis. i found his relationship with his family challenging emotionally and at times would wait a day or two between sections just to absorb the process. ultimately i think it has greatly added to my own spiritual journey and appreciation of my family, appreciation of him as a human being, and appreciation for what so many gay men go through as well as what so many parentless children go through.
His Life Without Him........2005-03-26
I read this book several years ago, and I was moved to tears by the ending. It's so sad to see Mark Matousek spent most of his life searching for his father who had abandoned him when he was 4 years old, and not finding him, but to have to give up his hope on him. I can relate to the dysfunctional family and abandonment issues, so this book really spoke to me and help me deal with these issues. In this deeply moving book, Matousek wrote about his friends, lovers, and his abusive mother while pursuing his career and hope to locate his father.
I couldn't put it down!.......2001-12-04
I came upon this book in the library with no prior knowledge of the book or the author. From page one I was captivated by Mark's life story and finished the book in 2 days. I'm surprised that it never received more recognition, as it has become one of my all-time favorites. It covers so many topics...religion, homosexuality, family relationships, love and loss...that anyone can relate to and identify with. Written with honesty and humor, I highly recommend this book to everyone!
Product Description
When the infant Conrad Netting received his late father's Air Medal in a military ceremony in February 1945, it seemed to close the book on yet another tragedy of World War II. But what appeared to be closure was only a pause. Katherine Netting became part of the silent generation, speaking little of the deep anguish left by her husband's death when his fighter plane crashed in Normandy four days after D-Day. Married the year before, Lt. Conrad John Netting III had so hoped the baby due in a month would be a boy that he had Conjon IV painted near the nose of his P-51. After Katherine Netting died in 1993, a footlocker turned up, carefully packed with wartime records and mementos that provided her son with almost as many questions as answers. He had pieced much of the story together by the time a large envelope arrived from France. The sender hoped that Conrad might be related to a Lieutenant Netting who was credited with saving the writer's village. A memorial was planned, but villagers knew little of the pilot. An exchange of phone calls and e-mails quickly followed. The letter writer's father was the son of the village carpenter, who had pulled the pilot's body from the plane and built his coffin against the strict orders of the German Army. The parish priest conducted a secret funeral. There was more. Assured a French newspaper covering the subsequent dedication of a monument: "This is not a fable, but a true story." This book is a compelling real-life reminder that the human story is not over when a war ends.
Customer Reviews:
Delayed Legacy.......2007-03-15
Typical story of a son whose father died before his birth; his discovery of his parents'letters during the war and his quest to fill in the blanks. Most interesting is the irony of the search from the other side of the ocean!
An emotional read.......2006-08-11
Several themes are intertwined to recount this true story. The setting begins when the Depression Era United States was being thrust into some of its most tested years. The author then focuses the reader's attention onto a young couple (through their letters) as their lives and innocence are caught in the extremes of World War 2 America. Across the globe, a family in a small French village is simultaneously being occupied by German soldiers. Their lives collide in a heroic culmination of triumph and tragedy.
Far from ending the story, a yet unborn son (the author) will years later begin a quest to unlock the happenings of those earlier times. Through a combination of discovered letters and unbelievable meetings and occurrences, a lost history begins to unfold for the descendants of all who were involved with those fateful events.
This story is charged with emotion. The author's journey into his family's past allows us as readers to also travel to a very different era of America's history. The world has good and evil just as it did then. Good does ultimately triumph over evil, but the cost is always high. The book is excellent. It serves as a sober reminder of sacrifice and as an uplifting view of freedom's victory.
Wonderful Story.......2006-05-28
Unlike the previous reviewer, I did not find the love letter portion of the book the most compelling. For me, it was the story of the wartime events and its amazing discovery approximately 58 years later. So, I guess there is more than one reason to read this book! The description of the author's reaction to the package from France even gave me goose-bumps. That must have been an incredible moment.
Don't Delay - Read "Delayed Legacy".......2005-11-08
Confession: the author, Conrad Netting IV, is a personal friend of mine. But even he would want me to set the record straight about his labor of love for the past 11 years - compiling his Delayed Legacy.
Having said that, Conrad has reached into his heart and written a magnificent story about a parental relationship he never witnessed and about a father he never knew. His research about ancillary events surrounding their story brings into sharp focus a time when the country and many young couples were in grave danger for their very existence.
But most enjoyable has been his presentation of love letters between two 1940s era love birds who barely knew each other before they were separated by war and finally death. His poignant retelling of the discovery of the myriad of details surrounding his parents courtship and marriage through newly discovered documents (all unavailable to him during his mother's life) makes the book a captivating page-turner - even when the author is not your good friend.
Buy it, read it and recommend it to others. After all many of us have experienced in our own way our own delayed legacy after our parents' deaths.
Jim Berg
San Antonio, Texas
Average customer rating:
|
Lessons from Jacob: A Disabled Son Teaches His Mother about Courage, Hope and the Joy of Living Each Day to the Fullest
Ellen Schwartz
Manufacturer: Key Porter Books
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
General
| Biographies & Memoirs
| Subjects
| Books
Special Needs
| Specific Groups
| Biographies & Memoirs
| Subjects
| Books
Memoirs
| Biographies & Memoirs
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Special Needs
| Parenting & Families
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Parenting & Families
| Subjects
| Books
Special Needs Children
| Children's Health
| Personal Health
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
Look Inside Parenting Books
| Trip
| Specialty Stores
| Books
ASIN: 1552638502 |
Book Description
Like any anxious parent awaiting the birth of their first child, Ellen Schwartz and her husband Jeff were overwhelmed with optimistic dreams and hopes about the future. Their futureas a family. Jacob was perfect. Until at about six months they noticed that Jacob seemed oddly withdrawn and unresponsive. Not to worry they were told. Give it some time. With time, however, Jacob seemed only to get worse. After a battery of tests doctors confirmed their worst nightmare: their perfect baby boy had Canavan disease. He would never see. He would never walk. Or talk, or sit up on his own or feed himself. He would never go to school or say mommy or daddy. Jacob would never be able to do anything for himself. He is utterly helpless. And yet, as Ellen Schwartz recounts in this alternately heartbreaking and exhilarating portrait by a mother of her severely disabled son, Jacob taughtand continues to teachher and everyone around him what it means to live each day to the fullest. Brave and candidincluding the highs and lows, the buoyant hopes and shattering disappointments, the sorrows and joysLessons from Jacob is finallyan unforgettably portrait of a courageous boy who sees past his own disability to embrace the simple and everyday beauty that if life. [a] wonderful, moving book The Jewish Tribune Schwartz recounts the alternately heartbreaking and exhilarating story of her severely disabled son. [She] tells her sons story with bravery and honesty, including the highs and lows, the hopes and disappointments. North York Mirror
Book Description
Published to strong reviews and major media attention, this heartfelt and inspirational rags–to–riches memoir by the highly regarded CEO of Parade Publications tells the emotional story of how he came to terms with an identity and a family that he never knew he had until he reached middle age.
Meant To Be begins when Anderson, a 21–year–old Marine returns from service to say goodbye to his dying father and tries to find the answer to a question that has inexplicably haunted him from his earliest years: Was the alcoholic, abusive man who has so tormented him in his childhood his real father? Shockingly, the answer turns out to be "No." Unbeknown to him, at least until that point, his mother, a German Protestant, fell in love during World War II with a Russian Jew and bore his child. Anderson learns this information as a young man but he and his mother keep this secret for another 35 years, until the day Anderson – now an unusually successful publishing executive – meets an unknown brother who, it turns out, has lived a nearly parallel life. Meant To Be is a love story, a journey of self–discovery and spirituality, and a provocative challenge to common notions about the role of heredity in our lives.
Customer Reviews:
Lacking .......2007-03-09
I thought this sounded like a great book. It had all the makings for a great book but it just didn't get there for me. I enjoyed hearing about Walter Anderson's life growing up and I felt for him. I thought he was one smart and tough cookie. I think for me the book sort of fell apart at the end when he connects with his half brother. For me it just didn't live up to the build up that the reviews and book jacket gave it.
I think I would have been a happier reader if the story had just focused on his success as a person and less on him finding his half brother.
A Family Story & more...........2006-08-30
Walter Anderson's story of his experiences as an abused child, son without a loving father, confused young man, Viet Nam soldier & veteran, young writer, seeker of his own personal truth, and seeker of a truth bigger than his own. This book goes beyond personal memoir. It is about the generation who came of age in post WWII, being the son of a WWII veteran who was abused in his childhood and tortured in war, and ultimately being the true offspring of a Jewish man his mother had an affair with during the war. There are many books about how childhood abuse impacts women. This book gave insight into how men are impacted by such abuse, cultural expectations of toughness and violence, and then the traumas of war....creating men who oftentimes become the men they swore they would never become, alcoholics who abuse those closest to them. I believe Anderson was able to escape this destiny because on some level he did think differently (perhaps like his birthfather), but also because of the love of three wonderful loving women: his mother Ethel, the teacher Mrs. Williams, and his wife of over 30 yrs., Loretta. I was most moved by Anderson's comments & statements when visiting the Soviet Union in the 1980's. His definition of soul and his courage in speaking out on behalf of Jews in Russia were the best parts of the book. Inspiring and moving.
self discovery.......2003-12-21
Sad at times,but unable to put it down. The book draws you in...knowing/feeling the courage this person has. He reveals the truth about his life and tells this inspirational story..and you must read it.
Also recommended: Nightmares Echo,Courage To Heal,Lucky
The most moving book about overcoming odds..........2003-12-06
One of the most powerful narratives I've ever read.
Not just because the author overcame great odds to go on and achieve great things, but because he honestly describes his lack of faith in God and then describes the day he comes to believe in the God of his real father.
I can't say enough good things about this book, so, I'm just buying copies for all my friends, and letting them see for themselves.
Marsha Marks, author of 101 SIMPLE LESSONS FOR LIFE.
In Awe.......2003-11-30
I am completely in awe of this author and this book Meant To Be. So many lessons,teachings and above all courage through out this book
I want to also recommend Nightmares Echo. It also has courage and determination.
Book Description
With a New Afterword
When Greg Gibson's oldest son, Galen--eighteen, bright, unique, full of promise--was shot and killed by a fellow student at his school, Gibson found himself undertaking an unusual, highly personal investigation to discover the truth about his son's murder. He felt he owed it to his son, and he knew the process would help save his own sanity.
Gibson's journey begins with a visit to the man who sold the killer the gun and builds to an astonishing interview with the killer's parents--hardworking Taiwanese immigrants as anguished as the Gibsons about their own "gone boy." Along the way, he meets investigators, lawyers, psychiatrists, conspiracy theorists, bureaucrats, and more than a few lost souls.
An important exploration of gun violence in America, this unforgettable book shows a man talking his way out of grief with toughness, honesty, and a sense of humor as dry and bracing as a shot of good whisky. It also tells the unsentimental story of a family moving beyond rage to an understanding of the human heart.
Customer Reviews:
A journey into the heart of a parent.......2005-02-24
A moving account of how a father tries to come to terms with the random shooting death of his son. What we learn is that while the journey is probably necessary, there are really no terms to be found. No answers that will make dad say "wow, now I understand."
But that does not mean the journey should not be under taken. His acount of handeling the weapon that killed his son is as powerful a passage as there can be.
The book starts slower than it reads later in the text.
An emotional journey.......2004-12-14
Once I started reading Gone Boy, I could not put it down. Many times the words were a blur as tears filled my eyes thinking of Mr. Gibson's pain. He writes in a style that bears his soul and makes him as vulnerable and racked with pain as you and I would be in the same situation. However, he deals with it in a most unique way, he trys to find out all he can about Galen's murder, from the mental state of his killer to the manufactuer of the ammunition and everything in between. The most fascinating aspect of it all is that Mr. Gibson searches for all the components of his son's murder and gives us a picture of how all of these fragments happened to come together in the same place and time on that tragic day. My heart goes out to him and his family. His story is a sad one but necessary for the healing process.
brave & eloquent.......2001-08-25
For such a disturbing and sad subject, you are unable to take a break or put it down. It remains facinating and never falls into a "sob story". It is rational but allows you to feel every emotion along with the author. This book is a triumph!
Gone Boy -- a riveting read.......2001-08-16
Gone Boy, is Gregory Gibson's exploration of the facts and emotions surrounding the murder of his young son. As many other reviewers have remarked, it is beautifully written, thoughtful, and fascinating.
I expected the book to be a litany of complaints, wrongs, conspiracies and so-forth, and it was remarkably devoid of such histrionics. It was subtle and intelligent. Gibson's lack of histrionics makes the impact of his book all the stronger. His documentation of the incompetence of the Simon's Rock administration is bone-chilling.
One of the most interesting, and again, chilling, parts of the book was a description of his meeting with Leon Botstein, President of Bard College (to which Simon's Rock belongs). Yet, despite numerous reasons Gibson has to be disgusted with the performance of the Simon's Rock administration, he has managed to contain his anger enough to write a well-reasoned, moving book -- one that is at the same time a memorial to his son, and food for thought about violence in our society, our schools, and the domino-effect that each small decision can have in creating a tragedy.
alright alright.......2001-05-26
although the book was fairly well written i am a bit angered by the way gibson puts down the college. the college is very much still aware of the shooting and i don't appreciate being asked if i "go to that school where people get shot."
Book Description
On November 1, 1996, Charley Aurthur leapt to his death from a freeway overpass in Santa Monica, California. He was twenty-three years old. It was the culmination of five years of heartache for Charley and his family, as he struggled with severe mental illness, numerous hospitalizations and several other suicide attempts. Despite his family's love, intensive therapy and numerous medications, in the end, nothing could save Charley from his own encroaching sense of exhaustion and isolation. Tragically, Charley's story could be anybody's story. In the United States, more than 30,000 people commit suicide every year; it is the eighth leading cause of death overall and the third among young people aged 15-24. But the effects of suicide are even more far-reaching: Its impact on the family is frequently devastating and lifelong. Author Jonathan Aurthur knows this firsthand. His account of his son Charley's short life and death is both riveting and compelling. Charley's own letters, poems and journal entries demonstrate the terrible complexity and multidimensionality of mental illness and suicide. In the process, the author addresses his own search to understand mental illness and the inability of many medical treatments to help troubled people like Charley. He also offers an alternative treatment plan known as the "psychosocial rehab" model, which seeks to "treat the person, not the disease." This page-turner will stay with readers long after they've heard Charley's story.
Customer Reviews:
Bipolar Disorder - A Terminal Illness.......2003-09-22
Jonathan Aurthur has written a masterpiece on Mental Illness. His in-depth understanding of Mental Illness comes from his experiencing it and living with it everyday of his life for five years with his beautiful son Charley. Jonathan takes the reader on a journey through this ordeal with such candor and wit, that the reader feels sadness when the book ends.
Jonathan's unbelievable research of every aspect of Mental Illness, is so helpful to those of us that still don't understand and never will understand, how a person can go from A - Z, Z to A, and A to dead in such a short time!
His handsome, poetic and intelligent son's five year struggle with "his affliction" is detailed and chronicled in this book by using excerpts from his own personal journal and his son's journal. We finally have insight into the mind of someone tortured by this disease.
My 30-year-old son, William B. Jones, received his BS in Physics from Hobart College in NY. He played varsity hockey for Hobart College and graduated with a 3.5. He received his MS in Computer Engineering from Syracuse in October 1997 (3.87 GPA) and worked for almost two years in NY at a pharmaceutical company. A perfect son! In 1999 he became ill and returned home, never comprehending what was wrong with him. In February of 2000 he was taken by the police, in handcuffs, to Community North Hospital Psychiatric Ward, diagnosed Manic Depressive with Psychotic Features. He fought the illness for a year and a half, until he surrendered on July 25th, 2001. I found him in the garage, he had hung himself!
Jonathan Aurthur's book, "The Angel and The Dragon," should be a text book that is taught in schools, studied and read by police, teachers, Doctors, Nurses and Professionals. Mental Illness is a deadly disease.
Heart-breaking and mind-provoking.......2003-05-24
For anyone with a loved one or good friend who has suffered from mental illness, The Angel and the Dragon is a fascinating but difficult read. Jonathan Aurthur's tale of his son's mental illness and suicide is heart-breaking. His research into the mental health profession/industry is, at once, a revelation and revulsion. The reader cannot escape Aurthur's pain and frustation as he attempts to help guide his son through difficult psychotic episodes. That frustation becomes compounded as Aurthur researches doctors and the drug industries in an attempt to figure out what is wrong with his son and how to abate it if not cure it.
This book is not an easy one to read but it leaves you with a feeling of gratitude that you did.
Average customer rating:
|
A Mountain Too Far: A Father's Search for Meaning in the Climbing Death of His Son
Karl H. Purnell
Manufacturer: NEW HORIZON PRESS
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover
General
| Biographies & Memoirs
| Subjects
| Books
Memoirs
| Biographies & Memoirs
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Death & Grief
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
Grief & Bereavement
| Death & Grief
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Self-Help
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Mountaineering
| Sports
| Subjects
| Books
Mountain Climbing
| Mountaineering
| Sports
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Sports
| Subjects
| Books
ASIN: 0882822047 |
Book Description
When his son Chris is killed in an avalanche, Karl Purnell is shattered. He decides to retrace his son's climbs from the rock walls of Yosemite National Park to the French Alps and up to the Himalayan mountains.
Books:
- The Four Seasons of Marriage
- The Fred Factor: How passion in your work and life can turn the ordinary into the extraordinary
- The Heart of the World: A Journey to Tibet's Lost Paradise
- The Highway War: A Marine Company Commander in Iraq
- The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name
- The Leadership Secrets of Colin Powell
- The Man Who Flew the Memphis Belle: Memoir of a WWII Bomber Pilot
- The Many Lives & Secret Sorrows of Josephine B.
- The Mortarmen
- The Outsiders
Books Index
Books Home
Recommended Books
- The Wealth of Nations
- Simply Sensational Desserts: 140 Classics for the Home Baker from New York's Famous Patisserie and B
- Crackpot: A Novel
- Germany's Panther Tank the Quest for Combat Supremacy: Development - Modifications - Rare Variants -
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
- Non-Newtonian FLow in the Process Industries
- Introduction to Environmental Engineering and Science
- Beer for Pete's Sake: The Wicked Adventures of a Brewing Maverick
- Economic Liberalization, Distribution and Poverty: Latin America in the 1990s
- Oregon Business Directory 2001-2002: The Ultimate Sales & Credit Tool
God Lives in St. Petersburg: Short Stories
Chasing the Sea: Lost Among the Ghosts of Empire in Central Asia
The Art of Creative Nonfiction: Writing and Selling the Literature of Reality (Wiley Books for Writers Series)
Falling Through the Earth: A Memoir
Where I Was From
