Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most
Average customer rating:

Will you ever have a hard conversation? Sure, you will! Read this book first.

Difficult converations

great read

Best Book on Communication

Quality of Life Must Read

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most
Douglas Stone , Bruce Patton , Sheila Heen , and Roger Fisher
Manufacturer: Penguin (Non-Classics)
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 014028852X
Release Date: 2000-04-03

Amazon.com

We've all been there: We know we must confront a coworker, store clerk, or friend about some especially sticky situation--and we know the encounter will be uncomfortable. So we repeatedly mull it over until we can no longer put it off, and then finally stumble through the confrontation. Difficult Conversations, by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen, offers advice for handling these unpleasant exchanges in a manner that accomplishes their objective and diminishes the possibility that anyone will be needlessly hurt. The authors, associated with Harvard Law School and the Harvard Project on Negotiation, show how such dialogues actually comprise three separate components: the "what happened" conversation (verbalizing what we believe really was said and done), the "feelings" conversation (communicating and acknowledging each party's emotional impact), and the "identity" conversation (expressing the situation's underlying personal meaning). The explanations and suggested improvements are, admittedly, somewhat complicated. And they certainly don't guarantee positive results. But if you honestly are interested in elevating your communication skills, this book will walk you through both mistakes and remedies in a way that will boost your confidence when such unavoidable clashes arise. --Howard Rothman

Book Description

Members of the Harvard Negotiation Project--which brought you the mega-bestseller Getting to YES--show you how to handle your most difficult conversations with confidence and skill.

Whether you're dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with your spouse about money or child-rearing, negotiating with a difficult client, or simply saying "no," or "I'm sorry," or "I love you," we attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day. Based on fifteen years of research at the Harvard Negotiation Project, Difficult Conversations walks you through a step-by-step proven approach to having your toughest conversations with less stress and more success. You will learn:
how to start the conversation without defensiveness
why what is not said is as important as what is
ways of keeping and regaining your balance in the face of attacks and accusations
how to decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversation

Filled with examples from everyday life, Difficult Conversations will help you on the job, at home, or out in the world. It is a book you will turn to again and again for advice, practical skills, and reassurance.

"Does this book deliver on [its] promise of an effective way through sticky situations, whether 'with your baby sitter or your biggest client'? It does."-- The New York Times

"These talented communicators blend a daunting array of disciplines into highly readable and practical advice."-- Booklist

"Brilliant. . . . I've already re-read most of it. I'm using it. What more could a reader ask?"-- Tom Peters

"Emotional Intelligence applied to life's tough moments."-- Daniel Goleman

Download Description

"What is a difficult conversation? Asking for a raise. Ending a relationship. Saying ""no"" to your boss or spouse. Confronting disrespectful behavior. Apologizing. Conversations we dread, and often handle clumsily as a result, are part of all our lives: in boardrooms and family rooms, across the negotiation table and the dinner table. Now, Difficult Conversations teaches us how to handle these dialogues with more success and less anxiety. How does it work? Based on fifteen years of research and consultations with thousands of people, Difficult Conversations pinpoints what works. The authors discovered that regardless of context, the same small but crucial errors are what trip us up--and a few key adjustments can make all the difference. * The role of emotions--ours and theirs * The impact of what is said and what is not said * Why admitting our mistakes will put us in a stronger position * The truth behind the myth that women are better at expressing their emotions than men * How to respond productively in the face of personal attacks Who is this for? Filled with examples from everyday life, Difficult Conversations is certain to be an instant and lasting classic for families, neighbors, bosses, employees, customers, tenants, landlords, psychologists, teachers, and more. Who are the authors? Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen teach at Harvard Law School and at the Harvard Negotiation Project. They have consulted to countless businesspeople, governments, organizations, and communities including all parties to the negotiations on constitutional transition in South Africa; school teachers in Medellin, Colombia; and community leaders and the police department in Springfield, Massachusetts. They lecture throughout the world and have written on negotiation, conflict resolution, and communication. Bruce Patton is co-author of Getting to Yes."

Customer Reviews:

Will you ever have a hard conversation? Sure, you will! Read this book first........2007-09-21

This little book can be a great help. We all have avoided conversations we knew were going to be difficult. Often not talking made things worse, so as things became intolerable we had the discussion and things got even worse. These authors break down the inner structure of difficult conversations and how we often mishandle them. They then show us the ways in which we can turn this into a constructive process that brings more understanding, greater cooperation, and learning that will help avoid repeating the difficulties in the future.

Certainly, I can't recap the whole book in this little review, but I especially like their concept of three conversations happening within each difficult conversation. They are the debate over what happened, the feelings conversation, and the identity issues. In the what happened conversation the problem is that each side assumes it knows the truth, that they know the other party's intentions, and that they know where and how to assign blame. Of course, all this is a fiction and a waste of time. It does nothing to fix the situation or improve the process to avoid the problem in the future. The book then shows you how to have a constructive approach to the same problem. Excellent stuff!

The authors are part of the Harvard Negotiation Project and has a foreword by one of the authors of the famous book, "Getting to Yes". The book is concise, but full of very good information. I recommend it very much.

Reviewed by Craig Matteson - Ann Arbor, MI

Difficult converations.......2007-09-17

this book is well worth the read,
it is easy to get throught, and does not repeat itself.
You want to read the whole book.
nancy carlson

great read.......2007-08-27

This book is used as a textbook at the Harvard MBA. Good tool for those messy conflicts

Best Book on Communication.......2007-08-24

This is the most useful and comprehensive compendium of effective, research validated, communication concepts I have ever seen in one book. Useful for anyone who speaks with other humans, especially significant others, business colleagues and teenagers. If you are a coach, this reading is required. Difficult ideas presented in a way that makes them easy to understand and easy to apply.

Quality of Life Must Read.......2007-08-04

Difficult Conversations, by Stone, Patton, and Heen, is a foundational book in the literature of holding difficult conversations in purposeful ways. I have read it often and use its principles in my teaching and in daily life. Underlying its principles is the simple understanding that we can get better at listening, talking, and acknowledging what is actually going on in our relationships; that we create the reality of our lives by the ways in which we talk about it; and that one conversation at a time, we can choose to work with the energy of conflict instead of avoiding it. There are many good books on this topic. I suggest reading them all, starting here.

Judy Ringer is the author of Unlikely Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in Daily Conflict

WORDS THAT WORK: IT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAY, IT'S WHAT PEOPLE HEAR

Average customer rating:

Great Book
Luntz's "1984"
Clear. Concise. Comprehensive.
Brevity as an Effective Communication Skill (would that it were!)
WORDS THAT WORK

WORDS THAT WORK: IT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAY, IT'S WHAT PEOPLE HEAR
Frank Luntz
Manufacturer: Hyperion
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 1401302599
Release Date: 2006-12-20

Book Description

The nation's premier communications expert shares his wisdom on how the words we choose can change the course of business, of politics, and of life in this countryIn Words That Work, Luntz offers a behind-the-scenes look at how the tactical use of words and phrases affects what we buy, who we vote for, and even what we believe in. With chapters like "The Ten Rules of Successful Communication" and "The 21 Words and Phrases for the 21st Century," he examines how choosing the right words is essential.Nobody is in a better position to explain than Frank Luntz: He has used his knowledge of words to help more than two dozen Fortune 500 companies grow. He'll tell us why Rupert Murdoch's six-billion-dollar decision to buy DirectTV was smart because satellite was more cutting edge than "digital cable," and why pharmaceutical companies transitioned their message from "treatment" to "prevention" and "wellness."If you ever wanted to learn how to talk your way out of a traffic ticket or talk your way into a raise, this book's for you.

Customer Reviews:

Great Book.......2007-10-07

Frank Luntz does a great job of driving across that it's not what you say, it's what people hear. Although the book had a lot of political references, the lessons to effective language can be applied to any walk of life.

Luntz's "1984".......2007-09-30

If you want to know how you are being manipulated, Frank Luntz will tell you how he does it in his candid book.

Clear. Concise. Comprehensive........2007-09-28

Dr. Luntz illustrates his 10 Rules of Effective Language in the subtitle of his book Words that Work: It's Not What You Say, It's What People Hear. His 10-rule, 10-word system proves the power of language.

Disturbingly accurate examples show the impact and importance of language. What gets wired in us and why? What moves us emotionally? What makes us spend? What connects us? Words are ripples.

Lutz reveals how we get so caught up in words that we fail to communicate. Consider leaders who speak in alphabet soup and spoil our language and understanding.

Like fine embroidery, words follow design; and design is seen differently by everyone with eyes.

Using case studies as examples, Luntz makes points about how passage of time affects words, how disordered words can cause dissension and how new words shade new meanings.

Most of all, he states, what we say is who we are. He's right. Think about it.

Rebecca Jacoby, copywriter
www.afewchosenwords.com
www.beckyjacoby.com

Brevity as an Effective Communication Skill (would that it were!).......2007-09-10

Mr. Luntz sites brevity as an effective communication skill, yet he goes on and on and on with his examples and repeats himself throughout the book.

He uses the book as a vehicle to promote his Republican platforms, which is boring and annoying.

He is a little impressed with himself and is not afraid to share that with the reader. An especially distasteful example of this is his self-serving introduction about performing for Democrats and celebrities at Ariana Huffington's home.

He tries to imitate Steven Levitt's style of writing but he's just not that interesting or cool.

WORDS THAT WORK.......2007-09-08

"Words That Work: It's Not What You Say, It's What People Hear" by Frank Luntz is a modern day "how to win friends and influence people" for the 21st century. "Words That Work" is a good book but the best part is the '10 Rules of Effective Language' in the first few chapters, which is basically the whole point of the book.

You may not want to read the other chapters because the book does surprisingly focus also on how businesses can use words. You can pretty much ignore the Publisher's Weekly criticism that this book is partisan. Luntz sights good and bad examples of communication from both Democrats and Republicans. His first anecdote deals with giving a seminar at Arriana Huffington's home for the Hollywood Elite!

People who don't care about politics or business will probably get bored with this book. But if you only get half-way through the book you will be convinced that "It's Not What You Say, It's What People Hear".

"MoveOn.Org" Democrats who try to smear the lessons Frank Luntz gives in this book may do so at your own peril.

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships

Average customer rating:

Awesome book
P-E-R-F-E-C-T!!!
If you are having a hard time in your relationship...
A Classic!
Why is this book so popular?

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships
John Gray
Manufacturer: HarperCollins
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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Accessories:

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ASIN: 006016848X

Amazon.com Audiobook Review

Relationship counselor John Gray focuses on the differences between men and women--men are from Mars, and women are from Venus, after all--and offers a simple solution: couples must acknowledge and accept these differences before they can develop happier relationships. In this unabridged version, Gray gives a spirited delivery of his message, especially when role-playing typical male/female interactions. Although it takes some time to adjust to his slightly nasal tone, the information is sound and gives both men and women helpful hints on improving themselves and their union. (Running time: 9.5 hours, 6 cassettes) --Sharon Griggins

Book Description

Popular marriage counselor and seminar leader John Gray provides a unique, practical and proven way for men and women to communicate and relate better by acknowledging the differences between them.

Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets.

Using this metaphor to illustrate the commonly occurring conflicts between men and women, Gray explains how these differences can come between the sexes and prohibit mutually fulfilling loving relationships. Based on years of successful counseling of couples, he gives advice on how to counteract these differences in communication styles, emotional needs and modes of behavior to promote a greater understanding between individual partners. Gray shows how men and women react differently in conversation and how their relationships are affected by male intimacy cycles ("get close", "back off"), and female self-esteem fluctuations ("I'm okay", "I'm not okay"). He encourages readers to accept the other gender's particular way of expressing love, and helps men and women learn how to fulfill each other's emotional needs.

With practical suggestions on how to reduce conflict, crucial information on how to interpret a partner's behavior and methods for preventing emotional "trash from the past" from invading new relationships, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a valuable tool for couples who want to develop deeper and more satisfying relationships with their partners.

Customer Reviews:

Awesome book.......2007-10-09

Its not only great for learning about your partner, but about yourself too. This is a great book.

P-E-R-F-E-C-T!!!.......2007-09-06

It's amazing book. Another one that I love and recommend - How to be a Super Hot Woman: 339 Tips to Make Every Man Fall in Love with You and Every Woman Envy You

If you are having a hard time in your relationship..........2007-09-03

I am a skeptic when it comes to self-help books, so I wasn't too excited when my husband purchased Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus for the two of us to read.
We had been together for seven years and our relationship was at an all time low. A number of things had happened and we had grown apart.

Then we read the book and saw ourselves on most of the pages. Many thoughtful and open discussions followed. It was the beginning of a recovery process which lasted a few months and has a perfect outcome. We are so close and so in love now - the centers of each others universe.

My favorite piece of advice from this book is setting time aside to spend with each other uninterrupted by TV, reading, etc. We do this at least a couple of times a week. Sometimes we just sit together in silence and relax; sometimes we discuss something trivial that's on our minds... These are perfect moments.

Obviously, it is hard for me to write all this because it is very personal. However, I sincerely hope to help another couple through this book and save them months of anguish. I wish someone had given us Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus a few months earlier.

A Classic!.......2007-08-30

Almost everything you wanted to know about the opposite sex!
Just great! A must have!

Why is this book so popular?.......2007-08-24

The reasons why this book gets two stars from me are as follows:

POSITIVE:

- Gray did make a few good, common sense points: Do nice things for your partner, don't try to fix your partner, be direct in making requests.

- Some real-life examples are true to life (such as the wife who keeps trying to coax an answer to "Is anything wrong?" out of her mate.)

NEGATIVE

- Gray is extremely self-righteous, which is very annoying.

- The book is VERY repetitive, which makes it hard to read.

- The Mars/Venus analogy gets annoying after a while.

- His gender assumptions are extremely rigid, without much room for individuality.

- Some of his examples are hair-raising: he tells the story of how his wife tore giving birth, and ran out of pain killers a week after delivery. When he came home from work, she told him that she was in pain all day and felt abandoned. His reaction? He exploded, shouted at her, and stormed off. What normal man would do such a thing??

- His dislike for the word "could" is hard to explain. He claims that "could" must be replaced with "would", or the husband will not respond to any requests.

- He claims that it is natural and important for women to fall into deep depressen regularly where childhood issues resurface and she has nohing left to give this world. If her man does not support her, she will fall into a panic. WHAT?!?

- His phrase dictionary is plain ridiculous. Here is an example: If a woman says "I am so tired, I can't do anything" a man will hear "...Picking you was a big mistake" unless he has read Gray's true interpretation. Uh-huh!

- The most offensive part of the book, though, is this assertion in the introduction: "About 10 percent of women will relate more to being from Mars. This is often simply a result of being born with higher testosterone levels than most other women." WHAT?!? If my readers don't agree with me, then they have a hormonal problem. This statement unsubstantiated, false, nonsensical, and brazen. Interestingly, he does not address the fact that some men may not find themselves in these pages, either.

Overall, the book deserves two stars, considering that it had a little bit of merit to it.

Thank You for Arguing: What Aristotle, Lincoln, and Homer Simpson Can Teach Us About the Art of Persuasion

Average customer rating:

An Excellent Book for The Writer or Public Speaker
Good but a lot of information
Excellent read
Remedial Rhetoric
Great introduction to persuasion

Thank You for Arguing: What Aristotle, Lincoln, and Homer Simpson Can Teach Us About the Art of Persuasion
Jay Heinrichs
Manufacturer: Three Rivers Press
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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ASIN: 0307341445
Release Date: 2007-02-27

Book Description

Thank You for Arguing is your master class in the art of persuasion, taught by professors ranging from Bart Simpson to Winston Churchill. The time-tested secrets the book discloses include Cicero’s three-step strategy for moving an audience to actionÑas well as Honest Abe’s Shameless Trick of lowering an audience’s expectations by pretending to be unpolished. But it’s also replete with contemporary techniques such as politicians’ use of “code” language to appeal to specific groups and an eye-opening assortment of popular-culture dodges, including:

The Eddie Haskell Ploy
Eminem’s Rules of Decorum
The Belushi Paradigm
Stalin’s Timing Secret
The Yoda Technique

Whether you’re an inveterate lover of language books or just want to win a lot more anger-free arguments on the page, at the podium, or over a beer, Thank You for Arguing is for you. Written by one of today’s most popular online language mavens, it’s warm, witty, erudite, and truly enlightening. It not only teaches you how to recognize a paralipsis and a chiasmus when you hear them, but also how to wield such handy and persuasive weapons the next time you really, really want to get your own way.

Customer Reviews:

An Excellent Book for The Writer or Public Speaker.......2007-09-16

I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in Public Speaking or persuasive writing. Heinrichs keeps his readers interested in everything he has to say through the use of real-world and pop culture references. Random bits of information in the margins keep every page interesting and well worth your time.

Good but a lot of information.......2007-07-30

This is a great book if you like the subject matter. But don't think you are going to walk away ready to put all this into practice in your next public address or debate with a recalcitrant teen. Keep in mind the author's subtle point that the book effectively represents a summary session on a discipline that is thousands of years old. Not that you won't have fun trying it out though.

Excellent read.......2007-07-13

This is an excellent work and I highly recommend it. I just completed a class in composition and rhetoric at college and this should have been the text book. It is funny but highly informational at the same time.

Remedial Rhetoric.......2007-07-04

I enjoyed the book so much that I signed up to received regular emails illustrating "figures" of speech, as they are used popular media. Jay Heinrichs presents the fundamentals of rhetorics in an unpretentious and transparent manner. A lot of information is presented, and I have come to regret, like Heinrichs, that rhetoric is not taught in schools. I would have benefited from having learned these concepts in grade school. Having been persuaded the power of these techniques, I did get a little bored with the ending, where he makes a case that a rhetorically-trained society would be a more democratic one. While I enjoyed the book tremendously, I didn't give it a "5" because I felt the production of the book was poor. I had to send back my first one because it was defective (missing 30 pages), and the layout of the pages looks like it was done by a high-schooler. Also, I thought the conclusion a bit anticlimactic.

Great introduction to persuasion.......2007-05-30

Jay has written a thoroughly enjoyable book that is not only informative, but funny. Many of the concepts Jay writes about I feel I was following naturally, but never saw written down so succinctly. It is good to know that other people enjoy the useful form of argument, the art of rhetoric, still. I feel that most people I meet these days shy away from a good old fashioned debate, just for the intellectual fun of it! My Italian wife was born and raised in this rhetorical way, and this book reminded me how lucky I am to be with someone who can argue, without fighting.

What Men Really Want In Bed: The Surprising Secrets Men Wish Women Knew About Sex

Average customer rating:

Highly recommended! Great fun!
Interesting, useful, and ok... fun.
Just bought my own copy...
Listening to Men
Great book with great insight.

What Men Really Want In Bed: The Surprising Secrets Men Wish Women Knew About Sex
Cynthia W. Gentry , and Nima Badiey
Manufacturer: Quiver
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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Book Description

What do men wish women knew about sex? The answer's not as simple as you think! In What Men Really Want in Bed, 200 men from all backgrounds and walks of life reveal frank, surprising truths about sex and what really turns them on (and off), including: The most exciting thing a lover has ever done to them in bed; What kinds of things their partners do that make them feel special and appreciated; How they really feel about oral sex; What they wish their wives and girlfriends knew about seduction, foreplay, masturbation, intercourse, sexual positions, body image, and more.

Customer Reviews:

Highly recommended! Great fun!.......2007-06-14

Though most of what is in this book is pretty obvious stuff, some of it was insightful but mostly it was just a fun book to read. Definitely worth buying!

Interesting, useful, and ok... fun........2007-04-03

We passed this book around at a party and had a great time reading the results of the many surveys and the insights revealed in the interviews. Very interesting information turned up in this book!

Just bought my own copy..........2007-03-28

...having perused a friend's copy of it last night. I've also read Red Hot Tantra by the same author and would highly recommend her short stories to anyone who enjoys good erotica.

Listening to Men.......2007-03-27

A wonderful opportunity to hear men talk about their experiences, and a chance for women to think about how they objectify men (we all know how it works the other way around!). Written clearly and with wit, by Cindi Gentry, this book is informative, juicy, without being sensationalistic.

Great book with great insight........2007-03-19

If you need to get into your man's mind and better understand why he acts the way he does, this is a great book for you.

Leading with Questions: How Leaders Find the Right Solutions By Knowing What To Ask

Average customer rating:

Leading with Questions . . . . . . .
LEading with Questions
Don't fear questions
You can't obtain the right answers unless you ask the right questions.
Creating a Questioning Culture for Powerful Results

Leading with Questions: How Leaders Find the Right Solutions By Knowing What To Ask
Michael J. Marquardt
Manufacturer: Jossey-Bass
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

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ASIN: 0787977462

Book Description

In Leading with Questions, internationally acclaimed management consultant Michael Marquardt shows how you can learn to ask the powerful questions that will generate short-term results and long-term learning and success. Throughout the book, he demonstrates how effective leaders use questions to encourage participation and teamwork, foster outside-the-box thinking, empower others, build relationships with customers, solve problems, and much more. Based on interviews with twenty-two successful leaders who “lead with questions,” this important book reveals how to determine which questions will lead to solutions in today’s complicated business world.

Download Description

In Leading with Questions, internationally acclaimed management consultant Michael Marquardt shows how you can learn to ask the powerful questions that will generate short-term results and long-term learning and success. Throughout the book, he demonstrates how effective leaders use questions to encourage participation and teamwork, foster outside-the-box thinking, empower others, build relationships with customers, solve problems, and much more. Based on interviews with twenty-two successful leaders who & lead with questions, this important book reveals how to determine which questions will lead to solutions in today's complicated business world.

Customer Reviews:

Leading with Questions . . . . . . ........2007-09-24

It was a birthday gift for a son and he was very pleased with the book

LEading with Questions.......2007-05-08

The concept is excellent. Necessary for anyone in management. The book itself moves slowly and can be repetetive though. Can skip chapters 1 & 2 if you are already sold on the effectiveness of the product and want to jump right into the meat of the concept.

Don't fear questions.......2007-02-14

The author contends that we must use questions as a way to learn, and we must not fear questions that come to us. If we really seek to make the best possible decisions given time constraints and lack of information, then we must use questions to discern the reality of a key issue. Furthermore, we must ask questions in a non-threatening manner. For those on the receiving end of a question, stop becoming defensive is another key message from the author. There is one aspect of the book that is not correct: don't ask "why" questions as the author promotes. Rather, one should ask for additional information: "help me understand what happened when..., please clarify what is meant by..., etc." When we ask "why" questions, we immediately prompt defensive behaviors. Questions are critical to understanding, and this author provides some valuable tips on asking questions, except for the use of "why" questions.

You can't obtain the right answers unless you ask the right questions........2006-11-25

In several of my most recent reviews, I have quoted an observation of Peter Drucker's from an article he wrote for the Harvard Business Review (in 1963) and it seems especially relevant to Michael Marquardt's most recently published book, Leading with Questions: "There is surely nothing quite so useless as doing with great efficiency what should not be done at all." This is a common mistake, one that can be avoided if the right questions are always asked. Marquardt himself offers an excellent case in point. Before interviewing twenty-two specific leaders around the world, he formulated these five questions:

"When did you start using questions and why?"

"What are some of the ways you have used questions?"

"What questions have been most effective?"

"What has been the impact of leading through questions on (a) your organization and (b) you as a leader?"

"How has the use of questions changed you as a leader?"

The responses that Marquardt accumulated provide the substance of this book. After completing a rigorous analysis of them, he shares a number of important lessons that will help each reader to master what Marquardt correctly characterizes as "an underused management tool." I presume to add that this "tool" should be used by everyone at all levels and in all areas of operation within any organization, whatever its size or nature may be.

Marquardt carefully organizes his material within three Parts. First, he explains why questions can be so powerful for individuals and organizations. In Part Two, he offers practical guidance on selecting the right questions and then asking them effectively. In the final part, he presents a number of guidelines which suggest how leaders can use questions to achieve specific results for individuals, teams, and organizations. Resource consists of "Training Programs for Questioning Leaders"; in Resource B, Marquardt provides brief biographies of the aforementioned twenty-two leaders interviewed.

Of special interest to me is the material in Chapter 6 in which Marquardt explains how to create a "questioning culture." As clearly indicated in two of his previous books, Action Learning in Action and Optimizing the Power of Action Learning, Marquardt is both a visionary and a pragmatist: He is ever alert for opportunities to increase learning while achieving results, and, he fully understands the nature and extent of various barriers to doing that. Therefore, the information and (more importantly) the counsel he provides with regard to creating a questioning culture immediately focuses on asking the right questions to obtain the information needed, on collaborative interrogation, on capturing and then sharing what is learned, on nurturing innovation through effective use of questions, and on ensuring - meanwhile - that everyone involved has a sense of urgency. With regard to the last point, he observes that effective leaders can demonstrate a sense of purpose "by taking prompt action as issues emerge and by pushing for closure and results. [They] gather and share information while ideas are evolving." They also make certain that others do so.

Near the end of this chapter, Marquardt makes an especially important point at a time when so many of those who deliver unpleasant "messages" are either discouraged or, worse yet, punished: "All companies can strengthen their cultures by making them question-friendly. Leaders must model the way, promote values that support inquiry, ensure a safe environment that permits challenging the status quo, find opportunities to ask questions, reward questioners, and make training available when needed." Otherwise, an organization's culture will become and then remain hostage to what Jim O'Toole characterizes as "the ideology of comfort and the tyranny of custom."

The most effective leaders ask the right questions and help those for whom they are responsible to do so, also. Over time, both the questions and the answers will inevitably change but the process of interrogation which Marquardt so skillfully explains will continue to ensure that the new questions will also be the ones which must be asked, so that the answers to them will then guide and inform whatever initiatives may be necessary. With all due respect to Marquardt's earlier works, I think the material provided in Leading with Questions will have the greatest value and the widest impact.

Those who share my high regard for this brilliant book are urged to check out Marquardt's aforementioned works as well as David Maister's Practice What You Preach, Michael Ray's The Highest Goal, Jim O'Toole's Leading Change, Bill George's Authentic Leadership, Ronald Heitetz's Leadership on the Line, and Michael Hammer's The Agenda.

Creating a Questioning Culture for Powerful Results.......2006-01-14

"Asking rather than telling, questions rather than answers, has become the key to leadership excellence and success in the twenty-first century." That, in a nutshell, is the premise of this book. Marquardt who has taught and written extensively on action learning shares the wisdom of leading with questions.

The book is divided into three sections: The Power of Questions; Asking Questions Effectively; and A Guide for Leaders of Using Questions. Throughout the book the author uses quotes from interviews of top business leaders about their use of questions.

The Power of Questions begins with examples of disasters such as the sinking of Titanic, the explosion of the Challenger spacecraft, and the 1961 Bay of Pigs invasion. All disasters where the cause is attributed to a lack of questioning. Chapter 2 is a stirring recital of the benefits of questions. Questions open up perspectives, new learning, greater team work, create an empowering environment, help people gain a voice, increases listening, innovation, while reducing conflicts. It sounds like a miracle drug! Except that it's true. Questions are at the core of my business and I can attest to their transformational power!

The second part of the book is the strongest. It's the "how to" section on forming questions that will achieve all the benefits mentioned earlier. The author goes beyond simply giving lists of good questions (as some other books on questions do) and teaches you how to actually form a powerful question. Good questions he says are, "those that accomplish their purpose as well as build a positive relationship between the questioner and the questionee." He gives plenty of tips how to do this. He also addresses hinderances such as a judging or blame mentality.

The final section of the book puts questions into practice in various settings such as supervision, problem solving, and team building. Each chapter covers a different setting with 10-20 key questions and how to use them effectively.

Leading with questions is one of those skills where you think, "Yes, I want to be this way. Help me do it!" Leading with questions is a skill that requires breaking old habits and forming new more productive ones. Are you ready to increase your learning? Are you ready to tap into the potential of the people around you? Are you ready to make breakthroughs and create innovations? Then questions are for you!

What are you waiting for?

What Your Horse Wants You to Know: What Horses' "Bad" Behavior Means, and How to Correct It

Average customer rating:

Equine enthusiast
A Must-Have for All Horse Owners
Excellent book !!
Enlightening
What Your Horse Wants You to Know: What Horses' "Bad" Behavior Means, and How to Correct It

What Your Horse Wants You to Know: What Horses' "Bad" Behavior Means, and How to Correct It
Gincy Self Bucklin
Manufacturer: Howell Book House
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

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How Your Horse Wants You to Ride: Starting Out, Starting Over
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Bombproof Your Horse: Teach Your Horse to Be Confident, Obedient, and Safe, So Matter What You Encounter
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ASIN: 0764540858

Book Description

Listen to and communicate with your horse-successfully

"This is a book for everyone who has ever looked at the constantly increasing list of methods and systems marketed as `horsemanship' and wondered which of the many possible approaches would be most suitable for a particular behavior problem. Gincy Bucklin has distilled her many years of experience with horses and riders into a very useful, step-by-step, hands-on book. Bucklin's writing is smooth and easy to read, and no matter where you open this book, you'll find that her deep respect and affection for both equines and humans shines through."
-Dr. Jessica Jahiel, author of Riding for the Rest of Us

"Gincy Bucklin uses her decades-long experience with horses to answer that most frequently asked question: `Why did my horse do that?' And she comes up with creative solutions that weave together traditional horse handling with the best of modern horse training, including my own personal favorite, clicker training."
-Alexandra Kurland, author of Clicker Training for Your Horse and The Click That Teaches video lesson series

It takes time for a horse to learn everything we want him to know. If we don't make our intentions clear to him in ways that he can understand, or if we don't listen to what he wants, problems may result. Featuring easy-to-follow, step-by-step advice, What Your Horse Wants You to Know reveals how to communicate effectively with your horse to create an atmosphere of mutual cooperation.

What Your Horse Wants You to Know focuses on improving your horse's behavior on the ground, so you can develop relationship and communications skills without the more challenging problems that arise once you're on his back.

Use your entire body to communicate with your horse
Show your horse that you respect his needs and feelings
Be patient and consistent with your horse while having fun
Understand your horse's fears and overcome them
Respond appropriately to physiological or nutritional problems
Use praise to make your horse feel confident and successful

Customer Reviews:

Equine enthusiast.......2007-07-16

Very good reference book. Author presents from the horse's point of view which is how the title reads. As usual, however, the one problem that my hose developed is missing. But that may be expected since horses don't often read.

A Must-Have for All Horse Owners.......2007-04-12

Whether you're a beginning horse trainer or more advanced, and no matter what kind of training you are into, this important reference guide will teach you to communicate with your horse.

Excellent book !!.......2007-03-06

Gincy has provided a wonderful resource for all horse owners whether beginners or seasoned experts. No matter what discipline you are involved with, this book will become a favourite. It applies to horses beginning their education as well as seasoned competitors, ridden or driven, and just much loved family pets.

The basis for all relationships with our horses is communication. Gincy explains clearly how to read what your horse is saying to you and how to clearly communicate your instructions to him.

This book, like Gincy's others, is full of Gincy's very perceptive insights into equine behavior and motivation. At the same time, she generously cites highlights from the work of other successful trainers and instructors. She totally understands and loves her subject. She isolates each 'problem' or unwanted behavior, explains what it means and not only tells us how to change it but also what not to do.

For the beginner, this book provides a ready reference to cover hundreds of situations that arise in our day to day association with our horse or pony. For the experienced horse person, it is a compendium of knowledge that is so far unequaled in training literature.

Aside from all that, it is an entertaining read.

Jessie and ponies

Enlightening.......2007-02-09

A good read, in dot point form. Good as a quick reference or a long read.

What Your Horse Wants You to Know: What Horses' "Bad" Behavior Means, and How to Correct It.......2007-01-08

This book has helped me so much in understanding my formerly abused rescue horse. Simple strategies for dealing with problems safely and effectively - with very happy results. I wish there was a book like this for everything!

What People Want: A Manager's Guide to Building Relationships That Work

Average customer rating:

A wealth of information applicable to nearly any middle-sized business structure.
Practical and Powerful Guide for Leaders
Motivating employees best management

What People Want: A Manager's Guide to Building Relationships That Work
Terry Bacon
Manufacturer: Davies-Black Publishing
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

Communications | Skills | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books

General | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books

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Measuring What Matters: Simplified Tools for Aligning Teams and Their Stakeholders
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ASIN: 0891062165

Book Description

What People Want, for the first time, addresses the changing demographics and differences in the workplace to highlight what matters most in employee-manager relationships. Based on first-of-its-kind research that assessed the needs of hundreds of professionals across a variety of industries, Terry Bacon explores in-depth the seven most important needs-for trust, challenge, self-worth, competence, appreciation, excitement, and an ability to develop and sustain an identity of merit.

Customer Reviews:

A wealth of information applicable to nearly any middle-sized business structure........2007-02-09

WHAT PEOPLE WANT: A MANAGER'S GUIDE TO BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS THAT WORK is based on original research involving some 500 professionals across a range of industries who comment on the motivators which produce workplace results. Managers and business students will benefit from these real-world examples paired with nearly 200 applied practice tips, and will find a wealth of information applicable to nearly any middle-sized business structure.

Diane C. Donovan
California Bookwatch

Practical and Powerful Guide for Leaders.......2007-01-16

Terry Bacon's book is a compelling guide that I would recommend to individuals who are new to the leadership arena, as well as those who are already in management. It highlights leadership theory with practical examples, and the content is laid out in easily digestible segments. Terry combines research based theory with real life scenarios which help the reader relate and apply the concepts to their own situations. I think it should be required reading for all new managers. Great book!

Motivating employees best management.......2007-01-10

This book is excellent reading and should be required reading for all levels of current and prospective managers. It fits in with current modern research on people management and how to motivate employees and supports the theory that most employee productivity problems, etc, are due to poor managerial style and performance. Treating employees as human beings does wonders.

How to Think Like A Horse: The Essential Handbook for Understanding Why Horses Do What They Do

Average customer rating:

Winifred's View
If I were a horse
Wonderful book!
How to think like a horse
How to think like a horse

How to Think Like A Horse: The Essential Handbook for Understanding Why Horses Do What They Do
Cherry Hill
Manufacturer: Storey Publishing, LLC
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback

General | Animal Care & Pets | Home & Garden | Subjects | Books

Teach Your Horse Perfect Manners: How You Should Behave So Your Horse Does Too
How Your Horse Wants You to Ride: Starting Out, Starting Over
What Your Horse Wants You to Know: What Horses' "Bad" Behavior Means, and How to Correct It
Horsekeeping on a Small Acreage: Designing and Managing Your Equine Facilities
The Whole Horse Catalog: The Complete Guide to Buying, Stabling and Stable Management, Equine Health, Tack, Rider Apparel, Equestrian Activities and Organizations...and ... Else a Horse Owner and Rider Will Ever Need

ASIN: 1580178359

Book Description

Ask someone who works with horses how best to communicate with a balky colt and she will tell you that horses do not respond to human cajoling. To be successful the human must understand and work with, not against, the horse’s instincts, needs, and fears. When a trainer resorts to human teaching methods — reasoning, begging, bribing, even hugging and kissing — the horse will become confused and unable to respond appropriately. But if horses are treated respectfully with methods they understand, everyone involved — animal and human — will be happier, safer, and more productive.

Horse trainer and instructor Cherry Hill believes that every human/horse relationship benefits from a greater human understanding of what motivates horses, how they experience the world, what makes them happy, and what worries them. Journey through the equine mind with Hill as she explores all that makes a horse tick. How do his basic needs dictate his behavior and mood? What touches and tastes appeal to his senses? How does his “flight or fight” instinct dictate his response to sudden movements?

Hill offers interactive experiments — fun for both horse and human — that bear out her findings on horse behavior. And her final chapter presents simple training methods that draw from the insights and information presented throughout the book.

Customer Reviews:

Winifred's View.......2007-09-28

I have purchased many books on horses and riding, but Cherry Hill's "..Think Like a Horse" explained and reinforced so much more about what I was questioning and experiencing with my horse. It is certainly a wonderful resourse for "newbies" like myself who have discovered the wonders of horse at a late age, but I believe it also holds a lot of insights for the more experienced riders/owners who care about knowing their horses at least as well as they ride/show them. I was looking for something to explain a particular change in my horse's behavior (after eye exams, blood work etc turned up negative) and I believe I found it in Ms. Hill's book. Winnie and I thank her for sharing her knowledge and wisdom in a book packed with information.

If I were a horse.......2007-09-20

If I were a horse, I would want this author to be my "keeper." This book is written with keen insight and clearly communicated to anyone who owns a horse, rides a horse or has dreamed of galloping across a great meadow as free as the wind. I highly recommend this book along with another book that embraces horses: It's called On the Trail of the Pony Express and the book follows Cherokee author, Jerry Ellis, for 2,000 miles along the Pony Express Trail by foot, horse, covered wagon and canoe from Missouri to California.

Wonderful book!.......2007-07-15

This is a delightful book full of information and insight from an often under-appreciated trainer. Cherry Hill covers everything from development to grooming to behavior to training.
Information which is normally strewn across several horse books comes together in this single volume. This is a must-read for every horse enthusiast.

How to think like a horse.......2007-06-08

The book was very informative and easy to understand

How to think like a horse.......2007-05-29

Received the book in a very quick time....I love the book....finished it in 3 days....Thank You

What Sticks: Why Most Advertising Fails and How to Guarantee Yours Succeeds

Average customer rating:

Still Worth It
Marketing is not just Advertising!
Save Your Money
The Best Advertising Book Since Ogilvy on Advertising
Talk about a "lite" read - this is rediculous

What Sticks: Why Most Advertising Fails and How to Guarantee Yours Succeeds
Rex Briggs , and Greg Stuart
Manufacturer: Kaplan Business
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Hardcover

Communications | Skills | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books

General | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books

Advertising | Marketing & Sales | Business & Investing | Subjects | Books

Juicing the Orange: How to Turn Creativity into a Powerful Business Advantage
Marketing Metrics: 50+ Metrics Every Executive Should Master
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Perfect Pitch: The Art of Selling Ideas and Winning New Business (Adweek Books)
BrandSimple: How the Best Brands Keep it Simple and Succeed

ASIN: 1419584332
Release Date: 2006-09-01

Book Description

What Sticks is the one book that explains exactly how marketing and advertising works today! Based on new insights from analysis of over $1 billion worth of advertising.

Decades ago it was okay to believe, as retail magnate John Wanamaker did, that “Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don’t know which half.” However, today the stakes are much higher. Marketing thought leaders Rex Briggs and Greg Stuart estimate that $112 billion in advertising spending in the U.S. alone is wasted, cutting deeply into company profits.

What Sticks uncovers bold new insights from the largest-ever global marketing research project among 30 Fortune 200 companies, including: Procter & Gamble, Johnson & Johnson, Kraft, McDonalds, Unilever, Ford and others. This is a comprehensive and solutions-oriented book that outlines how any marketer, at any level, can guarantee their advertising succeeds.

Marketers cannot ignore the findings or the solutions revealed in What Sticks, such as:

* Why 47% of the advertising campaigns studied didn’t work and what you can do to guarantee yours does

* How to spend the same advertising budget, but get better results

* How to get your CFO and CEO to eagerly increase your marketing & advertising budget

* How to forecast next year’s advertising budget (Hint: It’s not by using last year’s spending!)

* How to immediately fix your advertising by applying these principles and real nuggets of wisdom

Revitalize your advertising and join the new marketing revolution at www.whatsticks.NET

Customer Reviews:

Still Worth It.......2007-05-14

Although helpful, this book broke its promise. It preached of advertising accountability and offered fancy formulas to measure failure and success. But as far as offering realistic ways to initially track such numbers, it skirted the issue almost entirely. Nevertheless, it's witty, provocative and educational. Of anyone, this book is best for readers who actively hire ad agencies.

Marketing is not just Advertising!.......2007-03-16

I bought the book after reading the foreword by Steven D. Levitt, author of Freakonomics. His remarks gave me full assurance that I would gain uncommon insights into marketing that were backed by hard data.

Levitt's remarks that convinced me were "Marketing is messy, but not impossible...It is messy because there are lots of variables such as competitive spending, unobserved fluctuations in demand, and a complex array of intersecting media...big electronics firms advertise more before Christmas. Are their sales high because they advertise more, or do they advertise more because their sales are high? It is hard to know for sure...This book is going to rile a lot of feathers. It may get messy -- just the way I like it."

After reading sections of the book, I am very fascinated at the Freakonomics analytics used to examine the mix of marketing, advertising and ROI.

Save Your Money.......2007-02-09

Great title. Great cover design. Anaemic content.

"What Sticks" falls short by not providing detailed examples of how the algorithm for determining success actually works. Namedropping is brought to a new level as "Fortune 500" company names fall from the sky.

Dig out your umbrella and a shovel because that is what you will need to read this book.

Send your money to the Red Cross or some other worthy cause, but do not waste it on this paltry book.

The Best Advertising Book Since Ogilvy on Advertising.......2007-01-13

Whether you are a seasoned marketing veteran or a young person aspiring to a marketing career, you must buy this book.

My credentials: I am a 15 year veteran of the advertising agency of the business (starting at Ogilvy & Mather), then the lead marketing analyst at Forrester Research for 8 years. I've known Rex and Greg for years, and have admired the innovation and leadership they have brought to the industry. I'm now CMO of a social media analysis firm.

They have accomplished something extremely rare with this book: created something that a beginner should read to learn the immutable basics of advertising, but that a veteran like me also needs to read in order to learn new techniques and insights enabled by new technologies. The result is a book that avoids the hysteria currently gripping the marketing world that the old mass marketing model is dead. the consumer is totally in control, while providing a clear roadmap, strategies, and tools to evolve marketing based on intelligent experimentation, hard facts about what works, and, perhaps most importantly, how to guide this evolution within a framework that doesn't completely disrupt the typical company's marketing culture.

Key to these are the concepts of ROMO (Return on marketing objective), COP (Communications Optimization Planning) and 70-20-10 (the formula to allocate the marketing budget to deliver on key business objectives while also testing and learning). [...].

Talk about a "lite" read - this is rediculous.......2007-01-10

Another biz book that has no more content that a magazine article. Complete rip off. The authors should be ashamed....

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