Book Description
Sex is at the core of our identities. And when it becomes a compulsion, it can unravel our lives.. "Out of the Shadows" is the premier work on this disorder, written by a pioneer in its treatment. Revised and updated to include the latest research--and to address the exploding phenomenon of cybersex addiction--this third edition identifies the danger signs, explains the dynamics, and describes the consequences of sexual addiction and dependency. With practical wisdom and spiritual clarity, it points the way out of the shadows of sexual compulsion and back into the light and fullness of life.
Customer Reviews:
Everything you need to know - for starters.......2007-09-22
I purchased this book for my husband shortly after discovering his sexual addiction. He found it spoke to him so profoundly that he insisted I read it as well. It has a lot of information on a difficult topic presented in a way that just makes sense. By the end of the book, I felt real hope for his recovery. We have since purchased numerous other books by this same author.
An Excellent Book for Recovery.......2007-08-17
I've been in and out of therapy for nearly ten years trying to figure out what exactly was going on with me, but I realize now my problem was I was trying to treat my symptoms, like anxiety and depression, instead of the real problem. I read "Out of the Shadows" and was shocked at how accurately it described me and my life, and I realized my addiction has been destroying relationships with people I love and controlling my life for over half of my life. I'm a bit apprehensive about 12-step programs, but I'm fortunate to have a father who has completed the program and believes in it, so I've signed up today and will give it a try. From the book, the strangest thing about recovery is this paradox: you have to admit that you are powerless over your addiction in order to begin separating yourself from it. I had always thought I had to just ignore cravings like I did to quit smoking, or fight tooth-and-nail with willpower. But you have to seek help outside yourself to really get better. It's going to hurt, but not as bad as the fact I've lost forever some relationships I wish I could have back. I won't do that again.
Help put words to the turmoil you go through.......2007-07-16
Reading this book has helped me find the path towards the journey to finding the right words to describe what I was going through. As a codependent, you feel isolated, this book will make you feel like you are not going crazy and you are not alone! If you have a partner struggling and in denial, buy two of them and read the book together. Realization is part of the keys towards recovery.
Begin To Understand.......2007-07-13
This book is essential for anyone who is struggling with sex addiction. It provides insight and wisdom that helps to unravel the mystery and reduce the shame around compulsive sexual behavior.
This book is sometimes criticized for suggesting that 12-step programs should be a regular part of the addict's recovery. While this may be an issue for some people, I strongly suggest that you not let it deter you from buying the book. The suggestions are merely suggestions, and shouldn't be interpreted as being absolutely essential for one's recovery.
Regardless of whether or not you agree with everything that is suggested, this book will still teach you a great deal about the nature of sexual addiction, and open the door for you to make the changes necessary to rid yourself of this toxic, compulsive behavior and improve your relationships with friends, family, and yourself.
12 Step as a treatment?.......2007-06-04
In reading Out of the Shadows Dr.Carnes is very much in favor of a 12 Step program to treat sex and love addiction. In my opinion, this is a disservice to people afflicted with this behavioral problem; I'm one of them. I've been to many SLAA meetings, and know that sitting in a room and listening to other dysfunctional people recite stories is not therapeutic. No feedback from experts is provided, in fact no feedback at all is provided. It's empty words falling on empty ears. Additionally, many of the attendees are addicted to 12-Step programs and go to a different on several times per week. Many attendees have deeper psychological problems than sex addiction and need help that a 12 Step program couldn't possibly provide.
There is no evidence that 12-Step programs work any better than any other type of behavioral intervention. As Dr.Carnes must know, there is much evidence that they don't work at all and that there is an extremely high failure rate for all 12-Step programs. The concept that God will fix it, that you are powerless, that by turning it over to the ever-popular "higher power" will make everything better...I can't believe that a man of Dr.Carnes' education would suggest that ANY behavior or addiction treatment could benefit from such nonsensical concepts. Additionally, calling sex and love addition a disease is inappropriate and untrue. Cancer is a disease. Alcoholism is a disease. Sex and love addiction is a learned, acquired and adopted habit/behavior. While I believe the book offers very real life examples of the damage this behavior can do, it gives false hope to people by suggesting that by starting a 12-Step program, a program with such a long history of lies, deceit and failure, they can change their behavior and their lives.
I realize all meetings aren't the same, but the 12-Steps they're based on are, and there is much evidence to suggest that this method of recovery is, at best, flawed.
Amazon.com
We know the shadow by many names: alter ego, lower self, the dark twin, repressed self, id. Carl Jung once said that the shadow "is the person you would rather not be." But even if you choose to hide your dark side, it will still cast a shadow, according to author Debbie Ford. Rather than reject the seemingly undesirable parts of ourselves, Ford offers advice on how to confront our shadows. Only by owning every aspect of yourself can you achieve harmony and "let your own light shine," she explains. "The purpose of doing shadow work, is to become whole. To end our suffering. To stop hiding ourselves from ourselves. Once we do this we can stop hiding ourselves from the rest of the world."
As threatening as shadow work may seem, it is often very effective in creating transformation. Ford's step-by-step guidebook is modeled on a highly successful course she developed about embracing the shadow. Ultimately, she helps readers illuminate the gifts and strengths that lie within the shadows. Although this works sound vague, clouded in dark metaphors, Ford manages to make it clear and specific. She has the writing gifts of a successful seminar leader--inspirational, trustworthy, and able to convey murky material with grace and ease. --Gail Hudson
Book Description
Debbie Ford believes that we each hold within us a trace of every human characteristic that exists, the capacity for every human emotion. We are born with the ability to express this entire spectrum of characteristics. But, Ford points out, our families and our society send us strong messages about which ones are good and bad. So when certain impulses arise, we deny them instead of confronting them, giving them a healthy voice, then letting them go. It is to these feelings that Ford turns our attention, these parts of our selves that don't fit the personae we have created for the rest of the world. She shows us the effects of living in the dark, of keeping all our supposedly unsavory impulses under wraps. We find ourselves disproportionately frustrated and angry at the selfishness of friends, the laziness of colleagues, the arrogance of siblings. When we are unable to reconcile similar impulses in ourselves, Ford explains, we waste our own energy judging others instead of empathizing. But most important, we deny ourselves the power and freedom of living authentically. Through the stories and exercises in The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Debbie Ford shows us not only how to recognize our hidden emotions, but also how to find the gifts they offer us. The very impulses we most fear may be the key to what is lacking in our lives.
Customer Reviews:
The Dark Side of the Light Chasers - Debbie Ford.......2007-05-26
This book will help you "find" yourself. A very useable aide in self-enlightenment. Does what it says it can.
WOW!.......2007-05-12
I've read hundreds of self help books. This one is straight forward, courageous and at times a bit brutal. I'll admit that sometimes she suggests things I didn't want to face in myself. I was especially taken with her open honesty about her prejudices, which she didn't believe she had. Out of all self-help books I've read, this is in my top 5 if you want to transform your life into something more whole and more powerful than anything you've known.
Applicable from the first page.......2007-01-18
This book is a very practical guide to accepting yourself rather than trying to change yourself. It is very user friendly and easy to read and understand. You can either use it as a "handbook" for how to be "whole" or as a way to enhance your qualities in your spritual life. It can easily be read several times. There are exercises to do that you may want to do immediately or return to when you have a different level of understanding of the book. I highly recommend it.
Life Changing!.......2007-01-03
If you were allowed only one self help book, this is the one. Start this book with an open mind if you want to change your life for the better.
So many of my questions were answered with this book. Be aware of the big mirror that will appear before you and embrace it. This book will peel away layers of feelings and emotions you never knew you had. Follow this book and your life will change. I've read a lot of books in my day and this one really digs deep and leads you to a more peaceful and calm life.
You will find the power of forgiveness is really huge.
THE BOOK TO END IGNORANCE AND SPREAD ENLIGHTENMENT.......2007-01-03
This is the most helpful book l have ever read in my life. lt should be mandatory reading for every human. lt will make you see who you really are, not judge others and also look at things from others perspectives, heal any parts that need to be healed, and make you a stronger, better person- all around. lts the first step toward enlightenment. lt will change your life. lt can change people. l wouldnt be who l am today if someone hadnt gave me this book. lt will make you an authentic person who takes pride in who you are. lts the tool for reaching well being, which is a euphoric feeling, and makes a perfect gift for anyone who is feeling any discontent with their life, theirself, or others. ld also recommend 'finding your own north star' by martha beck.
Book Description
Second Edition
Customer Reviews:
Good "Starter" Book..........2007-01-25
The book is comprehensive, well-researched, and well-presented. I did learn a lot from the book, and I would recommend this book to other people beginning recovery from SA. The book talks about the ten types/stages of courtship and how sexual addiction can affect an addict, so you can diagnose yourself and where you're having difficulties from the charts. It also talks about how slips are like boulders falling off a hill, and there's a great illustration to explain that and how bottomlines can help you.
What was missing for me, and hence the 4 stars, was the lack of content regarding "Relationship Recovery" part. There isn't much indication on how to go about dating the right way for S&L addicts - for example, if you saw the chart and realized you have problems with "seduction" phase of the courtship, you know you have this, but the book doesn't help you to revert this, or suggest what you're supposed to do with the diagnosis, other than "abstinence".
I would say this is a great resource for Sex Addicts in Recovery, but if you are a Sex AND Love Addict in recovery - this book won't fulfill all your needs. I don't know; perhaps Carnes has written a separate book for Love Addiction that I haven't checked out yet.
I would say I'm about 85% satisfied with the information provided by the book, and roughly 70% satisfied with the purchasing of this book.
Facing Reality.......2006-06-26
Dr. Carnes is a noted authority and perhaps the premier researcher in the area of sexual addiction. His work goes back easily some twenty years. I have studied with Dr. Carnes and I can say with some authority that this may be his finest work. It is the fruit of much thought and labor. It is reality. Carl Rogers said: "Until we can accept ourselves as we really are we can't change." This book, really a work book, helps the addicted person do just that. But it doesn't stop there. The addict is able to see through the work he does that he is able, through healthy activities, to regain control of his life. This is the second edition. Dr. Carnes demonstrates not only his high standards of authorship, but his humility and ability to accept constructive criticism both from within himself and I think perhaps others, in the changes he has put into this second edition. They are well worth the effort. Dr. Carnes comes at the sexual addiction issue with clarity, research, and above all empathy. His other work "The Recovery Zone," will I think prove to be as well received as this work.
Roger L. Johnson
M.A, Th.M. LPC
Director, Day Program
Meier Clinics
super workbook in tandem with group therapy.......2003-01-02
Working through this with group therapy has been wonderful and life changing. Cannot recommend it highly enough. Get Carnes' other books as well.
Book Description
A bestselling author shows how we can reclaim and make peace with the "shadow" side of our personality.
Customer Reviews:
I couldn't quite understand this book.......2007-08-24
I couldn't quite understand this book maybe because it was too dark. Maybe someday down the road I will re-read this book again and get some understanding out of it but as for today I cannot make heads or tails of it.
A little book with a big message.......2007-06-27
Most reference books are large. This one, even with all of the information packed inside, is instead, rather small. In doing the work of owning your own shadow, "what is the purpose of my life?" is a question that can be discovered. Paired with Johnson's "Innerwork," readers can learn to be in touch with and find meaning in the deeper regions of the psyche. To be able to map out a life for oneself amidst the rushing pace and excrement of the sewer that can pass for as life can offer hope to readers who want more as we begin excavating the gold in our own shadows.
A lot of padding.......2007-06-27
I found this book over simplistic. I don't know who Robert Johnson is writing for but from this book I would guess it was for those with learning difficulties. He repeats his points over and over again, basically I think the actual content of this book could be covered in a 5 pages rather than 118. I guess he does have to spread out the plugs he gives for his other books.
Promotes Acceptance, a Bit Too Long.......2007-06-07
I liked the principle that when I grow fast or experience great excitement, some part of me may experience a rebound. It gave a context for looking more fully at some of my patterns. However, the more I live in acceptance of whatever I experience without making an identify for myself out of it, the less this applies. And, the "rebound" is not an unavoidable part of anything good.
A simple and basic explanation of the shadow.......2006-12-01
This book is a fairly light read at 118 pages and serves as a good general outline of the concept of shadow. The brevity of it is one of its strengths because you finish it quickly and are not intimidated to re-read it if you felt like you missed something. I found myself going back to fill in the gaps of my preliminary reading and caught many more missed insights than I had expected. Brief, but chocked full of gold.
Customer Reviews:
Good as readers go.......2007-03-13
This is a reader; brief articles taken from other sources, on the subject of the shadow. It is a good place to start if you are new to this subject, but it is by no means comprehensive. It is quite repetitive; almost every article/essay begins with the definition of the shadow, and several themes are continually restated throughout. As another reviewer said, the book is dated, what with mentions of US-Russian relations, but don't let that stop you; you need not read every article in order to benefit from the messages within. Instead, read articles selectively, according to your own personal needs.
Amazing contributors, better editing, good concepts.......2006-10-09
If you are interested in the Jungian idea of The Shadow, this is a great read. Just look at the contributors- Robert Bly, Jung, Joseph Cambell, Ken Wilbur... these are big names by smart people.
We are using this book in a Shadow Work class, and everyone has truly enjoyed it. I think you would too.
Shadow workbook?.......2006-08-20
I did not realize that this was a shadow workbook until after I had read quite a few chapters. It is an entertaining book to read, reminding me of Vincent Prices Theatre. As great as one story is the next one tops it. Zweig and Abrams have gathered a great collection of stories that will get you to open up your mind to receive something that was there all the time. 5 STARS!
Enter the Shadow..........2004-09-02
The 65-article anthology "Meeting the Shadow" is a mixed bag, with some articles the equivilent of fluffinutor, and others with rich and deep meaning for those searching for knowledge. This book did make me reconsider how I project onto others. This is a good psychological read, but some of the information is quite dated, as some articles are relevent mainly to the Cold War(It was written in 1990, but some articles are from the '70s.).
"No one knows what the shadow knows.".......2003-11-29
This collection of 65 essays from a wide array of Jungian practioners is designed to give us a window into the mysterious world that lives within each of us; the shadow.
Each of these essays, in their own unique ways, throws the lid off of our own personal "Pandora's box" and brings us face to face with the disowned and despised parts of who we are: sexual urges, rage, resentment, arrogance, greed, envy; the list is endless.
Jung was once quoted as saying "I would rather be whole than to be good." I did not understand this statement until I read this book. Now that I have begun my own "shadow work," the picture is becoming clearer, and clearer.
Average customer rating:
- This book covers it all
- Excellent Resource
- Excellent information; not enough to fight addiction
- Help With Online Pornography Addiction
- Good book, terrible problem.
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In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior
Ph.D., Patrick Carnes ,
Ph.D., David L. Delmonico ,
M.A., Elizabeth Griffin , and
Joseph Moriarity
Manufacturer: Hazelden
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
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Pornography
| Social Sciences
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Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction
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Treating Pornography Addiction: The Essential Tools for Recovery
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Don't Call It Love: Recovery From Sexual Addiction
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Facing the Shadow: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery
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The Sex Addiction Workbook: Proven Strategies to Help You Regain Control of Your Life (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)
ASIN: 1592851495 |
Book Description
It's 3:30 a.m. and Kevin is still online, absorbed in pornographic images flashing across his computer screen, and searching for more. Hours ago he tucked his children into bed and said good night to his wife, retreating to the computer to "finish up some work." Although his late night ritual leaves Kevin ashamed and exhausted, he is too embarassed and guild-ridden to seek help. He tells himself that no one would understand anyway. Anonymous and accessible, the Internet offers an alluring arena for compulsive sexual behavior. Destroyed marriages, career loss, and financial ruin are common outcomes. Revealing how desperate life can become for someone addicted to online sex, In the Shadows of the Net brings hope and healing to mena dn women struggling to understand and overcome this compulsive behavior. Drawing on their collective clinical expertise as well as current research, the authors equip readers with specific strategies for recognizing and recovering from compulsive online sexual behavior. "A valuable road map for understanding and healing cybersex addictions." Windy Maltz, M.S.W., author, The Sexual Healing Journey, and coauthor, Private Thoughts "In the Shadows of the Net shines a hopeful light on the dark side of cyberspace. It is certain to become a valued resource in dealing with a new frontier of addictive disorders.Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist, and author Silently Seduced "The authors Present a positive and effective approach to dealing with cybersex, a rapidsly increasing problem. In the Shadows of the Net is sure to become a classic in its field." Gary Blanchard, B.A., A.A.C., Addiction Counselor, and author, The Positive Path of Recovery "Very powerful. In the Shadows of the Net comes at a time when the need is great for understanding and exploring cybersex treatment possibiliites. Today Internet pornography is more powerful than Viagra for many persons. I shall definitely recommend this book to my patients." Ralph H. Earle, M.Div., Ph.D., Prseident, Psychological Counseling Services, Ltd., coauthor, Lonely All the Time.
Customer Reviews:
This book covers it all.......2007-08-25
As the spouse of an internet-porn addict,this book explained exactly how I felt and helped me to understand how my spouse felt when he was trapped in the Net. The best part about this book is the explanation of how the difficult journey to freedom will be worth more than the temporary and ultimately devastating "high" that users are addicted to. It also shows users how this seemingly harmless pastime can lead users to become someone they don't know or never thought they could become-doing things that stand against their own moral standards. It is brilliant.
Excellent Resource.......2007-05-29
This is a great resource for people dealing with online sexual compulsive addictions. Whether its you or someone you love, this book helps navigate through the confusion associated with the addictive behaviors. Many books just touch on the subject, but this one really focuses solely on the topic. It covers everything from diagnosis to recovery. Patrick Carnes is a straight forward, no nonsense Dr. The book is well written and a fast read, no need for a PhD in order to understand it. Finally a book that offers hope and relief! I'm greatful to have found it.
Excellent information; not enough to fight addiction.......2007-03-09
This is a fantastic book that takes the reader into a detailed explanatation of what this addiction really is. Mr. Carnes explains the factors and processes that affect the addict by also giving examples of behavior and describing patient's stories. For those trying to get a more comprehensive understanding of the addiction as well as the issues that prevent an addict from freeing him or herself of it, this book is excellent.
Just one note of caution: As much as this book as well as others by the same author are great resources, they are not enough. As with every addiction, there is a "cleansing" process that must be followed, and should be guided under the supervision of an experienced professional. Also, people in this addiction should seek a support group, such as the SLAA.
Help With Online Pornography Addiction.......2007-01-21
This book is up-to-date on a topic that until more recently went unrecognized as problematic. It can be beneficial for professionals working with a client population that participates in a variety of compulsive or addictive online sexual behaviors and who would like to reduce or eliminate these compulsions and addictive behaviors. It can also be recommended to clients for their own use. It helps in determining if a problem exists with use of a screening test, how to set up healthy boundaries, and help with relapse prevention. It can be especially beneficial when paired with a workbook on breaking free of compulsive online sexual behaviors. This book, by reputable authors, provides information & help designed especially for this population and for professionals attempting to help.
Good book, terrible problem........2005-11-18
This is a very useful book if you have a problem, or even think you might, with regard to compulsively searching for and/or using internet porn, chat rooms, etc.
I would also like to mention, in light of the fact that one of the authors, David Delmonico,Ph.D., lives here in Pittsburgh, that there is an active SLAA (Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous) that can help individuals break this addiction and find a new, happier, healthier way of living. It can be contacted through http://www.wpa-slaa.org
Readers in other areas can contact Fellowship Wide Services at [...]
To everyone reading this now, I'd just like to leave with the thought that life CAN get better. And you don't have to try and change for the rest of your life. You only have to try to do better for today....
Amazon.com
The past is more than prologue, says bestselling author and Chopra Center for Well Being counselor Debbie Ford. The Secret of the Shadow urges readers to create a fresh meaning about their formative experiences, especially the painful ones, and use them to plan a more purposeful and authentic life. Ford believes that each person is born with unique gifts and a divine purpose, which are lost when we create a "story"--a collection of beliefs--that manufactures a false self and casts a shadow to hide our uniqueness and prevent us from success in work and love. As she explains, "the key is to stop chasing the feel-good moments and make peace with our stories so we can understand, accept and embrace everything in the past that has caused us pain." Once we stop trying to change the painful parts of our story, we will discover the divine plan for our lives.
Writing in the voice of the wounded healer, Ford tells her own story of embracing the wisdom and direction she found in facing family and addiction problems. She skillfully offers examples from participants in her workshops at the Chopra center who have leveraged the lessons of a painful past into a purposeful life. She invites readers to "own their whole story" by asking: What is the secret [about you] that your story conceals? What wisdom can you contribute to the world that you couldn't if the events in your life hadn't happened?"
At times, Ford's approach seems derivative of 12-step programs and ersatz Buddhism. And she mixes metaphors of shadows and light with those of a recipe and ingredients. Readers also know that self-reflection, acceptance of life's mixed blessings, and making lemonade from lemons are not new ideas. Yet Ford's passion and persuasiveness make a fresh case for daring to be yourself, learning from experience, and discovering the divine spark that is beyond our understanding. --Barbara Mackoff
Book Description
In The Secret of the Shadow bestselling author Debbie Ford shows us how to rediscover our true essence, which is hidden in the shadows of our own dramatic life stories. In her blockbuster The Dark Side of the Light Chasers Ford introduced us to our "shadow." Now she uncovers our "Story", the collection of beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors that prevent us from having all the love, happiness, and success we desire. She guides us to understand that bidden in the shadow of our stories is our magnificence, and our unique gift. The Secret of the Shadow shows that the stories we tell ourselves about our lives do not define who we truly are. In fact, they prevent us from grasping our purpose and potential. When we live in these stories we engage in noisy internal dialogues, self-defeating habits, and abusive behaviors. But once they are understood and processed, our traumas and failures, our pain and our discontent, will take us deep inside and return us to our Divine essence.
Our personal dramas contain important information and wisdom that can help us discover our essential selves and true purpose in life. The process of making peace with our stories requires us to identify, understand, accept, and embrace everything in our past that has caused us pain. In order for us to heal, we must stop chasing what Ford calls "the feel-good moments" and embark on the extraordinary journey of loving and embracing all that we are. The process outlined in this book offers us a way out of the never-ending cycle of pain and discontent. Whether we suffer from depression, ill health, a sense of unworthiness, arrogance, or low self-esteem, the road to heating is the same. This clear process (including action steps and contemplations in each chapter) will help you to discover your unique purpose and realize the fulfillment of your deepest desires.
As we make the inner journey of embracing our story and all its ingredients, we begin to see the life that lies ahead of us, a life that will give us the gift of our eternal selves.
Customer Reviews:
Almost perfect.......2007-07-25
I think what I like most about this book is how succinct it is. If you're having a dark night of the soul, and dealing with the shock of realizing who you really are, as opposed to who you have robotically been in life, this is a definitive book on the subject.
While reading it voraciously, I had many lightbulb moments which touched me in crucial places. I suggest you read the whole book, cover-to-cover, as written. It is valuable even if you might not be ready for all of it, such as putting an end to blaming, or even if you're not currently in a place where you are able to objectively see that whatever happened to you ("your story"), no matter how traumatic or painful, served a purpose in your life; it took you along a path you NEEDED in order to get you from there to here. Even if you cannot see those gifts at this time, even if you are still deeply steeped in that pain, read the book, for it offers hope; you can and will eventually reach "the end."
My only complaint is that the book's themes seem illustrated using oddly weak scenarios. For instance, the traumatic experience that one person could not seem to get over was that her mother forgot to pick her up from school one day. Now, far be it for me to seem unfeeling, but I'm thinking there are much more substantial traumas in life, and if you're drawn to this book, your traumas probably go much deeper than such example. In addition, said victim wrote her mother a letter describing the incident, and the mother supposedly wrote back with a sincere, heartfelt apology. How many of us who have been deeply disturbed at the soul level by our parents/family/loved ones/friends, would actually receive such a response? If you're in a dark place in life, with disturbing memories and traumas to relive, chances are your perpetrators will, rather than apologize and "let the healing begin," defend their actions and make excuses for them. My point is, this poorly-chosen, offensive and unsatisfying illustration sets up an unrealistic expectation for the reader, especially for anyone newish to soul work.
Other suggestions for shadow-themed books are Mandala of Being by Moss and Why Good People Do Bad Things by Hollis.
Brilliant.......2007-02-02
I love this book. Thank you Debbie Ford for being the vessel for this important work. You are a brilliant healer.
Anyone looking for guidance on shining light on the darker secrets of their lives will really benefit from "The Secret of the Shadow." If you're in a recovery program of any kind, this book will clarify some of the more difficult steps and ease the emotional discomfort that arises from working them.
What I love most about this book? Debbie Ford's fearless honesty. She shares details about her life that most people on this planet would never own up to while standing in front of their own mirrors. And her exercise on making amends is assigned with the appropriate amount of tough love. "We want to be careful not to approach this task by asking, 'What's the minimum I can do to get off the hook?'" she says. "Instead, we want to look for the action that restores our own integrity within ourselves."
Admittedly, I'm still getting to that point. But I know if Debbie and the people she interviews in her book can do it, I can too. A reassuring read and beautifully written.
Spectacular!.......2007-01-10
This book is amazing! If you lack motivation or direction in your life, you will most definitely find it here. This is one of the best motivational and inspirational books I've read so far. It was so great in fact that I keep it handy so that I can refer to it as often as possible. Read it, you won't regret it!
One of the best books ever.......2005-07-24
i love this book, i'm 26 years old, and i have been doing alot of soul searching, this book has open my eyes about myself, how i am holding myself back because of all the stories i tell myself
I highly recommend this book to you
Disappointed.......2005-07-23
After reading "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers," I expected the same level of insight in this volume. Instead, I found a smorgasbord of various religions that didn't really seem to do justice to any particular one. I realize this book is more self-help and self-discovery oriented, but the spiritual overtones were too strong and too garbled to be of any real help. Ford is a good writer, and she does have some helpful insights on personal care habits, so I give this one two stars.
Book Description
We have seen these children--the shy and the sociable, the cautious and the daring--and wondered what makes one avoid new experience and another avidly pursue it. At the crux of the issue surrounding the contribution of nature to development is the study that Jerome Kagan and his colleagues have been conducting for more than two decades. In The Long Shadow of Temperament, Kagan and Nancy Snidman summarize the results of this unique inquiry into human temperaments, one of the best-known longitudinal studies in developmental psychology. These results reveal how deeply certain fundamental temperamental biases can be preserved over development.
Identifying two extreme temperamental types--inhibited and uninhibited in childhood, and high-reactive and low-reactive in very young babies--Kagan and his colleagues returned to these children as adolescents. Surprisingly, one of the temperaments revealed in infancy predicted a cautious, fearful personality in early childhood and a dour mood in adolescence. The other bias predicted a bold childhood personality and an exuberant, sanguine mood in adolescence. These personalities were matched by different biological properties. In a masterly summary of their wide-ranging exploration, Kagan and Snidman conclude that these two temperaments are the result of inherited biologies probably rooted in the differential excitability of particular brain structures. Though the authors appreciate that temperamental tendencies can be modified by experience, this compelling work--an empirical and conceptual tour-de-force--shows how long the shadow of temperament is cast over psychological development.
Customer Reviews:
Useless.......2007-07-04
The only reason I gave this product one star is because there's no option for no stars at all. Alchemy cannot be explained by psychology or academia. In fact, alchemy and academia, and especially psychology, are completely opposite in their aims and goals. Psychology reinforces ego while alchemy dissolves it. That is why people like this and Jung should be completely ignored; they speak from a basis of clinical, academic opinion and not actual experience obtained by realization. If you, who are reading this, remembers anything from this review then I hope you at least remember that. Save your money and spend it somewhere else on things that are more important.
Synthesis.......2006-11-16
Stanton Marlan has made a needed and deeply satisfying contribution to literature which synthesizes the obscured but major investigations into alchemy, masculine images of power and suffering, abstract and beautiful passages of negative theology. As a psychotherapist,I am profoundly grateful, excited and helped in my work with male clients. What is more basic or universal than experiences which draw on light and dark.
Unusual and mesmerizing.......2005-09-11
The Black Sun is an extraordinary examination of the alchemical stage known as the "nigredo"..the blackening or mortification, so often experienced as depression, terror, or madness. I was especially transfixed at the way in which Dr. Marlan expresses the paradoxical nature of these experiences in that the darkness itself contains a "shine" or luminescence, that is the light of nature, not that of heaven. The text is richly referenced with the writings of Dr. Jung, several case studies, and many other literary examples. This book is an eloquent validation of a domain of experience that is unavoidable, yet so often denied.
Amazon.com
"Our scared and arrogant ego has an enormous capacity not to know itself," says Esalen Institute psychotherapist David Richo. The shadow self, the dark side of the personality, is hidden in the psyche. Others often see it, but we do not. As Jung says, "The shadow is the negative side of the personality, the sum of all those unpleasant qualities we like to hide, together with the insufficiently developed functions and the contents of the personal unconscious....[The shadow] also displays a number of good qualities such as normal instincts, appropriate reactions, realistic insights, creative impulses, etc." Richo has written an enormously useful book in which he introduces the reader to the conscious persona and the subconscious shadow. Unlike other practitioners, he includes conscious but negatively perceived traits in his definition of the dark side, plus undiscovered or unused positive traits. By helping the reader to befriend the shadow self instead of projecting it onto others in dysfunctional or destructive ways, the author performs a profound service, freeing emotional and creative resources through which we can manifest brighter, healthier lives. --P. Randall Cohan
Book Description
Our "shadow" is the collection of negative or undesirable traits we keep hidden—the things we don't like about ourselves or are afraid to admit: egotist, non-"PC" proclivities, forbidden sexual desires. But it also includes our positive, untapped potential—qualities we may admire in others but disavow in ourselves. Befriending the shadow makes fear an ally and enables us to live more authentically. It also automatically improves our interpersonal relationships, because we are freed from the need to project our own negativity onto others, and we become more acutely aware when theirs is projected onto us. David Richo looks for where the shadow manifests in personal life, family interaction, religion, relationship, and the world around is. He shows how to use the gentle practice of mindfulness to work with our shadow side, and he provides numerous exercises for going deeper. He is remarkably skillful at making the shadow concept not only easy to understand, but supremely practical for enhancing the quality of our lives.
Customer Reviews:
One of the BEST books I have ever read !!!.......2006-09-02
This book is excellent. I have read many self-improvement type books; most of them are written well but are superficial, or are deep and insightful, but are not written well at all. This book by Richio is the exception - it is well written AND very deep and insightful. The book is about recognizing the "shadow" element in us, bringing it to light, and then "befriending" it; that is, coming in terms with it and figuring out how to live a purposeful life despite our shortcomings. The perspective of the author is that of a Jungian psychologist with a slight Buddhist tinge. His analysis and explanations of why we act the way we do are right on target and I learned much from reading this book. The author has included several exercises at the end of each chapter, and almost all of them are very good and by going through them I learned many things about myself I did not know. While working through this book I kept a notebook, and wrote down several quotes from the book and wrote out all the exercises; altogether I wrote out about 250 pages! I found it best to go through this book very slowly, and don't rush through the exercises. I HIGHLY recommend this excellent and extremely insightful book, and I am very interested in reading more books by this author. If you are interested in doing your own self examination, buy this book now...you will gain many insights into your self, your hidden self, and the motivations which underlie your day to day behavior.
Great book on applied Jungian theory!.......2004-05-20
This is an excellent book for self-exploration and self-development. It provides a thorough explanation of the concept of the shadow in Jungian theory and introduces us to various practical exercises to explore our own shadow. Though I'm not really a Jungian, this was a very interesting book that gave me lots to think about. If you'd like a more simplistic but nevertheless absolutely excellent explanation of the psyche, try reading "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato. It is an amazing book that explains almost everything you wondered about in a concise and down to earth way! Five stars may not be enough for this one.
Rough start, then it gets going...........2003-07-05
This book is typical of David Richo's work: pretty good. His writing is very very scholarly and intellectual. I often wish he'd step out of his head more often and more frequently share how what he's saying directly can effect me as a person. (For application of work presented here the reader might also want to read Susan Campbell's "Getting Real", as that would give you the skills to own your anger in the moment, for example). As a therapist, I often find that some clients know a lot about whats going wrong, but they need skill building to go along with the insight. He starts applying the shadow material, and the book really gets going, only at about page 150. I felt there was too much background material on how the shadow works, which leaves me afraid to offer this book to a client; Its boring in the beginning. All in all, its a really great expository work on Jungian theory and the Shadow, and he does a great job applying Shadow concepts to real life. I love how he frames projections, and I think this is one of the better works on understanding how projection works in our lives. From a theoretical perspective I learned a lot about the shadow and applications to other cultures and sometimes my own life. After reading this book I felt intellectually overwhelmed, tired, and smarter. Fundamentally a great scholarly work, even though not really a true self-help book.
A bit disappointed.......2001-08-07
While I admire the author's sincerity, I found the writing to be bogged down with righteousness and preachiness. His writing relies more on quotes than speaking from the heart. I thought the exercises were useful and wished there were more of them. I had hoped for a much deeper and more personal exploration into my own Shadow.
A Journey Within!.......2001-05-08
This book was very easy to understand and very clear. . Very helpful in helping understand what we are scared to admit or what we have denied, or just what we don't like about ourselves. It is a voyage into the lowest point of our souls and a manual for that voyage to our own wholeness or personhood. Anyone who is interested in getting at the core of their own darkness can't miss if they read Shadow Dance It is extremely uplifting with several positive ideas and agenda to assist in the renovation of our apparently negative traits and routine into something useful, by showing us the root of goodness within any dark trail within any of us. Having read the book , I am now eager to begin the practices suggested by the author .
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