Book Description
Here is Claudia Black's best-selling classic on the experience and legacy of being raised in an addictive household. In an all too familiar scenario, played out in millions of homes everyday, children who grow up in addictive families abide by certain rules: don't talk, don't trust, don't feel. And they take on rigid survival roles--the responsible child, the adjuster, the placater, the acting-out child--that are youthful coping behaviours which can eventually contribute to problems of depression, loneliness and addiction in adulthood. Using poignant personal stories, revealing explanations, and helpful exercises, Black helps readers gain personal insights and develop new skills that lead to a healthier, happier, more fulfilling life. While continuing to recognize alcohol as the primary addiction within families, this newly revised edition of "It Will Never Happen to Me" broadens concepts to include addictive disorders involving other drugs, money, food, sex and work.
Customer Reviews:
Really good.......2007-05-15
This is a great read for anyone who has grown up or is growing up in an alcoholic family. It helps the reader in very simple ways to understand the dynamics of alcoholic families and offers concrete ways of dealing with issues and problems. I recommend it to anyone currently dealing with alcoholism or dealing with the aftermath of an alcoholic upbringing, or even for someone just curious about the effects of alcoholism on families.
awakening.......2006-01-18
This book was recommended by my therapist and after reading it I gave it to a friend who is also an adult child of an alcoholic. I haven't got the book back so I'm buying another copy for myself. I NEED to read it again and again. It opened my eyes and put a lot of the pieces of the puzzle together for me. Although it's hard to face some of the realities this book points out, I believe it to be one of the vital steps I am taking in trying to change my life for the better. It's never too late.
accurate and helpful.......2005-10-29
claudia black is a respected author in the field of addictions. she writes for adults and children for both alcoholics and their families. i have read many books in this area and she is one of my favorite authors. the book is short, accutate,compassionately written, and forever timely. worth reading!
Excellent Insight into Who I am and Why.......2005-08-07
I read this book AFTER reading ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS by Janet Woititz. Both provided me with insight into a problem I only recently realized I have. However, Black's book is both easier to read and has more detailed analysis. She divides ACoAs into four categories: The Responsible One, The Adjuster, The Placater, and "Acting Out". I fit the profile of Responsible in every way. I now understand myself better, and am beginning therapy for the first time in my life at the age of 55. Thank you, Dr. Black, for opening my eyes!
Great book.......2005-01-28
This book is a must-read for everyone who grew up in an alcoholic family.
Book Description
Whether you're a new believer or simply seeking to strengthen your faith, this study is for you! Learn the essentials to Christian living through in-depth Bible studies and Scripture memorization. Ideal discipleship tool for groups or individuals.
Customer Reviews:
Getting Back to the Basics..........2006-07-13
This book is an awesome review for "old" Christians and an excellent start book for "new" Christians. The devotional focuses on how to study the Bible, have quiet times, and memorize Scripture. I have been a Christian for many years and learned something new from this book in every chapter. I can't wait to go on in the series! You won't regret buying this book!
The best in a discipleship course.......2006-03-30
A great discipleship course in the basics. I took this course myself in 1987 and after that took the leadership training and co-led the course at my church. Currently (2006), I am a volunteer at the local Center for Women's Ministry where I facilitated the class again. From what I've seen, it's the best training out there for a Christian, whether new or old.
Excellent for Both One on One & Small Group Discipleship.......2002-09-20
This is ideal material to use for either one on one discipleship (training) or for a small group. The material is simple and clear to understand, but requires committment of all involved.
There are verses to memorize (only 5 over a ten week period), and Bible studies to complete. The program helps to establish regular Bible reading and a daily quiet time.
This material tackles the biggest issues of the Christian life, like assurance of salvation, Bible study, resisting temptation, prayer, witnessing, and fellowship.
This material should not be confused with a follow up course that teaches a few basics, but is for the believer who is wanting to seriously follow Jesus Christ. It is good stuff!
As a pastor of 23 years, it is what I use.
Great Bible study help if you like structure.......2001-06-26
I just completed this first book in the New 2:7 Series with a group of 10 men. The majority of us have been Christians for 5+ years and were looking for something to help us fill in the gaps left by our own self-directed Bible studies. I believe this book was beneficial for most of us, especially with respect to Scripture memory. Speaking from personal experience, Scripture memory has historically been a bear and a frustrating experience. However, the method utilized in the New 2:7 Series made it easier and actually fun. My only caution of this book is that it is very structured and for some people this may pose a major challenge. If you function well under structured Bible study though, this book would suit your Bible study group well in fostering in your spiritual growth whether you are a young or mature disciple of Jesus.
Good book for Christian groups to work through.......2001-06-13
Navigators has done a good job of putting the fundamentals of growth as a Christian in one book. We use this series to help us bring everyone in our church up to speed on the basics of living the life of a Christian.
The scripture memory sections are very good and the outside sources, included in the text, are excellent additions to the text.
My group is just getting ready to start #2 in the series and we cannot wait to get started
Book Description
As time-tested as it is timely, the expert advice in this book has helped thousands of readers improve on their parenting practices. Now, substantially revised and expanded, Growing Up Again offers further guidance on providing children with the structure and nurturing that are so critical to their healthy development -- and to our own. Jean Illsley Clarke and Connie Dawson provide the information every adult caring for children should know -- about ages and stages of development, ways to nurture our children and ourselves, and tools for personal and family growth. This new edition also addresses the special demands of parenting adopted children and the problem of overindulgence; a recognition and exploration of prenatal life and our final days as unique life stages; new examples of nurturing, structuring, and discounting, as well as concise ways to identify them; help for handling parenting conflicts in blended families, and guidelines on supporting children's spiritual growth. About the Authors: Jean Illsley Clarke is a parent educator, teacher trainer, the author of Self-Esteem: A Family Affair, and co-author of the Help! for Parents series. She is a popular international lecturer and workshop presenter on the topics of self-esteem, parenting, family dynamics, and adult children of alcoholics. Clarke resides in Plymouth, Minnesota. Connie Dawson is a consultant and lecturer who works with adults who work with kids. A former teacher, she trains youth workers to identify and help young people who are at risk. Dawson lives in Evergreen, Colorado.
Customer Reviews:
The best manual on parenting.......2007-04-18
I picked up this book before having our first child thinking I would get some insights into how to raise our daughter. What I found was that the book was really for me. Through it, I learned about how I have some of the same needs as children--needs like recognition, feeling valued, loved for who I am, unconditionally.
What's more,it helped me understand better what my needs really are and how to get them met by myself and from others who love me. Most importantly I learned that in order to parent my daugther the I way I want her to grow up, I needed to parent myself and make sure my actions are congruent with my what I want for her. I strongly recommend this book for anyone who wants to create a solid, loving, nurturing environment for themselves and their children.
What a good book.......2007-01-14
This book is meant for those that need help to see what they are missing in their life and how that relates to how they parent. I like how they have redone the entire book and still kept the same excellent content. This a workbook type study manuel and it is worth getting. So many parents didn't have superior parenting and this helps fill in the gaps without making the parent feel worthless or stupid.
A book everyone should read !.......2006-11-05
I love this book because of the way it teaches parents how to interact with children of all ages. You do not need to be a parent to benefit from this book. As grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends, we all come in contact with children. I did not have this book when I first became a parent but it is never to late to use this information no matter how old you or your children are. I have given this book to new parents as a gift.
Parenting ourselves, Parenting our children.......2006-10-29
This is a user friendly book that really helps change the pattern we grew up with and helps us to become the healthy parent we needed and did not have. I highly recomment it to become aware of ourselves and to heal into healthy individuals.
Definitely Growing Up Again.......2005-09-23
The book zoned in on what I had missed emotionally in my youth. I was able to put a finger on the fact that my life's foundation was based on denial and discounting, a topic that the book touched on a lot.
The chapter on "Ages and Stages" is definitely an eye opener and you can relate a lot of experiences from it.
It's a must read for everyone.
Amazon.com
There Are No Children Here, the true story of brothers Lafeyette and Pharoah Rivers, ages 11 and 9 at the start, brings home the horror of trying to make it in a violence-ridden public housing project. The boys live in a gang-plagued war zone on Chicago's West Side, literally learning how to dodge bullets the way kids in the suburbs learn to chase baseballs. "If I grow up, I'd like to be a bus driver," says Lafeyette at one point. That's if, not when--spoken with the complete innocence of a child. The book's title comes from a comment made by the brothers' mother as she and author Alex Kotlowitz contemplate the challenges of living in such a hostile environment: "There are no children here," she says. "They've seen too much to be children." This book humanizes the problem of inner-city pathology, makes readers care about Lafeyette and Pharoah more than they may expect to, and offers a sliver of hope buried deep within a world of chaos.
Book Description
This is the moving and powerful account of two remarkable boys struggling to survive in Chicago's Henry Horner Homes, a public housing complex disfigured by crime and neglect.
Customer Reviews:
The other America indeed.......2007-09-25
Nice mix of anecdote and historical background on life in inner city America. Excellent insight into the everyday difficulties faced by families and some of the root causes. This book, though almost 20 years old, still has a message that needs to be heard.
a sobering account of the horrendous state of America's impoverished.......2007-07-18
You don't need to look to Africa or the Middle East to find crime and poverty. Millions live in gang-riddled public housing projects, where violence is a fact of life. If these thoughts don't stir your heart, this book will.
impressive work of reserach and great story telling.......2007-04-30
As in his other book, The other side of the River, Alex Kotlowitz proves again what an amazing story teller he is. Kotlowitz spent a couple of years living with and getting to Know Pharaoh and Lafeyette in the Chiacgo housing project, a place where even the police are afraid to go into without back up. The life of these children seems to be written in the stars, everything is planned for them - poverty, delinquency, prison, abuse, drugs and finally death. Regardless of your stand on social (in)equality, wellfare and other government help, it is easy to relate to Kotlowitz' regard for the boys and some of their friends, although most of us are on the "right" side of the law and the more affluent side of society. The poignant story brings to mind the chicken and the egg debate - do people sink into poverty because of inadequate government help or do they have a hand in it? The boys' mother has 8 children, no job and her husband wont provide for them. Why does she continue to have more children? The government built housing for the people, but the housing is substandard, and reinforces the residents' feelings of being left behind, not on society's top priority. Has America given up on these children?
Can't wait for Alex to write an update, 10 years later.
Great Reading.......2007-04-07
I was required to read this book for a class and loved it! The story of these boys was so moving. I would recommend this book to everyone!
You MUST read this book.......2007-01-10
This goes out to everyone living in America today.... you have to read this book. I grew up in a small rural town. My only experience of urban life came from movies and rap music. This book made it plainly clear to me that we are sweeping Americas own problems under a rug. Though I feel strongly for the plight of others all over the world, how can we help them when we haven't spent the time and energy that we need to fix our own backyard? We need to invest in our future and it needs to happen now. This book should be required reading in our schools especially with regards to small town schools. These schools tend to "glamorize" urban life and gangs instead of understanding what they are, a means of survival for our scared youth looking for protection and who don't see another way out nor a future for themselves.
Book Description
Forced to accept drastic changes, make lifestyle–altering decisions, and develop new coping skills, many people going through divorce are left with little hope for the future and even less energy for daily living. Drawing on insights garnered through years of helping people survive divorce, Jim Smoke offers God’s wisdom and step–by–step guidance for anyone experiencing divorce. Topics include:
- committing the situation to God through prayer
- helping children adjust
- seeking legal advice
- income issues
- contemplating remarriage
Discussion questions and a “working guide” section help readers take stock of their situation, handle day–to–day details, and rediscover hope and joy in their lives.
Growing Through Divorce (more than 540,000 copies sold) now has a fresh new cover.
Customer Reviews:
My Copy is Ten Years Old: And I Still Read It!.......2007-03-27
I bought this book shortly after my own divorce; it helped me than and it keeps on helping me! Thank you, Jim Smoke, for such an honest look at the problems and difficulties we face in recovering from this kind of trauma. I have heard that a new edition may be coming out --- if so, that's great, but this edition is still useful to anyone who is divorced. I give this book my highest possible recommendation.
Barbara Sheldon, M.S.W.
Currently reading: Moving Forward After Divorce: Practical Steps to * Healing Your Hurts * Finding Fresh Perspective * Managing Your New Life
A Divorce Classic: Now Revised and Updated.......2007-01-01
This is one of the best divorce-recovery books in print. Originally released in the mid-1990's, the book has sold hundreds of thousands of copies in its original editions --- because the author tracks divorce accurately, and he writes very well.
After more than two decades of learning from divorced adults and post-divorce blended families, Lisa and I highly value the wisdom, insight, and writing ability that Jim Smoke brings to this book. Now revised and updated, the book is even more relevant --- and now it's up-to-date with today's legal climate.
This book will not disappoint you! Clear, readable, practical help.
Dr. David & Lisa Frisbie
The Center for Marriage & Family Studies
Authors of 8 books, including Moving Forward After Divorce: Practical Steps to * Healing Your Hurts * Finding Fresh Perspective * Managing Your New Life
God's Vehicle To Recovery.......2006-09-08
Aloha. I have been using this book for over ten years as a tool in helping people to recover from their brokenness and draw closer to the God. The Lord uses the class, of which I teach using this text "Growing Through Divorce", as a vehicle to draw people to Him. To let them understand how God is more interested in their relationship with Him, then He is about their brokenness. Not that He doesn't care about their despair; through their adversities He brings them closer to Him. Going through the book, praying, reading scriptures and having open and honest communication with the group has helped hundreds of people. They have become stronger in their walk with the Lord Jesus Christ, and a high percentage of them are actively involved in some kind of ministry. Some become leaders within the group and are co-leaders, and attend leadershp classes along with me. The results have been tremendous. People are healthier, happier, stronger-mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually and financially. Yes, people have and continue to "Grow Through Divorce". This book is a "must" for you who are serious about recovering from the devastation of a broken relationship. God Bless You.
Growing Through Divorce is great conversation starter.......2006-01-15
Our HOPE...a ministry for divorced women at church is using "Growing Through Divorce" as a conversation starter for our small group and it is working. The topical chapters are designed to encourage us to start talking in a positive, forward moving direction. The "working guide" at the back of the book offers encouraging Christian reflections that are healing for those of us who are/have experienced the painful divorce process.
an adequate book.......2002-11-03
I found this book useful, but most of the value could be condensed to a shorter text. One thing readers should understand (not evident from the book jacket or the excerpts) is that this book has a very strong emphasis on the Christian faith as it relates to one's experience of divorce. If you look at the other posted reviews, you will see that the greatest value was derived from people who shared this cultural background. As someone of another faith, I found that I skipped over at least 50% of the text because it did not apply to me.
Book Description
Join Donald Miller, the best-selling author of Blue Like Jazz, with mentor John MacMurray, as he presents a transparent, thought-provoking, and humorous chronicle of life lessons found in a life without a Dad.
Customer Reviews:
wonderful!!!.......2007-10-10
This is one of the best books I have ever read! I had just finished Blue Like Jazz and loved it so much I ordered all Donald Millers books. Anyone wanting to understand the meaning of Christianity needs to read these books!It's all about relationship not religion! A must read!
Entertaining, Insightful, Comforting.......2007-09-25
Don Miller has an amazing gift to come across as a not-so-special individual, but his way with words and ability to relate to his audience is anything but un-special.
As the son of a single mom, Miller finds solace in a friend's advice who encourages Don to discover who he is through the eyes of God, not those of society. Miller's vulnerability with his own fears will seem very familiar to most readers of this fantastic book - even those who grew up with both parents.
Readable for ages 12 and up. Primary audience 20-35.
Take the Dragon back.......2007-08-12
If you've done any kind of reading on the topic of fatherlessness or manhood, this book will be a snoozer. In my opinion it brings very little new to the table. The book is decently written including humor and a few interesting points. Many times I felt like the main thrust of the book was cut off by the authors need to tell another self deprecating story with very little depth. While I'm sure this was cathartic for the author, as a reader I felt myself skipping over paragraphs intensely looking for the "meat" of the book.
It appears from the reviews here that this book did have an intended audience who clearly found this it "ground breaking" and "thought provoking". I really found it neither. If you have done quite a bit of reading such as Brennan Manning or John Eldridge, I wouldn't even bother with this book. If you are newer to the topics of rediscovering manhood, this will be a light-hearted introduction.
Book Review: To Own A Dragon.......2007-07-13
In To Own a Dragon, Donald Miller writes to men, and reflects on his experience of growing up without a father. The book is co-authored by John McMurray, a Bible teacher slash photographer slash married father of three from Portland who took a 20-something Donald Miller into his home to show him the workings of a functional family.
His forth consecutive yearly release, Donald Miller continues a form of writing that has made him very popular with Millennial and Y Christians. In his books, Miller seemingly writes with ruthless honesty about himself, to almost a self-deprecating extent. It has sort of become his trademark. Don't expect to read anything by Donald Miller without him criticizing his own physique, intelligence, and/or spiritual shortcomings. He will write that he is immature, that he lies, lusts, drinks, transfers his roommate's laundry from the drier directly onto the basement floor, covets, and that he needs abundant and continual grace. This is a breath of fresh air. In having the courage to reveal himself, Miller manages something other Christian writers can't. He connects with his readers! And whether he is being completely honest, or is just really good at pretending to be honest, it's brilliant.
While authors today strive to adopt a more conversational writing style, Donald Miller takes it to the next level. He somehow convinces readers that he knows them. I, for one, am induced to believe Miller can recall my name, where I live, my favorite food. He probably has my cell phone number. If I ever see him in person, I'll pretty much expect him to recognize me (it's a bit of voodoo to be sure). Moreover, Miller's words are so casual, so unforced, you get the impression that he's writing down his thoughts as they come, or that he's free associating the whole book, or that he's making the whole thing up as he goes along! If you read enough of his writings you'll notice his ideas have a consistent ebb and flow that goes something like: "I'm Donald. I used to think things were like this: [insert ludicrous assertion here], but now I see that they are actually [insert spiritual reflection here]."
In addition, Miller is unique in that he forsakes the status quo of making clear and concise points. He repeats himself, and then he repeats himself again, something I have to give kudos to the editors at Navpress for not destroying. Let me give you an example; here Miller talks about the focus of To Own a Dragon: "...in writing some thoughts about a father, or not having a father, I feel as though I am writing a book about a dragon or troll under a bridge. For me a father is nothing more than a character in a fairy tale. And I know fathers are not like dragons in that fathers actually exist, but I don't remember feeling that a father existed for me." Miller writes the word father six times in two sentences. Six times in two sentences Miller writes the word father (see, it doesn't work when I do it)!
Donald Miller rejects formulaic approaches. There are no 10 steps to recovery from a fatherless childhood. In fact, Miller doesn't really prescribe a path to healing and growth as much as he describes a problematic situation and tells you how he himself handled it, or is still in its midst. Miller writes in the introduction "this book has been healing for me to get on paper. A writer learns more from what he writes than the reader, and often applies the perspectives after the book is written. We're a depraved group in that way. As for the healing, I hope something like my experience in writing this book happens to you in the reading." Hence, Miller doesn't seem to want to preach as much as he wants to share his experience. Other Christian writers should be taking notes.
So, if you're a man and interested in the topic of father absence, or interested in how father absence affects men, read the book (Note: I really don't think the book will be that helpful to women dealing with father absence issues; the experience seems too qualitatively different). If you're not so interested in the topic, Miller's book Blue Like Jazz: Non-religious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality is the bestseller that catalyzed his popularity and it still stands as his best work to date. It's really good. I've read it no less than three times. I've gifted no less than five copies.
One more thing: Miller is not just writing about how father absence affects men, he's doing something about it. Donald is Founder of The Belmont Foundation, a not-for-profit which partners with local churches to create mentoring programs for young men growing up without fathers. You can read more about it at www.belmontfoundation.org
Good Read, But Not Just for the Fatherless.......2007-07-11
Miller's story is sadly all too common today, and his experiences as he learned about the REAL fatherhood God provides are well-written. The book should be helpful to many stuck in sadness, bitterness, or alienation from their lost relationships. However, only 3 stars because he too easily idolizes the role of fathers in human families, and, as a result, there may well be some--fathers and children--who will unnecessarily feel like they have failed by not having achieved the kind of relationship Miller seems to think all fathers who stay in the home will provide. I'm sure there are many with loving, but fallible, fathers who feel some of the same gaps in the guidance and close relationship they wish they could have received.
There are lots of wonderful insights here; just don't get discouraged if your family doesn't quite measure up to what the MacMurrays seem to be.
Book Description
For the first time in ten years, a fully-revised edition of the classic book on how and why we hurry our children into adulthood. With the first two editions of this landmark work, Dr. David Elkind eloquently called our attention to the dangers of exposing our children to overwhelming pressures, pressures that can lead to a wide range of childhood and teenage crises. Internationally recognized as the voice of reason and compassion, Dr. Elkind showed that in blurring the boundaries of what is age appropriate, by expecting-or imposing-too much too soon, we force our kids to grow up far too fast. In the two decades since this groundbreaking book first appeared, we have compounded the problem, inadvertently stepping up the assault on childhood in the media, in schools, and at home. Taking a detailed, up-to-the-minute look at the world of today's children and teens in terms of the Internet, classroom culture, school violence, movies, television, and a growing societal incivility, Dr. Elkind shows a whole new generation of parents where hurrying occurs and why and what we can do about it.
Customer Reviews:
Stressing the point about Stress.......2006-05-02
I read this book a few months back and I'm still not decided on whether I 'loved' this book or not. I did like the book. It provided a lot of information I wasn't aware of, but I'm not sure I really liked the set-up of the book or some of the content. The main focus of this book is basically what hidden aspects of growing up stress a child out, and how that stress affects a childs development. He touches on some of the basic aspects like divorce, and death, but most of the book focus's on things that force a child to grow up too quickly. The main conclusion of every single argument in the book is anything that forces a child to grow up too quickly or puts pressure on a child beyond their natural capabilites is stressful for a child.
The first half of the book is kind of a summary of the second half of the book, which almost makes the first half pointless. The whole time I was reading it I was getting a lot of interesting information/opinions with very little proof of the points he was making. But the authors points and the information he was providing was interesting. The best chapter of the first half of the book is the chapter on Lapware (computerized learning devices). He provided great arguments, and very valid proof to back up his claims. His information would be great to base future lapware studies on. I don't want to blow this chapter for you, but his basic point is that lapware doesn't teach a child anything that he/she doesn't already know.
The second half of this book is extremely well organized, and perfect for parents, or anyone with basic knowledge of child-development. I study child development and I don't know that I've read a better book or text-book that puts Piagets development periods or Erikksons theories into better context than this book does. The way he was able to use those theories in connection with his own research, and other research was excellent. It almost makes me wish this book had a broader range of topic. I could apply the information in this book to pretty much every child I know. If you have a child that shows any self-confidence problems this book will be very helpful to you. There's nothing mentioned in the title or the description about self-confidence, but after reading the book it's easy to see how the demands put on your child affect their confidence.
There is a lot of basic information on various topics from the basic biological reactions of stress, to how schools operate. He makes very compelling arguments against the idea of "early is better" in education. He also provides good evidence in favor of keeping the arts in schools by showing that activities like gym, music, and art help children relieve stress which helps them focus more on academics (in addition to their artistic values).
At times I found some of the information in the book repetitive. He touches on certain subjects like divorce, drugs, and education numerous times. It's all good information, but I would have liked to have read more on media effects and social aspects with other peers than was offered.
Perhaps the best thing about this book is that it provides a good balance between statistical data based research without being so dense it's not readable by an average parent. The writing style is very basic, and his research is based on stats just as much as his own experiences as a therapist. So he backs up any technical data with a personal example to explain it and back it up. It's somewhat of a perfect book for parents looking to understand more about their children, and people looking for an easy book to read with solid research.
Keen Insite.......2005-09-07
Elkind shows a keen insite into the brain of youth. A must read for parents concerned about the progress of their child.
The Hurried Child by Elkind.......2004-02-05
The author cautions against rushing life for young people
and placing too many artificial pressures on them. These
pressures come in the form of standardized tests, overscheduling
and excessive concentration on child competence issues instead
of allowing young people to mature. Children are in essence
miniature adults. In addition, the author cautions against
assembly-line learning. Type A competitive children grow into
adults with more cholesterol in the blood than normal.
On international comparison tests, American students tend to
achieve lower scores despite all the pressure to do well.
Only 1/5 of 17 year olds can write a persuasive essay.
Clearly, the author has some important points to make.
The readers should heed this advice and apply it accordingly.
There is a need for balance in life. In this respect, the author
has some important points to teach college administrators and
parents. A wide constituency of educators needs to read this
book dispassionately and apply it for the benefit of students.
Good book; a little too easy on us parents!.......2003-04-09
In The Hurried Child, Dr. Elkind does a competent job of describing a seriously problematic trend- the increasing inability and even unwillingness to appropriately "cushion" children from the modern world. The message is simple and eloquent: millions of children are simply not experiencing a proper childhood for a multitude of reasons. For some, it may be overcompetitive sports; for others, early sexuality or economic exploitation (children wielding more money and being strongly pursued as a consumer group). But regardless of form, hurrying leaves children trying to deal with adult concerns. While such kids may seem sophisticated, the deeper reality is that they are still children. This false maturation interferes with real maturation, and leads to problems in adolescence and adulthood.
Dr. Elkind gives this book more popular appeal by making his case gently- there are no "Dr. Laura" type challenges here. But if the reader will think through the implications of this book, it is clear that children are being "hurried" because parents aren't making the kinds of choices necessary for a fulfilling and protective family life. Instead, they pursue personal, material and status-oriented goods, very often to the detriment of the family. This is not because they don't care for their kids, but because our culture is so steeped in radical individualism and materialism that the very idea of what a family is supposed to be is lost. It is no surprise that the children suffer as a result, in terms of both emotional and character development.
I would propose a more profound solution than the "moderation" one to be found in this book. The cult of the individual needs to be overthrown. Parents should never make family-altering choices based solely on personal desires; the good of the children and the family unit as a whole should strongly influence what each member does. In addition, the excessive emphasis on "achieving independence" in childhood should be balanced with a recognition that all children need to be nurtured according to their stage of development. Children are not ready to be "individuals" in the adult sense of the term, which is why they are so easily influenced by peers, advertisers and celebrities. A strong, loving and non-hurrying family is a far more healthy source of influence than such factors. The more parents recognize and act upon these realities, the less kids will be "hurried", and the more they will be "trained up in the way they should go."
How many more pages??.......2002-08-22
While Dr. David Elkind is a respected name in the Child Psychology arena, I found that anything of value or knowledge that he presented in The Hurried Child is merely common sense. It scares me to think that there are actually people out in this world, reproducing, who need to read this book.
Dr. Elkind expressed some valid points on the general "rush of society" - our tendency to saddle our children with competition in the adult world, but nothing that needed 221 pages of interpretation. Dr. Elkind takes an extremist position on his point of view throughout the book. Despite the books' attempts at valuable lessons, they are dissected into such meaningless pieces that any cohesive lesson is lost. The reality is we are living in a rapidly changing society, and individuals need to do their best to strive at an individual pace to attain what they perceive as success.
Book Description
June was 9 years old when she came home from school and her schizophrenic mother met her at the door, angrily demanding to know, "Who the hell are you? What are you doing in my house?" In another family, Tess repeatedly saw her mother wait outside church then scream at family friends as the emerged, accusing them of spying on and plotting to kill her. Five-year-old Tess and her 7-year-old brother would just cry, begging their mother to take them home as onlookers stared. These are just two of the stories gathered for this book as psychotherapist Nathiel conducted interviews. The children, now adults, grew up with mentally ill mothers at a time when mental illness was even more stigmatizing than it is today. They are what Nathiel calls "the daughters of madness," and their young lives were lived on shaky ground. "Telling someone that there's mental illness in your family, and watching the reaction is not for the faint-hearted," the therapist says, quoting another's research. But, she adds, "Telling them that it is your mother who is mentally ill certainly ups the ante." A veteran therapist with 35 years experience, Nathiel takes us into this traumatic world--with each of her chapters covering a major developmental period for the daughter of a mentally ill mother--and then explains how these now-adult daughters faced and coped with mental illness in their mothers. While the stories of these daughters are central to the book, Nathiel also offers her professional insights into exactly how maternal impairment affects infants, children, and adolescents. Women, significantly more than men, are often diagnosed with serious mental illness after they become parents. So what effect does a mentally ill mother have on a growing child, teenager or adult daughter, who looks to her not only for the deepest and most abiding love, but also a sense of what the world is all about? Nathiel also makes accessible the latest research on interpersonal neurobiology, attachment, and the way a child's brain and mind develop in the contest of that relationship. Some of the major topics addressed include: BLFeelings of guilt in the child - Is it my fault? BLKeeping the secret BLRole reversal - when child acts as parent BLFear of the same fate BLBuilding resilience and accepting help BLInsights from daughters of mothers who were schizophrenic, psychotic, severely depressed, paranoid, and personality-disordered.
Book Description
Marital Bliss?'My wife is a nag!' 'My husband thinks I'm his slave!'We just don't love each other anymore.'Common phrases in an all too common world of marital failure. We hear them everyday from our co-workers, our friends, and even ourselves. The separation and divorce rate among Christian couples continues to rise while thousands of other Christian couples continue to live together in something far less than the 'abundant life' that Jesus promised. Is your marriage turning out differently than you expected? Are all of today's alarming statistics making you wary of ever getting married? Well you are not alone. In Toward a Growing Marriage, Dr. Chapman offers the hope you've been looking for. The author of the best-selling book The Five Love Languages, will help you get your marriage off to a good start or back on the right track with advice that is both biblical and practical. Part of the problem, according to Dr. Chapman, is that too many times our churches have focused on the negative biblical directives when teaching about marriage. We need to know more than to not marry a non-believer and to save sex for marriage. We need to know how to succeed. Toward a Growing Marriage is divided into two sections in order to help two different audiences succeed: those who are in the process of finding a spouse who will be a 'fitting' or 'suitable' marriage partner those who have already said 'I do' and are trying to fulfill that commitmentMarital happiness is not automatic, but the practical application of Dr. Chapman's helpful information will put couples well on their way to successful and fulfilling marriages.
Customer Reviews:
An excellent resource!.......2005-08-27
This book is great for couples who want to improve their marriage and even for singles who need direction on choosing a mate. The material helps couples learn better communication skills and work on problem solving and decision making. All of Chapman's material is based on sound biblical teaching and is great for small groups!
Good tools for the married and unmarried.......2005-01-03
A great annoyance that I had with the beginning of this book was the concept of "ministry dating", a Christian dating a non-Christian. Chapman points to 2 Corinthians 6:14 as a reason that marrying is not a good idea. He also said that there is a lack of commitment in a Christian/non-Christian relationship. Honestly, the whole thing could backfire and the "unsaved" may be very jaded toward religion if the relationship does not work out. Also, the Christian may be drawn into sin by the non-Christian, after all, sin loves company (see Genesis 3).
I still think that this book is worthy of a 4 star rating. There is a lot of practical advice with Biblical back-up. It has really caused me to re-think the role of a wife, but at the same time, it doesn't say that the wife is inferior to the husband, she is his partner, his teammate.
The sections of the book that I think I learned the most from where the chapters on sex and money. Both have been perverted by modern day society. Chapman gives practical and Biblical advice in this area.
The chapter dealing with in-laws was very eye-opening. I never really considered "Honor thy father and thy mother" when thinking about in-laws. However, it does make sense that if you are talking bad about your MIL, you may cause your husband to dishonor his mother.
"Who Will Clean the Commode?" - I didn't really give a lot of thought to the duties that each marriage partner would perform, whether it be cleaning the toilet, or paying the bills. I just thought that those things would work themselves out, and perhaps they might have. However, a much better solution would be to assign responsibilities before marriage so each partner knows what the other expects of them.
One of the great things about this book is that the "Growth Assignments" at the end of each chapter offer a section for the married and the unmarried. I thought this was very helpful.
The last chapter had a couple of annoying spelling errors (I am an editor, I pick up that kind of thing), but not so many that it makes the text difficult to read or understand.
Discovering the True Heart through Communication.......2001-03-09
My husband and I have been married for 9 years and had to read this book for an assignment in our training at Rhema Bible Training Center. My husband began to read his book first and would constantly ask me "When are you going to read your book?" To be honest, at first I thought I did not need this book BUT NOW I wish I read it before discussing marriage. This book brings out issues that my husband and I after 6 yrs of dating and a year and a half engagement plus nine years of marriage have never thought to discuss. These vary issues were building blocks that formed an invisible wall we could not see each other over. We had valuable parts of our lives that were effecting us that we were not sharing with one another because we did not know quit what they were or even how to communicate them. I am so thankful for the open communication we gained through this valuable tool. We both kept telling each other, "If we had read this book before marriage we would have saved much heartache and frustration." GLORY! The invisible wall is down and communication has entered such a more intimate and spiritually awakened level. This book is a MUST READ before even getting serious in dating! It helps you to look deep in yourself and see your heart and motives in a relationship as well as what you have to offer to someone else. Before getting engaged, I believe to be 100% effective both people should read and do the assignments in the book. BUT if like my husband and I you did not read this book and had limited communication THIS BOOK is the tool you need to help open you both to a new level of understanding and relating to one another. This book was our highway to a path we had never traveled with one another. I am very thankful this book is available and pray that everyone learns from it. A Happy Healthy relationship is worth everything you put in to it! This book is worth reviewing every 6 months and is fast and easy understanding with wonderful Assignments to encourage open two way bridge of communication that leads you both on the same path to a Loving Relationship of your dreams! Be blessed and encouraged. This book is a gentle tool to open doors to rooms and closets that you did not even know you housed. What a wonderful way to explore your own heart and motives as well as discuss those of your love one.
Great read for married or engaged couples.......2000-07-28
My wife and I read this book before we got married. It explains how to use Christian principals to relate to marital issues. How to always approach your mate in charity and always resolve situations in the spirit of love and not anger. It gives accounts of how this philosophy has played a role in many marraiges.
While this book is good,we enjoyed Dr. Chapman's other book, The Five Love Languages much better.
Book Description
The classic guide to understanding children’s mental development is now updated and better than ever!
Hailed by parents and educators, Your Child’s Growing Mind is a window into the fascinating process of brain development and learning. It looks at the roots of emotion, intelligence, and creativity, translating the most current scientific research into practical suggestions for parents and teachers.
Dr. Healy also addresses academic learning, offering countless suggestions for how parents can help without pushing. She explains the building blocks of reading, writing, spelling, and mathematics and shows how to help youngsters of all ages develop motivation, attention, critical thinking, and problem-solving skills.
Using the science of childhood development, she also examines today’s hot issues, including learning disabilities, ADHD, influences of electronic media, and the hazards of forced early learning. From infancy to adolescence, this is the perfect guide to helping and enjoying a youngster’s mental, personal, and academic growth.
Customer Reviews:
Essential reading for parents of young children.......2007-09-07
This literally spells out what's going on in those little brains. Full of great advice on parenting and supporting young learners--and letting your child show YOU how they need to learn. I wish there'd been a bit more about the developing adolescent brain. You can't start reading this book too early.
If You Have Children, You Must Read This Book.......2006-02-24
I appreciated the valuable information about brain development, how children learn, how we can help them, what real education and learning are all about, and the things we do that hinder brain development.
I assigned it to my teens for part of the homeschooling program, and they enjoyed it so much they recommend it to friends, too.
Jane Healy writes well, and she makes a lot of sense. Reading this book also helped us understand why one of our children has some of the learning issues she has. I just can't recommend it highly enough.
IT IS A MUST READ!!!.......2005-07-16
THIS IS A GREAT BOOK. All my childhood development classes requires me to read this. I WOULD HAVE TOTALLY AGREE WITH MY PROFs. PARENTS, TEACHER, and anyone who have to interact with children must get this book. READ THIS & YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT!
A Classic for Parents and Teachers.......2005-05-27
I am the proud author of this new edition of Your Child's Growing Mind, which is completely revised and updated with all the newest brain research and the applications for teaching and parenting. I am only sorry that Amazon has not included all the fantastic reader comments that accompanied the book before the new edition came out--it is still the same great resource. Enjoy!
Books:
- Layout Index: Brochure, Web Design, Poster, Flyer, Advertising, Page Layout, Newsletter, Stationery Index
- Let's Face It: 90 Years of Living, Loving, and Learning
- Life : A Complete Operating Manual : The Secret to Life Unveiled : Who You Really Are, How Life Really Operates, and How to Unleash the Incredible Power Within!
- Love, Medicine and Miracles: Lessons Learned about Self-Healing from a Surgeon's Experience with Exceptional Patients
- Mastering the Trade (McGraw-Hill Trader's Edge)
- My Book About Me
- Never Be Lied to Again: How to Get the Truth In 5 Minutes Or Less In Any Conversation Or Situation
- New Age Bible Versions: An Exhaustive Documentation of the Message, Men & Manuscripts Moving Mankind to the Antichrist's One World Religion
- On Becoming Baby Wise: Book II (Parenting Your Pretoddler Five to Fifteen Months)
- On Rope: North American Vertical Rope Techniques for Caving ... Rappellers
Books Index
Books Home
Recommended Books
- History: Fiction or Science
- American Exceptionalism: A Double-Edged Sword
- Photoinitiated Polymerization
- The Last September
- The Ordeal of the Longhouse: The Peoples of the Iroquois League in the Era of European Colonization
- American Horticultural Society Pests and Diseases: The Complete Guide to Preventing, Identifying and
- Truth & Beauty: A Friendship
- Soulful Knitting: Gifts for the Soul, from the Soul
- Stan Douglas: Every Building on 100 West Hastings
- Diary of Desert Storm's Combat Gynecologist
Adult Children of Alcoholics
| Recovery
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
Adult Children of Alcoholics
Changing Course: Healing from Loss, Abandonment and Fear
Struggle for Intimacy (Adult Children of Alcoholics series)
Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics
Perfect Daughters (Revised Edition)
