Book Description
This is the world-renowned, inspiring, practical program for women who believe that being in love means being in pain. Based on the multi-million-copy bestseller, Women Who Love Too Much presents a clear, comprehensive, 10-point recovery plan for women who are addicted to the wrong men for the wrong reasons. Among the vital lessons you will learn in this program are: How the search for the love you never got from your parents can become a crushing obsession in adulthood. How to change from loving someone so much it hurts, to loving yourself enough to stop the pain. How to free yourself from destructive loving and build a healthy, meaningful relationship. This step-by-step self-awareness program offers help, understanding and, above all, hope -- the pathway to making love the truly happy event it is supposed to be.
Customer Reviews:
Great Advice!.......2007-09-06
This is GREAT BOOK! Another new bestseller which I love and recommend - How to be a Super Hot Woman: 339 Tips to Make Every Man Fall in Love with You and Every Woman Envy You
'Love' in quotes........2007-09-04
For any woman, or for that matter man, who has experienced personally or vicariously the agony of being held in thrall to painful relationships, this book is essential. The author presents numerous examples from her clinical practice of women whose lives have spiraled into painful despair, and while our familiarity with what we read can encourage us, the author's unflinching look into every woman's complicity is not for the faint of heart. This is not 'love' but degrading self-torture. I urge you, if you are such a woman, if you know such a woman, get this book and get reading.
Insightful.......2007-08-07
When this book first came out I read it and it opened my eyes. I then went into private and group therapy for about 4months and then just group therapy for being an adult child of an alcoholic. It was something I wished I had done earlier. The cost of therapy after my covrage changed and new responsibilites ended my therapy after around 7 months. I had a great therapist. The author really explains the dynamics of how our relationships develop very well. I've read both of her books. In the second one " Letter's from Women Who Love Too Much" ( it also includes letters from men)she points out how peer therapy seems the most effective form of therapy for such issues. She had stopped doing private therapy at that point. A worthwhile book.
Thank you, thank you...........2007-08-04
I have to honestly say, when it comes to this book, it is like the Bible in my life on relationships. I was sexually abused as a teen and my mother was an alcoholic/drug abuser, and my father was a philanderer, resulting in my parents' divorce when I was 11. I loved my father dearly but it seemed as I got into adulthood I would seek out partners, subconsiously, who were like my father, resulting in immense pain for me. I am the oldest of my parents' 3 children so you can imagine how much responsibility was on me when my mother was absent. I have had this book for 5 years now and it has helped me to gain strength to become emotionally free of my ex, who hurt me repeatedly over the years because without realizing it, I LET him. I have recently let go of a narcissist who deeply wounded me after I found out about his lies, manipulation, and cheating. I have learned, though this book, that I have to love myself more and recognize the self-defeating behaviors I displayed that allowed these men to hurt me. I would rather be alone and wait patiently for the right man to love me in the manner I deserved to be loved, than to put up with unacceptable behavior from emotionally disturbed men. I realized that I needed to change in order to stop the pain, not them. Self absorbed, selfish men are incaple of change because they are incapable of empathy, remorse, or even love. Thank you, thank you Robin for writing such a inspirational, helpful book!
A Great discovery.......2007-07-30
This book leads the reader to discover how unhealthy some behavioral patterns are and also the way they can be change.
Book Description
Is it impossible to let go — despite the pain?
• Do you yearn for someone who is not physically or emotionally available to you?
• Do you believe that if you love him enough he will have to love you?
• When you feel insecure, does it drive you only to want her more?
• Do you find yourself phoning repeatedly or waiting long hours for the phone to ring?
Do you wish someone would let go of you?
• Does an ex-lover or ex-spouse refuse to believe that it’s over?
• Do you receive unwanted phone calls, letters, presents, or visits?
• Is this pursuit of you creating so much anxiety that it affects your physical or emotional well-being?
In this invaluable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward presents vivid case histories as well as the real-life voices of men and women caught in the grip of obsessive passion.
Whether you’re an obsessive lover or the target of such an obsession, here is a proven, step-by-step program that shows you how to recognize the “connection compulsion,” what causes it, and how to break its hold on your life so that you can go on to build healthy, lasting, and pain-free relationships.
Customer Reviews:
obssesive relationships.......2007-08-17
This is the best book that truly spoke to obsessive lovers. I had a hard time putting the book down becuase I related to so many of the people inside. Finally, someone has written a book for both women and men about obsessive, addictive relationships. I feel like I have new insight into problem and can start making positive changes in my life. Excellent book for anyone caught up in another person.
Get over that "one magic person".......2007-07-14
I hate those reviewers who write, "this book changed my life," but this book saved my life. I was able to quit a very toxic relationship after 3 years while reading this book. The exercises really help because it's so eye opening to finally see on paper our unhealthy patterns and behaviors. Her section that explains the difference between feelings and thoughts is very enlightening since most of us seem to confuse the two in our communications (saying, "I felt like the movie was kind of slow," when we really mean, "I think this movie is slow, and I feel bored, restless.") This book can really help you get your life back in balance when you think you just can't live without that one magic person.
An encouragement, but not a one-size-fits-all cure.......2007-01-29
I have struggled three times with "obsessive love," and am now struggling a fourth time. When I first saw this book, I was encouraged to know that I'm not alone, and that I have a documented psychological condition with documented remedies. Unfortunately, however, I was expecting too much, and was disappointed. There is no easy one-size-fits-all solution, and I was left with more questions than answers at the end of the book.
Based on the cover, you would imagine that most of this book would be devoted to practical advice for obsessive lovers. Not so. The first section (pages 1-106) is just a symptomatic description of the problem, illustrated with numerous stories from Dr Forward's clients. She starts with an outline of the emotional process in an obsessive lover's mind - the constant fear of rejection, and ultimate denial of rejection, leading to a totally unrealistic view of the relationship. The chapter is padded with more examples than it needs, but it gets the point across: if you're an obsessive lover, you will now be in no doubt about it. In the following chapters, she goes on to talk about progressive levels of obsessive behavior: frequent phone calls, unwanted gifts, stalking, anger, revenge and ultimately murder (!). I lost the thread right at the beginning of this list. Obsessive behavior for me means pacing around my apartment, sleeping all day, bad eating habits, distraction from work, but never any obvious personal harrassment.
I plowed on, skipping through some of the bizarre and irrelevant stories, mildly encouraged that things could be a lot worse. The second section (pages 107-168) deals with obsessive love from the target's point of view: how to free yourself from an obsessive lover. That's probably useful information if you're in that situation, but not if you're the obsessor, as is probably the case for most readers.
Next we have a chapter about the possible root causes of obsessive love, namely bad experiences during childhood (pages 169-193). Dr Forward suggests that most obsessive lovers have suffered rejection by parents, peers or early lovers, and that our adult lovers are an emotional substitute. Interesting theory, but does it help? Not really.
Finally, in pages 194-278, we reach the meat of the book. A practical guide to overcoming obsessive love. Dr Forward leads you through a step-by-step process of identifying destructive triggers and behaviors in our lives, and systematically making more constructive choices. Part of the therapy involves a two-week "emotional vacation" away from your lover, with absolutely no contact permitted. The system sounds sensible, if you have the discipline to go through with it - though some aspects are embarrassingly silly (sticking little STOP signs all over your house!). I think it would be difficult to apply without human accountablility.
My biggest complaint, speaking personally, is that this book makes too many assumptions about your situation. In most of the cases where I've become obsessed, I have not been outright rejected. My "targets" wanted to remain as close platonic friends after the casual romance ended, since we had already been friends before dating. They didn't understand, or even realize, that I was going through agony with the friendship. In two cases, the situation was left open-ended, i.e. "I can't handle a serious relationship right now; let's just be friends, and see where we end up when our lives are less chaotic," etc. All of Dr Forward's examples deal with more explosive break-ups or cheating partners, and not with nice friends who just don't want a serious relationship. How do you separate yourself from a friend who doesn't even know you're obsessed, when THEY are the ones initiating all the contact? I have other friends who have suffered in similar ways, but Dr Forward has nothing to say on this scenario. She also doesn't deal adequately with "passive obsessors" - people who act out their obsession by withdrawing themselves from the world, instead of phoning, stalking, etc. Forcing yourself NOT to do something is a tangible objective - but when your obsession drains away all your energy, and all you can do is sleep or stare at the wall, this surely requires a different sort of therapy. Some of her ideas may help in this case (eradicating sensual triggers, increasing physical exercise, etc), but depression itself will still be a hard thing to overcome without professional help.
Why good relationships end........2006-05-04
After I had 3 long term relationships end. I decided to look for help. A counselor recommended I read Susan's book. Wow what an eye opening experience. Many of the situations she outlines in the book parallel my relationships. It helped me take a fresh look at the way I think about love and relationships. It doesn't take too long to read and has totally changed my life. If you think your obsessing you should read this book. And start enjoying fun and healthy relationships instead of poisoning your life.
This book is for everybody. Get it........2006-04-15
This book is for everybody. Everybody has had the experience of not wanting to let go, or letting go and finding it extremely painful. Hardly anybody does the strange things Forward describes her clients doing, but the insights she offers on how to deal with one's feelings speak to the universal human experience. I decided to write off "relationships" years ago, but reading this book was just the thing to find closure and put an end to that part of my life permanently. Whether you are writing off one "relationship" or writing off all "relationships" the way I did, Forward can help you and how.
The book could benefit from a good editor. I was not at all interested in reading about her weird clients, which took up at least half the book, and some of them are really major league weird. But after a few pages you learn to "zap" that part the same way you "zap" commercials on your VCR. Her comments on why people find "relationships" so painful and ultimately not worth bothering with and where those feelings originate and how to get rid of them are pure gold and well worth reading. I cannot recommend a better resource.
Also, readers who have heard Forward on the radio should know that the book is not at all obnoxious, despite the way she comes across in her show. Whoever wrote this book (Forward or an uncredited ghost) strikes you as someone you would feel very comfortable turning to for advice.
Get it. You will be glad you did.
Customer Reviews:
Excellent source in assisting in recovery .......2007-05-25
I have read women who love too much and am currently in recovery and that book along with this one that I just purchased has had an amazing impact on my life. It is truly a blessing that this material is available to women.
I'm sure its not as corny as it seemed to me, meditating on this.......2005-07-05
I loved the original book (I also reviewed it) and I needed so much help to get out of "love too much" pattern with my ex husband. So I got this book. Daily meditations are indeed in line with all learned in the book, they are sort of daily reminders of all the little things we did wrong and all the things we need to change about US, but actually meditating on these, reading one per day seemed so corny. So I flipped thru it randomly and read several at one time until I would get tired, and then come back to it some other time. It might have worked better if I used it as prescribed, but I was too screwed up at the time. Unfortunately. For closing, here is one of my favorites: "We are certain that if we show someone how much we love him, no matter how he treats us, he will change. What we are really showing him is that it is safe for him to remain the same". Boy, was I champion of this particular mistake!
Highly recommended.......2003-08-09
I've given/recommended this book to several off my friends and family members. It's genuinely helpful and doesn't toss in the clinical bullcrap that comes along with "selfhelp" books.
Co-dependent no more.......2001-11-07
A very painful divorce and a subsequent tumultuous relationship forced me to face issues I had never faced from my childhood. I read book after book and there were many that helped to uncover what was underneath the behaviors I had developed. But of all the books, I consider this meditation book for Women Who Love Too Much to be my handbook for survival and true change. Whenever I feel myself slipping, I pick up the book and read it from cover to cover. I have many pages dog-eared that are particularly appropriate. I can't recommend it enough.
Fantastic.......2001-06-06
I loved reading this book daily. Some meditations did not "really apply" for my situation but they made me think. It made me realize a lot of things, and I even used some thoughts as quotes that I sent to friends via email. I must say that it is a little book with a lot of wisdom.
Book Description
Children, like trees, need a little space to grow. So, why do we as parents hinder the development of our children by being overly protective, indulgent, and assertive with them?
When Parents Love Too Much explores the all-to-common problems of over-protection, guilt, low self-esteem, and family conflict which spring from excessive parental attachment. The authors skillfully show how children, smothered by well-intentioned parents, can become adults who remain dependent on their parents, struggle to establish a sense of self, have difficulty making decisions, and often find their personal and intimate relationships disappointing.
Authors Ashner and Meyerson write to help not only parents who "love too much" and can't let go of their children, but also to adults who suffer from the consequences of their parents' unhealthy dependence. This book offers solutions and hope for those of us who need to learn to detach with love.
About the Authors:
Laurie Ashner is a writer, certified educational therapist, psychotherapist, and columnist for Chicago Life magazine. She has appeared on numerous national radio and television programs.
Mitch Meyerson is a licensed psychotherapist and an expert in the treatment of dysfunctional relationships and impaired self-esteem. He frequently lectures and conducts seminars on personal growth.
Ashner and Meyerson are also co-authors of the book When is Enough, Enough?
"This is an important book. It definitely touched some of my parenting issues."
--John Bradshaw, author of Creative Love, Homecoming, and Healing the Shame that Binds You.
Customer Reviews:
Thought provoking and insightful.......2007-06-08
This book was recommended to me by a close friend. I am recently engaged and have been having trouble with my mother since my fiance and I have began our relationship. Because I am an only child and am estranged from my extended family, I felt that me upcoming nuptials would be a time to rejoice and begin a new chapter in my life of merging two families together. Needless to say, the opposite occured and I was often left wondering why there is this tremendous strain between my mother and I. Why is it that I am so sad during the happiest time of my life? While reading this book, I felt like it dug deep into my childhood and pinpointed all of the important events that ultimately shaped me as an adut. At times, I felt like it was written especially for me! I focused on how controlling parents can run your life so much that their concerns become your own with realizing it. I discovered that my self-criticism is a result of my parental relationship and I began to feel vindicated and free. This is a great book if you want to dig in deep into the reasons why your parents became who they are and what you became as a result of it as well.
An Emotional Lifesaver When I Was Going Through Rough Times!.......2004-12-31
Mitch and Laurie have compassionately written about a phenomenon that is not often talked about - one where parents desperately love and cling to their children, to the point of emotionally smothering them.
When Parents Love Too Much was a critical read in my own life that helped me see the insanity of the relationship with my mother. Not only did Mitch and Laurie pinpoint exactly what I was going through, through this book they challenged me to rethink my role as a daughter and ultimately as a parent myself.
This book touched on many issues I faced as the child of a parent who loved too much and gave answers to the underlying questions and concerns that I had. More importantly, I found specific strategies to help me disentangle myself from the emotional bondage.
When Parents Love Too Much provides a thorough look into the lives of both parent and child caught in "over-loving." Without blaming either party, this book helped me regain confidence and belief in myself. It was a tremendous help to me and continues to be a book I refer back to.
Poorly written, repetitive.......2004-03-29
Too bad that this is the one book out there on a very important topic. The authors repeat themselves, contradict themselves, and blow up the material--enough for a good article--into a fat book. That said, the book can be helpful. Just be prepared to skim through. You really don't need to read the same few ideas over, and over, and over, and over again.
Boy! Could I relate!.......2002-01-18
I bought this book because I was getting way too stressed about disappointments in my children's lives. Objectively I knew that through a little pain comes growth, but I still couldn't stop my almost physical pain when my kids encountered failure. I just wanted to rush in, take away the pain, and save them. I knew this was wrong, but I needed to better understand why I was thinking this way before I could change.
When I read this book, I clearly saw what was going on. I also saw the beginnings of signs in my kids that I was "over parenting" them. I also saw and understood alot of what was going on in my friend's families (they are all now reading this).
The info is not EARTH shaking, but it is illuminating. the book is easy to read, but I wish there had been more about how to change your parenting skills. (really only one or two chapters on this, the rest is examples of loving too much and the effect it has on the kids, and the kids in their adulthood).
Book Description
8" x 8" Paperback Book; 128 pages (glossy stock). Features over 50 large, full color, humorous illustrations depicting the various ways that Dog Codependents indulge their pets. The book includes dozens of hilarious real letters and true life testimonials from Dog Codependents who have written to us over the years. Includes amusing chapters on symptoms, causes, consequences of, living with, and coping with Dog Codependency. The therapeutic value of this 'spoof' on self-help books is that people will laugh at themselves!
Customer Reviews:
Lot's of fun!.......2007-03-18
Every dog lover will identify with this book. Dog Codependents is humorous, but full of truisms. Planet Hueneme
FIVE PAWS!!!.......2003-08-20
Attention all dog lovers: you must get this book just for the illustrations!
The cover says it all! Buy only if you are a TRUE DOG CO-DEPENDENT.
Woof.
This book is so funny..and so true.......2003-03-04
I thought no one else could describe the way they love their dogs like I do..but I was wrong :-). This book had me laughing cause it reminded me of how bad my husband and I spoil our 'kids'. They have their own 'pup' shower, pillows, you get the idea. For those who love their pups, this book is definitely worthwhile. We give it a two 'paws' up!
A Dog Lovers Must.......2002-06-17
This book is hysterical. If you are a dog lover and will do almost anything for your pooch this book will make you laugh. It is almost embarrassing to see yourself in many of the pages. I have given this to other dog lovers as a gift and it is always enjoyed. The cartoon illustrations are fantastic.
Crazy over dog!.......1999-11-30
This is really happened! Only you love your dog too much and you will do crazy things! U just wanna laugh over the incident because, thing book share the joy and you feel that you are not the only one who do crazy things for dog. It not crazy but certainly NORMAL! Enjoy and be happy to have a dog to lighten up your life!
Book Description
Can Parents Really Love Too Much?
"I love my child, and he knows it. So why is he disrespectful to me?" Raising a child in today's world isn't easy. Parents are so pressured by work and other responsibilities that feelings of guilt overwhelm them, and in an effort to show their deep and abiding love for their children, they overcompensate. As a result, their children demand more and respect them less. Does this sound familiar?
In this groundbreaking book,
Jane Nelsen and
Cheryl Erwin show you how to change the relationship with your child from one of guilt and manipulation to one of honesty and cooperation. It may sound hard to do, but it's not—if you know how. Inside, you'll find specific actions, techniques, and attitudes that will help you:
·Give children what they need instead of what they want
·Learn to encourage and nurture without overindulging, overprotecting, or overcontrolling
·Raise a self-reliant, respectful, and capable child
·And much more!
"Thoughtful and practical, Nelsen and Erwin's detailed advice will help parents ensure that their loving wish to raise self-reliant and resilient children comes true."
—Richard Bromfield, Ph.D., Harvard Medical School, author, Handle with Care: Understanding Children and Teachers
"One of the ironies of parenting is that unwise love can harm children. This book will help you apply your love more intelligently and beneficially."
—Richard Eyre, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Teaching Your Children Values
Customer Reviews:
Factual Mistakes. . ........2006-11-17
Via Amazon and Google manuscript searches, I stumbled upon this book.
In referring to other resources, this book misspelled the names of two authors. While typos do occur, I was really surprised to see two obvious mistakes right in a row. It really has me doubting the credibility of tha authors.
An eye-opening book!.......2001-01-12
This book challenges all that you thought you learned about parenting from your childhood. In my constant research on parenting (I have a precocious two year old), I found that this book hit upon many of the issues I have been struggling with. It emphasizes how short-term fixes can create long-term problems. It demonstrates how things that parents do out of love for their children can hurt them in the long run, like bailing out of problems, protecting from mistakes and controlling what they see, do and think. It talks about guilt, worry and introspection. It was a revelation for me because some of the behaviors I thought made me a great mom could actually cause coping problems in the long-term.
The ideas are presented in a realistic, sympathetic way by the authors. They constantly remind the reader that perfect parenting is not possible, but keeping their concepts in mind will help your children in the long run. They also remind the reader that parenting is not comfortable. If you are comfortable all the time, you are probably loving too much and causing long term issues for your kids.
I highly recommed this book as a different point of view on what a good parent really is. It makes you think, it makes you work hard, and it can make a difference.
Customer Reviews:
Can't Love This BOOK Too Much!.......2007-07-04
This author is fantastic. He not only writes well, but he knows his subjects well, and really helps people through his fantastic books. Highly recommend it for the people it may relate too.
Customer Reviews:
Makes a great gift.......2004-11-29
This quick-read makes a perfect gift for the woman who really does love cats too much -- like me. It is thoughtful and it delivers a chuckle on every page, and the illustrations are cute. A lot of the points made in the book will really hit home for cat lovers.
A must read for all Cat lovers!.......2002-08-12
This book was HILARIOUS>^..^
< I am an admitted Cat-aholic so I could totally relate to this book. Especailly since I spent 3 hours putting a perch together for them yesterday before I read the book:-) Nothing is too good for my furrbabies!
Hi. My name is Kathy, and I'm a Cat-oholic..........2001-02-20
As I sit here in the middle of the night typing this, my cat sits on my lap as she purrs away and I hit the keyboard while my elbows are uncomfortably extended out straight...of course I won't bend them...I wouldn't want to disturb my baby. She's comfortable. Thank you Allia for letting me know that there are others out there and I am not alone. At last, group therapy may be available!!!
If your wallet contains a photo of your cat or perhaps if the feline decides what's for dinner tonight, then get this little book. You will laugh and laugh. The full-color illustrations are funny as they depict you and I too well! Many meows to you all.
This book is a laugh a page!.......1999-02-27
No matter how many times I read this book, I always LOL (Laugh Out Loud) -- maybe because it's so true!
Average customer rating:
- very useful book
- very useful book
- Informative and Helpful
|
Stop Controlling Me! What to Do When Someone You Love Has Too Much Power Over You
Richard J. Stenack Ph.D.
Manufacturer: New Harbinger Publications
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
Codependency
| Mental Health
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
Interpersonal Relations
| Relationships
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
Marriage
| Relationships
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
Codependency
| Relationships
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Self-Help
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
Self-Esteem
| Self-Help
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Psychology & Counseling
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
ASIN: 1572242469 |
Book Description
Control issues are a major factor in the nearly 50 percent of American marriages that end in divorce. Women with low self-esteem are most likely to attract (or seek) a dominating partner. Hungry for acceptance, they allow themselves to be manipulated. This book offers exercises to uncover mistaken beliefs, identify unacceptable compromises, and regain self-worth, as well as step-by-step tools to end relationships that can't be saved.
Customer Reviews:
very useful book.......2002-12-03
I found this book really useful. I introduced this book to my family and friends and they agreed that it is a good book.
I'd like to thank the authors.
I highly recommand this book to everybody.
very useful book.......2002-12-03
I found this book really useful. I introduced this book to my family and friends and they agreed that it is a good book.
I'd like to thank the authors.
I highly recommand this book to everybody.
Informative and Helpful.......2001-11-30
If you're tired of people pushing your buttons or pulling your strings, this book can help. There are examples of controlling relationships from real people, with the various forces at work clearly explained. Finally, the book helps you apply all this information to your own individual situation. Far more than just theory or discussion, "Stop Controlling Me" is a practical, useable roadmap to better, more honest, and more fulfilling relationships.
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- 101 Longeing and Longlining Exercises
- A Piece of Cake: Recipes for Female Sexual Pleasure
- Acceptance: A Novel
- Angel Diary Volume 4 (Angel Diary)
- Answered Prayer: Guaranteed!
- Applications = Code + Markup: A Guide to the Microsoft Windows Presentation Foundation (Pro - Developer)
- Baby Bargains, 7th Edition: Secrets to Saving 20% to 50% on baby furinture, gear, clothes, toys, maternity wear and much more! (Baby Bargains)
- Behind the Wheel Spanish/Complete Illustrated Text/Answer Keys/8 One Hour
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