Amazon.com
Are you just another AFC ("average frustrated chump") trying to meet an HB ("hot babe")? How would you like to "full-close" with a Penthouse Pet of the Year? The answers, my friend, are in Neil Strauss's entertaining book The Game. Strauss was a self-described chick repellant--complete with large, bumpy nose, small, beady eyes, glasses, balding head, and, worst of all, painful shyness around women. He felt like "half a man." That is, until a book editor asked him to investigate the community of pickup artists. Strauss's life was transformed. He spent two years bedding some fine chiquitas and studying with some of the North America's most suave gents--including the best of them all, the God of the pickup "community," a man named Mystery.
Mystery is an aspiring Toronto magician who charges $2,250 for a weekend pickup workshop. He is not much to look at: a cross between a vampire and a computer geek. But by using high-powered marketing techniques he's turned seduction into an effortless craft--even inventing his own vocabulary. His technique sounds like a car salesman's tip sheet: his main rule is FMAC--find, meet, attract, close. He employs the "three-second rule"--always approach a woman within three seconds of first seeing her in order to avoid getting shy. Other tricks: Intrigue a beautiful woman by pretending to be unaffected by her charm; also, never hit on a woman right away. Start with a disarming, innocent remark, like "Do you think magic spells work?" or "Oh my god, did you see those two girls fighting outside?" And finally, the most important characteristic of the pickup artist--smile.
After two years, Strauss ends up becoming almost as successful as Mystery, but he comes to an important realization. His techniques were actually off-putting to the woman he ended up falling in love with. And they never prepared him for actually having a relationship. After a while, he ran out of one-liners and had to have a real conversation. Still, The Game is a great read that may help some AFCs come out of their shells. --Alex Roslin
Book Description
Hidden somewhere, in nearly every major city in the world, is an underground seduction lair. And in these lairs, men trade the most devastatingly effective techniques ever invented to charm women. This is not fiction. These men really exist. They live together in houses known as Projects. And Neil Strauss, the bestselling author, spent two years living among them, using the pseudonym Style to protect his real-life identity. The result is one of the most explosive and controversial books of the year -- guaranteed to change the lives of men and transform the way women understand the opposite sex forever.
On his journey from AFC (average frustrated chump) to PUA (pick-up artist) to PUG (pick-up guru), Strauss not only shares scores of original seduction techniques but also has unforgettable encounters with the likes of Tom Cruise, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Heidi Fleiss, and Courtney Love. And then things really start to get strange -- and passions lead to betrayals lead to violence.
The Game is the story of one man's transformation from frog to prince -- to prisoner in the most unforgettable book of the year.
Customer Reviews:
One of the few books I've found that was interesting enough to read completely.......2007-10-17
Fascinating book about the PUA subculture. Love the black leather like binding and the red bookmark. Highly recommend reading for any man that wants to broaden his horizons.
I've read similar books and I'll share some observations to aspiring PUA's : All the good PUA guys either are either somewhat naturally charismatic, or have higher education and / or have established careers with significant incomes. While I'm not suggesting that you have to be rich or handsome to be a successful PUA, you will need to be getting a paycheck somehow. And higher education is a definite plus. Odd how all these books seem to leave out this essential fact.
Invest in yourself. Material things come to those that have self actualized.
If something has a direct benefit to an individual or a class of people, and a theoretical, abstract, or amorphous benefit to everybody else, realize that the proponent's intentions are to benefit the former, not the latter, no matter what bull they try to feed you.
Don't take proffered advice without a critical analysis. 90 % of all advice is intended to benefit the proponent, not the recipient. Actually, the number is probably closer to 97 but I don't want to come off as cynical.
As a young man, you're on your own. Society divides and conquers. Unlike women who have advocates looking out for them (NOW, Women's Study Departments, government, non-profit organizations, political advocacy groups) almost no one is looking out for you. Know that few people have your best interests at heart. Your mother does. Your father probably does (if he stuck around). Your siblings are on your side. Everybody else worries about themselves.
Remember, 97% of all advice is worthless. Take what you can use, and trash the rest.
Lecherous Men Who Need This "Book" For Advice Aren't Real Men And Deserve To Be Lonely, Frustrated & Lacking Self-Worth!!!!!!!!!.......2007-10-17
US culture has coarsened. Republicans are 100% correct in citing this trend that exploded since the 60s, liberal "revolution." Nowhere is this ghastly reality seen worse than The Game and its subordinating, brownnosing, 5-star reviews. Reading these 5-star ratings, the unsuspecting surfer would misconstrue The Game possesses virtue, entertainment and usefulness. My skewering review will disprove the 5-star reviews' fraud and divulge The Game as debauched, sadistic, sophomoric, misogynistic, underhanded, lecherous!!!!
The Game's the libertine story of an LA Times writer who longingly plots to "correct" his frustrated teen and twentysomething years spent without success in "getting laid." He's also insecure and awkward around women; he spends his waking hours longing for tail. His "solution?" Frequent the underground, pickup artist community--via internet groups--to procure tips on seducing, then bedding women. So, he becomes the pupil of the misogynistic and emotionally stunted man-child Mystery, self-proclaimed master of picking up women.
The "star" (Mystery) of Strauss' writing is one of the worst lowlives you'll ever witness. At first, Mystery's in his thirties YET LIVING WITH HIS PARENTS in an underprivileged, Toronto apartment!!!! He's emotionally retarded as evidenced in his confession that he never received love from his father--German immigrant-alcoholic who beat Mystery!--and how he yearns for a polygamist relationship with two lesbians. Mystery's pickup artist routine involves seducing many women to ineffectively battle to bring up his insecure sense of self-worth; underestimating the intelligence of women; and lecherously fu**ing as many women as he can pick up.
Mystery's routine is so elementary that it involves thoughtless, robotic patterns Mystery claims work on all women. From the seedy places described, it appears his routine only works if you target lowlife establishments (bars, clubs, Hollywood parties) and loose women. I repeat: The Game is misdirecting since Mystery's coarse pickup routine is never attempted on women of better breeding, ie., those with education, self-worth, class, morals--in short, conservative-leaning. His routine's only applied to liberal women he finds in the meanest of skid row locales. If one subserviently and errantly uses Mystery's pickup routine on women in normal places--away from the liberal skew of places like Hollywood parties and seedy bars--like malls, parks, offices, community/recreational activities, functions, etc., you'd get slapped in the face, and rightly so.
Mystery's tactics are misogynistic because they devalue women as fu**-buddies (actual term from The Game!) and conquests to be had; Mystery/Strauss admit many times picking up women is an addiction to satisfy their egos. Mystery's tactics involve going into a bar with his insecure, lowlife co-sargers and approaching women within three seconds of eye contact. It continues with pretending to be disinterested in the targeted woman ("negging") while the PUA's wing distracts whoever else in her group. It then, if need be, also resorts to ludicrous magic tricks and calculating demonstrations of value to the targeted woman. This combination of BS is alleged to result in quickly getting an indiscriminate, liberal woman's phone number, or even getting laid that very night!!!!
It's obvious Mystery's game is to be the poor man's Machiavelli, as The Prince dealt with manipulation too; only in The Prince, manipulation was applied intelligently and observed properly. These BS-routines are absurd and untrustworthy that only lonely/mousy nerds desperate for a woman's sexual touch, or sophomoric teenagers should/will bother with them. The censurable absurdity is Mystery proposes women will fall for elementary magic tricks done in bars!!!! Strauss alleges women are like crows hopelessly attracted to shiny objects, that if one ludicrously does magic in front of her, or asks her value-demonstrating questions, she'll put out like a sl*t!!!! No human's that insanely stupid, though liberal women in LA may well be.
Strauss also introduces other characters in the pickup community. There's Papa, Tyler Durden, Ross Jefferies, Sweater, etc.. Like Mystery, ALL suffer from irreversible, emotional damage. Papa's a rich college kid obsessed with scoring; Durden doesn't like girls but lusts for power over women; Jefferies hates women due to a life of rejection; and Sweater naively wants to find a wife. Due to the soulless PUA lifestyle, most of these characters met with misery by the book's conclusion: Papa dropped out of college where he was studying law; Sweater was trapped in a loveless marriage; and even Strauss, the author, was pining for Lisa (Courtney Love's guitar-player) who disdained his lifestyle.
I'll stereotype the demographic of verminous male who basely reads The Game. You're a life-loser who isn't getting any; loathes women; feels inferior; and cannot relate to women in healthy, emotional terms. I bet I'm 100% correct!!!! Ironically, Strauss terms the Alpha Male of the Group as the man who competes with the PUA, yet I feel I'm the Alpha Male of all who've read The Game because I refuse to be so desperate to pick up women by resorting to this BS. I, as the normal, healthy and well-adjusted man, simply relate to women as the human beings they are, and that works a zillion times more effectively than Mystery's BS.
Compelling tale - couldn't put it down.......2007-10-15
Neil Strauss, who co-authored bestsellers about Motley Crue and Jenna Jameson, nails it again with another great tale into the bizarre worlds most of us never visit. This isn't so much a how to pick up women guide. It's a captivating story line as he ventures into the seduction community and grows his skills and insight into his own existence. Truly fascinating. Much of the material the average guy cannot relate to, or will ever experience, but as a page turner it is truly masterful.
I would couple this book with one recommended above by Amazon, The Professional Bachelor Dating Guide - How to Exploit Her Inner Psycho. As you read them, you realize the techniques they teach parallel how to "win friends and influence people", along with how to seduce the babes. The skills dissect and perfect being charismatic and comfortable in new situations with strangers. Get both books, they will accelerate your self-confidence to a very high level; for me it's been life changing.
Great lessons in personality transformation.......2007-10-12
Having seen Neil's interviews on the chunky feminist TV circuit and he how handled the bitter hens with ease, I bought The Game. A very intriguing and unusual tale told with some ingenious to bizarre characters throughout.
Neil's written for Rolling Stone and had other great books like The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band; this book carries on with his engaging writing style. Highly recommended.
The game.......2007-10-11
Good story. However, if one listens to Mystery's tale about the scorpion, which can't change its nature even if it has to die, then how on earth a male in his thirties (fourties?) is able to transform his habits in couple of years? A reader is being familirized with the PUA terminology like - elicit values, field test; fluff, opener etc., where talking is the most essential part. But hey, then Style brags about picking up a Czech girl who "has no more than a dozen words of English in her vocabulary"! Bars and clubs are where the action here goes on, yes, but what about everyday environment like a store, shop, show, queue. Unfortunately, in the book those are just couple epizodes.
And finally, Neil Strauss says that a shrunken-apple face betrays one's Eastern European origins (p.406). Interesting. It reminded me of an Italian prison doctor Cesare Lambrose, who in the 19th century suggested that physiological traits such as the measurements of one's cheek bones or hairline, or a cleft palate were indicative of one's atavistic criminal tendencies.
Amazon.com
Unhappiness in marriage often has a simple root cause: we speak different love languages, believes Dr. Gary Chapman. While working as a marriage counselor for more than 30 years, he identified five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. In a friendly, often humorous style, he unpacks each one. Some husbands or wives may crave focused attention; another needs regular praise. Gifts are highly important to one spouse, while another sees fixing a leaky faucet, ironing a shirt, or cooking a meal as filling their "love tank." Some partners might find physical touch makes them feel valued: holding hands, giving back rubs, and sexual contact. Chapman illustrates each love language with real-life examples from his counseling practice.
How do you discover your spouse's - and your own - love language? Chapman's short questionnaires are one of several ways to find out. Throughout the book, he also includes application questions that can be answered more extensively in the beautifully detailed companion leather journal (an exclusive Amazon.com set). Each section of the journal corresponds with a chapter from the book, offering opportunities for deeper reflection on your marriage.
Although some readers may find choosing to love a spouse that they no longer even like -hoping the feelings of affection will follow later- a difficult concept to swallow, Chapman promises that the results will be worth the effort. "Love is a choice," says Chapman. "And either partner can start the process today." --Cindy Crosby. This text refers to the Amazon.com Exclusive Journal & Paperback Book Set.
Book Description
Are you and your spouse speaking the same language? While love is a many splendored thing, it is sometimes a very confusing thing, too. And as people come in all varieties, shapes, and sizes, so do their choices of personal expressions of love. But more often than not, the giver and the receiver express love in two different ways. This can lead to misunderstanding, quarrels, and even divorce. Quality Time Words of Affirmation Gifts Acts of Service Physical TouchDr. Gary Chapman identifies five basic languages of love and then guides couples towards a better understanding of their unique languages of love. Learn to speak and understand your mate's love language, and in no time you will be able to effectively love and truly feel loved in return.Skillful communication is within your grasp!Click here for the Study Guide for Spouse and Group Discussion
Customer Reviews:
A fun book to read and apply.......2007-10-19
It was fun to read this book and think about my own love language as well as figuring out my husband's.
Communicating heartfelt committment.......2007-10-18
The goal of the book "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman is to learn how to communicate heartfelt commitment to your mate. The book achieves its purpose by explaining five possible ways (or love languages) people express and/or receive love. Armed with the knowledge of how to recognize and speak your mates primary love language(s) your mates love tank should hopefully never run low; resulting in a successful and happy marriage.
The "Five Love Languages" makes for a great suppliment tool. The material in the book only deals with one aspect of marriage (expressing commitment),and would be best used with a Biblical study on marriage (or relationships). This is a great tool, but shouldn't be the only tool in ones marriage tool box.
I feel there is a caution worth mentioning in regards to this book. The "Five Love Languages" is not a Bible study, nor does it express the foundational teachings of marriage in the Bible. The book doesn't explain the marriage covenant, God's teaches about marriage, or what the Biblical roles are of the husband and wife.
Insightful Book.......2007-10-17
Gary Chapman's book is very insightful. Not only do you learn your partner's "love language," but you'll understand yourself and others better, too. If you wish to convey appreciation and love to your spouse, family and friends, this book definitely provides effective measures for doing so.
Must Read.......2007-10-17
This book truly opened my eyes to the needs of my husband, and played a large part in saving my marriage.
A must listen to by all to improve yourself and others.......2007-10-16
This audio is for everyone, who wants to try to understand people, especially your spouse and children. I have listened to this five times, and I am still learning, as this tape gives examples with other people in the audio that makes it quite interesting. One situation was when both people were in love, got married then turned around to only be a one sided love. Gary Chapman coached the one person and helped two, and understanding that each of us has things, we love more than the other does. We have been married for forty-six years and I found out how to make it even better, with listening to this tape. The best!
Book Description
Keep her coming back for more…
It’s nothing to be ashamed of. When it comes to performing oral sex, most people fall somewhere between fumbling and clueless. But now, in The Lowdown on Going Down you’ll find practical, easy-to-master techniques that will give you the confidence and skills you need to become an expert in the delicate art of cunnilingus.
Inside you’ll find:
• Exercises to whip your tongue, lips, and jaw into shape so you can perform with exquisite control
• An anatomy class you need to pass
• Sensual kisses to get you both ready for the main event
• Sure-fire methods for getting her to climax again and again
• Advice on how to keep your mind from spoiling your head
• Advanced techniques to wake up the neighbors
• Positions that will make her purr
Read The Lowdown on Going Down alone or with the companion edition, Blow Him Away for mind-blowing oral sex—every time.
Customer Reviews:
The Lowdown on GOING DOWN.......2007-10-11
Excellent read, once you get to the techniques. I also liked some of the psyche info. Helps a man understand the woman mind a little better, so we don't get so confused, lol. Anyway, the techniques take a little practice, and the tongue exercises are crucial. Your woman will worship you once you've got "things" perfected!!
Great Advice!.......2007-08-18
I also highly recommend - The Master's Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Perform Successful Oral Sex and Provide the Highest Degree of Pleasure Possible
After reading both books I can proudly say that I've become a better lover!
Useful.......2007-08-02
The book covers similar ground as 'She Comes First', which I also recommend. Michaels writes her book informally and conversationally.
The author's background as speech pathologist gives her a great deal of credibility - particularly when discussing the tongue. That's the strongest point. It's also a quick read. The weak point is that the book is good enough that it does not need the occasional sarcastic quips to support it. Sometimes it seemed that the authors were embarassed by the subject matter and felt the need to lighten it up. Understandable, but sometimes it smacked of too much effort. Drop some sarcasm and the book could be even better than it is. Even as is, it's still 4 stars. Let's see if it merits 5 big Os.
Very good.......2007-06-27
I felt pretty good about my knowledge of this area but I did learn some things I either didn't know or had forgotten we can all use a refresher. Worth the time and the cost would recommended to anyone wanting to increase the pleasure for both paties.
ok for linguists.......2007-05-13
I found this book verging on the ridiculus in as much as the excercises that one is expected to do with the lips, tongue and jaw are similar to an oral marathon.
Book Description
Once again, Dr. Laura Schlessinger strikes an important nerve in our culture. Jumping off her million–copy bestseller The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, which received an incredible response from readers worldwide, in THE PROPER CARE AND FEEDING OF MARRIAGE, Dr. Laura exposes the sensitive and loving truth that it is necessary to appreciate the the polarity between masculine and feminine in order to produce and sustain a wonderfully satisfying marriage. Both husbands and wives have power in their relationships, and each needs to realize this in order to ensure for themselves the personal satisfaction they yearn for. Using real–life examples from her call–in radio show, and giving us real–life solutions, Dr. Laura focuses on the typical mistakes made by men and women in their relationships, and shows us how marriages can come back from the brink of disaster and divorce.
Customer Reviews:
VERY condescending - poorly written.......2007-10-08
I don't know who edited this book but they did a poor job. While reading it, I kept thinking that my 7th Grade English teacher would NOT approve of that sentence!
It doesn't help any that Dr. Laura is a bully and can be a b**** on the radio. I just find no value in brow-beating people on national radio just to make yourself look intelligent or knowledgeable.
Personally, I don't think Dr. Laura has any moral authority to speak on this subject and she obviously does not have the writing abiltiy either.
The Proper Care and Feeding of a Marriage.......2007-09-16
Dr. Laura, you are amazing! I've been married 25 years to a wonderful man. We have been the best of parents, but have only just begun to be the best of friends and lovers! Thank-you so much for your timeless wisdom. I have already purchased "The Proper Care and Feeding of a Husband" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of a Marriage" for our married daughter and son-in-law. I have been recommending your book to everyone! May God continue to do His work of reconciliation with the help of books like yours. Sincerely, Lydia Sherrin
What a bunch of nonsense!.......2007-07-29
Please save your money and do not buy this drivel. Most of this book is a direct and harsh attack on feminists, and feminism in general. Guess what, Dr. Laura? It's 2007, not 1957. She has no practical or specific suggestions for improving a marriage, just general "smile and be pretty, open your legs and don't complain".
Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage Review.......2007-07-28
As with all Dr. Laura products I was very pleased with this purchase. Her books are so much more than meets the eye. She has a gift for showing how deep and wide even the smallest of things affect yourself and those around you. I would recommend this book to any married couple.
Dr Laura.......2007-07-16
Dr Laura gives down to earth excellent recommendations. It is just that most of us are too selfish to follow them. The recommendations are simple common sense solutions to marriage problems that we in our selfishness try to make into difficult solutions. Instead of thinking of our children's welfare we are only concerned with our own. We have our priorities in the wrong place. We need to grow up and become responsible adults.
Average customer rating:
|
Interviewing in Action: Relationship, Process, and Change
Bianca Cody Murphy , and
Carolyn Dillon
Manufacturer: Wadsworth Publishing
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
 Social Services & Welfare
| Poverty
| Current Events
| Nonfiction
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Education
| Nonfiction
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Counseling
| Education
| Nonfiction
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Counseling
| Psychology & Counseling
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Mental Health
| Health, Mind & Body
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Neurology
| Internal Medicine
| Medicine
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Psychiatry
| Specialties
| Medicine
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Neurology
| Internal Medicine
| Medicine
| Medical
| Professional & Technical
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Psychiatry
| Internal Medicine
| Medicine
| Medical
| Professional & Technical
| Subjects
| Books
Look Inside Nonfiction Books
| Trip
| Specialty Stores
| Books
Look Inside Science Books
| Trip
| Specialty Stores
| Books
All Titles
| Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007
| Stores
| Books
Medicine
| Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007
| Stores
| Books
Nonfiction
| Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007
| Stores
| Books
Professional
| Qualifying Textbooks - Fall 2007
| Stores
| Books
Similar Items:
-
Inside Out and Outside In
-
Strengths Perspective in Social Work Practice, The (4th Edition)
-
Where to Start and What to Ask: An Assessment Handbook
-
Research Methods for Social Work
-
The Dynamics of Social Welfare Policy
ASIN: 0534538967 |
Book Description
Praised nationwide by instructors throughout the helping professions, INTERVIEWING IN ACTION gives students the clinical wisdom and hands-on practice to fully develop their clinical interviewing skills. In this Second Edition, Bianca Cody Murphy and Carolyn Dillon reinforce their superb RE-VIEW Practice Method of skills development with even greater emphasis on the importance of relationship building as a key to successful clinical process. As suggested by the book's new subtitle--RELATIONSHIP, PROCESS, AND CHANGE--the authors show students how they can promote change over time using the client-clinician relationship as an impetus for growth. A book and video package option offers many teaching and learning solutions. With this option, students purchase the package--the book and the full video at a greatly reduced price. The video includes short, specific clips that illustrate the chapter's discussion in action--in real client/clinician settings. The 120-minute video features six client/clinician pairs, including one completely new to this edition.
Amazon.com
According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication, communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-lauded Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. There's much more to a solid, "emotionally intelligent" marriage than sharing every feeling and thought, he points out--though most couples therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts.
Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn't know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at work.)
Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve every problem. "Take Allan and Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship." While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that "they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply."
Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. --Erica Jorgensen
Book Description
John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises,
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
Download Description
John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.
Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
"An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent -- and long-lasting -- marriage."
DANIEL GOLEMAN, AUTHOR OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
"Gottman stays refreshingly down to earth, rather than on Mars and Venus."
BILL MARVEL AND GEOFFREY NORMAN, AMERICAN WAY
"Gottman comes to this endeavor with the best of qualifications: he's got the spirit of a scientist and the soul of a romantic."
NEWSWEEK
"Twenty-five years of landmark marital research."
USA TODAY
"Offers something every relationship can benefit from."
SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER
"Astonishing new research!"
WOMAN'S WORLD
Customer Reviews:
Your marriage doesn't have to be rocky to get value from this book........2007-10-18
This is NOT a self help book. I can tell you that honestly because I don't read self help books. Self help books are generalist pseudo-science made up by so-called motivational gurus like Tony Robbins, Rhonda Byrne (The Secret) and Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup guy). The aforementioned books are mental pablum written by corrupt individuals whose goal is to separate you from your money. They are not experts. Their only accomplishment is to come up with a manipulative technique to sell a new version of snake oil.
If you want to learn more on this subject, read SHAM by Steve Salerno. It isn't a perfect book because he falls down a bit in the proof area, and some of his conclusions are outlandish, but he does give you a lot to think about regarding the self help movement.
John Gottman's book is an educational reference. If you want to be a physicist, you read books by experts in the field of physics. If you want to be a good spouse, you read books on marriage by experts in the field of marriage. It's not self help; it's education.
Make sure you pick your "experts" carefully. John Gray (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus) is NOT an expert. He got is "PhD" from a diploma mill. The man has no accredited higher education at all. His book is pure, made up, stereotypical garbage. He came up with a catchy title, went on Oprah, and made millions because there are a lot of gullible people out there. Don't be one of them.
Gottman, however, really is an expert. He is one of the best in his field and is recognized as such by his peers. His credentials are legitimate and he wrote a very good book. My marriage was good before I read it. My wife brought it home because, as a family doctor, she often talks to her patients about their relationships and this was part of her overall education. I like improving myself, so I read it too and it helped. My marriage wasn't in need of saving, but fine tuning is always a good idea, so I used the techniques and they work. It helped evolve my marriage from good to great.
I can see how it would help save marriages that were really on the rocks, although I don't have the first hand experience in this regard. What Gottman has to say really resonates about things that you should and should not do in a marriage. On that note, I think people give up on relationships too easily. They become too self absorbed, worry about their own needs and forget the joy to be had in being dedicated to making someone they love happy. Not all marriages can be fixed, but most can.
It doesn't take much to motivate me to stay married, but the one thing that terrifies me more than anything about getting divorced is the thought of some other guy being a stepfather to my children. I am very protective of my kids, and no man will EVER take my place as their father as long as I'm alive. Think about that before you sleep with your secretary.
I have one criticism of Gottman. He's an expert, and he knows it. His book comes across as arrogant, and sometimes the material is dry. Forgive me, but I like to be entertained a little. I accept that you are an expert or I wouldn't be reading your book, so you don't have to keep reminding me. The information is great, but it isn't exactly a page turner. Perhaps he should have done different male and female versions with the same content, but written in different styles. A few metaphorical car chases and explosions couldn't have hurt.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Gu.......2007-10-15
This is a great book! I have read many relationship books and this is clearly the best. It is so easy to read and offers a lot of practical guidance. There are step by step exercises for you and your partner to work on together. Rebuilding and re-aquainting with each other. I found it to be hopeful and reassuring. It has helped me immensely in my relationship. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is looking for help in your relationship.
A must for couples considering marriage/long-term partnership.......2007-09-30
My fiancee and I decided to be proactive and visit a psychologist before we had any relationship issues and before we got married. He recommended Gottman to us, and what a fabulous recommendation it was! Reading "Seven Principles" really illustrated with lucidity what it was about my parents' marriage that has always bothered me (contempt from my mother in their arguments) and gave clear steps on how to avoid this and other relationship killers. It was very reaffirming in that it doesn't tell couples not to fight (because how realistic is that?), but teaches them how to fight and how to agree to disagree. My fiancee is in the process of reading it now, and I'm excited for him to finish so we can talk it over. The last principle, in particular, is really great for people who already have solid relationships...it made me excited to get married!
A really excellent book overall, Gottman's writing style is clear and concise!
A must have in protecting one's marriage!.......2007-09-26
This book is absolutely essential in the treatment of marriage or couple counseling, as well as can be used by anyone interested in strengthening their own marriage/relationships. It is helpful because it is basic, layed out in a very simplistic manner, and is an easy reader. The book offers concrete instructions for couples on how to improve their closeness, connection, and communication. It is also based on scientific studies thereby offering value and effectiveness of the techniques illustrated in the book. I would highly recommend it for struggling couples, those considering divorce, as well as couples with a good relationship seeking a closer bond.
researched through many, this one the best .......2007-09-05
This author uses common sense and clinical study and marries the 2 together,
He gives simple, thought provoking questions and daily/weekly effective deeds to do. Insightful and effective. We're using it to help others but aNYONE can take a few hints from this even MR and MRS perfectly happy.
Book Description
The companion book to Ian Kerner's smash success She Comes First, He Comes Next offers women his sometimes radical, always expert advice on everything from the nature of male desire to sex-techniques that work
While women everywhere benefited from Ian Kerner's sexual philosophy of female pleasure in She Comes First, now it's time to learn all about what turns men on and makes them stay on. In He Comes Next, Kerner covers every angle of male sexuality, illuminates the most common sex-life ruts, and offers practical, knowledgeable answers to women's most frequently asked questions. In his role as a sex therapist, Kerner has spoken with countless men not only about the best sex they ever had, but also perhaps more important about the best sex they never had -- experiences they always desired and fantasized about, but were afraid to share with their partners. In the spirit of "full exposure," He Comes Next is the closest you'll ever come to waking up in a guy's skin and knowing what truly makes him sexually tick.
Sexual pleasure goes beyond tips and tactics, however. Our sexual identities -- and the expression, gratification, and growth of these identities -- is fundamental to the success of our intimate relationships. With step-by-step and -- yes -- blow-by-blow detail, Kerner provides a clear, concise, achievable vision of sexual pleasure, one in which each technique forwards the action and where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Written in the same witty, insightful, and utterly readable voice that has made She Comes First and Be Honest -- You're Not That Into Him Either so popular, He Comes Next is the thinking woman's guide to enjoying sex to the fullest and ensuring that he does the same.
Download Description
The companion book to Ian Kerner's smash success She Comes First, He Comes Next offers women his sometimes radical, always expert advice on everything from the nature of male desire to sex-techniques that work While women everywhere benefited from Ian Kerner's sexual philosophy of female pleasure in She Comes First, now it's time to learn all about what turns men on and makes them stay on. In He Comes Next, Kerner covers every angle of male sexuality, illuminates the most common sex-life ruts, and offers practical, knowledgeable answers to women's most frequently asked questions. In his role as a sex therapist, Kerner has spoken with countless men not only about the best sex they ever had, but also perhaps more important about the best sex they never had -- experiences they always desired and fantasized about, but were afraid to share with their partners. In the spirit of "full exposure," He Comes Next is the closest you'll ever come to waking up in a guy's skin and knowing what truly makes him sexually tick. Sexual pleasure goes beyond tips and tactics, however. Our sexual identities -- and the expression, gratification, and growth of these identities -- is fundamental to the success of our intimate relationships. With step-by-step and -- yes -- blow-by-blow detail, Kerner provides a clear, concise, achievable vision of sexual pleasure, one in which each technique forwards the action and where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Written in the same witty, insightful, and utterly readable voice that has made She Comes First and Be Honest -- You're Not That Into Him Either so popular, He Comes Next is the thinking woman's guide to enjoying sex to the fullest and ensuring that he does the same.
Customer Reviews:
Best Book Ever!!!!.......2007-09-12
This book isn't so much about the mechanics of sex as the nature of love and desire in a monogamous relationship. Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of great factual information about sex, but speaking as a woman, I have always been more curious about the deeper and more substantial mystery of love. This book really delves into that mystery and supplies a lot of expert relationship advice arising from the physical realities of the human body. For example, cuddling releases a hormone called oxcytocin in females and massage releases the hormone vassopressin in men. These hormones encourage feelings of closeness, fidelity and nesting in humans. Spending time massaging your guy actually helps build your relationship, and demanding that he spend time with his arm or leg over you will make you feel more appreciated. Even if you already knew this great little fact, you should still read this book because there are more of these cool tidbits and the book espouses a powerful new way for women to look at sex. Before I read this book, I was caught in a traditional outlook on female sexuality. I thought that sex just wasn't very fun for me and it wasn't really supposed to be fun for me. I had tried other books, but found that the "techniques" they suggested led to some embarrassing situations. I had asked my gynecologist if their was something wrong with me that made sex just no fun. I thought that porn was a necessary evil and didn't really understand why guys spend any time at all watching the stuff. After reading this book, I can truly say that I get why my guy seems to be the way he is. I have implemented some of the suggestions, and man alive, my sex life has been soooo much better. This is my first online review of a book and it is because I just had to come and gush about this book.
I got this book and "She Comes First" 15 days ago as my anniversary gift to my boyfriend and me. He has been too busy with work to read "She Comes First", so I started reading "He comes next." Just this book has been truly great for our relationship. The cover is very suggestive and one of the best parts of the book. While he is walking around the apartment, I will lounge on the chair reading. I have caught him staring at me a bunch. I know it turns him on to see me reading a book about how to turn him on. Further, the book is a page turner. I come home and the first thing I want to do is pick it up and read. I have to hold myself back to wait for my boyfriend to be around. Having read this book, I want to give it to my friend as a wedding present. This book is worth its weight in diamonds.
A great learning experience.......2007-08-17
I read She Comes First by the same author before I read this one which was just as educational for me as it is for a man. That being said, He Comes Next was quite a learning experience! While I am good at "it", there's always room for improvement in whatever you're doing and reading this book cemented that belief. It helped me understand how a man thinks and why and how he feels (not so different from us ladies) about sensitive issues. I expected the book to be primarily about learning to give a better oral sex like She Comes First is, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that there was much more to it than that. I did, however, appreciate the education I got about oral sex. I certainly hope to satisfy my partner better now-emotionally and physically.
A great big O.......2007-07-01
I'd give this book a big O for outstanding. This book goes beyond just serving as a how-to on having great sex, but first and foremost provides a how-to on having a great relationship. (And, believe it or not, the two really are connected.) Continually entertaining, informative, and insightful from cover to cover, this book will likely suck (ok, puns are hard to avoid in writing this review) you in from the start and keep your attention throughout. As the author conveys throughout the book, the secret to having an exciting relationship in the bedroom is to first have an exciting one outside of it
WOW! This is an Amazing Book!.......2007-05-13
I picked this book up on a whim and read it cover to cover without putting it down. The author truly "has a handle" on how to please a man. He is straightforward and provides easy to understand instruction. I would recommend this book to anyone. I was amazed at what I learned and just applying a few of the techniques in this book will maximize your and your partner's experience.
Always learning.......2007-05-13
I think any man will appreciate a woman reading this book-it's written intelligently and I believe will truly enhance the male sexual experience when employed by women (and in turn, the men will reciprocate!)
Book Description
Is sex more trouble than it's worth? Are you too slow? Do you rely excessively on prolonged (even painful) intercourse, oral sex or vibrators? Is your orgasm hit or miss?
Now with this bold but simple 3 step program, any woman - YOU - can achieve orgasm without difficulty during sex. IMPOSSIBLE? Not if you follow the quick and easy formula you will learn in this book.
Now there is hope for any woman suffering the agonizing frustration of a too-slow, unreliable or non-existent orgasm. Five Minutes to Orgasm once and for all crushes the dogma that achieving orgasm must take longer for a woman than it does for a man.
Stop blaming your partner for being too fast, inept and uncaring. Five Minutes to Orgasm describes in frank, detailed terms a method for making female orgasm the natural, effortless outcome of each and every lovemaking experience, and frees him from slavery to the female orgasm.
Customer Reviews:
baaad book.......2007-10-19
Seriously, don't buy this book. She touts "The 3 secrets" that will ensure a great big "O" every time. I'll save you time and money and tell them to you here: here they are: Be on top, use a vibrator, and fantasize. Yep, that's it! This book makes heavy use of italics and bold print.
Not Exactly a Revelation.......2007-10-15
I can understand how this book would help women who have never combined penetration with mastrubation. My girlfriend has never hesitated to combine the two, yet she still has trouble reaching a climax. Vibrating toys seems to be the best guarantee, but this information doesn't hurt.
Educational.......2007-09-12
This book is easy to read, entertaining and educational, a trusty guide to the physical means to that wonderful and mind blowing orgasm.
Five Minutes to Orgasm.......2007-09-11
I decided to buy this book because I've always had problems reaching orgasm when my husband and I make love, and I was hopeful that there was something I hadn't tried. This book is great, especially for a woman who hadn't really tried the technique the author suggests. I guess I thought there was something wrong with it, or I hadn't thought of using manipulation and intercourse together. But the author makes a good case for the point of view of the book, and even though I am relatively inexperienced at masturbation, I decided to practice more as the author suggests. I would recommend this book as an augmentation to other sexual literature, depending on how experienced you are, whether you do or do not have difficulty reaching climax. It gives more detailed and complete explanations than many, somewhat more than your average "improve your relationship" type of books give. From talking to some of my other women friends, especially those who are not embarrassed to admit they still haven't gotten it "right," many of us could use this refresher course in making love.
Faster and Efficient Orgasms.......2007-09-08
If you are one of the many women who have a problem in this area, in order to achieve orgasm during intercourse, you need to learn how your body works. Learn how to get in positions where you can move your hips and easily reach your clitoris for a fast and easy orgasm. You can continue to try reaching orgasm through thrusting alone and end up dissatisfied, or you can guarantee your orgasm every time you have sex by using this book.
Book Description
“One of the most admired men in the world of seduction” (The New York Times) teaches average guys how to approach, attract and begin intimate relationships with beautiful women
For every man who always wondered why some guys have all the luck, Mystery, considered by many to be the world’s greatest pickup artist, finally reveals his secrets for finding and forming relationships with some of the world’s most beautiful women. Mystery gained mainstream attention for his role in Neil Strauss’s New York Times bestselling exposé, The Game. Now he has written the definitive handbook on the art of the pickup.
He developed his unique method over years of observing social dynamics and interacting with women in clubs to learn how to overcome the guard shield that many women use to deflect come-ons from "average frustrated chumps."
His tips include:
*Give more attention to her less attractive friend at first, so your target will get jealous and try to win your attention.
*Always approach a target within 3 seconds of noticing her. If a woman senses your hesitation, her perception of your value will be lower.
*Don't be picky. Approach as many groups of people in a bar as you can and entertain them with fun conversation. As you move about the room, positive perception of you will grow. Now it's easy to meet anyone you want.
*Smile. Guys who don't get laid, don't smile.
Customer Reviews:
Mystery's Magical Tour. .......2007-10-19
I have never been a consistent reader of the "pick up/player" genre, but I've become more attuned to it recently as I have begun a work of my own on a similar topic. Based on the tomes I have consumed, The Mystery Method currently ranks as second best--just behind How to Succeed with Women by Lewis and Copeland.
Many of us know Mystery from The Game or his new TV show on VH1. Unlike most of the Amazon reviewers, I was not a big admirer of Neil Strauss's account, but I found Mystery to be, by far, the only compelling character in the book. He was the only person you cared about. In the narrative sections concerning him, readers become entranced. He arouses feelings within us of elation, zeal, and sympathy. He is a man of depth and vision which was a major reason why The Game was worth perusing.
If you have any doubts about this offering--thinking that perhaps the 6'5" would-be rock star is trying to cash in on his recent celebrity--think again. He has produced an instructional volume of which he will forever be proud. I think that is why some people found it dry because, in my estimation, he attempted to put everything he had into this publication. It stands alone and is not a "teaser" vehicle by which struggling Average Frustrated Chumps will feel a need to purchase a registration ticket for one of his seminars. You get the vibe from these pages that he was scared to leave anything (essential) out as he knew it would be a work from he would always be judged.
So much about women and our romantic relations with them is counter-intuitive which renders conventional wisdom completely useless. Mystery asks us to suspend disbelief in these pages and we are wise to do so. He analyzes the irrational process of seduction and attraction in the most logical way possible. These chapters are full of symbols and lingo which (yes, can be trying) but ultimately describe the privileged sex in a manner far superior to anything you will find in the self-help section of the local bookstore.
I have studied women to a great extent, and believe that what Mystery reveals here informs us more of their group behaviors than the majority of psychology textbooks. As I read this work I looked back on some of my own romantic successes and failures--particularly those with unexpected outcomes. I came away with the realization my most fantastic memories were a result of my own--generally unintentional--practice of negging and demonstrations of value; while my memories of disaster sprung from a diminishment of personal value and a refusal to build comfort. All of us can learn from this man and we must always remember that in this game, as in so many others, fortune always favors the bold.
Best seduction book out there!.......2007-10-18
I have read everything on seduction on Amazon and this one is by far the most useful and practical than the rest. It tells you what to do and how to do it at every step, no guess work, tells you what you need to know and nothing you don't need.
Good info on the psychology of women........2007-10-14
Yes, this book is dry. And yes, the stuff probably won't work "as-is" once the show gets seen by a lot of people. But I think the basic concepts work well and will last you a long time, if you're able to adapt.
I think when you combine what you learn from this book with all the other great seduction books out there, you'll see that this stuff is strong and will work for you. Just don't take everything word-for-word.
I was out in a club the other day and there were some "mystery method" guys there. They were actually helping me, even though they didn't mean to, because the chicks were onto them. They didn't know I was running the same game.
So get this book, change it up, and have good luck!!
Excellent Book.......2007-10-11
I really enjoyed reading this book. It's a quick easy read, that you will refer back to time and time again. The thing I like best about The Mystery Method, as opposed to other "pick up" books, is that it isn't about manipulating people, taking advantage of girls, or getting laid. It primarily serves you with a structure for meeting new people. It shows you the steps it takes to move through an interaction, from the first word to many dates later. This book will help you make friends!! It shows you what you are doing wrong and what you should be doing.
well worth the money!.......2007-10-10
Very informative and well-written. Explict, modern and spedific. I would also highly recommend another awesome book- The Exclusive Layguide: When Dating and Having Sex with Incredibly Hot Women is No Longer Mirage Even If You Don't Look Like a Model or Don't Make a Fortune Both books are well worth the money!
Book Description
For the 70 percent of couples who have been affected by extramarital affairs, this is the only book to offer proven strategies for surviving the crisis and rebuilding the relationship –– written by a nationally known therapist considered an expert on infidelity.
When I was 15, I was raped. That was nothing compared to your affair. The rapist was a stranger; you, I thought, were my best friend.
There is nothing quite like the pain and shock caused when a partner has been unfaithful. The hurt partner often experiences a profound loss of self–respect and falls into a depression that can last for years. For the relationship, infidelity is often a death blow.
After the Affair is the first book to help readers survive this crisis. Written by a clinical psychologist who has been treating distressed couples for 22 years, it guides both hurt and unfaithful partners through the three stages of healing: Normalizing feelings, deciding whether to recommit and revitalizing the relationship. It provides proven, practical advice to help the couple change their behavior toward each other, cultivate trust and forgiveness and build a healthier, more conscious intimate partnership.
Customer Reviews:
After The Affair.......2007-09-26
My son-in-law absolutely loved the book. Hasn't stopped talking about how it helped him deal with various issues.
From the HURT party.......2007-09-06
This book was very painful to read as the "hurt" party. It makes you revisit very painful experiences and feelings, which I had dealt with already. The unfaithful party would rate it 5.
Saved my sanity and hopefully my marriage.......2007-07-20
I felt so lost and out of control, I didn't know where to turn - so immediately searched for a book on the subject of infidelity. I was at first hesitant after reading a review claiming the author places blame for the affair on the betrayed spouse -BUT - After reading this book as a betrayed spouse, I believe this is NOT the case.
What she DOES do is address both the wayward spouse and the betrayed spouse equally when taking an honest and often hard look at the relationship before the Affair took place - where there was breakdown in the marriage that may have lead up to the affair. She does clearly state that the wayward spouse IS responsible for their actions and the affair - after all, no one can FORCE someone to CHEAT.
But thankfully, this books delves far beyond finger pointing, and looks for a way to bring partners back toward one another, by dealing with issues in the marriage rather than sweeping them under the carpet. It does this in a supportive, non-judgmental way, that both sides can feel comfortable pursuing. And she gives us simple yet important exercises to do, and action plans to follow, to help us get there. It's a book to be devoured in one sitting, and then read and reread countless times as needed through the different stages of grieving and healing. This book is a true marriage saver - at least, it is for us, and I hope it can be for you, too.
Let me put it as simply as I can:
I (Betrayed Wife) couldn't put this book down, I was so thirsty for understanding - and cried tears of relief when I felt validated in both my feelings and reactions surrounding the discovery of the infidelity.
My husband (Wayward Husband) skimmed through the book with great interest, then went straight to the closest bookstore and bought his own copy. We both now are in our second readings, all the while making lots of notes in the margins, and doing the simple exercises that pop up from time to time. It has helped us to each understand what the other spouse is going through and may be thinking, and has helped us find a way to relate to one another productively.
We have come a long way in two short weeks, and although I know we still have a long way to go, I don't think we would have made it this far (and remained best friends, as we are) without the help in this book.
In fact, the end chapters on Forgiveness are so good, we've also purchased 'How Can I Forgive You' by the same author, to delve even deeper into the moving forward stage of healing and forgiving.
I would recommend these books immediately to any woman I love - and to any couple or man I care deeply about, too - if they found themselves facing infidelity.
For anyone out there hurting this much right now, I feel your pain, confusion and shock - and want you to know you aren't alone. Get this book and you'll see what I mean - you won't be sorry you did.
Excellent Resource for Surviving and Growing after Infidelity.......2007-05-23
After the Affair is a comprehensive and insightful manual that has provided extraordinary help in my life and Im sure will help millions. It helped me to get through the crisis and shock after finding out that my partner was having an affair. It explained the "normal" feelings and helped me to gain insight into what i was going through. After an affair there are of course choices you have. You can stay with your partner and make a committment to working on the relationship or you can move on to the new adventure that awaits you. This time in your life can be truly transformative. This book offers practical information on rebuilding trust if you choose that path. Personally I got a lot out of the book but I chose to move on with my life. The answer lies within your heart. You just need to listen closely. Highly recommended reading for anyone dealing with this challenging situation.
Not my favorite.......2007-05-13
I was not impressed by the advice in this book.I think no two affairs are the same, neither are all waywards or all betrayed spouses.Her approach seemed to be very one size fits all.Maybe it will help some people but it doesn't help all.The old adage of bad marriage=affair needs to be looked at again.Sometimes there are seriously messed up people that have affairs and fixing the 'broken marriage' will NOT fix them.
Books:
- The Kids' Guide to First Aid: All About Bruises, Burns, Stings, Sprains & Other Ouches (Williamson Kids Can! Series)
- The Multi-Site Church Revolution: Being One Church in Many Locations (Leadership Network Innovation Series, The)
- The Norton Anthology of Western Literature, Volume 2
- The OASIS Guide to Asperger Syndrome: Completely Revised and Updated: Advice, Support, Insight, and Inspiration
- The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun, Revised Edition: Activities for Kids with Sensory Processing Disorder
- The Prayer of Jabez: Breaking Through to the Blessed Life
- The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage
- The Secret of the Minstrel's Guitar (The Dana Girls, 5)
- The Ultimates, Vol. 1
- Tome of Magic: Pact, Shadow, and TrueName Magic (Dungeons & Dragons d20 3.5 Fantasy Roleplaying Supplement)
Books Index
Books Home
Recommended Books
- Southwest Indian Designs CD-ROM and Book
- Haunted Castle on Hallow's Eve
- Working Safely With Chemicals In the Lab
- Anil's Ghost: A Novel
- Dark Lover
- History: Fiction or Science
- Donation of Time - The Supreme Charity
- Transformations in Late Eighteenth Century Art
- American Culture Between the Wars: Revisionary Modernism and Postmodern Critique
- Memoirs of Gen. W. T. Sherman Vol. 1 of 2
The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed
The Art of Seduction
The Layguide: How to Seduce Women More Beautiful Than You Ever Dreamed Possible No Matter What You Look Like or How Much You Make
Get Anyone to Do Anything: Never Feel Powerless Again--With Psychological Secrets to Control and Influence Every Situation
NLP: The New Technology of Achievement
