In this breakthrough guide, renowned riding expert Gincy Self Bucklin offers adult riders a unique, proven method for developing a good physical, mental, and emotional relationship with a horse. Whether you're a beginner, a more experienced rider looking to enhance your skills, or someone who used to ride but is reluctant to try again, Bucklin's step-by-step exercises-slowly and carefully practiced first on the ground and then on your horse-will have you riding with confidence and without fear. You'll build a safe and caring partnership with your horse as you:
"If you' ve ever said to yourself, `Why can' t I . . . ?,' you' ll find the answer here to why you can' t, and exactly how to solve the problem. Whatever your level, you'll gain greater understanding and become a better rider and horseman from reading this book."
-George H. Morris, internationally renowned clinician, USEF Show Jumping vice-president, ARIA master instructor, and member of the U. S. Equestrian Federation Board of Directors
"How Your Horse Wants You To Ride is chock full of innovative and practical tools presented in a thoroughly entertaining style. A delightful read for riders at all levels!"
-Jane Savoie, olympic alternate and author of That Winning Feeling!, Cross Train Your Horse, More Cross Training, and It's Not Just About the Ribbons
Written by a renowned riding expert, this unique guide offers adult amateur riders a proven method for building a good physical, mental, and emotional relationship with a horse. Step-by-step skill-building exercises-first on the ground and then on the horse-help riders gain confidence, understand how their actions affect the horse, and communicate with the horse to gain his trust.
Gincy Self Bucklin (Narragansett, RI) is an accomplished riding instructor with more than 50 years' experience. She is the author of What Your Horse Wants You to Know (0-7645-4085-8).
How amusing! This book gives you so much very needed information to help you in every aspect of horsemanship. From the ground to cantering and more importantly the very important confidence that you need. I really can't say enough about this.....simply an excellent book! Written in a manner for any level of rider. This one will remain at the front of your bookshelf!
Book Description
If your lover has left you...
If your relationship is on the edge, and you feel fragile and out of control...
If you regret walking out...
If you're not sure you want your lover back, but you need to understand what happened...
You do have a second chance--if you know what has to come first.
Falling in and out of love is a natural process that can be understood and mastered. Love properly understood can be love regained and kept alive for a lifetime.
This step-by-step approach developed by psychiatrist Blase Harris works. It has worked for the people in this book. And now it can work for you. Dr. Harris's practical guide shows you how to avoid the common mistakes ex-lovers make, love 100 percent, and get your lover back!
Customer Reviews:
Hmm No the best.......2007-10-17
Hi. I did not get my love back. I did follow the advice very well in this book. Flower for two weeks straight, writing apology letters, letting them know dating some one else is good and you want them to be happy, but it did not work. I even took the test in the beginning of the book and scored high, showing me I had a good chance of getting me love back, but My love did not love herself and started are relationship trying to find that in me. She left me and started to do the same thing with some one else a day later. Actually she left someone before she started dating me. I guess if she was healthy, the book may have worked. This is such a touchy area. See if you really love some one it is worth a try. Maybe I did not really love my love, and suffer from something as well. It is okay to get your love back if you are not hurting yourself. Besides if you do not try you may regret it latter. Good luck
Good read even if your not trying to win a lover back.......2007-08-31
good read on how to love people, but not over love and how to get them to love you, and helps to understand why people in love do the things they do, and helpfull in dealing with impaired lovers.
Good book.......2007-07-08
Very nice reading, easy and makes you want to change your own actions... i got my lover back with this book :)
Helped me to meet my husband,.......2007-07-05
I bought this book with the hope of getting back my first love. However, he had already moved out and had no intentions to come back with me. I was devasted and very sad, anything was working and I started to think this book was just an utopia: the more I showed I was there for him, the more he wanted to run away.
One day, he just told me the true:
"I know what you want and I'm never going to go back with you". "You will need to find somebody else and start over" and hanged out the phone (so many times).
Holding to the happy times with him, I kept my hopes and continued reading the book anyway, I wanted to know what went wrong with my first love and to do better if I ever had a chance with him again. I stopped calling him and gave him a long space. In the inter (it was a very loooong space) I met my husband (a sweet guy, family oriented and, like me, willing to start over and give/receive love), and in less than one year we were engaged. We just had a baby boy and want more babies soon.
My first love was right, I applied the improved me in my actual relationship and I'm very happy! I'm sure that he never tried to hurt me, he was just trying to help me to move on too.
Love you first and so you can love 100%. I'm agree with most of the reviews, this book is for men who negleted their women; but for women, we just go on with our life and learn from mistakes, and DON'T CALL HIM IF HE DOESN'T.
Silly title but a wake up call to grow up.......2006-06-14
I just came across this on Amazon. I read it over 10 years ago after a break up when I knew I didn't want to do the same old "sour grapes, who needed him" bull. I remember loving the book and trying it all, taking the higher road, feeling the grief and really trying to be his friend and supportive. I really gave the book a shot and 10 years later I am still married to my best friend in the world, the guy I read the book regarding. I can't attribute it all to one book but this is a great start at getting clear, taking responsibility and growing up emotionally. I recommend it and therapy and know that the right relationship will reveal itself if you do the footwork. I did find this book at the exact right moment and if you can get past the title I think it has a lot to offer.
Average customer rating:
- Much needed insight
- Dr. Gray in another of his Mars Venus books
- A new start is always good
- excellent guidance for moving on/& letting go of pain/hurt
- THE GOSPEL TRUTH AND "FOREWARNED IS FOREARMED"
|
Mars and Venus Starting Over: A Practical Guide for Finding Love Again After a Painful Breakup, Divorce, or the Loss of a Loved One
John Gray
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ASIN: 0060930276
Release Date: 2005-03-01 |
Amazon.com
A breakup, divorce, or loss of a loved one isn't just the end of your relationship with that person. It's a continuation of every feeling of abandonment you've ever suffered. It's the loss of a system of approval you'd come to depend on. The struggle, as Gray points out in Starting Over, isn't just to find a new partner, but to get over those feelings of abandonment or loss or anger or whatever else gets dredged up by the end of a relationship.
Perhaps the book's most crucial chapter posits that the best way to get over the loss of love is to focus on the "love" more than the "loss." That may seem impossible, especially if the bum took off with your best friend, your life savings, and your Lyle Lovett CDs, but Gray didn't get to be a household name because the advice in his Venus and Mars books doesn't work. Remembering only the bad parts, Gray says, leaves you with an important part of your emotional being closed to new business.
As for the Venus and Mars stuff, that comes in the second half of the book, when Gray looks at how men and women start new relationships from different points of view, with different priorities (a man might want to have fun with no strings attached; a woman might carry with her a lengthy list of requirements for her next partner, a list that excludes virtually all available men).
If you've never read Gray's work before, you have to be prepared to check your cynicism at the door. This is earnest stuff, but it's also based on decades of experience counseling clients. He's not one of those photogenic, nine-times-divorced shrinklets who's telling you how to conduct your relationships without any real clue of what makes love last. This is the real package: nothing glib, nothing quick and easy, nothing you could've figured out from a "Love Is..." cartoon.
Book Description
Is it possible to find love again after a breakup, death, or divorce?
At the end of a relationship, it can sometimes feel like the end of the world. Devastation, loneliness, and bitterness are some emotions that exist due to a breakup, divorce, or the loss of a loved one. But with the help of this compassionate guide, Dr. John Gray expresses that you will survive and tells you how to find love again.
While the process of healing is similar with both sexes, there are distinct differences between the ways men and women heal their bruised hearts. In Mars and Venus Starting Over, Dr. Gray offers gender-specific advice on how to:
- Deal with pain
- Find forgiveness
- Discover the strength to let go
- Rebuild confidence
- Rise to the challenge of finding fulfillment again
Filled with gentle guidance, healing practices, and compassionate wisdom, Mars and Venus Starting Over will help men and women explore the meaning of loss, find their way through the healing process, and discover the secret to moving on.
Customer Reviews:
Much needed insight.......2007-05-16
This book is insightfully written and is valuable in making relationships (of all kinds, not just romantic ones)work when dealing with someone who has experience the trauma of relationship loss. John Gray's entire series help take the sting out of interpersonal relationships by shining light on reactions that are not actually personal in intent but common across most people. This makes it easier to get along with other people and to avoid some basic male-female relating mistakes.
Dr. Gray in another of his Mars Venus books.......2007-01-20
These books are getting old. Same story as the last... same story as the next. Easiest way to get over someone is to get under someone ELSE!
A new start is always good.......2006-11-16
You don't have to divorce or die to start over. This is a good book to read for people who just need see their relationship from a different perspective or view. Relationships don't have to end to "start over". This is a book that can help you reevaluate your life and your relationships. The loss of a "loved one" does not always have to be permanent.
excellent guidance for moving on/& letting go of pain/hurt.......2006-09-29
typical John Gray take on male/female differences in dealing with loss, break-ups, or divorce, I found myself learning more & realizing what we tend to do without awareness when we have had our hearts broken & life altered, especially after any long-term marriage/relationship of 20+ years, it is not only a loss/death of a marriage, it is a total change of life-style, mind-set,& new set of rules, but what John Gray helped me to see is without healing properly from this event or any major loss, that if we don't grieve, & feel all the emotions from sadness, sorrow, fear, to anger we can't release the unhealthy part of that relationship & move forward to love & be more balanced in a new relationship, I think it will help me & others who have a desire to grow & be more balanced, without as John says by (giving too much or avoiding intimacy) I would advise this to anyone ready to move forward in their life with a open heart towards others.
THE GOSPEL TRUTH AND "FOREWARNED IS FOREARMED".......2005-09-24
This is the first book that clarified for me what men are doing when they use women the way they do after they get divorced. I'm a coach who works with midlife daters, and I see it all the time. I hoped it was just a few bad apples. Evidentally not. According to Gray, it's more the norm. That's like finding out there isn't a Santa Claus ... an illusion destroyed, but good to know, because a man "in transition" is simply not available emotionally, yet can be the most romantic and ardent seducer the woman has ever had, so she never sees it coming. He gets his ego back together and drops her like a hot potato.
The term "on the rebound" has been with us for decades. Believe it.
This book explains what we see -- men getting attached to the first woman who shows up at their wife's funeral "with a casserole and cleavage", so good women, women who think that's rude don't have a chance...but Gray clarifies what they're missing isn't much. (You tell me some go ahead and marry? Yes, and this might explain the 70% second-marriage divorce rate.)
Women tell me how frustrating the timing is because men grab a woman so fast, or more specifically, "the love of a woman," as Gray calls it, his need being what's important, not what woman it may be.
So what do we have here? Women, who tend, as Gray says, to wait too long coming upon men who are moving too fast ... there's an element of desperation there, and ... IT CERTAINLY EXPLAINS A LOT.
This is not a pretty picture, as other reviewers have mentioned.
Do women do this? Yes, but it isn't damaging because men are the recipients, and men typically can get sexually involved without getting emotionally involved. And ... women are more willing not to "use" men during this period, realizing they have nothing to offer (until healed). (As we learn in EQ research, women test higher in "social responsibility.") As Gray points out. What women and men both need to do is to pray for good timing (j.k., but hey, it IS IS "mars and venus" remember?)
Is this book helpful? Definitely. And about like a spoonful of medicine. It is excellent, truly excellent about explaining the dynamics and you may not like it, but you may be very, very glad you read it. Knowledge is power.
Is the book helpful for changing what may be inevitable? Only with awareness. What we can learn from this book is what might work better: (1) women who don't wait "too long" spending their time taking care of people, so when they do meet someone viable, they're on the desperate-edge; (2) men who can control their desperate loneliness after their woman leaves them (too bad they don't appreciate it until it's gone) and, as gentlemen, 'use' only women during this period who agree to it (every pot has a lid); (3) ergo, as much honesty on the part of both parties as is possible ... but the thing is, desperate people prevaricate; (4) women realizing there are few women who can engage in recreational sex and not get emotionally involved; (5) learning the signs of a man or woman who is not available (read the book); (5) knowing what you want and what it looks like (read the book, get coaching). (And it's great on how to heal and move on.)
So many great men and great women meet one another at the wrong time ... when the other one is just "starting over." (Hey, let 'em cut their teeth on someone else. If you think you're "different," read the book.)
Book Description
For the millions who loved A Year by the Sea comes a memoir of a woman who awakens at midlife to find wisdom in a most unlikely place
In this lovely, unconventional, often funny memoir, we meet Catherine Goldhammer, newly separated and several tax brackets poorer, forced by circumstance to move from the affluent New England suburb of her daughter's childhood into a new, more rustic life by the sea. Against all logic, partly to please her daughter and partly for reasons not clear to her at the time, she begins this year of transition by purchasing six baby chickens-whose job, she comes to suspect, is to pull her and her daughter forward, out of one life and into another.
As she gradually transforms her new house, nine hundred feet from the sea-with its tawdry exterior but radiant soul-tile by tile, flower bed by flower bed, as she watches her precocious twelve-year-old daughter blossom into a stylish and sophisticated teenager, and as she tends to the needs of six enigmatic chickens, Catherine's life starts to slowly shift from chaos to grace. Beautifully written and ultimately inspiring, Still Life with Chickens is an unforgettable lesson in hope, in starting over, and in the transcendent wisdom that can often be found in the most unlikely of places.
Customer Reviews:
Good book.......2007-10-09
I bought this book because I have pet chickens. The story was great and I really related to the chicken stories.
A spoiled, snob's life with chickens.......2007-10-02
After reading reviews for this book I expected to be moved and inspired. Instead, I was angry and insulted on behalf of all women. Catherine is obviously very wealthy and well-connected and comes out well in her divorce, seeing as how she doesn't need to work (other than directing some contractors to fix up her lovely house by the sea). She quits her part-time job as an aide in a wealthy school because a voice tells her, "Don't go in there!" As an inner city school teacher now for 15 years who has always supported herself, I would love to call it quits but that isn't an option because I would starve. Ms. Goldhammer insults all women who do it all and then some everyday and don't have "hundreds of people" behind their possible book, money for an agent and lots of connections in high places. If this isn't bad enough, Ms. Goldhammer continuously hammers us at every turn with more boasts and brags about her mediocre daughter. Rarely has a book left me so angry. I guess the only good thing about this book is it made me realize that next to Catherine Goldhammer, I must be Superwoman!
'twas cute.......2007-09-16
This is a cute, beach-type book. Doesn't take much concentration to read it - though the author tries to insert a few insights here and there. It is interesting enough to hold concentration, and there are a few smiles along the way....
10 stars.......2007-09-03
Since I am from the Boston area, I really wanted to read this book. It is beautiful. What a lovely simple story of a real woman and her daughter. It was fast and smooth reading. I would love to see a sequel! The writing reminded me of a writer named Gladys Tabor who wrote similar stories about 50 years ago. Read this wonderful book and enjoy!
Chickens keep you sane........2007-08-16
This book though it dealt with a topic plaguing this world today divorce, it was fast paced and a very enjoyable read. The divorce was not the topic but surviving was. It seemed to me that we all could enjoy this book and learn from it, what you amy ask, well find the funny and laugh, look to tomorrow if today is really bad and realize that if you sit still and see or hear what gives you pleasure or joy its okay to find peace in it
Customer Reviews:
---This is the old, 2000 edition--- .......2007-05-23
Please refer to the 2006 expanded, second edition. Just click on either author above.
5+++.......2007-03-17
Easy read, that helps make so much sense after coming out of an abusive marriage. It helps to make sense of the situation and how one might have gotten their- without the blame.If you were ever abused, mentally, physically, emotionally, this is a book for you.
A must read for anyone who has experienced domestic violence.......2006-03-01
I could not put this book down, I carried it with me everywhere it helped me regain my sanity after a very abusive relationship.
A brilliant read - you will find yourself on every page. You are not alone. An important book for recovery.
This book is like a best friend with real answers.......2005-06-23
To begin with, I did not know I was in an abusive relationship, until my friend mentioned to me the word 'emotional abuse'. I researched on the topic and found a lot of great information on the subject. The one thing I didn't find was WHAT THE HECK TO DO after you leave the abusive relationship.
I read "Why Does He Do That" by Lundy, and it was great..I got into the mind of my tormentor. My experience was a bit different, since my abuser left ME!!! it was a double slap in the face, and just another way he walked all over me...I learned that from this book. After reading so much about the abuser and victim, you begin to feel a sense of desolation. But Dugan's book focuses on YOU.
Dugan examines all the cliches associated with a post-abusive relationship, even talks about our friends' roles in our new life. She sympathizes with our feelings, and goes even further toward making you sympathize with your own feelings (something you could never do in an abusive relationship).
Therefore, I highly recommend this book to anyone, anywhere suffering the pain of loss. The author truly understands the victim's feelings, and leaves the abuser by the way side (as he should be).There's a reason this book is called "It's My Life Now" and very appropriately.
This book kept me sane........2005-04-13
This book was a life-line for me right after I left my husband. I never thought that I could be in an abusive relationship. I am educated, strong and smart. But I was. This book helped me to deal with accepting it and to heal. It's the only book I recommend to anyone who thinks they might be in an abusive relationship.
Book Description
Entrepreneur Stuart Skorman—the founder of Elephant Pharmacy, Hungryminds.com, Reel.com, and Empire Video—grew up in a retailing family in Ohio. He worked every kind of job, from cab driver to professional poker player to CEO. In this entertaining, personal account of his coming-of- age in the business world, Skorman gives an insider’s view of what it takes to start a business from the ground up.
Stuart Skorman offers his hard-won lessons in business for any entrepreneur or small businessperson who wants to create a company that has a heart and soul. He reveals what he learned about marketing while working a stint as a rock band manager and bares his soul about his failure during the dot-com bubble. He describes in vivid terms the roller coaster ride of the entrepreneur in good times and bad and explains how to survive in today’s uncertain business environment.
Customer Reviews:
Interesting Read but a Bit Light on Entreprenuership How To.......2007-06-28
Good quick read about a man that stumbled into being a lifelong entreprenuer because he could see opportunities and was not afraid to start businesses to exploit them. I admire the author because he is introspective enought to realize what he is good at and what he is not and how that effects his ability to start and grow companies. He admits his mistakes but gives you insight into what are the key lessons he learned. The author recognizes that fanatical focus on providing a great customer experience and customer service will build customer loyality that will allow you to overcome the mistakes that small-growing businesses make. Larger established companies should re-learn this lesson. The bottom line from this book is the Nike slogan, "Just Do It!".If you want to learn more about starting a business I would suggest other books like the Art of the Start The Art of the Start: The Time-Tested, Battle-Hardened Guide for Anyone Starting Anything, or the classic entreprenuership book by Paul Hawken, Growing a Business Growing a Business.
A great read.......2007-05-06
If you think you've got the entrepreneurial spirit and want to embark on the startup journey, read the book by someone who's taken the trip.
Even if you're not an entrepreneur this book will provide a window into how extraordinary people take business risks.
What a ride and a great read.
Thanks for sharing it.
p.s. in addiiton to a great startup story, if you are interesting in the process of startups there are some good tactical texts on how to avoid some of the bumps i.e. see: The Four Steps to the Epiphany or for pure strategy The Innovator's Dilemma: The Revolutionary Book that Will Change the Way You Do Business (Collins Business Essentials)
Laugh out loud funny!.......2007-03-31
Skorman gives an insider's view of what it takes to start a business from the ground up. He offers his hard-won lessons in business for any entrepreneur or small businessperson who wants to create a company that has a heart and soul.
[...].
Painful Entrepreneurial Lessons Reported in Good Humor.......2007-03-25
People who think they want to be entrepreneurs should read this book. In life, you can either fall down to learn all of your own lessons or you can pay attention to and learn from other peoples' experiences. I recommend the latter approach and Mr. Skorman provides an easy-to-read memoir that you can easily absorb. His range of experience will probably cover something that you are thinking about doing. I commend him for choosing to ask Catherine Guthrie to help him write the book; it flows more smoothly than 99% of the business memoirs you'll read.
I work with dozens of would-be entrepreneurs at any given time. Their motivations vary. Some want to create a huge business. Others just want to establish a business they would be proud of. Still others want to establish a certain kind of lifestyle. Some want to escape the humdrum qualities of their lives. A few have an idealistic vision of what a business could do for others. At various times, Mr. Skorman tried all of these approaches and candidly assesses the pros and cons of those perspectives.
When I first meet them, the would-be entrepreneurs have three things in common:
1. They have no idea of how to prepare to be an entrepreneur.
2. They don't understand the various processes to use in establishing a successful new business.
3. They are in a hurry.
In addition, most of would-be entrepreneurs have no understanding of how to think about customers and what might appeal to customers.
As a result, they employ what I like to call the "fire, ready, aim" school of entrepreneurship. That approach can work just fine . . . as long as you have enough energy, capital, and patience.
Most entrepreneurs are self-taught: They learn by accumulating bumps and bruises. That learning process is, however, so painful that they either don't want to talk about it or develop amnesia as time passes.
Stuart Skorman's memoir is a great resource for inexperienced entrepreneurs because he does remember how he got where he is and is willing to share with you. You follow along while he goes from starting up one venture to another and get a candid look at what he did right and wrong, and why that happened. In his biggest success, he freely describes how not paying enough attention to a deal he needed to make and to technological development cost him most of what he could have gained. You'll be there, too. When you are, remember his example.
I also find that would-be entrepreneurs think they will be married to their business for life. In drawing that conclusion, they deny themselves the opportunity to experience the joy of creation all over again . . . but with more resources and experience to guide them. I don't recall another book where an entrepreneur so often moved on to start a new enterprise and in another industry as often as Mr. Skorman has. You'll be fascinated.
Why is it that most entrepreneurs cannot repeat their success in another industry? Success is very much influenced by being in the right place at the right time with the right resources and skills. Miss one of those elements and the next enterprise may be a loser.
Mr. Skorman is also a very interesting fellow when he's not starting-up businesses. He spent the Summer of Love in San Francisco. He did a cross-country bicycle jaunt by himself. He spent two years earning a living as a professional poker player. He also managed a rock band. You'll enjoy those parts, too.
In understanding Mr. Skorman's perspective, it's helpful to remember that he is primarily a marketing thinker who sees deep needs that aren't being met and can conceptualize very extreme ways to improve on what exists. That talent is best exhibited in his experience with Empire Video where he conceptualized a whole new approach to video rental stores that greatly expanded the market in the geographies that he served. I suggest that you read that case with the most attention for what's needed to succeed. There were few false steps because he deeply understood the needs of video renters. I was so impressed with this case that I summarized it for some of my entrepreneurial students.
At the opposite end of the spectrum, read the case of Elephant Pharmacy to show you how wealth and comfort can induce bad habits into what may well be a good business idea. As the ultimate story of "ready, fire, aim" I commend his story of HungryMinds.com.
Although the chapters end up with entrepreneurial lessons, I suggest that you think of these not as general lessons . . . but rather as the lessons than you can draw from Mr. Skorman's example. He didn't study what other entrepreneurs do and don't do, so you shouldn't treat this book as a literal business text. It's more like an annotated series of cases.
As his career evolves in the future, I hope Mr. Skorman will favor us with an updated edition of this book at some point.
Inspiring and fun to read.......2007-03-13
This is one of those well written book that you can't stop reading. Stuart Skorman shares his story with tears and joys. Unlike some entrepreneur books shares only the glory, there are many humble confessions and valuable lessons to learn for both seasonal and start-up entrepreneurs.
Book Description
This is the first book to reveal the truth about the exploding phenomenon of late-life divorce, which has resulted in a seismic shift in modern relationships. Now, in a finger-on-the-pulse examination of this growing trend, Deirdre Bair, New York Times bestselling author and winner of the National Book Award, explores the many reasons why older, long-married couples break up. Having conducted nearly four hundred interviews with ex-wives, ex-husbands, and their adult children, Bair reveals some of the surprising motivations that lead to these drastic late-life splits, as well as the surprising turns life takes for all concerned after the divorce is final.
Although the standard assumption is that husbands trade in their spouses for younger trophy wives, Bair has found that, most often, women initiate these divorces because they want the freedom to control how they will live the rest of their lives. The realization may appear to happen suddenly, but Bair shows how it often takes many years and much careful planning before the ultimate “Eureka!” moment. We see that for one woman it happened when she asked her husband to help in the kitchen and he shouted angrily for her to keep her voice down so he could hear the television. For one couple, the decision to end their marriage arrived when the wife condemned their unmarried adult daughter for having a baby and her husband sided with the daughter, leading both partners to realize that they had never had anything in common. One woman in her eighties, married for fifty-three years, woke up after transplant surgery and announced to her husband: “I don’t know how many years I have left, but I do know I don’t want to spend them with you.”
Bair describes current trends in late-life divorece, including the growing use of “mediators,” whom many couples see as lower-cost alternatives to lawyers. She also provides fascinating examples of how people cope in the years after divorce. Divorce changes older peoples’ sex lives in surprising ways, and Bair is candid in discussing what really goes on in their bedrooms. She presents the stories of those who elect to stay single after divorce, of others who remarry immediately, and of those who are puzzled to find themselves divorcing yet again. As Bair’s subjects rebuild their lives, the reader wills see new possibilities for living in “the third age,” and may be inspired to realize that there is indeed life after divorce–and plenty of it.
Important, eye-opening, and truly groundbreaking, Calling It Quits is essential reading for an entire generation and its children,–and an acclaimed author’s most personal and most universal work.
Customer Reviews:
pet rocks.......2007-07-19
I am almost finished reading this book, after a friend who is divorcing after thirty years of marriage recommended it to me. I am not married and am not getting divorced, but I was fascinated by the book anyway.
The main lesson I took from the many stories in the book is that the richer the man is that you're married to, the more you are likely to get screwed in the marriage and in the divorce. The CEOs come across as the worst possible men to be married to, and also the worst to get divorced from. They have multiple affairs and lie about them, and they hide assets, and they do this to serial wives.
The most shocking thing I learned from this book is that many judges and lawyers, even female ones, have very little respect for women who have been homemakers most of their lives. They call these women "pet rocks." I am serious. Never mind that some of them probably have mothers of their own who weren't full-time career women. Ex-husbands who are looking forward to a comfortable retirement think that their wives can retrain and start working in their mid-seventies! And sometimes they get lawyers and judges to agree with them! One of my friends worked at a low-wage job and raised her children for years. When she got divorced, the judge decided that she could be "rehabilitated" (his words), as if she was a felon. This meant that she could be trained for higher wage work and therefore did not deserve much in the way of support from her ex-husband. Now she's a teacher, a barely middle-class job nowadays.
The sad truth seems to be that raising children well by hand one at a time is never going to get you any respect or gratitude, even from people who say they think that children need a mom at home. Our culture only respects hyper individualism, me-first greed, and capitalism run amok.
This is not to say that old women shouldn't get divorced. They should. My point is that we should change our public policy so that homemaking and childrearing get some respect, in the form of wages and benefits. The other possibility is that we should stop doing it until we got some respect, wages, and benefits.
Mesmerizing.......2007-05-05
It's quite true that Bair offers no nostrums for late-life divorces that shock adult children and other family members or friends. It's equally true that reading these stories if you're looking at a (very long) retirement with someone you have little in common with is to touch base with a personal reality NEVER otherwise discussed in mainstream media. You'll never see 75-year-old women on Oprah who want out of very long marriages but they definitely exist.
It's no mystery why. Men retire from a *job*, usually with a whole set of fantasies about their future, but women are not allowed to retire from taking care of men and houses because it's not "real work." The only way to "quit" is to separate and ultimately divorce.
Don't think Grandma might want to dump Grandpa? Read this book!
Adult Child of Divorce.......2007-03-12
I read a review about the book when it came out and had to get my hands on a copy. My parents were planning on getting a divorce after thirty years of marriage. I tried to find a book about adult children of divorce, but couldn't find anything at the time. I bought this book because it had info about ACOD. The interviews gave me insight as to what my parents might have felt and what led them to getting a divorce. I believe it could have been better, if it had more analysis. Bier is not a psychologist, so I felt like she could have pressed her subjects for more info and a deeper insight to their actions. I did feel that it was a well researched book.
When I bought this book, I also came across another book that was helpful, The Way They Were. That book specifically deals with ACOD. It's a must read for the children as well as the parents who are affected by later life divorce.
U R Not Alone.......2007-03-09
Very helpful book - helps explain reasons for this cultural change in our society. Also gives very good coping tips for those *left behind*. Very correct description of adult children's "devastation".
Thorough and full of real life stories.......2007-03-08
Really covered the issues and emotions involved - from both male and female perspectives - in making the decision to leave a long marriage. The interview format of the book was well-organized, and allowed it to be both authentic and an interesting read.
Book Description
Those who have never experienced an abusive or violent relationship often believe that upon finding her way out, a victim's difficulties are solved: her life is good, she is safe, and her recovery will be swift. Survivors know that leaving is not the end of the nightmare, it is the beginning of a difficult journey toward healing and happiness. It's My Life Now offers readers the practical guidance, emotional reassurance, and psychological awareness that female survivors of relationship abuse and domestic violence need to heal and reclaim their lives after leaving their abusers. Since its publication in 2000, It's My Life Now has been highly successful as a working manual for women who are starting their lives over after an abusive relationship, combining guidance on practical and emotional issues with worksheets and self-exploration exercises. In the second edition, Dugan and Hock include updated information and resources while encompassing a wider range of individuals.
Download Description
A book for women who have recently left an abusive relationship. It provides accessible practical information on how to protect yourself once you've left the relationship and how to get through the difficult emotions that accompany leaving.
Customer Reviews:
Great Book!.......2007-07-30
I left an abusive relationship and kept wondering why me? This book really helped me see what happened and why I stayed as long as I did. I really could relate to the book well and it helped a lot with the healing process.
Very Helpful and Healing.......2007-01-10
This was a great book. It was never boring and was always on point. The exercises are so helpful and healing. It's like a counseling session everytime you open the book.
From handling feels of loss to overcoming feelings associated with having loved an abuser.......2006-08-17
Meg Kennedy Dugan is Director of the Victim Assistance Program in New Hampshire and co-author Roger Hock is a Professor of Psychology: the two join forces and expertise to provide the updated second edition of IT'S MY LIFE NOW: STARTING OVER AFTER AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP OR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. Life after getting out of such a relationship often continues to be a struggle, and IT'S MY LIFE NOW offers guidance to overcoming common pitfalls, blending worksheets with insights on self exploration and ongoing growth. From handling feels of loss to overcoming feelings associated with having loved an abuser, IT'S MY LIFE NOW continues to offer invaluable lessons.
Diane C. Donovan
California Bookwatch
Average customer rating:
- Transforming & loving it
- Teaching You the Simplicity of Achieving Self Empowerment
- Individual and Powerful
- Starting Your Life Over
- STARTING OVER
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Individual Power: Reclaiming Your Core, Your Truth, and Your Life
Barbara Rose
Manufacturer: Rose Group
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
Love & Romance
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Spiritual
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Mysticism
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ASIN: 097414570X
Release Date: 2007-02-16 |
Product Description
Whether you\'ve reached the top of the heap or lost it all. . .whether you\'re happily married, hopelessly in love, or unbearably lonely. . . whether you\'re secure in your faith or trembling with uncertainty. . .Individual Power will show you how to identify what you need to fulfill your life - and how to make it happen.
Customer Reviews:
Transforming & loving it.......2007-01-17
This book was wonderfully inspiring. It seemed to be herbs for the spirit - mind - soul. I thoroughly enjoyed and absorbed every information, piece by piece, line by line. I recommend this book to the lost, confused, not sure, unbalanced and the trying to put together the pieces to all. This book is very nice, easily comprehended, not too much to understand. Thank you Barbara for sharing, i hope to do the same one day. Penny :)
Teaching You the Simplicity of Achieving Self Empowerment.......2006-09-17
I knew I would love this book from the moment I started reading it! Barbara Rose puts it simple, but not understated. Some of my favorite lines, "But we do have individual power to create rainbows from the rivers of tears we have shed." and "The truth shall set you free. If you do settle for less, then you are not living your truth. You are, once again, riding your river with each leg in a different canoe, where pain is the only possible result." One constant that runs through all of Barbara's books is she teaches and shares straight from her heart; sharing some of her most painful experiences to give the reader real life examples of how to overcome the challenges many of us face in our lifetime. Individual Power is a book filled with inspiration and clear-cut tools for personal transformation. So personal, so real, so simple, but profound. When you come to the end, believing you are done, you will feel inspired to fully transform your life. Then a surprise gift, an "afterword", sharing a letter filled with divine wisdom. Barbara is once again far exceeding her goal to uplift humanity one book at a time!
Individual and Powerful.......2006-08-05
Barbara Rose opens up her soul in a rare manner bringing her own unique expression of love and loss, fear and courage, tragedy and triumph, along with sharing how to make a difference from what previously knocked her down in life. She shows how to get up again, and how to make a difference for others along the way.
This is a classic book for igniting individual power and a life with meaning, the kind that is an example to emulate.
Starting Your Life Over.......2006-07-31
Individual Power explains what 'individual power' is all about, gives you the authors experiences along the way, and teaches you how to start over in life.
It's written in three parts, 'personal empowerment', 'empowering society at large', and 'spiritual evolution'. Each one is unique with good insight in each of the three parts.
I like the authors writing style, you can tell she knows what it's like to hit bottom and start over again.
She advocates for the people from her heart in a clear, objective manner. Something we could use more of in our world.
STARTING OVER.......2006-01-25
If you have reached a point where there is no longer any point in trying to hold on to anything from the past ...... where you must start over ....... where all of your plans have gone sour and you are ready to listen to your heart once again (remember your heart ?) rather than your intellect, or the culture or anybody else, this is a good place to start.
Customer Reviews:
Romantic English Novel Blends Fascinating Characters and Poignant Plotlines.......2007-02-15
Marcia Willett continues a portion of the story first begun in FIRST FRIENDS as she deals with the repercussions from the death of Charlotte Wivenhoe. Hugh Ankerton, the young man on whom Charlotte had a teenage crush, is wrestling with despair and full of self-blame for his part in Charlotte's death. How Charlotte's grieving mother, the multi-layered Cass Wivenhoe, rescues him and helps restore his spirits is a moving tale. Many new characters come into play such as Hugh's parents Frances and Stephen, their good friend Annie Grayshott, her goddaughter Pippa, and the reclusive Max Driver whose plan to fulfill his dream involves all of them.
Willett handles several plots and interweaves them in a compelling story that is rich with family love, friendship, and overcoming life's greatest tragedies. The author even gives us a lavish dose of humor via chats with the departed and through an endearing canine simply known as Mutt.
If you revel in family dramas, love the charm of an English country setting, and appreciate interesting twists, you will truly relish this and all the other novels by the incomparable Marcia Willett.
Another Rosamunde Pilcher !!.......2001-11-24
I found this book at a used book store in England recently. I am a fan of Rosamunde Pilcher( The Shellseekers) I was told that if I liked her then I would enjoy Marcia Willett. They were right! This is an excellent book. In the very best tradition of Pilcher theis story involves great characters and wonderful descriptions of the landscape and great interactions with dogs!! The story centers on a woman who left her husband and daughter for another man and he leaves her. She deeply regrets her affair and seeks to return to her family who can't forgive her. In the course of this she moves to a seaside cottage rentfree so that she can take care of an elderly lady who lives in the house.
The rest of this great story involves several other characters and the relationships that develop when the lady dies leaving her estate to unknown relatives. Please get more of these books she has written several other books!
Books:
- I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was: How to Discover What You Really Want and How to Get It
- I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
- I'm Back for More Cash: A Tony Kornheiser Collection (Because You Can't Take Two Hundred Newspapers into the Bathroom) (Tony Kornheiser Collection)
- It Happened to Nancy: By an Anonymous Teenager, A True Story from Her Diary
- Life Application Study Bible, Indexed, NASB
- Lubricant Additives: Chemistry and Applications (Chemical Industries)
- MCSE Self-Paced Training Kit (Exams 70-290, 70-291, 70-293, 70-294): Microsoft Windows Server 2003 Core Requirements, Second Edition
- Memories of Drop City: The first hippie commune of the 1960's and the Summer of Love
- Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them : When Loving Hurts and You Don't Know Why
- Miss Julia Hits the Road (Southern Comedy of Manners)
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