Tools to help women improve their relationships with manipulative men
In The Manipulative Man, acclaimed psychotherapist Dr. Dorothy McCoy shows readers how to identify the type of manipulative man they're involved with, deal with the issues his behavior provokes, and, ultimately, salvage the relationship-or move on.
Customer Reviews:
Ignore older sour-grape review by author Sandra Brown.......2007-06-04
Please read this book for yourself as the author is writing her second book on this subject in seven years.
Sandra Brown is a later published author who has posted negative feedback, that I think should be deleted by Amazon because it is harrassment and slanderous.
I refer to the older, untrue, adolscent claim by Brown that "... McCoy copied my book..."
What Brown wrote about McCoy's book shows Brown is far from a professional. Why can't Sandra Brown see that her 'feedback' reveals the same ego-centrical, narcisstic personality traits and characteristcs that form the core personality of dangerous men in McCoy and Brown's own book. Moreover, Brown neglects to mention this author's earlier writings and contributions to the social problem of dangerous men, and has no context.
The real truth is that any trained MSW, psychologist, psychiatrist or other mental health professional should easliy be able to identify this type of personality and guide clients to a healthier emotional life; and more true is that people should be free to select from a variety of books on a subject and read the author whose writing style is memorable. It appears that Sandra Brown MA is not much smarter than a bag of rocks and she has shown it with her posting. Every good writer is either an instinctive or compulsive self-editor, but Sandra Brown' posting shows poor judgement and lack of character. I have written all this in the hope that she see the light on how she presents herself to the public.
People rate Brown's online articles with only average effectiveness.
[..]
Possibly Brown, you are most effective in the prison system, counseling the men you write about.
Your public nastyness to another woman author, in the same field lacks integrity and shows immaturity. Amazon should not have let you start a nasty war with another author disguised as feedback.
It's not me..........2006-12-27
This book is a must read for anyone who has found themself in a relationship and second guessed their own sanity. I found myself glued to each chapter, seeing red-flags and finding answers to questions that I would not dare ask anyone. This is a great reference book to be picked up again and again.
The insight gained is invaluable.
The author's style is sprinkled with humor, and the reader is anxious to delve deeper into the human psyche. Once started, you cannot put it down.
Great advice for dealing with Emotional Vampires.
Great book.......2006-12-19
Manipulation doesn't have a gender, so when I read the Manipulative Man I thought of many men and women who would fit the "case" characters in the book. I just wish I had known how to recognize them at the times I was dealing with them and thinking that "I" was the one who was going crazy. I guess that was my first clue. The descriptions in this book make it easy to stop a manipulative person. It is good to know there are things that I can do to protect myself from these high maintenance people. I look at people from a slightly different perspective now. It really is a very readable and insightful book.
Relationship Bible for Women.......2006-12-13
Every woman on planet should have this book it is really powerful!
Philosophy of Wellness.......2006-11-01
Susan Brown, I wish you had talked to me and read my other books before you posted your unwarranted comments. Please notice I also wrote From Shyness to Social Butterfly, in 2001. The suggestions I gave then are the same suggestions I gave in The Manipulative Man. My book, The Ultimate Book of Personality Tests, was published in 2005. If you read it you will see that I use many of the same tests and make some of the same observations.
I have never seen your book. The quote I used from your book came from a Google search. In the academic tradition, I quote many authors (both books and articles).
I did not choose the format or the focus of the content for the Manipulative Man. It was written in the tradition of another book (read the back cover of The Manipulative Man) at the request of the Publisher.
I wrote my first book, a workbook, in 2001 on stress management. It is now a police related workbook called Losing Our Officers to Anger, Stress and Suicide: A Wellness Solution. I have presented on it at three international conferences. It also follows my philosophy for wellness: eat nutritious foods, get plenty of rest, exercise regularly, stay connected to people, know what you can control (and what you cannot), be aware of your cognitions and how they affect your emotions, cherish your sense of humor, value the unique person you are, use cooperation and conflict resolution in relationships, believe behaviors rather than words, be able to recognize unhealthy (and often incongruent) behaviors and don't needlessly upset yourself.
Susan, please read my other books, then we will talk. No doubt, you made an honest mistake. I wish you continued success with your books.
Average customer rating:
- Confessions of an Alan Rosenspan fan!
- Direct Marketing: Secret Weapon Cook Book!
- This is so good, I'm giving it to my clients to read!
- A 'MUST HAVE' for anyone doing marketing and creative
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Confessions of a Control Freak
Alan Rosenspan
Manufacturer: Cyber Classics Inc.
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
ASIN: 1588550648 |
Book Description
A "control" is the best-performing part of your direct markting program. Confessions of a Control Freak is a new book that is designed to help you beat your control, and get the results you want from your next direct marketing program.
Rosenspan doesn't give you just direct marketing theory - just page after page of specific, practical ideas and techniques you can put to use right away.
The book includes dozens of case histories - both successes and failures- and includes chapters on e-mail marketing and advertising as well as direct mail.
Confessions of a Control Freak also includes Rosenspan's valuable list - "101 Ways to Improve Response"
Customer Reviews:
Confessions of an Alan Rosenspan fan!.......2004-03-23
Alan's book is the best. I make all our staff read it -- and read it again. I give it to clients. I give it to prospective clients. Our business is growing. Need I say more? Thanks, Alan!
Direct Marketing: Secret Weapon Cook Book!.......2003-08-08
Get this book if you do any direct marketing. Grab a high lighter, a note pad and dig in! The book is packed with practical useful ideas that you can "borrowor or research" into your or a clients campaigns. There's new concepts and the good ole' tried and true -- that will contine to resurface simply because they work -- like many of the ideas and concepts presented here. The reading is interesting, fast and easy. Plus, serves as a refresher and reminder for the newbie and seasoned direct marketing professional alike. Alan's book... like all his articles, are required reading at this consultancy.
This is so good, I'm giving it to my clients to read!.......2003-06-22
Alan's book is the best I've read in a long time on direct marketing, on advertising and on marketing. It is filled with such great examples and solutions to marketing problems -- issues that span a wide variety of industries from utilities to credit cards, telecommunications to retailing -- that I now use this book for teaching.
It's a pleasure to read, and is so well written, in fact, that it's hard to remember this is a solid business book. I recently gave this book as a gift to a CEO of one of this country's largest companies -- and he has since recommended it to his marketing department.
So not only does the advice in this book help you win on the marketing front, it may well help you win new friends!
A 'MUST HAVE' for anyone doing marketing and creative.......2002-11-13
If you do advertising creative work...if you work with advertising creatives...and especially if you're doing any direct marketing...this is the book for you! I believe it's absolutely THE textbook/workbook for this new decade of direct marketing, whether you're doing mail, email, web or advertising.
Alan Rosenspan's warm and engaging style shows throughout the book ... it's easy to see why his seminars on DM Creative Strategy and Copywriting fill up wherever he goes.
Loaded with samples of some of the most successful direct marketing EVER, you also find ideas and exercises guaranteed to get you thinking in a new way that will provide you breakthroughs in your next marketing effort.
This compelling book is fun to read and learn from. I'd like to get this into every client's office, and I believe there would be a lot less wasted dollars if this were mandatory reading for every advertising and marketing creative. Along with creative strategy, this book clearly defines offer strategy, and it also includes "shoestring-budget" solutions that blast through to success.
As an advanced practitioner of creative work for marketing, I've found the book to be a 'brain trust' -- a great log-jam-breaker to provide dialogue and actionable ideas.
In short, this book is the perfect partner for your creative team -- quick to read, entertaining and highly effective as a tool to more successful creative work.
Book Description
If there are "power-crazed, difficult people" in your life, this well-researched and insightful guide will give you the necessary tools to deal with them. Do you have a boss who appears to find pleasure in browbeating and humiliating you? A co-worker who tries to sabotage you? Maybe even a family member who makes you feel worthless?
They're all here, and best-selling psychology author David L. Weiner explains why they act the way they do and what you can do to prevent them from making your life a living hell!
In a competitive world increasingly dominated by intense corporate cultures, this brilliant study in organizational psychology will help you swim safely through shark-infested waters.
Customer Reviews:
Power Freaks is a real page turner!.......2006-11-04
If you have ever wondered what was wrong with you and why people treated you the way they did, then read this book. It makes you realize that the problem isn't you... Power Freaks explains why people behave the way they do, and why and how they manipulate you. It makes you realize that you aren't the crazy one...they are. A true help for building your self esteem. It not only answers all the why questions, but it tells you exactly how to deal with these type people.
Sucking Up 101.......2004-02-24
This book was very disappointing. David Weiner devotes most of his book, "Power Freaks: Dealing with them in the workplace or anyplace" to defining the power freak rather than dealing with the power freak. In addition to his lengthy descriptions of each type of power freak, Weiner's book is filled with pointless second hand stories and a large number of quotes from other books on the same subject. Could it be Mr. Weiner didn't have enough of an opinion of his own to fill up an entire book? When he finaly does get down to the nuts and bolts of how to deal with power freaks, his advice is basicaly suck up or shut up.
I'm glad I checked this book out from the library and didn't spend any money on it. I hope you'll do the same.
Once Upon a Time.......2003-09-13
They are everywhere. We would be living in a fairytale world if we didn't have to deal with the dragons...those "Power Freaks." But since this is the real world we need the dragon fighting sword that our "Knight in Shining Armor" Weiner has supplied us with. He has described almost every possible power freak you might encounter in life and has supplied us with ways to deal with them. "Power "Freaks" is an easy reading book and takes no time at all to get through. The dragons aren't as frightening after all...you just need to know how to deal with them. I recemmend it highly.
Apparently there's nothing you can do.......2003-08-13
This book was a disappointment. After reading the ten chapters that define power freaks, I found out in the last three chapters that the author doesn't seem to think that there's anything you can do if you work for a power freak except to either kiss up or wait until the power freak leaves the company. Isn't that what you're trying to avoid by reading this book?
It's disappointing to invest the time reading the first two thirds of a book, only to find out that there is no practical advice. You know what a power freak is, so do you really need nine chapters of definitions? What you want is some practical adivie on how to deal with these irrational people. But this book's "solution" tells you to suppress your own emotions and allow the power freak to go on behaving badly and not to get in his or her way. Weiner includes suggestions such as letting the power freak think your ideas are his or her ideas and complimenting the power feak. Isn't that the situation you're in now? Isn't your hope when you pick up a book like this to avoid the stress that a power freaks create in your life rather than relish in it? Aren't you hoping that this book will tell you how to stop cowtowing to people who are irrational? It doesn't. The only person who will benefit from this book is the power freak him or herself.
I suggest you try either Tongue Fu by Sam Horn or the Gentle Art of Verbal self Defense by Suzette Haden Elgin. Be heard. Don't give in.
You Know One.......2003-01-16
I just happened to come across "Power Freaks" in the bookstore and thought it looked interesting and thought I needed to buy it. I began to read it and couldn't put it down. Most of the people I know were described in the book. Now becasue of David Weiner I can deal with these people and not get upset all the time. I recommend it to everyone. It might save you from having "those special moments" with the power freak you have to deal with.
Customer Reviews:
Learn to Ease the Control Freak's Energy .......2007-03-08
This book was full of so many ideas, I was amazed. There were more ideas than I could absorb--I wrote notes, copied pages, then still found more in each chapter.
I have started using some of the ideas already and can see how they make an immediate difference, such as aligning (matching speech patterns, clarifying, etc.) and "you might be right" (getting the other person to back off a bit). I loved the "Aikido Method" of moving the energy around, instead of engaging in battle. During the time I used this, it also helped me to come up with my own mantra: "Respond, rather than react."
This book clearly described how I get hooked by a controller and react with defensiveness, then anger, then regret. And the book gave me ideas on how to change my patterns toward more positive interactions.
The final chapter completely described my situation and what has actually happened. It hit me hard to see everything described perfectly. It also had an amazing section on how to reframe a situation when a person can't leave for the time being--to actively choose to be in this bad situation temporarily, instead of feeling like a victim.
I highly recommend this book. I hope the author will consider reprinting it!
I tried to buy this book, found it was out of print, so I'm going to order a used copy.
This book helped me........2006-11-30
While Control Freaks suffers from a few short-comings in its structure and writing, overall it is a very positive book. I have to admit, the lessons learned have helped me grow as a person, and to get beyond some of the pain from certain relationships.
The book itself is rather uneven, and sometimes a bit tedious. But there are very good examples of real-life situations and clearly outlined advice. I read the book twice--which I never do--so it certainly is worth reading.
Interestingly, I have lent this book to more friends than any other book I have ever owned. I recommend Control Freaks. Almost everyone can get some good life lessons from it. I hope that the book helps you as much as it did me!
The answer to STRESS-FREE LIVING.......2003-11-23
This is one of the best psych books I have ever read. Highly readable material for anyone and a treasure of information on the subject of human behavior. Control freaks are epidemic in America and sadly, we all suffer. There is a flip side to this coin however - the Accommodater.
Which are you? Neither? Both? The answer might surprise you.
Everyone should read this book. It affects everything.
Book Description
Readers learn how to recognize codependent tendencies in themselves with this insightful step-by-step guide to creating healthy relationships. Lewis's twelve step plan provides the starting point for increased self-esteem and an emotionally fulfilling lifestyle.
Book Description
Are you a heroic leader? Or are you a passive follower? Chances are you act like one or the other, and it's doing serious damage to your company, your customers, and your colleagues. The reason behind your harmful behavior? The fear that you'll be held responsible for any failures -which often makes failure the inevitable outcome. Management guru Roger Martin calls this fear of failure and the behavior it causes "The Responsibility Virus." With lively case studies based on real business practice, he shows how the Virus "infects" corporations and nonprofit organizations large and small. No message could be more urgent in today's business climate.
Martin lays out a wholly original way of understanding group dynamics. His impassioned belief in the "power of one" will be required reading for any of us who think about how we function in organizations, from the boardroom to the mail room.
Customer Reviews:
A Radical Reformulation of the Leader/Follower Dynamic.......2006-07-25
Ever notice how offices (maybe even yours) are split between the doers and the idlers? Ever notice the resentment that accrues in workplaces where control freaks do everything and ne'er-do-wells do nothing? Ever wonder how such jaded office environments came to be, and whether they ever could change?
Well, step right up, dear reader, because this book decodes the phenomenon that cruelly saps the morale out of even the most capable of offices. Labelling this task imbalance as the `responsibility virus,' Roger Martin seeks to render a diagnosis and prognosis of this nefarious sickness. Martin, with the assistance of psychological and biological principles, explains how the basic `fight or flight' response leads many to assume too much or too little responsibility in times of stress. This results in a causal chain reaction where the other workers correspondingly take positions on the opposing end of the spectrum to best complement this initial game opening. As Martin ably explains, these positions are never static; over-responsible persons eventually become under-responsible, and vice versa. This is essentially a never-ending dance that may eventually destroy an entire office.
So what to do, you ask? Martin proposes four separate strategies that are designed to purge the workplace body of this virus, all of which may be used on their own or in combination with the others, depending on the state of the virus' evolution and the players' goals. These different methods all have the share the same central goal: maximizing inter-office collaboration and thereby ridding the workplace of the responsibility virus. They are all very easy-to-understand and readily adaptable to many workplaces. Martin's generous use of case examples also provides a context to identifying problems and their respective solutions.
Martin's most intriguing strategy is to redefine the nature of true leadership and, by extension, corresponding `followership.' Martin entreats the reader not to accept the canard of the `man on the horse;' the heroic, all-knowing, all-powerful leader who can jump into the fray at any given moment and single-handedly solve a vexing problem, while his minions listlessly stand by waiting for the hero to save the day. Rather, true leadership fosters collaboration; followers contribute to the best of their abilities and open lines of communication are maintained throughout the various levels of management.
In all, this is a persuasive read that is very ably argued. Although I felt the conclusion was a bit rushed (where Martin makes a u-turn from his central argument that people's actions are dictated by their governing values), readers would be hard-pressed to write the book off as unhelpful. Use it in your business life or even your personal life; the book is a powerful suppressant of the responsibility virus.
Insightful and revealing.......2006-06-02
This book explains in very simple terms why some people are so driven while others just go on a cruise and the relationship between the two.
If you ever feel overwhelmed at work and often find yourself wondering why others don't pull their own weight - this book is for you.
If you feel like you could do so much more at work if only given a chance but lack the confidence or the knowledge to go for it - read this book.
How to transform a bureaucracy into a healthy organization.......2003-01-16
Roger Martin has lain down business organizations in the therapist chair, but you won't notice it because the author avoids skillfully the psychological labels currently in vogue.
If you often wonder about why you end up working more than others, why some people don't understand what you clearly state or why everybody sees what is wrong in the company and they don't do anything to fix it, this book is for you. It goes to the root of the problem, explains it plainly and offers a step by step program to solve it. The book also provides a better understanding of what's behind the Enron debacle and the government agencies mishandling of security issues before, during and after September 11.
It doesn't matter if the reader is a CEO, a manager, a professional or a secretary, he or she will find familiar faces and situations; people that could be your boss, your vice-president of sales or your managing editor. Why do we have the chance to see ourselves and others in these pages? The book is simply about human nature. It deals with the underlying emotions, culture and language that make many bureaucracies what they are: an incompetent and unfulfilled mass of otherwise intelligent, good and hard working people.
Martin explains that lack of collaboration between leadership and other parties in the organization brings an unbalanced approach to responsibility. The author describes what he calls the "heroic leader", which takes more responsibility that he or she should. Conversely, the other parties react giving up responsibility. Once the leader is unable to meet the goals, he or she sits back and takes the position of the followers. Meanwhile the frustrated followers take responsibility for their part, but because they can not attain the needed broad or bold solutions, parties induce the leader to take again more responsibilities that he or she can handle, and the infectious cycle of dependency starts again.
The mysterious Responsibility Virus is nothing more than the very human fear of failure. According to Chris Argyris, cited in the book, there are "governing values" that guide the way we interpret and deal with the world. They reside so ingrained in human nature that they apply to people across ages, cultures, economic status, and educational levels. Humans-Agyris claim--will always try to win, maintain control, avoid embarrassment and stay rational in any situation. Fear of failure triggers the governing values and they make us either take more responsibility (fight) or abdicate responsibility (flight).
Martin proposes the use of some "tools" to improve collaboration (choice structuring process), eliminate the mistrust and misunderstanding (frame experiment) and to balance capability and responsibility (responsibility ladder) among the parties in the organization. All these tools have the general objective of untying the person from the situation that requires attention and put aside the biased frame of mind from which we see the problem. Once all the parties involved in decision-making have a better perspective of the issue, they are in a position to find a middle ground between capabilities and responsibility.
It is at the end of the book, redefining leadership, when Martin describes the leader as what sociologists or psychologists would call a mature personality. According to the author, a leader should be capable of splitting responsibility through dialogue, apportioning responsibilities in keeping with capabilities, but more importantly, making apportionment discussable and subject performance to public testing. Although he doesn't mention it, you have the sense that it is the leader a significant carrier of the responsibility virus and also accountable for spreading his or her fear of failure throughout the organization.
In these times of leaders finger-pointing at each other and frustrated managers turned into audacious whistle-blowers this book is a timely required reading to understand not only organizations but the world around us.
Book Description
Conner doesn't know what everyone's problem is. His mom, his sister, even Alanna--none of them can take care
of themselves anymore.
So he'll just have to do it for them.
Customer Reviews:
Todd and Megan.......2002-10-08
What is up with that? The whole point of that whole thing is because Todd wants Liz and is trying to make her jealous. Conner and Alanna - ewww. Why did Pascal even have to put Alanna in there? Jessica and Jeremy belong together. They should rewrite SV University with Jeremy in it. Peace Out
Control Freak.......2002-06-16
Conner needs to forget about Alanna. He tries to help her and all she can do is dump him? She always gets mad at him for no reason then go cries to him and he takes her back. CONNER NEEDS TO LEARN THAT ALANNA DOESNT DESERVE HIM AND THAT LIZ IS WAY MUCH BETTER. The book good so i would recomend u buy it if u read all the others.
Not Bad.......2002-02-03
Well I thought that this book was actually pretty good. Although there was way too much Conner and Alana in this book, especially too much Alana. There were several times in this book where I wanted to yell shutup at Conner, I just don't understand why he has any friends. I hope that Elizabeth never takes this jerk back, especially with the way he treated her in this book and in the others. I would've liked to have read more about Maria and Ken. I was kind of surprised with what happened to Maria, let's just say that I was expecting more to happen, I think that the author quickly wrapped up this storyline too soon. The Jessica/Trent/Tia/Jeremy storyline was kind of annoying, but it gets better near the end, I hope that the author won't go down this road again. I was also kind of hoping to read more about Meagan and Todd.
pretty good.......2002-01-07
This book is up to the usual SVH senioryear quality, but I was a little disappointed because I was hoping for more about Elizabeth. When is she going to get a new boyfriend and forget about Conner? For those of you who have always hated Conner, there's a nice part where he gets a little of what's due to him.
Too Much Conner!.......2001-11-19
This book was OK,except that there was way too muchConner and Alanna in it. Conner seriously needs to get a grip. He can't live everyone's life for them. Alanna seriously HAS to get some seriuos help SOON! She's got a bad enough life already- stop drinking, honey. Remember all those headaches and the naeusa? I don't think you want to live that every day! Her parents are HUGE liars- Alanna is just a Straight-F girl who's got serious drinking problems. They've gotta learn to face that and GET RID OF THAT ALCOHOL! Those people just don't know (or care)what's good for Alanna. Megan can date Todd if she wants to- Conner can't control her life. Elizabeth has to get a boyfriend sooner or later, and I hope it's Conner. That boy needs to get Alanna out of his life for good!
Average customer rating:
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I Hate My Boss!: How to Survive and Get Ahead When Your Boss is A Tyrant, Control Freak, or Just Plain Nuts!
Bob Weinstein
Manufacturer: Mcgraw-Hill
ProductGroup: Book
Binding: Paperback
 General
| Job Hunting & Careers
| Business & Investing
| Subjects
| Books
General
| Business & Investing
| Subjects
| Books
Management & Leadership
| Business & Investing
| Subjects
| Books
| Business Ethics
| Consolidation & Merger
| Decision-Making & Problem Solving
| Distribution & Warehouse Management
| Industrial
| Information Management
| Leadership
| Management
| Management Science
| Motivational
| Negotiating
| Operations Research
| Planning & Forecasting
| Pricing
| Production & Operations
| Project Management
| Quality Control
| Risk Assessment
| Statistics
| Strategy & Competition
| Systems & Planning
| Systems Analysis
| Teams
| Total Quality Management
| Training
ASIN: 0070691940 |
Amazon.com
Whether master manipulator or serious psycho, a bad boss can make life miserable for everyone. Most workers simply can't walk away from a sticky supervisory situation, however; they need to learn instead how to cope as well as thrive. Career expert and syndicated columnist Bob Weinstein proposes ways to do just that in I Hate My Boss!: How to Survive and Get Ahead When Your Boss Is a Tyrant, Control Freak, or Just Plain Nuts! The result is an upbeat handbook filled with solid suggestions for getting along with any boss from hell. --Howard Rothman
Book Description
Whether you work for a tyrant, a control freak, or a bona fide psychotic, this book gives you permission to hate your boss and still manage to be productive. Upbeat and offbeat, this cure for the common-dictator explains why we hate bosses, why the ``perfect boss'' is a pipe dream, how suffering under a bad boss can improve your work, why it's advantageous to be a smart follower, and how to get along--even emphatize--with even the most power-crazed ruler.
Books:
- The Country Bunny and the Little Gold Shoes (Sandpiper Books)
- The Dead Fathers Club
- The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex: An Indispensable Resource for Pleasure and Seduction
- The Grapes of Wrath (Centennial Edition)
- The Hanged Man
- The History of Love: A Novel
- The Low Down on Going Down: How to Give Her Mind-Blowing Oral Sex
- The Millionaire Real Estate Agent: It's Not About the Money...It's About Being the Best You Can Be!
- The Ministry of Special Cases
- The Nature of Consciousness : The Structure of Reality: Theory of Everything Equation Revealed : Scientific Verification and Proof of Logic God Is
Books Index
Books Home
Recommended Books
- Redoute's Finest Flowers in Embroidery
- Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
- The Enlightened Joseph Priestley: A Study of His Life and Work from 1773 to 1804.
- Voices In Summer
- And Tango Makes Three
- FSA: The American Vision
- Childhood Cancer Survivors: A Practical Guide to Your Future
- The New Yorker Book of All-New Cat Cartoons
- Truth and Photography: Notes on Looking and Photographing
- Ninety-Day Wonder: Flight to Guerrilla War
Compelled to Control: Recovering Intimacy in Broken Relationships
Relationships
Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control
High-Maintenance Relationships (AACC Library)
Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal With People Who Try to Control You
