Amazon.com
As CEO at accounting giant KPMG, Eugene O'Kelly was so immersed in his job that over the course of a decade, he managed to have lunch with his wife on weekdays just twice. His travel schedule was set 18 months out. Once, he was so obsessed with impressing a potential client that he tracked down the man's travel schedule, booked the seat next to him on a flight, schmoozed the guy all the way to Australia, landed the account, and flew immediately back to Manhattan. His Type-A ways vanished when, at age 53, a top neurosurgeon in New York told him he had late- stage brain cancer. "His eyes told me I would die soon. It was late spring. I had seen my last autumn in New York." [p.7]
There are no TV-movie-style miracle treatments or extensions of his life expectancy; he's told he has maybe 3 months, and he doesn't spend any energy hoping for a cure. True to his CEO style, he creates goals for himself, lists of friends to visit for the last time; he meditates; he tries to create as many "Perfect Moments" that he can, during dinner or phone conversations with friends, and realized how few rare those moments of connection and joy were in his "previous life."[p116] "Chasing Daylight" is as much a self-criticism of his job-before- family ways as it is a meditation on time and a transition to a tranquil, spiritual state utterly foreign to him as a CEO. O'Kelly's absolutely more fulfilled by the soul work that he finishes in 100 days, compared to his 30 years of corporate promotions and accolades, and he utterly convinces readers to ponder their own situation, whether "in the gloaming" of life as he was or not.--Erica Jorgensen
Book Description
“Must the end of life be the worst part?
Can it be made the best?”
At 53, Eugene O'Kelly was in the full swing of life. Chairman and CEO of KPMG, one of the largest U.S. accounting firms, he enjoyed a successful career and drew happiness from his wife, children, family, and close friends. He was thinking ahead: the next business trip, the firm's continued success, weekend plans with his wife, his daughter's first day of eighth grade.
Then in May 2005, Gene was diagnosed with late-stage brain cancer and given three to six months to live. Just like that.
Now a growing darkness was absorbing the bright future he had seen for himself. He would have to change his plans, quickly, and capture what he could of his last diminishing days.
Chasing Daylight is the account of his final journey. Starting from the time of his diagnosis and concluded upon his death less than four months later, this book is his unforgettable story.
With startling intimacy, it chronicles the dissolution of Eugene O'Kelly's life and his gradual awakening to a more profound understanding. Interweaving unsettling details of his battle with cancer with his moment-to-moment reflections on life and death, love and success, spirituality and the search for meaning, it provides a testament to the power of the human spirit and a compelling message about how to live a more vivid, balanced, and meaningful life.
Inspiring, passionate, deeply insightful, Chasing Daylight is a remarkable man's poignant farewell to a beloved world.
Customer Reviews:
Moving and Eloquent.......2007-10-19
Eugene O'Kelly's Chasing Daylight is moving and eloquent. The memoir depicts the 3.5 months between O'Kelly's diagnosis with terminal brain cancer and his death on September 10, 2005. To write this book was an act of supreme grace and courage. The volume was completed and published following O'Kelly's death.
In Chasing Daylight, O'Kelly details his efforts to create Perfect Moments and Perfect Days in the remaining time allotted to him, as well as his "unwindings"-- his goodbyes to colleagues, friends and family. These discoveries of self, relationship and spirit under immense pressure are all the more impressive because O'Kelly's professional life as CEO of accounting giant KPMG Peat Marwick did little to prepare him for a journey of discovery, especially in the shadow of impending death.
Eugene O'Kelly teaches us all how to live and die with honor, integity and love. Chasing Daylight is a gift from a wise and generous soul and deserves careful attention, as does the beautifully written afterword by Corinne O'Kelly, O'Kelly's wife.
Living While Dying.......2007-09-10
Few people have written about the steps they had taken to live while waiting to die. Few of us know when our deaths will come come and we live paying little attention to others and how precious the time we have is to ourselves. The author of this book takes us with him in ways that teach us how to live better in our own time that is left. This a one of the best legacies an author has ever provided.
Tragic story but short on learnings ..........2007-07-09
Not what I had hoped for or even expected. I feel for his family, especially his 14 year old daughter, who he only talked about a relationship to the end. It is well documented and I believe authentic and sad to me. Even when facing death he had to be the CEO telling people what they should feel and deciding on his 'three' eulogies and who should give them and in one case even writing part of it. Sad for his family who he admits he was always traveling for his beloved company. If there is a message in here it is that he may be the first guy to say 'if I just had one more day at the office.' The entire book to me is centered on the fact that he talked of his love for his daughter all the while saying his good byes for three weeks to business associates and in the end never took the trip he promised her before he died. I guess there are some learnings but not what he intended to write. Disappointed for sure.
Death of a Planner.......2007-07-05
This book is incredible from many viewpoints and is an honest and authentic account of what he went through when he was confronted with death. Death is something that we all have many pre-conceived notions about, but is something that we truly don't understand consciously. This book shows his struggles to embrace death. From that point of view, it is an authentic account.
The rest is plainly my judgment and should only be read as such. This book is not spiritual in content and it is clearly evident that had he not been diagnosed, the author would not also have any inclination to consider death. This memoir can be viewed as an account of someone who built up an identity and then even in the moment of death, could not let go of that identity. It is a memoir of someone who was struggling and trying to control their death. It was someone who was trying to create some meaning out of their death as the meaning for which he had lived his life was now broken in pieces.
I mean no disrespect in stating the above, but it is simply an honest observation. However, I did not expect the work to be any different than it was or to expect it to be better than it was. It was what it was because the author was what he was. I rate this book with 4 stars for its authenticity.
You can skip this one.......2007-07-02
Although it was a touching story I'd hate for people to sympathize with O'Kelly. He lived a fast-paced life as a CEO. I think he realized he had developed more business relationships than truly close, personal ones. He spends 3 weeks `unwinding' with people described merely as `business associates'. His family dealt with this even through his last weeks of life.
Not only did the family relationship annoy me but the fact that I don't think he really learned anything. Sure, he became less business-like and more relationship-based. Still, he seemed to be desperately making up for lost time (and failing).
There were a few good take-aways: he finished his life peacefully and ready to "transition", he tried to make the best of a bad situation, he was fortunate to be healthy and lucid in his final days. He was lucky... sort of.
He admittedly missed most of his daughter's life growing up. With a CEO schedule, no wonder. Plus, he died before he had the chance to take her on their final vacation together (she was 14) to Prague.
Probably because he was spending his time closing up relationships with his `associates' early on...
Book Description
With The Measure of Our Days, Dr. Jerome Groopman established himself as an eloquent new voice in the literature of medicine. In these eight moving portraits, he offers us a compelling look at what is to be learned when life itself can no longer be taken for granted.
These stories are diverse--from Kirk, an aggressive venture capitalist determined to play the odds with controversial chemotherapy treatments; to Elizabeth, an imperious dowager humbled by a rare blood disease; to Elliott, who triumphs over leukemia and creates for himself a definition of success--but each, in the words of Maggie Scarf, "transmute the misery of terrible suffering into a marvelous celebration of the sweetness of human life." Far from medical case studies, these are spiritual journeys of questioning and self-awareness, embarked on by the physician as well as the patient.
Customer Reviews:
Touching and thought-provoking.......2007-07-07
As a nurse who has worked in Oncology, I have found this book very interesting and thought-provoking. It brought back many memories of patients and similar situations. Could anyone ask for a physician any more compassionate than Dr. Groopman? Something for all in the medical field to strive for.
The most touching book on relationships between a good doctor and his patients..........2007-04-14
I don't remember why or where I bought this book. I think it came highly recommended to me, as I have worked in HIV research and bioethics for the disabled for years, not as a job, but because it is what I care about. I think I accidently put this book up to sell, thinking it was another book on these same issues I had read years ago. When I got it out to send to another reader, I realized I hadn't read it. I can read quite fast when necessary and after the first few pages in this book, I realized I did not want to send it until I had read the whole thing. So I read it in one evening, and I am so glad I did.
After just undergoing a horrendous couple of years with my own personal physician who threw medication at me in hopes something would help (and he just made things worse), I needed to be reminded there are outstanding and wonderful physicians out there still who see their work not as a way to make money but a way to make a living and provide for their families while still doing the most they can for humanity. I'd read Groopman's work before. He is a very prolific writer, as well as a physician and researcher into HIV and cancer. I don't know how he does it. The man must not sleep ever, and that also earns my admiration. His patients are not easy ones. They are the more difficult ones, and he see his job as being to give them the most time he can possibly squeeze out of their conditions. And that time he gives them, he makes them as comfortable as possible and as able to continue their life's work...this is what is meant by providing people with chronic illness and even illness whose end result is death with a quality of life equal to that, or better than that, than the life they had lived before. Why? Because they know their time is limited, and they seek to fill their remaining time with the most they can stuff into it. EAch of these individuals have different ideas of what constitutes a meaningful life, and each of them learn something from Groopman during their time under his care, and their stories not only taught Groopman something, but in this book they teach the reader something.
I'd always been one of those people who didn't want to undergo chemotherapy for a cancer that would end in death anyhow. But now I understand from Groopman why you would prolong your time here, as long as it could be done in such a way as to achieve my goals and those for my family and friends, and give something back to others as I have always wanted to do (but often had to put to the side while I raised my family).
This is one of the most compassionate books I have ever read. I hate to send it away but at the same time, I want others to read it. It teaches us to put into practice our religious beliefs rather than just spout them. It isn't enough to say 'this is what I believe.' Groopman teaches us that we can put our religious beliefs into daily practice and do the most good by doing that. I would definitely recommend this book as required reading for all students in all medical fields, even research...as we too often lose sight of the very human faces that we are researching for. By putting a human face on these usually unseen people it forces us to work harder and with more focus on moral behavior, whether as researchers, or as medical personnel in daily contact with those who are suffering. Our job is not to judge, but rather to alleviate suffering... Groopman is an outstanding example to all of us, and I hope to incorporate his teachings in my own life and my own work...
Karen L. Sadler
Departing into darkness.......2006-06-27
If Sherwin Nuland hadn't already written "The Way We Die," Jerome Groopman could easily have used the title for this book. Dr. Groopman specializes in cancer, blood-disease, and AIDs patients, so he is very familiar with the way we die. His emphasis in this book is more on the spiritual aspect of dying, although there is also plenty of physical agony and degradation in "The Measure of Our Days."
If I had to sum up the book's theme, it would be: patients who love and are loved struggle hardest to live, sometimes way beyond the point where physicians have given up on them. When they finally do die, their deaths are more fulfilling (easier? better?) than those who die with full wallets and empty hearts.
That sounds kind of hokey, like "Love Story" as written by a doctor, but Dr. Groopman handles the theme very effectively. He's even slightly more optimistic than in his book "Second Opinions," although no one in "The Measure of Our Days" dies as romantically as Ali McGraw. Just the opposite. Most of Dr. Groopman's patients in this book die after extensive chemotherapy, surgery, and physical therapy--the whole painful and nauseous armamentarium of modern medicine (If it hasn't yet struck you how closely physicians resemble the monks of the Spanish Inquisition, you've probably never undergone chemotherapy. Both wield their instruments for our own good).
"The Measure of Our Days" speaks like a modern day Koheleth (Ecclesiastes):
"A man may have a hundred children and live a long life; but however many his days may be, if he does not get satisfaction from the good things of life..., then I maintain that the still-born child is in better case than he. Its coming is an empty thing, it departs into darkness, and in darkness its name is hidden..."
Change 'get satisfaction from the good things of life' to 'love' and I believe you will understand Dr. Groopman's measure of our days.
inspiring tales of truth and human dignity.......2006-05-10
An excellent book of choice for anyone looking to find meaning in the field of health care, who feels swept away by torrents of robotic practices of academic medicine and scientific prejudices.
The Measure of our Compassion through the measure of our days.......2005-12-05
It takes a special person to care for others. Compassion for people comes in different ways and Groopman finds an excellent way to blend both: medicine the way we know it and kind and considerate way to offer care and hope.
This book is a great reading for anyone.
Highly recommended!
Amazon.com
We've all got our idiosyncrasies when it comes to writing--a special chair we have to sit in, a certain kind of yellow paper we absolutely must use. To create this tremendously affecting memoir, Jean-Dominique Bauby used the only tool available to him--his left eye--with which he blinked out its short chapters, letter by letter. Two years ago, Bauby, then the 43-year-old editor-in-chief of Elle France, suffered a rare stroke to the brain stem; only his left eye and brain escaped damage. Rather than accept his "locked in" situation as a kind of death, Bauby ignited a fire of the imagination under himself and lived his last days--he died two days after the French publication of this slim volume--spiritually unfettered. In these pages Bauby journeys to exotic places he has and has not been, serving himself delectable gourmet meals along the way (surprise: everything's ripe and nothing burns). In the simplest of terms he describes how it feels to see reflected in a window "the head of a man who seemed to have emerged from a vat of formaldehyde."
Book Description
In 1995, Jean-Dominique Bauby was the editor-in-chief of French
Elle, the father of two young childen, a 44-year-old man known and loved for his wit, his style, and his impassioned approach to life. By the end of the year he was also the victim of a rare kind of stroke to the brainstem. After 20 days in a coma, Bauby awoke into a body which had all but stopped working: only his left eye functioned, allowing him to see and, by blinking it, to make clear that his mind was unimpaired. Almost miraculously, he was soon able to express himself in the richest detail: dictating a word at a time, blinking to select each letter as the alphabet was recited to him slowly, over and over again. In the same way, he was able eventually to compose this extraordinary book.
By turns wistful, mischievous, angry, and witty, Bauby bears witness to his determination to live as fully in his mind as he had been able to do in his body. He explains the joy, and deep sadness, of seeing his children and of hearing his aged father's voice on the phone. In magical sequences, he imagines traveling to other places and times and of lying next to the woman he loves. Fed only intravenously, he imagines preparing and tasting the full flavor of delectable dishes. Again and again he returns to an "inexhaustible reservoir of sensations," keeping in touch with himself and the life around him.
Jean-Dominique Bauby died two days after the French publication of
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.
This book is a lasting testament to his life.
Customer Reviews:
Meaning of life.......2007-09-24
Reading this book made a deep impact in me. Learning how Jean Dominique gives meaning to his life coming from such a desfavorable experience inspires me to continue the quest in searching for my own purpose in life.
Really makes you appreciate how little you're doing.......2007-07-30
After reading this, it helps put in perspective just how much time you waste. A person who can only blink one eye wrote a book in a matter of a couple of months. I've been working on mine for a matter of years. Almost makes me ashamed to be able-bodied. Great read to put your life in perspective. No matter HOW bad you think you have it, somebody has it worse.
A must-read.......2007-07-17
You will read this in one sitting. It is moving, inspirational and beautifully composed. My heart ached for Jean-Dominique and the situation he found himself in, but what courage he displayed, showing that the human spirit is indeed indomitable.
Inspirational and beautifully written.......2007-07-12
I bought this book after it had been recommended to me. It was inspirational and beautifully written. Astonishing when you consider the physical condition of the author that he was able to maintain a wonderful attitude. It's a testament to the human spirit and a lesson on what's truly important in life.
Powerful! Beautifully written!.......2007-06-10
As it is translated into English from French, I am curious as to how beautifully the French version was written. Translations do such an injustice to original works but I don't think anything was lost here.
I had the privilege of seeing the film based on the story of Jean-Dominique Bauby. It is from his point of view. The film moved me so much I HAD to read his book. Beautiful and powerful!
Customer Reviews:
YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT.......2007-01-11
IF YOU REALLY WANT A GOOD BOOK? READ HOW TO EAT TO LIVE BY ELIJAH MUHAMMAD
Good Book!.......2005-11-01
One of my favorite things is this book tells of which I love to see goes into practice for this country is the Chinese tradition where the doctor pays the patient if he gets sick and the patient pays the doctor if he stays healthy. With that alone there could be a great change in how doctors in this country treat their patients. They just wouldn't be puppets to the drug companies. Many interesting things covered in this book about the FDA, vitamins, Calcium and modern medicine.
Great Book.......2005-10-12
This book is very informative, with extremely useful advice. I strongly believe that the use of calcium as outlined in the book will help the body heal itself. I have a question for the registered nurses who have discounted this book: How can you sleep at night knowing that everyday you go to work you pump into your patients highly toxic medications, which has deadly side effects?? I'm sure you all know that drugs covers up the symptoms and does absolutely nothing for the underlying cause of the illness. Please stop being hypocrites.
Watch Your Food.......2005-01-25
The book, Death By Diet is an excellent book. It is full of very basic down to earth information on our relationship between the food we eat and the health of our body. All adults should read this book and learn from it. If we followed the recommendations in this book we would have healthier bodies.
Death by Diet.......2003-11-14
Stay with me here. Robert doesnt present well, his conspiratorial tone makes me wince, his thoughts jump around a bit at times and the testamonials made me groan. BUT. If you squint your eyes and read between the prose, you juuust might see a miracle here !!!!!!!! I love innovative thinkers, which IS his strong suit. I am buying a copy for the whole family. This is MUST reading.
Average customer rating:
- book
- Very Entertaining, but Sad
- in response to natashas "shameful"
- ii LOVEDDD THiSSZ Bo0k
<33
- Shameful
|
It Happened to Nancy: By an Anonymous Teenager, A True Story from Her Diary
Anonymous Teenager
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Crank
ASIN: 0380773155
Release Date: 2004-12-28 |
Book Description
The editor of the classic GO ASK ALICE has compiled the poignant journals of a 14-year-old date-rape victim who contracted AIDS and died.
Customer Reviews:
book.......2007-06-12
My daughter read it in school and wanted it for home so she could read ahead. She loved it
Very Entertaining, but Sad.......2007-04-25
This is a true story of a teen who was raped. I really enjoyed reading her life story. I felt like I was actually there in her life. She had a wonderful relationship with her mother and her best friends. Nancy was a girl who loved life. The ending of the book was very sad, especially when Nancy became very sick and suffered a lot.
in response to natashas "shameful".......2007-01-10
i am 20 years old and a victim of date rape at age 12. I am reading this book now and only half way through and im in tears, in tears because i ave been where she is in her darkness and it has taken me 8 years to over come most of my fears and my ticks with men.. as far as the book being shameful.. hardly... i have 2 sisters under 15 and i dont care if beatrice sparks invented this story after a bad date or if no such "nancy" existed. because i was nancy 8 years ago.. i was lucky enough not to have been infected with HIV but girls her age need to be warned and they need to know that no matter how old or how sweet every body is capable of hurting them. to be careful and to always trust in their parents because for all they know they were a victim like nancy and myself and thousands of other under age girls and even thousands of age women.. this is a tragic honest tale of all that we have been through but were to afraid to share.. i would recommend this book to anybody with eyes..there is truth in everypage.. please read this book and every other book edited by beatrice sparks and have your children read them too.. i wish i would have read it before it happened to me.. thank you nancy for being so strong and giving millions of girls like you courage to fight.
with love
ii LOVEDDD THiSSZ Bo0k
<33.......2007-01-09
This book was definitely one of the best booksz ive ever readd...itsz a very sad storyy but ii definitely recommend teenagers to read it...its an amazinng book...its one of those books u dnt want to stop readingg.
Shameful.......2007-01-06
Beatrice Sparks is the author/editor of a serious of "anonymous" teen diaries. They are meant as "warnings" to children. In fact, they are not based on real diaries and the only one that actually was, she used about 10% of the journal entries and added a Satanic theme which horrified the family.
Now I am aware that children should be taught such things as drugs are bad, teenage pregnancy is not preferable, don't kill yourself etc. However, I take offense when presented in this manner. Children learn best from the truth not extreme propaganda. I also take offense that many libraries (especially school libraries) list this book as non-fiction, when in fact it is a work of fiction.
Amazon.com
One-third of Western Europe's population died between 1348 and 1350, victims of the Black Death. Noted medievalist Norman Cantor tells the story of the pandemic and its widespread effects in In the Wake of the Plague.
After giving an overview, Cantor describes various theories about the medical crisis, from contemporary fears of a Jewish conspiracy to poison the water (and the resulting atrocities against European Jews) to a growing belief among modern historians that both bubonic plague and anthrax caused the spiraling death rates. Cantor also details ways in which the Black Death changed history, at both the personal level (family lines dying out) and the political (the Plantagenet kings may well have been able to hold onto France had their resources not been so diminished).
Cantor veers from topic to topic, from dynastic worries to the Dance of Death, and from peasants' rights to Perpendicular Gothic. This makes for amusing reading, though those seeking an orderly narrative may be frustrated. He also seems overly concerned with rumors of homosexual behavior, and his attempt to link the savage method of Edward II's murder to a cooling in global weather is a bit farfetched.
Cantor wears his considerable scholarship lightly, but includes a very useful critical biography for further reading. While not an entry-level text on the Black Death, In the Wake of the Plague will interest readers looking for a broader interpretation of its consequences. --Sunny Delaney
Book Description
The Black Death was the fourteenth century's equivalent of a nuclear war. It wiped out one-third of Europe's population, takingmillion lives. And yet, most of what we know about it is wrong. The details of the Plague etched in the minds of terrified schoolchildren -- the hideous black welts, the high fever, and the awful end by respiratory failure -- are more or less accurate. But what the Plague really was and how it made history remain shrouded in a haze of myths.
Now, Norman Cantor, the premier historian of the Middle Ages, draws together the most recent scientific discoveries and groundbreaking historical research to pierce the mist and tell the story of the Black Death as a gripping, intimate narrative.
Customer Reviews:
Poor writing, poor research.......2007-10-05
This book is sufficiently weak to raise doubts in my mind about the rest of Cantor's work.
"In the Wake of the Plague" reads like an extended version of the class notes for a freshman course. Cantor rambles, offers "insights" that more nearly resemble anecdotes and lets slip his own biases (arguably bigotries) frequently.
Moreover, he routinely fails to offer context which might tend to undermine his own sweeping assertions.
All of the sources are secondary. There is no footnoting. The intended audience is clearly the general public. Fine. But don't show contempt for your readers by writing thinly supported meanderings like this.
Don't waste your money on buying this book .......2007-08-29
Norma Cantor may be the Emeritus Professor of History, Sociology and Comparative Literature at New York University, but he cannot write serious prose about a serious subject. His writing is infantile; it has numerous editorial errors, frequent repetitions and idiotic references (such as the Plague "threatened the stability and viability of civilization. It was as if a neutron bomb had been detonated". Plain crass.
Bottom Line: Don't waste your money on buying this book
Where oh where was the editor?.......2007-08-24
The book was a somewhat enjoyable read, but I think the unedited version must have gone to the printers. I thought perhaps that a high school student wrote this so poor was the writing / grammar. NYTimes Bestseller - well, people will buy anything.
I found the editorializing comments towards religious people of the time to be condescending and distracting.
A plague upon your book, sir!.......2007-06-12
Professor Cantor is supposed to be a gentleman of academic standing, and, one supposes, learning. That he wrote a book of such ridiculously infantile proportions is a disgrace both to him, and to the company that saw fit to publish it. Neither seems to have any respect for the reader whatsoever. I pass over the juvenile summarisation of the history of England's Plantagent Kings (although one wonders whether Prof. Cantor has ever bothered to read primary accounts of the martyrdom of Thomas Becket), the insulting references to medieval religious attitudes, and the allegedly humourous asides that would produce sycophantic laughter only from students who need a decent grade. What had this reader throwing the book across the room before being half way through it, and being glad I had only borrowed it from the library not actually given over any money for it, was the learned medivialist's assertion that the largest gothic church in the world is in New York City. Um, that would be a gothic-style church, or perhaps even neo-gothic, what with the whole point of the new world being that it wasn't medival europe...
A question.......2007-06-08
Is ther any actual proof that there are more Eurpoean people who are immune to the HIV virus (or the 'AIDS disease' as Cantor puts it), because their ancestors had natural immunity to, or (obviously) survived, the plague? Can plague, which is bacterial, have any baring on peoples' immunity to a virus? I've never heard this before? Presumably it's being posited as a reason Europe is not as badly afflicted as Asia and Africa?
Average customer rating:
- Five stars for the tragic elements, a health warning for the rest...
- A mind & spirit opener
- Paean to Life
- Goes on and on and on....
- Profound wisdom!
|
Grace and Grit: Spirituality and Healing in the Life and Death of Treya Killam Wilber
Ken Wilber
Manufacturer: Shambhala
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Binding: Paperback
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ASIN: 1570627428
Release Date: 2001-02-06 |
Book Description
Here is a deeply moving account of a couple's struggle with cancer and their journey to spiritual healing. Grace and Grit is the compelling story of the five-year journey of Ken Wilber and his wife Treya Killam Wilber through Treya's illness, treatment, and, finally, death.
Customer Reviews:
Five stars for the tragic elements, a health warning for the rest..........2006-07-25
This is a tragic story and for that (and for that alone - in so far as the book is sold as an account of Treya Wilber's lamentable and extremely moving death) it gets five stars. However, the other side of this book is equally lamentable. It is also a desperately cynical and muddled stab at publicising Ken Wilber's ideas via a `soft' title. It stands as the work of a man who uses his wife's death to grandstand, once again well away from any rigorous academic spotlight, his untested `Integral' vision. He tells us that Treya herself wanted this kind of content to be published with personal diaries after her death, but, really...how sickening does the book rapidly become when chapter after chapter is devoted to stating how much of a genius Wilber is alleged to be, or how incisive his ideas are according to himself and the various spiritually biased writers he turns to for validation? Consequently, I have one or two questions, seeing the book is now actually in danger of being turned into a film starring Jennifer Aniston.
Firstly, I wonder if the movie adaptation will focus on both Treya and Ken's support for the notorious cult leader Adi Da? Ken had written gushing and enthused prefaces for Da's work before Treya's death. After her death Wilber then continued to reference Adi Da and to write further gushing prefaces and supportive recommendations for other ex-students of Da, including Saniel Bonder and David Deida, who he continues to work with and include in both his Integral Institute and Integral University. Is the film to then finish with some mention of this, perhaps as a title card over a black screen saying "Ken Wilber to date still esteems Adi Da as one of the greatest spiritual geniuses of all time, despite the vast number of sickening horror stories offered by ex-devotees of Da's organisation, Adidam, alongside the fact that Da is listed at every major anti-cult website across the internet and in several publications beyond it"?
Likewise, I wonder if the film will mention at all that Ken Wilber's ideas, seeing that they form such a goodly portion of the text, have not in any sense been validated or given the necessary and vital scrutiny by academic institutions/publications/systems of peer review aside from Wilber's own colleagues at the Integral Institute or the Integral University (while the Transpersonal Psychology movement - which I think it would be fair to say does not rate as exactly `crank-free' or thoroughly academically validated - did review them in print and rejected most of them outright). Subsequently, will the film run a reference to this debate or rather the lack of any serious wider debate, and mention that Wilber seems to unworthy of review by the kinds of heavyweight academics that he unflaggingly relies upon for quotes?
Thirdly, I wonder if the film will go on to chart Wilber's support of Andrew Cohen as another guru listed at anti-cult websites across the net, who also has had books published detailing the abuses he has allegedly perpetrated (including one written by his own mother) and who, in reply to his website and magazine What Is Enlightenment? is the subject of highly critical counter-website composed of articles from ex-devotees entitled What Enlightenment? Indeed, as Wilber's support of these controversial figures seems to be a mainstay in the transfer of his theory from page to practice, then one would hope so as the filmed result will be a distorted and sanitised mess if it is not.
Lastly, I wonder if the film will be able to do justice to the context of Wilber's work and its (lack of) general acceptance? There is a tendency amongst Wilber's supporters to act as if Integral somehow meant Accepted-By-All, which I personally consider to be a reflection of Ken Wilber's own distorted presentation of quoted material and highly selective reading of the sciences, of philosophy and of history. As a case in point, Wilber's recent highly misleading comments about evolutionary biology are true to his general form. He claims that evolutionary biology cannot explain `anything' in the overall development of organisms (I've deleted Wilber's term and replaced it with `actually' as it was a crude expletive in the original quote), whereas evolutionary biology both can and does--which is the less Wilber-friendly actual fact. To detail, Wilber uses half-wings and half-eyes as an example of this lack of explanatory power, but as any first year biology student can tell you, both are entirely explicable and Wilber's critique is nothing more than a refuted and out-of-date non-starter.
To conclude, myself and other concerned individuals will be sending our own detailed criticisms of Wilber's work, alongside links to many other refutations and criticisms (covering entire websites and offered mostly by freelance academics) found on-line, to the production company and media who either produce or then review any movie made from this book--that is, if it even gets off the ground! Similarly, it will be considered an ethical project to draw attention to Wilber's allegiance to those associated and supportive of cults, as to do otherwise would be a total and complete dereliction of any moral duty and would truly lack either Grace or Grit.
A mind & spirit opener.......2006-06-25
Other books may be eye openers, this one opened my mind and spirit. It was recommended to me by a friend who'd read it after his mother died, and I took it up after two recent deaths in my family and to prepare myself to deal with my own mother's severe illness. I found this book not only to be soothing and truly inspiring, it also provided something I had long sought for without being able to put a name to it - an introduction to perennial philosophy, a starter and a guide on how to to explore and combine Western and Eastern philosophies and religions.
Although this book is praised as the story of a deep and transcending love, the love it describes - although deeply moving - is not the main point for me, as it goes far beyond the exemplary relationship between two extraordinary people. I would like to thank Treya Willam Kilber for Being, and Ken Wilber for sharing this with so many people.
Paean to Life.......2006-06-19
There are many documented reports of caretakers and victims of terminal illness. Although Treya Wilber's story is that, it would be a slight to suggest that's the whole story.
What gives this story its teeth is the style -- an interplay between Treya's journals and her husband's (Ken Wilber) narrative -- and its philosophical underpinnings. In the telling, we're exposed to a full spectrum of beliefs, myths, reactions, therapies, alternatives and emotions of two people loving, living and fighting for life. Along the way, we're also clued-in to Ken's "integral psychology" which unites consciousness, spirit and psychology, an admittedly thick philosophical stew. Surprisingly, this succeeds and helps carry "the story" along.
On one level, Grace and Grit is a profound philosophical discourse. On another, it is a touching story of the power of redemptive love. On any level it's engosssing, often entertaining, and always life-affirming. Highly recommended.
Goes on and on and on...........2005-11-14
Okay, I am a pretty educated woman, as much as the next person, not glorified as the world's greatest thinker thank God or Buddha or whoever. But this book was about 200 pages too long. The truth is, if this book is to be about Treya's life and death, why in the world is it interrupted with all this other stuff inserted by Ken? I found myself incredibly bored to tears by his interpretations on everything about what his wife experienced that I skipped a lot of it and read the parts that were truly Treya's writings or experiences. That is the human part of this book. Is this man too arrogant to just simply write about his wife and her life and death as the title leads you to believe. Why do I need to know about all the other books he has written and all of his friends and how he spent his younger years working and spending 25% of his salary on books, where he went to college, how much beer he drank, etc. sounds boring right? Right!
At times I got the feeling that this book was not intended for just anyone to read. Lots of things were not explained, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out who in the world "Witness" was and lots of other Buddhist terms and phrases that are used throughout. On the plus side, it is (once you pick out the good parts) a tremendously moving and emotional story. It is truly amazing to what great lengths Mrs. Wilber went to to try to save her life and her willpower must have been awesome, but I would imagine not above the willpower of anyone faced with terminal cancer. I would say that this book overall is too mixed. It goes back and forth all the way through between what Treya said and did and then Ken's interpretations and opinions in between. No doubt that this man loved this woman with all of himself. That becomes obvious quickly. I give it 3 stars because it is a good read for sure, but many parts could have been left out.
Profound wisdom!.......2005-08-17
Just finished reading Grace and Grit and I don't remember reading a book that had such a great positive impact on me. I didn't think I could cry so much reading a book! Not of sadness but a mix of many emotions... Grace and Grit is about so many things and touch us at so many different levels, it is a must read!!!
This book is so profound and of such wisdom that it urged me to rethink both life and death... It made me think about so many things in my life: how I relate to the ones I love; my values, my desire for meaning, it made me think about serving other - about being compassionate. It is making me reflect on how I handle certain issues I before considered depressive and hard to deal with.
There are many good reviews written here and I don't want to be repetitive, I just wanted to leave my comment expressing how much this book touched me (and I believe will change me). This book has a message to all of us in our quest to live more joyfully, integrally and spiritually... Above all, above practices and teachings Grace and Grit shows us in a first person stance the tremendous power of love and compassion, of grace and grit.
Amazon.com
A book chronicling one of the worst human disasters in recorded history really has no business being entertaining. But John Kelly's The Great Mortality is a page-turner despite its grim subject matter and graphic detail. Credit Kelly's animated prose and uncanny ability to drop his reader smack in the middle of the 14th century, as a heretofore unknown menace stalks Eurasia from "from the China Sea to the sleepy fishing villages of coastal Portugal [producing] suffering and death on a scale that, even after two world wars and twenty-seven million AIDS deaths worldwide, remains astonishing." Take Kelly's vivid description of London in the fall of 1348: "A nighttime walk across Medieval London would probably take only twenty minutes or so, but traversing the daytime city was a different matter.... Imagine a shopping mall where everyone shouts, no one washes, front teeth are uncommon and the shopping music is provided by the slaughterhouse up the road." Yikes, and that's before just about everything with a pulse starts dying and piling up in the streets, reducing the population of Europe by anywhere from a third to 60 percent in a few short years. In addition to taking readers on a walking tour through plague-ravaged Europe, Kelly heaps on the ancillary information and every last bit of it is captivating. We get a thorough breakdown of the three types of plagues that prey on humans; a detailed account of how the plague traveled from nation to nation (initially by boat via flea-infested rats); how floods (and the appalling hygiene of medieval people) made Europe so susceptible to the disease; how the plague triggered a new social hierarchy favoring women and the proletariat but also sparked vicious anti-Semitism; and especially, how the plague forever changed the way people viewed the church. Engrossing, accessible, and brimming with first-hand accounts drawn from the Middle Ages, The Great Mortality illuminates and inspires. History just doesn't get better than that. --Kim Hughes
Book Description
La moria grandissima began its terrible journey across the European and Asian continents in 1347, leaving unimaginable devastation in its wake. Five years later, twenty-five million people were dead, felled by the scourge that would come to be called the Black Death. The Great Mortality is the extraordinary epic account of the worst natural disaster in European history -- a drama of courage, cowardice, misery, madness, and sacrifice that brilliantly illuminates humankind's darkest days when an old world ended and a new world was born.
Customer Reviews:
Much More Entertaining than you would Expect it to be.......2007-08-10
It takes a certain personality to write about death and disease, but it takes an altogether odd personality to write about a pandemic and make it interesting. Kelly has done a whole lot of research about the pandemic and it's progress from the Steppes of central asia until it finally peters out after four years of obliterating up to half of the population of Europe.
Like any one, you would ask the traditional who, what, where, when and why? Kelly does a superb job of blending the answers together in an easily readable and knowledgeable way. He start where the disease begins, and then goes into explaining the different theories of it's causes that have been postulated over the years. He gives his own opinion as to whose theories he believes and then explains why he doesn't agree with others.
His description of how the disease began and how it was able to have such an overall effect on Europe. More than anything, he explains how the years preceding the outbreak had set-up the conditions for it's maximized effect. Prior years heavy rains and poor harvests had led to starvation and people living on the edge. In poor physical condition to begin with, and many having lingering effects from a famine in their childhoods, large numbers of Europeans had no ability to fight off the disease.
In addition, the unsanitary nature of European cities, with garbage and fecal matter mixing in the streets with animal carcases and the detritus of butchers just thrown in the street created a paradise for the rats that carried the disease vectors (fleas) with them. Add to this mess, the idea that bathing was unnecessary and probably dangerous and you have the makings of a paradise for the disease.
But why were men of science and logic unable to see what the base cause was? Mostly because they were stuck in the paradigms of the times and no one could think their way out of the box they had all put themselves in. The only major organization that could have helped by crossing over political lines was the Catholic Church. And the Church as much as anyone spent a lot of time running away from the problem while losing many of their brightest people to the disease. Those who were left were overwhelmed by the enormity of death and destruction the disease caused.
If your first thought is that this is a payment from God for ungodliness then you've already stopped yourself dead in the water. How do you stop something that is the wrath of an omnipotent deity? You don't. You cower in your little hovel and hope he misses you because you are too insignificant to be worth bothering with.
Or you look for someone to blame it on. Lunatics, Lepers, Jews? Yes that's the answer, this is a conspiracy of the Jews. So lets kill them (torture confessions out of them first) and at the same time we can also steal all their gold and possessions. They killed Christ and they are probably trying to kill all of the Christians too. Give credit to Pope Clement VI who sent out many papal bulls denouncing the destruction of the Jews and asking the local priests to protect them. It did no good but it's more that a lot of other Popes (Pius XII) have done.
In the end, the explanation as to why this pandemic was so destructive as compared to others where the death toll was never above 15%, is yet to be undiscovered. There are lots of theories and counter-theories but no one can say for sure.
Grotesque and fascinating tale to entertain.......2007-03-19
"The Great Mortality" succeeds as entertaining popular history; it is not entirely accurate biology and epidemiology. Nor is it a comparative analysis of differences in the many areas savaged by the Plague.
Other works by Norman Cantor and by Robert S. Gottfried are also of value. Kelly is more fun to read which appears to be its purpose. Along with something of the historical and social context he includes lively stories and experiences of those living - and dying - at the time.
More case studies in other locations and cultures that have differing medical and social responses potentially could reveal much. There is an older interesting study of Egypt and perhaps others of China (?), perhaps even of India (?) but no comparative analysis that could be fascinating and revealing.
Historical errors raise concerns about the author.......2007-02-28
While this is a brisk read, as a good popular history should be, I am concerned by errors in the text. One example suffices. In Chapter 2, Kelly describes the infamous Fourth Crusade thusly: "Venetian authorities offered a group of French Crusaders free passage to the Holy Land, then rerouted the Crusaders east to capture Constantinople." Wrong on virtually every count. Then as now, Venetians gave nothing away free. The Doge and the leaders of the Crusade agreed on a (healthy) price for transport by sea to Egypt (not Palestine). When the troops arrived at the port, however, the Crusaders proved to be short of funds, and were unable to raise the balance. Only then were they diverted to the sack of Zara and then of Constantinople as a means of paying their debt to Venice. See Norwich, "A History of Venice" for the details.
Now, if Kelly can get an episode as well-known and well-documented as the Fourth Crusade so wrong, how can one trust his judgment on other issues? Especially on such issues as epidemiology, which few readers (myself included) are likely to know much about?
I also note that the author apparently personally responded to one of the negative reviews posted here. I would rather that he respond to the one that accuses him of plagiarism. I do hope it's unfounded.
Too choppy to keep interest.......2007-01-08
This book started out interesting, I was drawn in after reading possibly the most graphic paragraph I'd ever encountered, but the author skips around so much that you can't find a thread of narrative to follow. It makes the book confusing and hard to remain interested in.
Fasacinating, but choppy in places.......2007-01-02
Europe - and eurasia - suffered a devastating pestilence in the mid-14th century, with an estimated 25% of its population dying. The spread of the buboic plague from Caffa to Moscow is graphically recounted in Kelly's _The Great Mortality_.
The book follows the course of the plague chronologically, city by city, citing sources while giving the reader a feel for the time period. The book is at its strongest when it discusses the vectors, spread and effects of the disease on European society. Relating the individual stories of plague sufferers and survivors is also a strength, and gives a personalizes the losses inflicted by the disease.
It is at its weakest, however, when the author literally gives "voice" to the deceased, straying from the historical record. This was most apparent in the sections dealing with the plague in Britain, curious, as this was in the latter part of the book. The controversey about the nature of the plague also detracted from the narrative - an addendum or afterword would have been a more apporpriate place to discuss historical semantics.
I do recommend it - the historical scholarship is first rate, and on the whole it reads more like a novel than a history.
Average customer rating:
- Now, we are two
- The Goldfish Went on Vacation: A Memoir of Loss
- little disappointed
- the goldfish went on vacation
- Useful, insightful information for parents on teaching children about death and dying
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The Goldfish Went on Vacation: A Memoir of Loss (and Learning to Tell the Truth about It)
Patty Dann
Manufacturer: Trumpeter
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Binding: Hardcover
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ASIN: 1590304284
Release Date: 2007-01-09 |
Book Description
The moment when Patty Dann’s husband was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, she felt as though the ground had dropped out beneath her. Her grief, however, was immediately interrupted by the realization that she would have to tell their three-year-old son, Jake, that his father was dying. The prognosis gave her husband just a year to live. In that short time, the three of them—Patty, Willem, and Jake—would have to find a way to live with the illness and prepare for his death.
Written with disarming honesty, courage, and humor, Patty weaves together a series of vignettes that chart her and Jake’s eventual acceptance of their new family—through coping with the daily challenges, the sorrow, and the uncertainty, as well as embracing the surprising moments of beauty and acceptance. As much about exploring memory as it is about appreciating the moment, this captivating narrative will serve as a genuine comfort to anyone surprised by grief.
Customer Reviews:
Now, we are two.......2007-06-14
In a support group for families dealing with a terminally ill member, a woman reveals that she had to flush her son's goldfish, but couldn't bear to tell him the truth about it, so her story because that "the goldfish went on vacation."
For author Patty Dann and her preschool son Jake, as dad Willem dies of a brain tumor, "now, we are two."
It's only natural that prolific essayist and writing workshop instructor Patty Dann would publish a book on the topic of loss when she was widowed after less than a decade of marriage. The author observes that with a 3-year-old just out of a stroller, and a husband with a degenerative brain tumor, she may soon be pushing two children around. The short, delicate chapters are peppered with poignant insights and frank discussions about death, but the worth as a whole strives too hard to be "that perfect pocket book for giving to a friend coping with loss."
I personally looked for just such a book when my best friend gave birth to a baby girl doctors predicted would live less than three years. I might have been tempted by this title had it been out, but with four years of maturity (and a still relatively stable, growing four-year-old child for my best friend), I would never select such an unremarkable, silly book to attempt to comfort a friend.
Dann does deal with a unique aspect of loss--she has a year to adjust to becoming a widow and a single parent, as she watches her husband lose his mental and physical faculties. Her ideas, like having family members write letters to her son to be opened in a decade, on his thirteenth birthday, help remind the reader how much we need to celebrate and cherish those around us every day. As a whole, though, the essays add up to little more than a cute book with a fish on the cover. For hard-hitting personal soul-searching about the death of a spouse and father, I would recommend Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking.
The Goldfish Went on Vacation: A Memoir of Loss.......2007-04-05
Excellent read. Couldn't put it down. Subject close to my heart. In reading this book, at times you felt what the author was feeling. Again, it was an excellent book. I may even read it again to see if I missed anything.
little disappointed.......2007-04-02
When I purchased this book I assumed it would be more telling about how her husband's disease affected their lives, how he handled things, along with doctors diagnosis, thoughts and suggestions. This book was more about the wife and her past memories of her life. I didn't care for it.
the goldfish went on vacation.......2007-03-22
this is a wonderful book which I enjoyed reading. The chapters were very short and the book was so easy to read.
You forget the book is true and sometimes you laugh and sometimes you cry.
Useful, insightful information for parents on teaching children about death and dying .......2007-02-15
Patty Dann's memoir, which could be described as a short collection of extremely short stories (the longest spans just four pages) about life and death, is part self-help for those trying to assist a child in coping with the terminal illness or death of a loved-one; part personal history - childhood, adulthood, courtship, marriage, motherhood, (her husband's) illness, widowhood; and part death-related memories of others and excerpts from her students' written stories. The writing is clean, correct, and except for a handful of great sentences and phrases, unremarkable. Because of the nontraditional, seemingly unintuitive way she chooses to allow her three-year-old son, Jake, to be made aware of the facts concerning his father's terminal illness and imminent death, he seems to understand and deal with the situation better than might be expected. Both the author and the "Child Development/Child Life Specialist" who counseled her son, provide useful, insightful information about helping children appropriately handle issues related to death and dying.
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- Execellent Everybody Book
- Cancer Kid
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Defiance
Valerie Hobbs
Manufacturer: Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR)
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ASIN: 0374308470
Release Date: 2004-08-26 |
Book Description
A memorable trio of characters, each fighting for independence
Eleven-year-old Toby Steiner wants to do normal things on his vacation: he wants to hike and race his bike down the hill and learn to fish out on the lake. The last thing he wants is to return to the children’s hospital where his painful cancer treatment finally ended. When Toby starts spending time with Pearl, a spunky old woman who lives on a nearby farm, and Blossom, her broken-down cow, he sees all the more reason to keep the new lump on his side a secret from his parents. From Pearl he discovers the beauty of poetry, and from Blossom he just might uncover the meaning of life.
In this honest and life-affirming novel for young readers, which Suzanne Fisher Staples, author of the Newbery Honor Book Shabanu, calls “beautiful and gripping,” an unforgettable boy learns about the importance of letting things happen on their own and listening to his heart.
Customer Reviews:
Execellent Everybody Book.......2006-04-19
This book is a heart-warming, couragous story. I found myself smiling and by the end, shedding a few tears! What a great story about life, relationships, feelings and more. A must read for anyone!!
Cancer Kid.......2006-02-22
The thing about cancer is that only a person who has it knows how hard it really is to take care of the problem. It's not like you get to pick if you have it or not, it just happens.
In the book DEFIANCE a boy about 11 years old finds another lump on his side, He gets real scared, trust me if I had cancer and I found a lump on my side I would be worried too.
The one big mistake someone with cancer can do is not tell anyone and let it get worse. I know how hard it must be for the parents because they worry all the time. My grandma has lung cancer, and she dosn't even smoke. It's real hard to just leave them alone but you have to learn to and that is what this whole book is all about really, he wants his mom to leave him alone about his problem but is comes back and he just doesn't want to go through it agian. I wouldn't want to eather.
Toby meets someone who helps him make the right choices in the end so he soesn't make dumb ones, like not getting the treatment he needs for his cancer. he just wishes he could be a normal kid and that is what put this book together, the choices he made, and how he made them.
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